# Things I've learned from War Movies **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [April 6, 2007, 7:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-ive-learned-from-war-movies/399017 "2007-04-06T19:21:13Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Surbey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/4491bb/32.png) [@Surbey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Surbey)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2007, 7:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-ive-learned-from-war-movies/399017/1 "2007-04-06T19:21:13Z")
[Inspired by this thread on westerns](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=409011) I’ve learned that talking about what you’re going to do when the war is over, especially if there is a girl and house involved, will get you shot. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Hildo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/bbce88/32.png) [@Johnny\_Hildo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Hildo)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2007, 7:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-ive-learned-from-war-movies/399017/2 "2007-04-06T19:31:22Z")
And after you get shot and your lungs are perforated with bullets and you can barely breath what you really need most is your friends sticking a cigarette in your mouth. ---
**Author:** ![Zeldar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b77776/32.png) [@Zeldar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeldar)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2007, 7:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-ive-learned-from-war-movies/399017/3 "2007-04-06T19:36:02Z")
If you and your last two living buddies have shot up all your ammo and are completely surrounded by several hundred bloodthirsty enemy troops, don’t despair. Several jets with naplam and rockets are just over the hill and will completely annihilate the enemy in just a matter of moments. Of course they were nowhere to be found while the battalion you were with was being slaughtered, but let’s not get all picky. ---
**Author:** ![Surbey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/4491bb/32.png) [@Surbey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Surbey)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2007, 7:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-ive-learned-from-war-movies/399017/4 "2007-04-06T19:38:46Z")
Gunshots always come in two. One to knock your helmet off, the other to blow your brains out. ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2007, 7:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-ive-learned-from-war-movies/399017/5 "2007-04-06T19:51:46Z")
[QUOTE=Zeldar] If you and your last two living buddies have shot up all your ammo and are completely surrounded by several hundred bloodthirsty enemy troops, don’t despair. Several jets with naplam and rockets are just over the hill and will completely annihilate the enemy in just a matter of moments. [/QUOTE] So that’s what happens after the final freeze frame in _Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid_! ---
**Author:** ![KneadToKnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kneadtoknow/32/3999_2.png) [@KneadToKnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KneadToKnow)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2007, 8:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-ive-learned-from-war-movies/399017/6 "2007-04-06T20:20:08Z")
Subtitles will cost you a Best Cinematography nomination. ---
**Author:** ![Saltire](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/saltire/32/553_2.png) [@Saltire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Saltire)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2007, 8:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-ive-learned-from-war-movies/399017/7 "2007-04-06T20:21:24Z")
Thousands of rounds whistling past is just background noise, but if it gets quiet and you hear a single shot, that’s the one that’ll kill someone important. ---
**Author:** ![Tristan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tristan/32/18058_2.png) [@Tristan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tristan)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2007, 8:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-ive-learned-from-war-movies/399017/8 "2007-04-06T20:30:40Z")
Officers are always incompentent “By the Book” types, who often get shot trying to follow said book. This lets the Gruff Sergeant with A Heart of Gold to lead the young men into battle. ---
**Author:** ![dmatsch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/3be4f8/32.png) [@dmatsch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dmatsch)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2007, 8:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-ive-learned-from-war-movies/399017/9 "2007-04-06T20:33:07Z")
1. If you are a conscientious objector and find yourself drafted/forced into the military, your best buddy will be shot and die in your arms. You will however, avenge him by berserking on the enemy troops, killing them all. You will then be born-again hard. Oooh-rah. 2. Military-issue armaments do not, repeat DO NOT run out of ammo in critical situations. 3. Lone Wolf Maverics’ Article 15’s never stick because you just saved the platoon/ship/general’s daughter. ---
**Author:** ![Lemur866](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lemur866/32/434_2.png) [@Lemur866](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lemur866)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2007, 8:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-ive-learned-from-war-movies/399017/10 "2007-04-06T20:52:43Z")
“I can’t stand you, what with your making your own rules and living by your own code. What I really wanna do is bust you back to private. But I can’t. Due to your heroics I’m forced to promote you. Now get outta here, and don’t ever let me see you again.” ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2007, 8:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-ive-learned-from-war-movies/399017/11 "2007-04-06T20:55:18Z")
From Forbidden Hollywood: Black sidekicks die first. ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Borgia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/larry_borgia/32/156_2.png) [@Larry\_Borgia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Borgia)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2007, 8:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-ive-learned-from-war-movies/399017/12 "2007-04-06T20:59:03Z")
Sarge is just as scared as you are. The only person who wouldn’t be scared in a situation like this is an idiot. But when the time comes to take that hill, he’ll do his job, and he knows you will too. ---
**Author:** ![Zeldar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b77776/32.png) [@Zeldar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeldar)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2007, 9:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-ive-learned-from-war-movies/399017/13 "2007-04-06T21:03:39Z")
If the rest of the fellows make fun of your accent or your preference for soft things or your diligence when handling KP duties, don’t be distressed. There will come a time when a hand grenade will come rolling into the foxhole and you can get back in their good graces by diving on it. They’ll even name a memorial cot for you and hang your picture in the latrine. ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2007, 9:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-ive-learned-from-war-movies/399017/14 "2007-04-06T21:18:33Z")
All Japanese soldiers look Korean. The Wermacht showed a prediliction for using Pershing tanks. If you ever get fresh, hot rations on the front lines, you will be attacked before you get to dessert. “The Book” is obviously a collection of things “Not To Do.” ---
**Author:** ![RealityChuck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/realitychuck/32/195_2.png) [@RealityChuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RealityChuck)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2007, 9:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-ive-learned-from-war-movies/399017/15 "2007-04-06T21:49:43Z")
There’s someone from Brooklyn in every platoon. ---
**Author:** ![Lemur866](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lemur866/32/434_2.png) [@Lemur866](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lemur866)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2007, 9:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-ive-learned-from-war-movies/399017/16 "2007-04-06T21:52:04Z")
And one italian, one irish, one jew, one black guy, and one southerner. ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2007, 10:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-ive-learned-from-war-movies/399017/17 "2007-04-06T22:08:25Z")
It was apparently possible back then to take off from an aircraft carrier, fly a mission, engage in a huge battle, return to your carrier and land, all the while changing aircraft in mid-flight. It was possible to change your dive bomber into a fighter plane, then into a torpedo bomber, then into a different type of dive bomber, then into yet another type of dive bomber. ---
**Author:** ![Scissorjack](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c67d28/32.png) [@Scissorjack](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scissorjack)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2007, 10:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-ive-learned-from-war-movies/399017/18 "2007-04-06T22:08:45Z")
And, of course, the shy bookworm. ---
**Author:** ![Lemur866](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lemur866/32/434_2.png) [@Lemur866](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lemur866)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2007, 10:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-ive-learned-from-war-movies/399017/19 "2007-04-06T22:11:48Z")
[QUOTE=Scissorjack] And, of course, the shy bookworm. [/QUOTE] Who redeems himself ala Zeldar by jumping on a grenade. Note to self: do not join the army. ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2007, 10:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-ive-learned-from-war-movies/399017/20 "2007-04-06T22:20:50Z")
[QUOTE=silenus] All Japanese soldiers look Korean. The Wermacht showed a prediliction for using Pershing tanks. [/QUOTE] Also, Hitler, along with most of the German high command, was British. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-ive-learned-from-war-movies/399017.md?page=2)