# Things I've learned from War Movies **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [April 6, 2007, 7:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-ive-learned-from-war-movies/399017 "2007-04-06T19:21:13Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Lust4Life](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ecc23a/32.png) [@Lust4Life](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lust4Life)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2007, 1:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-ive-learned-from-war-movies/399017/81 "2007-04-08T01:32:18Z")
All British officers are upper class twits who cant make decisions,have no offensive spirit and ignore the visiting American when he tries to get them to DO something. Of course hes the only real man there. No German officer worth his salt will disobey the standing order that all officers in areas out of the fighting MUST be accompanied by a snare drummer just out of sight. Vietnam era the rag tag of unenthusiastic recruits in boot camp will eventually come together and pass out as well trained soldiers and then go to Vietnam and wander about in shambling mobs ,smoking, chatting to each other,playing transistor radios and not bothering to keep a lookout. The N.C.O who likes to be his squads friend off duty,smokes dope ,has long hair hates the war but cares about the locals and is a nice person is the best senior soldier. The guy who just wants to kill the enemy,instil discipline in the men and shouts at them and who is quite frankly a nasty man is an ignorant army barmy bully who just doesn t understand about the conflict. ---
**Author:** ![Raguleader](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/258eb7/32.png) [@Raguleader](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Raguleader)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2007, 3:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-ive-learned-from-war-movies/399017/82 "2007-04-08T03:05:49Z")
[QUOTE=Lust4Life] Any soldier who befriends a foreign civilian kid is as good as dead. [/QUOTE] OR he’s a spy for the enemy. Enemy at the Gates lands on the double-points-score square for this one. [QUOTE=Lust4Life] All British officers are upper class twits who cant make decisions,have no offensive spirit and ignore the visiting American when he tries to get them to DO something. [/QUOTE] This is only for generals. Lower ranking British officers are some of the most badass guys ever. Also, if you see a soldier walking down the street playing a bagpipe during a pitched battle for an occupied town at an important crossroads… he is bulletproof. It would seem that bagpipe music is so horrid, even bullets won’t go near it. ---
**Author:** ![Lizard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/dfb087/32.png) [@Lizard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lizard)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2007, 3:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-ive-learned-from-war-movies/399017/83 "2007-04-08T03:46:40Z")
[QUOTE=Der Trihs] Well, isn’t that what someone _would_ flashback on ? Given that combat is likely to be rather more stressful that driving people around, loading cargo, and so forth. Besides, it wouldn’t make for a good scene to have the traumatized vet clutching his wife or buddy and sobbing, “It’s all I see, over and over again ! Crate # 13AB-7TU-984 ! I can’t stand it any more !” [/QUOTE] I was being mildly sarcastic. My point was that the total percentage of members of the military actually involved in combat is pretty small in modern militaries; the odds are a soldier is far more likely to spend most of the war doing anything but actually fighting. Yet the only veterans who appear in fiction are traumatized from all the heavy combat they engaged in. ---
**Author:** ![Evil\_Captor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f17d59/32.png) [@Evil\_Captor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Evil_Captor)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2007, 4:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-ive-learned-from-war-movies/399017/84 "2007-04-08T04:25:07Z")
Y’know that village that looks utterly peaceful and tranquil after slogging through war-torn terrain for miles? It’s full of enemy soldiers, hidden tanks and so forth. ---
**Author:** ![msmith537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@msmith537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/msmith537)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2007, 4:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-ive-learned-from-war-movies/399017/85 "2007-04-08T04:56:49Z")
[QUOTE=Lizard] I was being mildly sarcastic. My point was that the total percentage of members of the military actually involved in combat is pretty small in modern militaries; the odds are a soldier is far more likely to spend most of the war doing anything but actually fighting. Yet the only veterans who appear in fiction are traumatized from all the heavy combat they engaged in. [/QUOTE] Because the story of how the 479th Combat Logistics Battalion spent it’s tour organizing MREs does not make for compelling war drama. ---
**Author:** ![Lizard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/dfb087/32.png) [@Lizard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lizard)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2007, 4:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-ive-learned-from-war-movies/399017/86 "2007-04-08T04:58:45Z")
[QUOTE=msmith537] Because the story of how the 479th Combat Logistics Battalion spent it’s tour organizing MREs does not make for compelling war drama. [/QUOTE] And since their job was just as, if not more, important to the success of the military campaign as one platoon’s brief experience in combat, perhaps the “dramatic” depiction of war is not too accurate, eh? ---
**Author:** ![Raguleader](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/258eb7/32.png) [@Raguleader](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Raguleader)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2007, 6:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-ive-learned-from-war-movies/399017/87 "2007-04-08T06:47:24Z")
[QUOTE=msmith537] Because the story of how the 479th Combat Logistics Battalion spent it’s tour organizing MREs does not make for compelling war drama. [/QUOTE] Heh, you know, that could make for an interesting enough movie, if done right. You can get the same kind of workplace drama you get anywhere else, but with the presence of firearms and the absence of air conditioning. ---
**Author:** ![chowder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/977dab/32.png) [@chowder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chowder)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2007, 7:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-ive-learned-from-war-movies/399017/88 "2007-04-08T07:18:26Z")
In a lot of small German towns there is a bank with millions of dollars in gold bullion in it that the retreating Germans just forgot about. The advancing American patrol will team up with the Nazi tank commander who will blow the door off the bank. Everybody shares the loot and they all go off happy ever after…nobody gets killed or injured ---
**Author:** ![Lust4Life](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ecc23a/32.png) [@Lust4Life](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lust4Life)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2007, 8:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-ive-learned-from-war-movies/399017/89 "2007-04-08T08:17:07Z")
[QUOTE=Lizard] And since their job was just as, if not more, important to the success of the military campaign as one platoon’s brief experience in combat, perhaps the “dramatic” depiction of war is not too accurate, eh? [/QUOTE] Up until at least the Korean war (discounting the nations who happily marched their men through minefields etc.ie.Russia and Japan)more soldiers died and were invalided out the fighting due to poor hygiene and disease then all of those out of combat Cite The British Army Regimental Hygiene and Mosquito control course . (Yes I know !Was caught loafing in the wrong place at the wrong time and got volunteered) So that makes that even more important but given the choice of a shitkicker about the Platoon or a movie about malaria prevention I think I ll go for the shitkicker shallow cunt that I am. ---
**Author:** ![Lust4Life](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ecc23a/32.png) [@Lust4Life](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lust4Life)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2007, 8:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-ive-learned-from-war-movies/399017/90 "2007-04-08T08:22:57Z")
[QUOTE=Scissorjack] The enemy was us. We fought ourselves. I mean, we killed a few hundred thousand Vietnamese and all, but it was basically a bad thing for _us_. [/QUOTE] Obviously it was a fight against ourselves but mostly it was a voyage of self discovery the combat was only a means to that end and who knows ?one day when the human race has grown out of war… ---
**Author:** ![Spoons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spoons/32/3141_2.png) [@Spoons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoons)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2007, 8:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-ive-learned-from-war-movies/399017/91 "2007-04-08T08:38:29Z")
[QUOTE=GargoyleWB] “Heh, Kowalski’s trying to draw into a 3 aces hand. Sucker.” [/QUOTE] Regardless, tonight’s big winner at cards or dice will be dead tomorrow. Especially if he said he needed the money to marry his best girl and buy a house somewhere when the war’s over. ---
**Author:** ![BraheSilver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ecccb3/32.png) [@BraheSilver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BraheSilver)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2007, 8:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-ive-learned-from-war-movies/399017/92 "2007-04-08T08:50:52Z")
[QUOTE=chowder] In a lot of small German towns there is a bank with millions of dollars in gold bullion in it that the retreating Germans just forgot about. The advancing American patrol will team up with the Nazi tank commander who will blow the door off the bank. Everybody shares the loot and they all go off happy ever after…nobody gets killed or injured [/QUOTE] That was a comedy, so it gets a pass. There’s always somebody playing “Ride of the Valkyries” on the radio. Eventually there will be a Civil War movie with a kid following the Union troops, cranking Wagner on a victrola as they assault the Rebs. ---
**Author:** ![chowder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/977dab/32.png) [@chowder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chowder)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2007, 9:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-ive-learned-from-war-movies/399017/93 "2007-04-08T09:59:09Z")
[QUOTE=BraheSilver] That was a comedy, so it gets a pass. There’s always somebody playing “Ride of the Valkyries” on the radio. Eventually there will be a Civil War movie with a kid following the Union troops, cranking Wagner on a victrola as they assault the Rebs. [/QUOTE] Yes the film was a comedy but you must have heard all about the Nazi gold that went “missing” never to be seen again. I’ll bet Clint and his cronies got it 😛 ---
**Author:** ![chowder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/977dab/32.png) [@chowder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chowder)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2007, 10:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-ive-learned-from-war-movies/399017/94 "2007-04-08T10:01:19Z")
In An American Civil War film the white kid allus meets the black kid he was a buddy with back on the plantation, they are usually on opposing sides but end up still buddies ---
**Author:** ![Scissorjack](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c67d28/32.png) [@Scissorjack](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scissorjack)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2007, 10:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-ive-learned-from-war-movies/399017/95 "2007-04-08T10:10:40Z")
[QUOTE=chowder] In a lot of small German towns there is a bank with millions of dollars in gold bullion in it that the retreating Germans just forgot about. The advancing American patrol will team up with the Nazi tank commander who will blow the door off the bank. Everybody shares the loot and they all go off happy ever after…nobody gets killed or injured [/QUOTE] And Donald Sutherland invented hippies in 1945, and was rewarded with a tank command. ---
**Author:** ![audit1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ed8c4c/32.png) [@audit1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/audit1)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2007, 1:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-ive-learned-from-war-movies/399017/96 "2007-04-08T13:11:32Z")
The proper way for a figher pilot to relieve stress during combat is to remove his oxygen mask and take a deep breath. It does not matter what the air pressure or temperture is, you dont need that mask. If you are a gunner on a bomber you may remove your gloves any time and handle bare metal. No risk of frostbite here. ---
**Author:** ![Lumpy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lumpy/32/446_2.png) [@Lumpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lumpy)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2007, 3:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-ive-learned-from-war-movies/399017/97 "2007-04-08T15:54:56Z")
Someone will win the poker game by beating four of kind with a royal flush; but just as he tries to collect his winnings the air raid siren will go off or shells will start falling, and the pot will vanish in the scramble. ---
**Author:** ![KneadToKnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kneadtoknow/32/3999_2.png) [@KneadToKnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KneadToKnow)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2007, 4:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-ive-learned-from-war-movies/399017/98 "2007-04-08T16:27:17Z")
[QUOTE=ArchiveGuy] Foreign language films have made up over 20% of the Best Cinematography nominees of the last 7 years [/QUOTE] No argument, but _Letters from Iwo Jima_ certainly deserved a nomination last year and IMHO got screwed. ---
**Author:** ![chowder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/977dab/32.png) [@chowder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chowder)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2007, 4:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-ive-learned-from-war-movies/399017/99 "2007-04-08T16:33:52Z")
While you are on a bombing raid you can guarantee that your dog will get run over ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2007, 5:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-ive-learned-from-war-movies/399017/100 "2007-04-08T17:08:49Z")
Sailors on leave burst into musical numbers. The Bronx is up and the Battery’s down. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-ive-learned-from-war-movies/399017.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-ive-learned-from-war-movies/399017.md?page=6)