# Things I've learned from War Movies **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [April 6, 2007, 7:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-ive-learned-from-war-movies/399017 "2007-04-06T19:21:13Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2007, 7:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-ive-learned-from-war-movies/399017/101 "2007-04-08T19:24:03Z")
American soldiers and sailors could have won every battle, and every war, and prevented every attack, if they weren’t hamstrung by pussy politicians. Every SpecOp paramilitary mission will be betrayed by a drunk State Department attache, or by a State Department secretary seduced by a cold-blooded assasin. ---
**Author:** ![TV\_time](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/f17d59/32.png) [@TV\_time](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TV_time)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2007, 7:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-ive-learned-from-war-movies/399017/102 "2007-04-08T19:49:16Z")
[QUOTE=Lust4Life] And dont even think of mentioning resuming your career as a classical pianist after the war if you want to keep your fingers. Any soldier who befriends a foreign civilian kid is as good as dead. [/QUOTE] Other guarentees of death are saying, “I didn’t think I was going to make this one cause I had a dream that…” or “You killed my buddy, you killed my buddy, you dirty…” ---
**Author:** ![msmith537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@msmith537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/msmith537)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2007, 8:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-ive-learned-from-war-movies/399017/103 "2007-04-08T20:44:42Z")
[QUOTE=Lizard] And since their job was just as, if not more, important to the success of the military campaign as one platoon’s brief experience in combat, perhaps the “dramatic” depiction of war is not too accurate, eh? [/QUOTE] Ultimately people watch war movies for the drama and excitement of combat, not for the “accuracy”. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2007, 10:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-ive-learned-from-war-movies/399017/104 "2007-04-08T22:36:40Z")
> [@](#): > > If you’re part of a small, SpecOps team sent deep into enemy territory to blow up an installation/recover a piece of vital technology/extract a prisoner And such a Special Ops mission will never just help things along in the local theatre. The Outcome Of The Entire War Will Hinge On Its Success. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2007, 11:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-ive-learned-from-war-movies/399017/105 "2007-04-08T23:32:36Z")
If a soldier - falls in love with a native girl - has a newborn baby - has a pregnant wife - has a stroke-impaired father - has a promotion waiting back at his peace time job - has a “bad feeling about this” - just wrote his mom about how it’s not so bad at the front OR - has escaped punishement as a civilian by joining the military he is dead meat. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2007, 11:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-ive-learned-from-war-movies/399017/106 "2007-04-08T23:33:50Z")
French soldiers will dress well and fight poorly. ---
**Author:** ![Merijeek](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f05b48/32.png) [@Merijeek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Merijeek)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2007, 11:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-ive-learned-from-war-movies/399017/107 "2007-04-08T23:35:49Z")
[QUOTE=Spoons] Regardless, tonight’s big winner at cards or dice will be dead tomorrow. Especially if he said he needed the money to marry his best girl and buy a house somewhere when the war’s over. [/QUOTE] To be fair, everything except the air raid will apply to pretty much any movie that involves a poker game. As we all know, four of a kind of straight flushes show up every couple hands… -Joe ---
**Author:** ![Evil\_Captor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f17d59/32.png) [@Evil\_Captor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Evil_Captor)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2007, 11:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-ive-learned-from-war-movies/399017/108 "2007-04-08T23:41:03Z")
Italian-American soldiers will fight like heroes. Italian soldiers … not so much. ---
**Author:** ![Merijeek](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f05b48/32.png) [@Merijeek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Merijeek)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2007, 12:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-ive-learned-from-war-movies/399017/109 "2007-04-09T00:31:12Z")
[QUOTE=Evil Captor] Italian-American soldiers will fight like heroes. Italian soldiers … not so much. [/QUOTE] It’s that Bronx/Queens upbringing. -Joe ---
**Author:** ![Raguleader](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/258eb7/32.png) [@Raguleader](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Raguleader)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2007, 1:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-ive-learned-from-war-movies/399017/110 "2007-04-09T01:19:54Z")
[QUOTE=Merijeek] It’s that Bronx/Queens upbringing. -Joe [/QUOTE] Heh, this reminds me of a hillarious random dialogue bit I overheard when my brother was playing Call of Duty 2 on his playstation. “You go with Brooklyn and clear out that room!” “But Sarge, I’m from the Bronx!” “Shut up, Brooklyn!” ---
**Author:** ![dmatsch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/3be4f8/32.png) [@dmatsch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dmatsch)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2007, 1:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-ive-learned-from-war-movies/399017/111 "2007-04-09T13:26:48Z")
[QUOTE=Lemur866] And one italian, one irish, one jew, one black guy, and one southerner. [/QUOTE] This is not cliche. It’s a military fact of life. ---
**Author:** ![dmatsch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/3be4f8/32.png) [@dmatsch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dmatsch)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2007, 1:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-ive-learned-from-war-movies/399017/112 "2007-04-09T13:34:47Z")
[QUOTE=Scissorjack] Fighter pilots are compelled to give everyone a real time blow-by-blow radio account of everything that’s currently happening to them: “Red Leader! I’ve got multiple bandits on me! They came from nowhere! I can’t shake them! It’s half past six! I ate ants as a child!”. [/QUOTE] Fighter pilot’s mantra: “lose sight, lose the fight”. Any help from fellow pilots in this matter is greatly appreciated by all. ---
**Author:** ![dmatsch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/3be4f8/32.png) [@dmatsch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dmatsch)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2007, 1:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-ive-learned-from-war-movies/399017/113 "2007-04-09T13:44:58Z")
[QUOTE=Lust4Life] And in ww2 nearly all sergeants came from there ,were wisecracking wheeler dealers and continually smoked cigars. [/QUOTE] No, not smoked. Chewed. ---
**Author:** ![gonzomax](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e8c25b/32.png) [@gonzomax](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gonzomax)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2007, 3:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-ive-learned-from-war-movies/399017/114 "2007-04-09T15:18:58Z")
Bad guys can not shoot. Americans are deadly accurate ,even on the run. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Miskatonic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mr.miskatonic/32/310_2.png) [@Mr.Miskatonic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Miskatonic)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2007, 3:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-ive-learned-from-war-movies/399017/115 "2007-04-09T15:43:06Z")
By Category: **Revolutionary War** : Apparently, the whole war was balanced on a couple of junior officers ninja fighting during the height of the battle. **Civil War** : The Average soldier seems to have been about 225 lbs and 40 years old. **World War 1** : It doesn’t matter how quiet your sector is or what time of day it is; someone is opening up with the machine gun off in the distance. Also: For some reason, the enemy trenches are always within direct machine gun range. Who let those guys build so close! **World War 2** : Backpacks and webbing are apparently optional in certain movies. **Vietnam War** : Apparently, it all came down to a car chase! **Gulf War** : Yes, as a matter of fact, we are shooting. ---
**Author:** ![muldoonthief](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muldoonthief/32/3188_2.png) [@muldoonthief](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/muldoonthief)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2007, 3:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-ive-learned-from-war-movies/399017/116 "2007-04-09T15:45:38Z")
[QUOTE=Raguleader] Ioan Gruffudd always plays an officer. This officer is never of the same nationality as Ioan Gruffudd, and only rarely the same nationality as another officer he has played in a movie. [/QUOTE] What about Horatio Hornblower? A short squad of Americans can charge uphill into a well-placed, dug in Nazi machine gun nest and wipe it out while only taking a single casualty. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2007, 3:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-ive-learned-from-war-movies/399017/117 "2007-04-09T15:53:59Z")
> [@](#): > > Vietnam War: Apparently, it all came down to a car chase! Okay, this one went over my head. Leaving aside the issue of it being a cliche, what Vietnam war movie involved a car chase? ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Miskatonic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mr.miskatonic/32/310_2.png) [@Mr.Miskatonic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Miskatonic)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2007, 4:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-ive-learned-from-war-movies/399017/118 "2007-04-09T16:05:33Z")
[QUOTE=Little Nemo] Okay, this one went over my head. Leaving aside the issue of it being a cliche, what Vietnam war movie involved a car chase? [/QUOTE] Have you not seen the ending of [The Green Berets?](http://imdb.com/title/tt0063035/) ---
**Author:** ![Raguleader](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/258eb7/32.png) [@Raguleader](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Raguleader)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2007, 4:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-ive-learned-from-war-movies/399017/119 "2007-04-09T16:08:09Z")
[QUOTE=muldoonthief] What about Horatio Hornblower? A short squad of Americans can charge uphill into a well-placed, dug in Nazi machine gun nest and wipe it out while only taking a single casualty. [/QUOTE] Commander Hornblower was English. Mr. Gruffudd is Welsh. Pretty sure they were different nations back then, though I have been known to talk out of my ass from time to time. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2007, 4:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-ive-learned-from-war-movies/399017/120 "2007-04-09T16:17:25Z")
> [@](#): > > Have you not seen the ending of The Green Berets? Not since around 1973. I didn’t remember any car chase. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-ive-learned-from-war-movies/399017.md?page=5) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-ive-learned-from-war-movies/399017.md?page=7)