# Things Mary probably never said to Jesus
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-mary-probably-never-said-to-jesus/217922
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
**Created:** [December 9, 2003, 2:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-mary-probably-never-said-to-jesus/217922 "2003-12-09T14:52:35Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 1
### Author:  [@Olive\_The\_Other\_Reindeer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Olive_The_Other_Reindeer)
#### Post date: [December 9, 2003, 2:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-mary-probably-never-said-to-jesus/217922/1 "2003-12-09T14:52:35Z")
“Close that door! What, were you born in a stable?”
“So, who do you think you are, God?”
Any others?
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### Author:  [@glee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/glee)
#### Post date: [December 9, 2003, 2:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-mary-probably-never-said-to-jesus/217922/2 "2003-12-09T14:58:24Z")
How come your relatives never show up at family occasions?
You’re such a goody-goody!
Do you know how worried I was when you just disappeared for 40 days and nights? You should tell me where you’re going to be when you stay out.
Hvae you got a girl-friend yet?
Well I think you were just encouraging drunken behaviour at that wedding…
I still don’t understand about how a camel can get through there…
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### Author:  [@NurseCarmen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NurseCarmen)
#### Post date: [December 9, 2003, 2:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-mary-probably-never-said-to-jesus/217922/3 "2003-12-09T14:59:29Z")
Stop biting your nails!
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### Author:  [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)
#### Post date: [December 9, 2003, 3:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-mary-probably-never-said-to-jesus/217922/4 "2003-12-09T15:03:27Z")
I don’t know about those friends you hang out with.
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### Author:  [@quiltguy154](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/quiltguy154)
#### Post date: [December 9, 2003, 3:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-mary-probably-never-said-to-jesus/217922/5 "2003-12-09T15:05:17Z")
Where ya’ goin’?
When will you be back?
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### Author:  [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)
#### Post date: [December 9, 2003, 3:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-mary-probably-never-said-to-jesus/217922/6 "2003-12-09T15:23:10Z")
Just wait till your Father gets home.
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### Author:  [@Chastain86](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chastain86)
#### Post date: [December 9, 2003, 3:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-mary-probably-never-said-to-jesus/217922/7 "2003-12-09T15:24:51Z")
Gone for THREE DAYS?! You better have a damn good excuse!
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### Author:  [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)
#### Post date: [December 9, 2003, 3:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-mary-probably-never-said-to-jesus/217922/8 "2003-12-09T15:31:02Z")
Can you run to the store for me? We’re out of fish and bread.
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### Author:  [@merge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/merge)
#### Post date: [December 9, 2003, 3:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-mary-probably-never-said-to-jesus/217922/9 "2003-12-09T15:31:30Z")
It’s your Birthday again?.. Well, you better help me with the tree this year!
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### Author:  [@The\_Mad\_Hermit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Mad_Hermit)
#### Post date: [December 9, 2003, 3:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-mary-probably-never-said-to-jesus/217922/10 "2003-12-09T15:31:34Z")
While you were out feeding everybody and their brother, some Roman soldiers were here looking for you. They said they would be back. What kind of trouble are you in, anyway?
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### Author:  [@Gmork](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gmork)
#### Post date: [December 9, 2003, 3:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-mary-probably-never-said-to-jesus/217922/11 "2003-12-09T15:53:32Z")
Don’t play with that. It’ll fall off.
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### Author:  [@plnnr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/plnnr)
#### Post date: [December 9, 2003, 4:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-mary-probably-never-said-to-jesus/217922/12 "2003-12-09T16:05:57Z")
Next Thursday is your grandfather’s birthday - don’t let me forget to get him a nice card.
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### Author:  [@Casey1505](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Casey1505)
#### Post date: [December 9, 2003, 4:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-mary-probably-never-said-to-jesus/217922/13 "2003-12-09T16:26:46Z")
I guess that’s just your cross to bear.
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### Author:  [@cellblock\_view](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cellblock_view)
#### Post date: [December 9, 2003, 4:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-mary-probably-never-said-to-jesus/217922/14 "2003-12-09T16:29:41Z")
You going to finish your myrrh or get no nachos when the PPV movie starts!
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### Author:  [@h.sapiens](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/h.sapiens)
#### Post date: [December 9, 2003, 4:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-mary-probably-never-said-to-jesus/217922/15 "2003-12-09T16:51:27Z")
Don’t you take that holier-than-thou attitude with me mister!
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### Author:  [@Uvula\_Donor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Uvula_Donor)
#### Post date: [December 9, 2003, 5:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-mary-probably-never-said-to-jesus/217922/16 "2003-12-09T17:12:04Z")
_Other_ sons go on to be doctors, and marry a nice girl, and _take care_ of their mothers. But no, you have to hang around with your hoodlum friends and act like the Messiah! _ **Oy!** _
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### Author:  [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)
#### Post date: [December 9, 2003, 6:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-mary-probably-never-said-to-jesus/217922/17 "2003-12-09T18:17:13Z")
“What, you think crosses grow on trees?”
“Next time I find the swimming pool filled with wine, you’re grounded!”
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### Author:  [@danceswithcats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/danceswithcats)
#### Post date: [December 9, 2003, 6:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-mary-probably-never-said-to-jesus/217922/18 "2003-12-09T18:31:48Z")
If I have to stop this oxcart, you’re all going to get it.
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### Author:  [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)
#### Post date: [December 9, 2003, 6:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-mary-probably-never-said-to-jesus/217922/19 "2003-12-09T18:31:59Z")
That young Judas has a nice job. Why can’t you be more like him?
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### Author:  [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)
#### Post date: [December 9, 2003, 6:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-mary-probably-never-said-to-jesus/217922/20 "2003-12-09T18:34:23Z")
Yes I threw that stone. You said let the one without sin cast the first stone.
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