# Things MEN do to make themselves attractive to WOMEN that don't make them attractive to women **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [October 10, 2012, 3:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-men-do-to-make-themselves-attractive-to-women-that-dont-make-them-attractive-to-women/637279 "2012-10-10T03:35:36Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 9
**Author:** ![Springtime\_for\_Spacers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a3d4f5/32.png) [@Springtime\_for\_Spacers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Springtime_for_Spacers)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2012, 12:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-men-do-to-make-themselves-attractive-to-women-that-dont-make-them-attractive-to-women/637279/161 "2012-10-13T00:24:57Z")
> [@msmith537](#): > > I think I have to call bullshit. > > The consensus seems to be women don’t like guys who: > work out too much > show overt displays of wealth > party too much > smell like anything > dress too well, too plain or not well enough > spend time on their hair (or try to hide that they are losing their hair) > drive a sports car (especially convertible), truck or motorcycle > make any indication of how strong, tough, wealthy, successful, athletic or popular they are > isn’t a jock, guido, hipster, metrosexual, player, IT nerd > Conversely, that would presume the idea man for many of you is: > scrawny and weak or overweight > poor > nice (but not too nice)? > sober > bald > takes public transportation > humble > so sylistically neutral as to likely not be noticed > > Look, women clearly go for guys who are fit, good looking, rich, charming, successful, confident, and put together. They just don’t want the guy to LOOK like he spends a lot of time and effort being fit, good looking, rich, charming, successful, confident, and put together. Or even worse trying too hard and failing. Because then it’s not magical and romantic. It’s a carefully crafted marketing brand. > Plus if any of this were correct, The Situation wouldn’t have a job and every town between Sandy Hook and LBI would be very different on Friday and Saturday nights. There clearly is a large population of women who like the greased up meathead guido look. Coincidently, there is a strong overlap between that population and the population of girls who will get drunk and sleep with a guy they just met in a bar. The Situation (or The Occasional Table) as he was dubbed was on Celebrity Big Brother UK recently. However you dress him up he’ll always look like a potato. ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2012, 1:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-men-do-to-make-themselves-attractive-to-women-that-dont-make-them-attractive-to-women/637279/162 "2012-10-13T01:15:27Z")
> [@11811](#): > > I read that last one as “sport scars.” I think those are mostly accidental. Actually, Heidelberg scars were mostly intentional once they became terribly popular. Don’t know if that was for the male or female audience, though. And, I’m still good. ---
**Author:** ![Wesley\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wesley_clark/32/20581_2.png) [@Wesley\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wesley_Clark)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2012, 1:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-men-do-to-make-themselves-attractive-to-women-that-dont-make-them-attractive-to-women/637279/163 "2012-10-13T01:35:33Z")
> [@needscoffee](#): > > Well, I can’t say WHY guys do it, but playing air-guitar, especially while making that face, and then looking over at us to confirm to them their air-playing prowess, is definitely not appealing. Luckily most guys seem to grow out of it. I play air guitar and air drums for one person, and that is me. In fact I make it a point to avoid eye contact when I am lost in my music, lest I get pulled out of the flow. ---
**Author:** ![carnut](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnut/32/3531_2.png) [@carnut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnut)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2012, 3:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-men-do-to-make-themselves-attractive-to-women-that-dont-make-them-attractive-to-women/637279/164 "2012-10-13T03:23:56Z")
I hate clearly practiced pickup lines. It is usually pretty easy to tell when you mean what you are saying with the pickup line or if it’s a line you use regularly. Lots of hair gel. Muscle shirts, especially stretched-out ones. Wear a sleeveless shirt is just fine in summer but don’t show me your nipples. Quit trying to sell me on how great you are. If it’s true, I’ll figure it out. Machismo stopped turning me on at age 19. You shouldn’t have to psych up for the role of being a man. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2012, 4:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-men-do-to-make-themselves-attractive-to-women-that-dont-make-them-attractive-to-women/637279/165 "2012-10-13T04:24:05Z")
> [@Springtime\_for\_Spacers](#): > > The Situation (or The Occasional Table) as he was dubbed was on Celebrity Big Brother UK recently. However you dress him up he’ll always look like a potato. [Is there a term for a male Butterface?](http://wallstcheatsheet.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/09/the-situation.jpg) ---
**Author:** ![Hello\_Again](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/85e7bf/32.png) [@Hello\_Again](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hello_Again)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2012, 4:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-men-do-to-make-themselves-attractive-to-women-that-dont-make-them-attractive-to-women/637279/166 "2012-10-13T04:45:41Z")
> [@Cat\_Whisperer](#): > > [Is there a term for a male Butterface?](http://wallstcheatsheet.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/09/the-situation.jpg) I think it’s “Daniel Craig.” Hey we could start using that! _Whoa, that’s a Craig if I ever saw one._ ---
**Author:** ![Enkel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/df705f/32.png) [@Enkel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enkel)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2012, 12:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-men-do-to-make-themselves-attractive-to-women-that-dont-make-them-attractive-to-women/637279/167 "2012-10-13T12:01:21Z")
> [@the lone cashew](#): > > But I do it for me, don’t do it for anyone else. I do it because it makes me happy. And… now we know why you are **the LONE cashew** ---
**Author:** ![Wesley\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wesley_clark/32/20581_2.png) [@Wesley\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wesley_Clark)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2012, 6:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-men-do-to-make-themselves-attractive-to-women-that-dont-make-them-attractive-to-women/637279/168 "2012-10-13T18:52:54Z")
> [@msmith537](#): > > I think I have to call bullshit. > > The consensus seems to be women don’t like guys who: > work out too much > show overt displays of wealth > party too much > smell like anything > dress too well, too plain or not well enough > spend time on their hair (or try to hide that they are losing their hair) > drive a sports car (especially convertible), truck or motorcycle > make any indication of how strong, tough, wealthy, successful, athletic or popular they are > isn’t a jock, guido, hipster, metrosexual, player, IT nerd > Conversely, that would presume the idea man for many of you is: > scrawny and weak or overweight > poor > nice (but not too nice)? > sober > bald > takes public transportation > humble > so sylistically neutral as to likely not be noticed > > Look, women clearly go for guys who are fit, good looking, rich, charming, successful, confident, and put together. They just don’t want the guy to LOOK like he spends a lot of time and effort being fit, good looking, rich, charming, successful, confident, and put together. Or even worse trying too hard and failing. Because then it’s not magical and romantic. It’s a carefully crafted marketing brand. > Plus if any of this were correct, The Situation wouldn’t have a job and every town between Sandy Hook and LBI would be very different on Friday and Saturday nights. There clearly is a large population of women who like the greased up meathead guido look. Coincidently, there is a strong overlap between that population and the population of girls who will get drunk and sleep with a guy they just met in a bar. That’s a good point, and it goes in the opposite direction too. A woman who looks like she spends too much time on herself (really fake tan, really ripped muscles, obviously dyed hair) is the same way. A woman who has to work hard to look good to the point you can tell she is working extremely hard to look good isn’t the same as one who seems to do it naturally. Plus you have to question the motives and personality of someone who places so much importance and value on the initial factors of attraction like appearance. Appearance gets you in the door, but in itself it won’t keep anyone there for long in and of itself. ---
**Author:** ![needscoffee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/needscoffee/32/1076_2.png) [@needscoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/needscoffee)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2012, 8:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-men-do-to-make-themselves-attractive-to-women-that-dont-make-them-attractive-to-women/637279/169 "2012-10-13T20:22:11Z")
> [@Wesley\_Clark](#): > > I play air guitar and air drums for one person, and that is me. In fact I make it a point to avoid eye contact when I am lost in my music, lest I get pulled out of the flow. You do it in public? ---
**Author:** ![Wesley\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wesley_clark/32/20581_2.png) [@Wesley\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wesley_Clark)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2012, 10:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-men-do-to-make-themselves-attractive-to-women-that-dont-make-them-attractive-to-women/637279/170 "2012-10-13T22:17:27Z")
> [@needscoffee](#): > > You do it in public? I try to. I really don’t like a lot of people, and if I can do anything moderately non-social to keep them off my back I do so. Air guitar is just the start. ---
**Author:** ![DigitalC](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ebca7d/32.png) [@DigitalC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DigitalC)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2012, 11:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-men-do-to-make-themselves-attractive-to-women-that-dont-make-them-attractive-to-women/637279/171 "2012-10-13T23:36:39Z")
> [@Zsofia](#): > > I can’t believe I forgot about dick pics! What is UP with that? Perfectly sane guy and all of a sudden “ping” “Oh look, a penis.” It’s very simple really. All guys would love getting random pictures of tits/ass/vag from girls they like, not all are smart enough to realize girls think differently. ---
**Author:** ![Wesley\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wesley_clark/32/20581_2.png) [@Wesley\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wesley_Clark)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2012, 2:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-men-do-to-make-themselves-attractive-to-women-that-dont-make-them-attractive-to-women/637279/172 "2012-10-14T02:10:07Z")
> [@DigitalC](#): > > It’s very simple really. All guys would love getting random pictures of tits/ass/vag from girls they like, not all are smart enough to realize girls think differently. Lol. Consider it the equivalent of a woman who can’t figure out why a guy doesn’t remember important anniversaries as much as she does. ---
**Author:** ![FordTaurusSHO94](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/f07891/32.png) [@FordTaurusSHO94](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FordTaurusSHO94)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2012, 2:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-men-do-to-make-themselves-attractive-to-women-that-dont-make-them-attractive-to-women/637279/173 "2012-10-14T02:18:18Z")
Lets see, I have 2 sports cars. One is a red convertible. I’ve also got a fast motorcycle. I workout several hours a week, so I’m in pretty good shape. I have several button down shirts that are nice and a few pairs of nice jeans. None of that is for women though. The exercise that I do is riding my bicycles, so I’ve got a cyclist’s body. Slender upper body and arms, chiseled legs. Since I can fit into nice clothes, I wear nice clothes when I go out. The second sports car is pretty much just a toy. I think my last girlfriend only rode in it once in the 6 months we were together. She did love it though, most people don’t get to ride in cars that fast too often. The other sports car is my daily driver. It’s fun and gets good mileage. All of it is for me. ---
**Author:** ![kittenblue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ba8739/32.png) [@kittenblue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kittenblue)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2012, 2:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-men-do-to-make-themselves-attractive-to-women-that-dont-make-them-attractive-to-women/637279/174 "2012-10-14T02:29:58Z")
> [@WhyNot](#): > > If I like to see your package unwrapped, I like to see it wrapped. In other words, if we’re already sleeping together (and by “sleeping together”, I mean having hot monkey sex, and by “hot monkey sex” I mean fucking) then sure, I like to see your bulge. If we’re not…eeewwww! Not only a turn-off, but a giggle inducing unrecoverable from turn off. This, exactly. ---
**Author:** ![needscoffee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/needscoffee/32/1076_2.png) [@needscoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/needscoffee)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2012, 3:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-men-do-to-make-themselves-attractive-to-women-that-dont-make-them-attractive-to-women/637279/175 "2012-10-14T03:21:56Z")
> [@Wesley\_Clark](#): > > I try to. I really don’t like a lot of people, and if I can do anything moderately non-social to keep them off my back I do so. Air guitar is just the start. So try adding bulging muscles and a combover, just to be sure. ---
**Author:** ![Lynn\_Bodoni](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e47c2d/32.png) [@Lynn\_Bodoni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lynn_Bodoni)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2012, 4:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-men-do-to-make-themselves-attractive-to-women-that-dont-make-them-attractive-to-women/637279/176 "2012-10-14T04:21:15Z")
> [@Wesley\_Clark](#): > > I try to. I really don’t like a lot of people, and if I can do anything moderately non-social to keep them off my back I do so. Air guitar is just the start. > [@needscoffee](#): > > So try adding bulging muscles and a combover, just to be sure. Don’t forget to bathe in Axe. No, no, that’s not right…here it is…use Axe INSTEAD OF bathing. ---
**Author:** ![carnut](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnut/32/3531_2.png) [@carnut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnut)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2012, 4:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-men-do-to-make-themselves-attractive-to-women-that-dont-make-them-attractive-to-women/637279/177 "2012-10-14T16:46:34Z")
Wesley Clark, Keep in mind that we each posted our personal dislikes. Not all of them match. I know what I like. But I don’t know what all the females on this board like. I do not speak for them. ---
**Author:** ![sisu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/df705f/32.png) [@sisu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sisu)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2012, 10:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-men-do-to-make-themselves-attractive-to-women-that-dont-make-them-attractive-to-women/637279/178 "2012-10-14T22:37:14Z")
> [@DigitalC](#): > > It’s very simple really. All guys would love getting random pictures of tits/ass/vag from girls they like, not all are smart enough to realize girls think differently. No I prefer to see them in real life, photos are not required and personally if you send that then you come across as a booty call and that is not attractive to me. ---
**Author:** ![Wesley\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wesley_clark/32/20581_2.png) [@Wesley\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wesley_Clark)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2012, 4:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-men-do-to-make-themselves-attractive-to-women-that-dont-make-them-attractive-to-women/637279/179 "2012-10-15T04:59:56Z")
Who do I speak to who speaks for all women then? Oprah isn’t responding to my emails anymore since I sent her that dick pic so I don’t know who is second on that list. ---
**Author:** ![saje](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/saje/32/3631_2.png) [@saje](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/saje)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2012, 6:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-men-do-to-make-themselves-attractive-to-women-that-dont-make-them-attractive-to-women/637279/180 "2012-10-15T18:15:21Z")
I thought of this thread today when a short, 50-ish dude with perfect hair and perfect teeth and his shirt open enough to show his gold chain told me I was a fine looking woman. I’d have taken the complement a bit more sincerely if he hadn’t been hoping I’d buy a 3k prefab shed from him 😛 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-men-do-to-make-themselves-attractive-to-women-that-dont-make-them-attractive-to-women/637279.md?page=8) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-men-do-to-make-themselves-attractive-to-women-that-dont-make-them-attractive-to-women/637279.md?page=10)