# Things Ninjas Don't Say **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [February 20, 2001, 12:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-ninjas-dont-say/55146 "2001-02-20T00:52:28Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![HalberMensch242](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ecb155/32.png) [@HalberMensch242](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HalberMensch242)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2001, 7:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-ninjas-dont-say/55146/21 "2001-02-20T07:34:58Z")
“So…hemmaroids aren’t necceserally a result of anal penetration?” “God…why can’t Rachel and Ross ever work it out…_sniff_?!” “Save me Jebus” “Yeah…it’s all true, we’re nothing but a bunch of dirty Magick Hippies” “Henderix RULEZZZ!!!” “DUDE…Magnolia was like…the deepest movie ever!” “So…you want a serloin and New York Strip?” “Arg…my lips are soo chapped” “My shorts dissolved in rectal mucus and carbolic soap. summer dawn smells from a vacant lot.” ---
**Author:** ![Snooooopy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ee7513/32.png) [@Snooooopy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snooooopy)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2001, 7:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-ninjas-dont-say/55146/22 "2001-02-20T07:49:10Z")
**Zenster** , I hate you. ---
**Author:** ![Amazing\_Tiki\_God](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/779978/32.png) [@Amazing\_Tiki\_God](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amazing_Tiki_God)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2001, 8:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-ninjas-dont-say/55146/23 "2001-02-20T08:46:28Z")
1. I desire to poop on you sneakily. 2. Are you sure we shoulda turned left back there? 3. Hi Opal 4. So this _isn’t_ Bangkok? 5. Oh yeah I did find those windshield wipers. Don’t ask what they were doing covered in KY Jelly and the fact that I had to steal them from your husband. Bastard. 6. I can’t believe it’s not butter! 7. Could’ya please pass the jelly? ---
**Author:** ![JDeMobray](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/85e7bf/32.png) [@JDeMobray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JDeMobray)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2001, 8:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-ninjas-dont-say/55146/24 "2001-02-20T08:56:59Z")
“Screw this one at a time s\*\*\*, let’s all rush him at once” “His name was Robert Paulsen!” “All this negativity sucks. It sucks, and it stinks, and it sucks.” “I’ve gotta go with _chocolat_ over _Crouching Tiger_, sorry” Beyond that, I don’t know, but I have it on good authority that Samurai do not watch television. ---
**Author:** ![Max\_the\_Immortal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/6de8d8/32.png) [@Max\_the\_Immortal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Max_the_Immortal)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2001, 9:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-ninjas-dont-say/55146/25 "2001-02-20T09:22:21Z")
“Ow! Papercut!” ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2001, 11:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-ninjas-dont-say/55146/26 "2001-02-20T11:48:24Z")
Oh, my god! Turn on the TV! _Neon Genesis Evangelion_ is on!!! ---
**Author:** ![Dragwyr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dragwyr/32/2855_2.png) [@Dragwyr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dragwyr)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2001, 12:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-ninjas-dont-say/55146/27 "2001-02-20T12:22:29Z")
I have an opportunity for you to own your own business and become financially independant within one month. By plugging into this proven “system” you can establish a downline of 20 people, all of whom will litterally be throwing money at you… you will go Diamond within 3 weeks. ---
**Author:** ![TwistofFate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/cdc98d/32.png) [@TwistofFate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TwistofFate)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2001, 12:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-ninjas-dont-say/55146/28 "2001-02-20T12:27:57Z")
“Look at all the great deals and big savings you can make today with Amway!!!” “Yes Operator, I would be interested in switching to AT&T long distance” Ohh!! a Kitty!! Miaow! Miaow! kitty! good kitty! ---
**Author:** ![ChiefScott](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/58f4c7/32.png) [@ChiefScott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ChiefScott)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2001, 12:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-ninjas-dont-say/55146/29 "2001-02-20T12:32:34Z")
So this one time… in Ninja Camp… ---
**Author:** ![Tommy\_the\_Cat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/74df32/32.png) [@Tommy\_the\_Cat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tommy_the_Cat)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2001, 2:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-ninjas-dont-say/55146/30 "2001-02-20T14:00:58Z")
I Pity Tha Fool! ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2001, 2:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-ninjas-dont-say/55146/31 "2001-02-20T14:05:26Z")
“Nice ass. SHAME I HAVE TO WHOOP IT!” Don’t blame me— [http://www.sinfest.com](http://www.sinfest.com) said it. ---
**Author:** ![Balance](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ccd318/32.png) [@Balance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Balance)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2001, 2:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-ninjas-dont-say/55146/32 "2001-02-20T14:42:46Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Pyrrho12 \* > [li]You have failed us for the last time, Regis Philbin…[/li] Please, oh _please_ let one of them say this… “Oops.” “Waitaminute…twist it this way, then pull…no…the other way, maybe…how the HELL do you get this shuriken off this sheath, anyway?!” “Moshimoshi, Nyuuhakushoku.” ---
**Author:** ![Munch](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/munch/32/5281_2.png) [@Munch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Munch)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2001, 3:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-ninjas-dont-say/55146/33 "2001-02-20T15:12:15Z")
All your base are belong to us. ---
**Author:** ![Simetra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/278dde/32.png) [@Simetra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Simetra)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2001, 3:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-ninjas-dont-say/55146/34 "2001-02-20T15:42:32Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Connor \* > \*\*All your base are belong to us. \*\* Well, someone was bound to bring that up eventually. 😃 Let’s see: _You are not worthy of Green Destiny._ ((No wait, they did say that.)) How’s about: _Well, slap my ass and call me Spanky, that’s a big damn sword._ _Suuuuuey! I swanny, that thar flip done scared the pis-fire outta me._ ((Add any southern/redneck-ism here)) 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Cynical](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ee59a6/32.png) [@Mr.Cynical](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Cynical)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2001, 3:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-ninjas-dont-say/55146/35 "2001-02-20T15:47:14Z")
I couldn’t even begin to kill you before my nails dry, so run along now. ---
**Author:** ![SuperNova](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ea666f/32.png) [@SuperNova](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SuperNova)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2001, 4:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-ninjas-dont-say/55146/36 "2001-02-20T16:54:35Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Mr. Cynical \* > \*\*I couldn’t even begin to kill you before my nails dry, so run along now. \*\* What, I’m not that important? ---
**Author:** ![Inky\_1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/7feea3/32.png) [@Inky\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inky_1)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2001, 5:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-ninjas-dont-say/55146/37 "2001-02-20T17:30:26Z")
…and I didn’t even _realize_ that I’d left a whole pocketful of shuriken in my pocket until the rinse cycle kicked in, and by that time my brand new gei was ruined. …so, using the deadly secret of _Shenju Death Hand_ I reached into her chest, ripped out her still-beating heart and showed it to her. And do you know what that little bitch did! With her last breath she just rolled her eyes and said “I’m sorry _sir_, but without a recipt I can only give store credit”. All your base are belong to us! ---
**Author:** ![Protesilaus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/82dd89/32.png) [@Protesilaus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Protesilaus)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2001, 5:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-ninjas-dont-say/55146/38 "2001-02-20T17:36:00Z")
“Maaaaaaaster, Tokahiro’s making fun of meeeeee!” “I am Spartacus!” “Hey, is anyone taping Buffy tonight?” “Dude, where’s my car?” “You go, girl!” ---
**Author:** ![inor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/f475e1/32.png) [@inor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/inor)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2001, 5:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-ninjas-dont-say/55146/39 "2001-02-20T17:42:52Z")
owee Hey, I gotta poop {sub]god I hate these suits[/sub] I’m tellin Yer not the boss of me God, these acid flashbacks are really screwing with my technique. so, I’m taking this home course on locksmithing…? Would you jsut look at this suit? I’m gonna _kill_ that damn cat! No, it’s _my_ turn to dry, I washed last night. Owow owow- Who used all the hot water!!!? Dudes- sorry I’m late. The Lexus broke down. So I’m thinking of joining this one health club? I mean, I’m _sooooo_ out of shape, y’know? Plus, babes! _whispering_ hee hee, shuro just farted hee hee _throws up hands in a surrender gesture_ That’s it, I’m jsut gonna walk away! I’ll come back when I’ve cooled off! Do you think this eyeliner is _my_ color? [Righteous bros voice] You’ve lost that LOOOoovin feelin, now it’s gone, gone, gone oOoho [/voice] I’m goin to Kmart- anybody need anything? ---
**Author:** ![TPWombat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bbce88/32.png) [@TPWombat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TPWombat)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2001, 6:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-ninjas-dont-say/55146/40 "2001-02-20T18:01:22Z")
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