# Things not to do when you're trying to write a paper... **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [June 19, 2003, 11:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-not-to-do-when-youre-trying-to-write-a-paper/183044 "2003-06-19T23:54:40Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 12\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Lsura](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7993a0/32.png) [@Lsura](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lsura)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2003, 11:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-not-to-do-when-youre-trying-to-write-a-paper/183044/1 "2003-06-19T23:54:40Z")
1. Go to two different grocery stores 2. Decide to cook enough to have leftovers available all weekend. Especially if it’s some complicated dish. 3. Call your mother - what any other day would be 10 minutes turns into 45. 4. Drink. Although the state I’m in right now (mildly buzzed) might make this paper go every so much faster. I just better proofread carefully! 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![TheOnlySaneOne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/67e7ee/32.png) [@TheOnlySaneOne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TheOnlySaneOne)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2003, 12:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-not-to-do-when-youre-trying-to-write-a-paper/183044/2 "2003-06-20T00:41:14Z")
1. In any way, shape, or form visit the Boards. Just checking up on one thread turns into go through each and every board carefully. ---
**Author:** ![capybara](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/capybara/32/202_2.png) [@capybara](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/capybara)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2003, 1:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-not-to-do-when-youre-trying-to-write-a-paper/183044/3 "2003-06-20T01:59:29Z")
You’re DOOMED! Heh. If you’re writing from notes or books put in a citation immediately, especially if you’re buzzed, or you’ll never find your source again with your morning hangover and you’ll forget about it and get busted for plagiarism and have to commit hara-kiri. SPEW SPEW SPEW! NOW (in writing, that is): Write through it while you’re feeling sloppy and talkative, then do damage control tomorrow to make everything full sentences and such. OR for the moment skip all your evidence and just spew out your logical argument with clever transitional sentences and such. Then fix it later. Drunk writing CAN be constructive. When’s it due? ---
**Author:** ![BadBaby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/71c47a/32.png) [@BadBaby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BadBaby)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2003, 2:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-not-to-do-when-youre-trying-to-write-a-paper/183044/4 "2003-06-20T02:25:56Z")
Don’t start cleaning the hall closet, that’s for sure. And if you must clean the hall closet, don’t look in the photo albums and scrap books. And if you look in the scrap books, don’t start thinking how you really should try out that new scrapbooking stuff you were given. Really, my life is a lot like that book _If You Give a Mouse a Cookie._ ---
**Author:** ![chula](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a4c791/32.png) [@chula](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chula)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2003, 2:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-not-to-do-when-youre-trying-to-write-a-paper/183044/5 "2003-06-20T02:40:44Z")
I got a pet turtle and became obsessed with him. That was two weeks ago, and I finished my last paper a week ago. I’ve written way too many long, in-depth research papers lately, and my advice is the same as **capybara** ’s - spew. Write anything - it’s probably a lot better than you imagine. ---
**Author:** ![SuperNova](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ea666f/32.png) [@SuperNova](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SuperNova)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2003, 2:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-not-to-do-when-youre-trying-to-write-a-paper/183044/6 "2003-06-20T02:47:19Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by TheOnlySaneOne \* > \*\*5. In any way, shape, or form visit the Boards. Just checking up on one thread turns into go through each and every board carefully. \*\* Yeah… :smack: ::Grumbles and goes off to finish writing:: ---
**Author:** ![Cyberhwk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7993a0/32.png) [@Cyberhwk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cyberhwk)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2003, 7:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-not-to-do-when-youre-trying-to-write-a-paper/183044/7 "2003-06-20T07:45:33Z")
Internet flash games. ---
**Author:** ![friedo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/8edcca/32.png) [@friedo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/friedo)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2003, 7:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-not-to-do-when-youre-trying-to-write-a-paper/183044/8 "2003-06-20T07:53:59Z")
One time I realized I had a paper due the next day after I had been out drinking. I sat down at my computer and promptly barfed all over the keyboard. So I wrote the paper on my roommate’s computer instead. ---
**Author:** ![Lsura](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7993a0/32.png) [@Lsura](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lsura)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2003, 12:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-not-to-do-when-youre-trying-to-write-a-paper/183044/9 "2003-06-20T12:32:49Z")
Well, I went from 6 pages to 10 last night, and still have a fairly big section to do tomorrow…This afternoon (after work) I’ll re-read what I wrote last night and hope it makes sense. No worries on the citations, **capybara** , as I already had pages of notes from the readings, marked with the page number and source title so I can identify them again. I don’t mess around with citations. ---
**Author:** ![Rudy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/5fc32e/32.png) [@Rudy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rudy)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2003, 12:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-not-to-do-when-youre-trying-to-write-a-paper/183044/10 "2003-06-20T12:34:51Z")
Start anytime after 9:00 PM (Lord knows I have wrote enough papers where I ended up going to bed at 3:00, only to wake up at 6:00 to make a desparate effort to finish) ---
**Author:** ![ElwoodCuse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/edb3f5/32.png) [@ElwoodCuse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElwoodCuse)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2003, 3:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-not-to-do-when-youre-trying-to-write-a-paper/183044/11 "2003-06-20T15:37:05Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Rudy \* > \*\*Start anytime after 9:00 PM (Lord knows I have wrote enough papers where I ended up going to bed at 3:00, only to wake up at 6:00 to make a desparate effort to finish) \*\* I was out until 5 am celebrating Syracuse winning the national title. I woke up at 3 pm the next day, completely ruining my sleep schedule. I wrote 2 previously researched but unwritten “A” papers between, oh, midnight and 6 am. ---
**Author:** ![Winnie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e480ec/32.png) [@Winnie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Winnie)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2003, 5:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-not-to-do-when-youre-trying-to-write-a-paper/183044/12 "2003-06-20T17:55:51Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Lsura \* > \*\*4. Drink. Although the state I’m in right now (mildly buzzed) might make this paper go every so much faster. I just better proofread carefully! 🙂 \*\* Especially homemade Kahlua. My mom and I made a batch some years ago and after drinking a glass of it I sat down to write a paper. The caffeine buzz got me first, making me all jittery and wigged out, writing anything that came to my mind. Then the alcohol kicked in and I got all sluggish and depressed. That was one baaaad paper I ended up with.