# Things not to say during a break-up conversation **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 3, 2010, 9:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-not-to-say-during-a-break-up-conversation/545460 "2010-07-03T21:48:04Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![sleeping](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/839c29/32.png) [@sleeping](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sleeping)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2010, 9:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-not-to-say-during-a-break-up-conversation/545460/1 "2010-07-03T21:48:04Z")
“Okay, so…do you have a sister?” [/brother] “No, I think you’re absolutely right that we shouldn’t see each other anymore. _That’s_ why I brought out the paper bag during sex.” “Alright, just calm down. I’ll put on my robe and wizard hat…”\* - (Obligatory.) ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2010, 10:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-not-to-say-during-a-break-up-conversation/545460/2 "2010-07-03T22:01:59Z")
“On a completely unrelated topic, if the cops come by any time in thenear futre, can you tell me you were with me last night?” ---
**Author:** ![Alice\_The\_Goon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ed8c4c/32.png) [@Alice\_The\_Goon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alice_The_Goon)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2010, 10:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-not-to-say-during-a-break-up-conversation/545460/3 "2010-07-03T22:08:17Z")
Can I still come over? ---
**Author:** ![Superhal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Superhal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superhal)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2010, 11:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-not-to-say-during-a-break-up-conversation/545460/4 "2010-07-03T23:02:41Z")
“As long as we’re being completely honest, I just wanted to say your pussy hygiene is reprehensible and I want to vomit every time I get near it.”\* “I met someone online I’m pretty sure is female.” “You’ve turned me gay, what can I say?” “I just can’t stay with someone who refuses to do anal.” ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2010, 11:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-not-to-say-during-a-break-up-conversation/545460/5 "2010-07-03T23:07:01Z")
I’d like us to still be friends. ---
**Author:** ![KinkiNipponTourist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e9bcb4/32.png) [@KinkiNipponTourist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KinkiNipponTourist)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2010, 11:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-not-to-say-during-a-break-up-conversation/545460/6 "2010-07-03T23:11:30Z")
“It’s not me, it’s you.” ---
**Author:** ![willthekittensurvive](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/91b2a8/32.png) [@willthekittensurvive](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/willthekittensurvive)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2010, 11:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-not-to-say-during-a-break-up-conversation/545460/7 "2010-07-03T23:27:57Z")
“but we can still be friends with benefits” “but if you would consider a sexchange…” “I’m imaginary” “you those breast implants I bought you?I will be waning them back” “and all times I said you did not look fat in those pants, I was lying” “would you please sign this release form for our home movies” ---
**Author:** ![Superhal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Superhal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superhal)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2010, 11:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-not-to-say-during-a-break-up-conversation/545460/8 "2010-07-03T23:35:45Z")
“If you decide to go psycho on me, I just have one thing to say to you: [exgirlfriendrevenge.com](http://exgirlfriendrevenge.com)” “So Star Wars quotes and Spock ears aren’t funny anymore, are they.” “I’ve decided to break up with you in the form of a LOLcat: Itty Bitty IHATEYOUYOUPSYCHOHOSEBEAST committee. Enjoy the picture.” \*(forgot to post this in my post above) Actually a true story. ---
**Author:** ![alice\_in\_wonderland](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alice_in_wonderland/32/176_2.png) [@alice\_in\_wonderland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alice_in_wonderland)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2010, 12:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-not-to-say-during-a-break-up-conversation/545460/9 "2010-07-04T00:03:27Z")
“I guess I should tell you about this weird rash now…” ---
**Author:** ![sleeping](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/839c29/32.png) [@sleeping](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sleeping)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2010, 12:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-not-to-say-during-a-break-up-conversation/545460/10 "2010-07-04T00:34:10Z")
“Fine, but I want my favorite condom back.” ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2010, 1:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-not-to-say-during-a-break-up-conversation/545460/11 "2010-07-04T01:29:24Z")
I can’t afford you AND heroin. I choose heroin. ---
**Author:** ![willthekittensurvive](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/91b2a8/32.png) [@willthekittensurvive](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/willthekittensurvive)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2010, 7:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-not-to-say-during-a-break-up-conversation/545460/12 "2010-07-05T07:04:22Z")
could you please burst out in tears again?I wasn’t ready with the camcorder, and I need it for my blog ---
**Author:** ![flodnak](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/838e76/32.png) [@flodnak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flodnak)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2010, 12:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-not-to-say-during-a-break-up-conversation/545460/13 "2010-07-05T12:27:26Z")
By the way, your new co-worker, the one who started last month? I don’t suppose you have her cell phone number? ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2010, 12:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-not-to-say-during-a-break-up-conversation/545460/14 "2010-07-05T12:54:44Z")
> [@Cat\_Whisperer](#): > > I’d like us to still be friends. Hey, the last time I broke up with someone, we both said that. We also said “I’ll always love you.” Then we made out for ten minutes. What I failed to say was “That girl over there is cute. I wonder if she’s single.” ---
**Author:** ![Mona\_Lisa\_Simpson](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ce7236/32.png) [@Mona\_Lisa\_Simpson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mona_Lisa_Simpson)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2010, 1:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-not-to-say-during-a-break-up-conversation/545460/15 "2010-07-05T13:10:38Z")
Your house, your clothes and your cars all smell like ferret. And you need to take better care of your feet. (True story, but for some reason he didn’t take it well. It had started out as a “its just not working for me” kind of break up but after too many "why?"s and tears it ended up with ferrets and his ugly toenails.) ---
**Author:** ![willthekittensurvive](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/91b2a8/32.png) [@willthekittensurvive](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/willthekittensurvive)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2010, 1:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-not-to-say-during-a-break-up-conversation/545460/16 "2010-07-05T13:40:00Z")
Meet Jane she is exactly like you, only a lot younger ---
**Author:** ![RealityChuck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/realitychuck/32/195_2.png) [@RealityChuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RealityChuck)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2010, 2:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-not-to-say-during-a-break-up-conversation/545460/17 "2010-07-05T14:26:34Z")
“You see, size _does_ matter.” ---
**Author:** ![eleanorigby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee7513/32.png) [@eleanorigby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eleanorigby)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2010, 2:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-not-to-say-during-a-break-up-conversation/545460/18 "2010-07-05T14:50:30Z")
“But, Mom, you said she would stay!” ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2010, 6:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-not-to-say-during-a-break-up-conversation/545460/19 "2010-07-05T18:01:08Z")
> [@RealityChuck](#): > > “You see, size _does_ matter.” “It’s NOT that common, it DOESN’T happen to every guy, and it IS a big deal!” 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Sticks\_and\_Scones](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sticks_and_scones/32/16951_2.png) [@Sticks\_and\_Scones](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sticks_and_Scones)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2010, 8:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-not-to-say-during-a-break-up-conversation/545460/20 "2010-07-05T20:16:09Z")
“Sorry, I think I’d rather be a Buddhist monk than get married.” True story! What do I win??? [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-not-to-say-during-a-break-up-conversation/545460.md?page=2)