# Things not to say during a break-up conversation **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 3, 2010, 9:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-not-to-say-during-a-break-up-conversation/545460 "2010-07-03T21:48:04Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Grrr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grrr/32/146_2.png) [@Grrr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grrr)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2010, 9:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-not-to-say-during-a-break-up-conversation/545460/21 "2010-07-05T21:07:49Z")
> [@Cat\_Whisperer](#): > > “It’s NOT that common, it DOESN’T happen to every guy, and it IS a big deal!” 😃 I KNEW IT!! :mad: Dear loser: Welcome to dumpsville. Population: you. PS. I am gay. ---
**Author:** ![Man\_With\_a\_Cat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/cab0a1/32.png) [@Man\_With\_a\_Cat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Man_With_a_Cat)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2010, 9:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-not-to-say-during-a-break-up-conversation/545460/22 "2010-07-05T21:20:16Z")
It’s called toothpaste, give it a shot. My friends all thought you were a guy anyway. ---
**Author:** ![Superhal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Superhal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superhal)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2010, 9:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-not-to-say-during-a-break-up-conversation/545460/23 "2010-07-05T21:53:21Z")
You know “our song?” Who the hell likes Michael Bolton? I found someone willing to make my lifelong dream of being a bukake artist a reality. I’m sorry, but you look too much like the brunette in 2girls1cup. So what if you’re pregnant? Why is everything always about you? I’ve put up with your incessant nagging, your refusal to have sex, your disgusting cooking, your expanding ass, and your freeloading family…but deleting my WoW account was the straw that broke the camel’s back. ---
**Author:** ![willthekittensurvive](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/91b2a8/32.png) [@willthekittensurvive](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/willthekittensurvive)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2010, 6:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-not-to-say-during-a-break-up-conversation/545460/24 "2010-07-06T06:16:38Z")
Sorry after we did that thing I’ve been bugging you for years to do, I feel I can not respect you anymore ---
**Author:** ![Wesley\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wesley_clark/32/20581_2.png) [@Wesley\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wesley_Clark)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2010, 6:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-not-to-say-during-a-break-up-conversation/545460/25 "2010-07-06T06:32:00Z")
If you looked like your sister maybe we wouldn’t be having this conversation. ---
**Author:** ![Superhal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Superhal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superhal)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2010, 11:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-not-to-say-during-a-break-up-conversation/545460/26 "2010-07-06T11:50:09Z")
Your mismatched tits are driving me insane. I can fit my entire body through one leg of your jeans. You didn’t let go of my Eggo. ---
**Author:** ![Serenata67](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/serenata67/32/10646_2.png) [@Serenata67](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Serenata67)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2010, 11:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-not-to-say-during-a-break-up-conversation/545460/27 "2010-07-06T11:56:40Z")
Well, if you hadn’t gotten so damned fat… (after putting on 5lbs) Can I still live here? ---
**Author:** ![willthekittensurvive](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/91b2a8/32.png) [@willthekittensurvive](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/willthekittensurvive)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2010, 11:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-not-to-say-during-a-break-up-conversation/545460/28 "2010-07-06T11:59:56Z")
> [@Serenata67](#): > > Can I still live here? with Jane?(the new you, only thinner) ---
**Author:** ![Superhal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Superhal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superhal)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2010, 12:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-not-to-say-during-a-break-up-conversation/545460/29 "2010-07-06T12:17:04Z")
You’ve eaten all the Twizzlers for the last time. It’s not you, it’s me. _sniggle_ Nah, that’s bullshit, it _was_ you. Remember how we promised that if neither of us found anybody when we were 30, we’d marry? God, you’ve let yourself go. ---
**Author:** ![Serenata67](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/serenata67/32/10646_2.png) [@Serenata67](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Serenata67)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2010, 12:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-not-to-say-during-a-break-up-conversation/545460/30 "2010-07-06T12:31:15Z")
> [@willthekittensurvive](#): > > with Jane?(the new you, only thinner) It actually happened to me… my ex owed me money and wanted to live on my couch until he earned the money he owed me… it was messed up. ---
**Author:** ![apollonia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/2bfe46/32.png) [@apollonia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/apollonia)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2010, 3:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-not-to-say-during-a-break-up-conversation/545460/31 "2010-07-06T15:09:22Z")
Huh. Having been on the receiving end of many of these comments, I concur. Also: “Let’s not tell anyone about this, because it would be really uncomfortable for me for everyone to know I broke up with you” and “Cool. Do you know of an STD clinic around here?” ---
**Author:** ![Cuckoorex](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ad7895/32.png) [@Cuckoorex](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cuckoorex)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2010, 3:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-not-to-say-during-a-break-up-conversation/545460/32 "2010-07-06T15:12:13Z")
It was the cats. Blame the cats. ---
**Author:** ![Duke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e8c25b/32.png) [@Duke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duke)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2010, 3:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-not-to-say-during-a-break-up-conversation/545460/33 "2010-07-06T15:14:19Z")
A female friend of mine got a real winner of a breakup. The gist of the conversation was: “I don’t want to see you any more, but the sex was great. Maybe we could still fuck once in a while.” ---
**Author:** ![Cuckoorex](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ad7895/32.png) [@Cuckoorex](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cuckoorex)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2010, 3:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-not-to-say-during-a-break-up-conversation/545460/34 "2010-07-06T15:19:45Z")
> [@Duke](#): > > A female friend of mine got a real winner of a breakup. The gist of the conversation was: > > “I don’t want to see you any more, but the sex was great. Maybe we could still fuck once in a while.” That’s surprisingly common. ---
**Author:** ![Duke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e8c25b/32.png) [@Duke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duke)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2010, 7:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-not-to-say-during-a-break-up-conversation/545460/35 "2010-07-06T19:15:41Z")
> [@Cuckoorex](#): > > That’s surprisingly common. Usually most people are a little more subtle, and don’t actually use the word “fuck” in the breakup conversation. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2010, 7:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-not-to-say-during-a-break-up-conversation/545460/36 "2010-07-06T19:34:39Z")
The facts that you’re pregnant and I’m leaving the state but I don’t know where yet so I can’t give you a forwarding address are entirely coincidental. ---
**Author:** ![GrandWino](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grandwino/32/67_2.png) [@GrandWino](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GrandWino)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2010, 7:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-not-to-say-during-a-break-up-conversation/545460/37 "2010-07-06T19:36:36Z")
Everyone on Straight Dope said I should break up with you. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2010, 7:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-not-to-say-during-a-break-up-conversation/545460/38 "2010-07-06T19:48:27Z")
I can’t date you anymore because I’ve run out of rufies. I’m pretty sure you won’t like it when you start remembering the things I do when we go out. ---
**Author:** ![KneadToKnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kneadtoknow/32/3999_2.png) [@KneadToKnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KneadToKnow)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2010, 7:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-not-to-say-during-a-break-up-conversation/545460/39 "2010-07-06T19:50:55Z")
(stolen shamelessly from Richard Pryor) **He** I don’t need you. I’m gonna find some _new pussy_. **She** If you had two more inches of dick, you’d find some new pussy _here_. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2010, 8:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-not-to-say-during-a-break-up-conversation/545460/40 "2010-07-06T20:14:28Z")
Also from Richard Pryor: Man (crying in anguish): Okay, _take_ the damn TV, just _leave the pussy_! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-not-to-say-during-a-break-up-conversation/545460.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-not-to-say-during-a-break-up-conversation/545460.md?page=3)