# Things not to say during a break-up conversation **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 3, 2010, 9:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-not-to-say-during-a-break-up-conversation/545460 "2010-07-03T21:48:04Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 7\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Perciful](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/b38774/32.png) [@Perciful](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Perciful)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2010, 1:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-not-to-say-during-a-break-up-conversation/545460/61 "2010-07-27T13:36:00Z")
Since I stopped drinking we don’t have anything in common anymore… ---
**Author:** ![wonky](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wonky/32/393_2.png) [@wonky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonky)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2010, 4:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-not-to-say-during-a-break-up-conversation/545460/62 "2010-07-27T16:01:56Z")
True one (not said to or by me, thankfully): “If you give me a friendly divorce, maybe I’ll come back to you eventually!” ---
**Author:** ![The\_Bith\_Shuffle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ce73a5/32.png) [@The\_Bith\_Shuffle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Bith_Shuffle)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2010, 4:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-not-to-say-during-a-break-up-conversation/545460/63 "2010-07-27T16:13:45Z")
‘I repeated, the woman I have been loving is not you.’ ‘But who?’ ‘Another woman in your shape.’ - _Tess of the D’Urbervilles_ ---
**Author:** ![Hypno-Toad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b2d939/32.png) [@Hypno-Toad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hypno-Toad)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2010, 5:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-not-to-say-during-a-break-up-conversation/545460/64 "2010-07-27T17:48:20Z")
“Your Tits:Psycho ratio reversed” ---
**Author:** ![Wendell\_Wagner](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/8491ac/32.png) [@Wendell\_Wagner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wendell_Wagner)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2010, 12:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-not-to-say-during-a-break-up-conversation/545460/65 "2010-07-28T00:54:51Z")
“But now that we’ve broken up, could you arrange a date for me with your mother? She’s hot!” “My new girlfriend says that it’s all right if you and I still have sex, but no more than once a week. How do Saturday afternoons look for you?” “I’m sorry, but did you have the impression that we were dating? I thought of you as a one-night-stand that refused to go away.” “I don’t think you’re woman enough for me. Maybe you and your best friend together though.” “Since your identical twin is genetically identical to you, it won’t really even be breaking up exactly, just switching to another copy.” ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2010, 1:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-not-to-say-during-a-break-up-conversation/545460/66 "2010-07-28T01:08:23Z")
> [@Perciful](#): > > Since I stopped drinking we don’t have anything in common anymore… You don’t look nearly so hot when I’m sober. Since you’ve stopped drinking, you’re boring, and not nearly so much the slut I’ve always hoped for. ---
**Author:** ![Perciful](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/b38774/32.png) [@Perciful](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Perciful)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2010, 1:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-not-to-say-during-a-break-up-conversation/545460/67 "2010-07-28T01:34:51Z")
“No, seriously, I thought you were a man the whole time we were dating.” “If I have to sell my body to get the money to divorce you, I will!” “Remember when I asked you out?? Well… I was talking to the guy behind you”! “Don’t you just love when leeches get into your pants”? “You know, if God actually stopped and thought about it, I’m pretty sure he could think of something better to do with skin rather than hold your sorry ass together” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-not-to-say-during-a-break-up-conversation/545460.md?page=3)