# Things NOT to say during sex
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-not-to-say-during-sex/734896
**Category:** Thread Games
**Created:** [October 17, 2015, 2:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-not-to-say-during-sex/734896 "2015-10-17T14:09:11Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 1
### Author:  [@FXMastermind](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FXMastermind)
#### Post date: [October 17, 2015, 2:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-not-to-say-during-sex/734896/1 "2015-10-17T14:09:11Z")
This time I want to be the woman
Have you accepted Jesus yet?
Whats that awful smell?
etc etc
I started this topic on another forum, 15 years ago. The topic is still going, with over 5000 unique replies. The inspiration [was this page](http://www.skypoint.com/members/camilian/humor/101sex.shtml), which is amazingly still there, exactly the same. If I had the time and energy, I would make a page with all 5,344 responses from the other topic. These include over 4000 disgusting yet funny one liners, multiple paragraph responses, and some really funny shit. I don’t go to the other forum much anymore, but it used to be a daily stop. The forum does not show up on Google, which is good, as it is an uncensored forum, almost anything goes, but a source will be provided upon request, if you doubt this is true, which it is, now stop reading and post something.
---
### Author:  [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)
#### Post date: [October 17, 2015, 2:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-not-to-say-during-sex/734896/2 "2015-10-17T14:10:35Z")
You do that almost as well as your sister does.
---
### Author:  [@FXMastermind](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FXMastermind)
#### Post date: [October 17, 2015, 2:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-not-to-say-during-sex/734896/3 "2015-10-17T14:11:22Z")
Oh, I have to take this call. You go on without me.
---
### Author:  [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)
#### Post date: [October 17, 2015, 2:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-not-to-say-during-sex/734896/4 "2015-10-17T14:31:36Z")
Did you know Ebola sometimes stays in the body for months after?
---
### Author:  [@DinoR](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DinoR)
#### Post date: [October 17, 2015, 2:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-not-to-say-during-sex/734896/5 "2015-10-17T14:34:22Z")
When’s your mom coming to visit again?
---
### Author:  [@TheSpeculationElucidation](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TheSpeculationElucidation)
#### Post date: [October 17, 2015, 2:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-not-to-say-during-sex/734896/6 "2015-10-17T14:34:39Z")
What do you think about babies?
---
### Author:  [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)
#### Post date: [October 17, 2015, 2:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-not-to-say-during-sex/734896/7 "2015-10-17T14:46:58Z")
I’ve had better.
---
### Author:  [@FXMastermind](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FXMastermind)
#### Post date: [October 17, 2015, 2:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-not-to-say-during-sex/734896/8 "2015-10-17T14:47:07Z")
[You want to do WHAT?!](http://www.womenshealthmag.com/sex-and-love/never-ever-say-this-during-sex)
---
### Author:  [@WF\_Tomba](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WF_Tomba)
#### Post date: [October 17, 2015, 2:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-not-to-say-during-sex/734896/9 "2015-10-17T14:48:44Z")
Huh. I’ve never seen one like that before.
---
### Author:  [@FXMastermind](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FXMastermind)
#### Post date: [October 17, 2015, 2:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-not-to-say-during-sex/734896/10 "2015-10-17T14:50:32Z")
You used to last a lot longer
---
### Author:  [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)
#### Post date: [October 17, 2015, 2:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-not-to-say-during-sex/734896/11 "2015-10-17T14:53:08Z")
Was that supposed to come off?
---
### Author:  [@WF\_Tomba](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WF_Tomba)
#### Post date: [October 17, 2015, 2:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-not-to-say-during-sex/734896/12 "2015-10-17T14:53:29Z")
Ow! Damn spiders.
---
### Author:  [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)
#### Post date: [October 17, 2015, 3:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-not-to-say-during-sex/734896/13 "2015-10-17T15:36:21Z")
My imaginary friend wants to know if you’re into threesomes.
---
### Author:  [@Grrr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grrr)
#### Post date: [October 17, 2015, 4:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-not-to-say-during-sex/734896/14 "2015-10-17T16:30:34Z")
> [@DinoR](#):
>
> When’s your mom coming to visit again?
Eh, I don’t know. When I was married we would talk about mundane shit all the time during sex. Including stuff like: “Who’s going to pick the kids up from school?” , “Did you take the chicken out of the freezer to thaw?”, “What’s on TV tonight?”
Bonus points for actually watching TV during sex. 😃
---
### Author:  [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)
#### Post date: [October 17, 2015, 4:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-not-to-say-during-sex/734896/15 "2015-10-17T16:39:08Z")
> [@Grrr](#):
>
> Eh, I don’t know. When I was married we would talk about mundane shit all the time during sex. Including stuff like: “Who’s going to pick the kids up from school?” , “Did you take the chicken out of the freezer to thaw?”, “What’s on TV tonight?”
>
> **Bonus points for actually watching TV during sex.** 😃
Isn’t that where the MILILF porn is?
---
### Author:  [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)
#### Post date: [October 17, 2015, 5:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-not-to-say-during-sex/734896/16 "2015-10-17T17:53:06Z")
The classic “That looks like a penis, only smaller.”
---
### Author:  [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)
#### Post date: [October 17, 2015, 7:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-not-to-say-during-sex/734896/17 "2015-10-17T19:18:00Z")
“Um, you wouldn’t happen to be into unexpected scat-play, would you?”
---
### Author:  [@FXMastermind](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FXMastermind)
#### Post date: [October 17, 2015, 7:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-not-to-say-during-sex/734896/18 "2015-10-17T19:23:27Z")
Cleveland steamers for everyone!
---
### Author:  [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)
#### Post date: [October 17, 2015, 7:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-not-to-say-during-sex/734896/19 "2015-10-17T19:25:22Z")
> [@WF\_Tomba](#):
>
> Huh. I’ve never seen one like that before.
> [@Annie-Xmas](#):
>
> The classic “That looks like a penis, only smaller.”
OMG, were you in an accident?
---
### Author:  [@Mikeisskeptical](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mikeisskeptical)
#### Post date: [October 17, 2015, 10:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-not-to-say-during-sex/734896/20 "2015-10-17T22:44:56Z")
Oh yeah, just like that. Oh that feels so good. Oh yes! Oh yes! Yes! Yes grandma, yes!
[Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-not-to-say-during-sex/734896.md?page=2)