# Things NOT to say during sex **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [October 17, 2015, 2:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-not-to-say-during-sex/734896 "2015-10-17T14:09:11Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Ike\_Witt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ike_witt/32/283_2.png) [@Ike\_Witt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ike_Witt)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2015, 10:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-not-to-say-during-sex/734896/21 "2015-10-17T22:58:01Z")
I win! ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2015, 11:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-not-to-say-during-sex/734896/22 "2015-10-17T23:00:43Z")
“Is that a leg?”\* One from real life: my husband may be the only man to call me by his ex-wife’s name during the act and live to tell the tale. I thought it was hilarious. He was _mortified_. Hey, there wasn’t much blood left in his brain at that moment. 😃 \*Please please please tell me I’m not the only old fogey here to remember where that came from! ---
**Author:** ![ekedolphin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ekedolphin/32/10003_2.png) [@ekedolphin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ekedolphin)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2015, 2:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-not-to-say-during-sex/734896/23 "2015-10-18T02:42:40Z")
“Happy birthday, Grandma!” (Borrowed that one from the Questionable Content webcomic.) ---
**Author:** ![Ambivalid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a5b964/32.png) [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2015, 3:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-not-to-say-during-sex/734896/24 "2015-10-18T03:00:32Z")
"Oh, uh, this? This thing here is a stoma. Go ahead, give it a poke. " ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2015, 3:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-not-to-say-during-sex/734896/25 "2015-10-18T03:06:00Z")
> [@Annie-Xmas](#): > > The classic “That looks like a penis, only smaller.” That looks like a vagina only larger…arger…arger…arger ---
**Author:** ![AHunter3](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ahunter3/32/368_2.png) [@AHunter3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AHunter3)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2015, 3:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-not-to-say-during-sex/734896/26 "2015-10-18T03:24:18Z")
> [@FXMastermind](#): > > This time I want to be the woman I always say that part before sex starts, not during. ---
**Author:** ![astorian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ad7895/32.png) [@astorian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astorian)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2015, 8:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-not-to-say-during-sex/734896/27 "2015-10-18T20:34:10Z")
Yeah, I’m pretty sure I prefer women. ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2015, 9:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-not-to-say-during-sex/734896/28 "2015-10-18T21:15:02Z")
You think _you’re_ scared? I’m the one who has to walk out of this dark forest alone! ---
**Author:** ![harmonicamoon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/65b543/32.png) [@harmonicamoon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/harmonicamoon)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2015, 10:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-not-to-say-during-sex/734896/29 "2015-10-18T22:53:41Z")
And the classic, “Is it in, yet?” ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2015, 11:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-not-to-say-during-sex/734896/30 "2015-10-18T23:08:56Z")
That’ll do, pig. ---
**Author:** ![Ranger\_Jeff](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranger_jeff/32/2065_2.png) [@Ranger\_Jeff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranger_Jeff)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2015, 11:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-not-to-say-during-sex/734896/31 "2015-10-18T23:25:32Z")
Can you make change from a $50? ---
**Author:** ![Ambivalid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a5b964/32.png) [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2015, 11:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-not-to-say-during-sex/734896/32 "2015-10-18T23:58:43Z")
“Hmm. I guess I wasn’t supposed to take it on a full stomach.”. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![DinoR](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dinor/32/2821_2.png) [@DinoR](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DinoR)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2015, 12:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-not-to-say-during-sex/734896/33 "2015-10-19T00:22:11Z")
> [@Grrr](#): > > Eh, I don’t know. When I was married we would talk about mundane shit all the time during sex. I notice you reference that marriage in the past tense 😛 The mundane talk joke my ex and I had (never said in seriousness) was naming a color and after a pause clarifying that we should repaint in that color. ---
**Author:** ![janis\_and\_c0](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/janis_and_c0/32/21_2.png) [@janis\_and\_c0](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/janis_and_c0)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2015, 12:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-not-to-say-during-sex/734896/34 "2015-10-19T00:37:34Z")
> [@WhyNot](#): > > “Is that a leg?”\* > > _snip_ > > \*Please please please tell me I’m not the only old fogey here to remember where that came from! no, you’re not ---
**Author:** ![janis\_and\_c0](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/janis_and_c0/32/21_2.png) [@janis\_and\_c0](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/janis_and_c0)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2015, 1:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-not-to-say-during-sex/734896/35 "2015-10-19T01:11:39Z")
Sorry for the double post, But I had to go [look that up](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=24960)… (you’re welcome) 😃 ---
**Author:** ![FXMastermind](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fxmastermind/32/7289_2.png) [@FXMastermind](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FXMastermind)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2015, 4:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-not-to-say-during-sex/734896/36 "2015-10-19T16:26:06Z")
After we finish, you want to watch some Dexter? ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2015, 8:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-not-to-say-during-sex/734896/37 "2015-10-20T20:04:55Z")
Does this look infectious to you? ---
**Author:** ![FXMastermind](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fxmastermind/32/7289_2.png) [@FXMastermind](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FXMastermind)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2015, 8:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-not-to-say-during-sex/734896/38 "2015-10-20T20:07:33Z")
Careful, I have a boil on my scrotum. ---
**Author:** ![Smapti](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/smapti/32/17938_2.png) [@Smapti](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smapti)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2015, 8:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-not-to-say-during-sex/734896/39 "2015-10-20T20:42:49Z")
Woo! I am masturbating like a motherfuck! ---
**Author:** ![Icarus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/icarus/32/72_2.png) [@Icarus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Icarus)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2015, 8:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-not-to-say-during-sex/734896/40 "2015-10-20T20:55:48Z")
Geez, Mom, you taste like an ashtray! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-not-to-say-during-sex/734896.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-not-to-say-during-sex/734896.md?page=3)