# Things NOT to say during sex **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [October 17, 2015, 2:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-not-to-say-during-sex/734896 "2015-10-17T14:09:11Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2015, 4:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-not-to-say-during-sex/734896/61 "2015-10-22T04:16:59Z")
Ask if she has an emu. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2015, 4:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-not-to-say-during-sex/734896/62 "2015-10-22T04:18:31Z")
=quack= =quack= ---
**Author:** ![Ambivalid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a5b964/32.png) [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2015, 4:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-not-to-say-during-sex/734896/63 "2015-10-22T04:47:44Z")
“OMG, I saw the most disgusting looking beetle in this National Geographic today!” “It was a flesh-burrowing beetle, I believe.” ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2015, 4:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-not-to-say-during-sex/734896/64 "2015-10-22T04:55:16Z")
> [@Ambivalid](#): > > “OMG, I saw the most disgusting looking beetle in this National Geographic today!” “It was a flesh-burrowing beetle, I believe.” _point at pillow_ “And it looked just like that! Only smaller.” ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2015, 1:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-not-to-say-during-sex/734896/65 "2015-10-22T13:33:05Z")
“We’ve got to hurry up and finish before I turn into a pumpkin.” ---
**Author:** ![Spiderman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spiderman/32/230_2.png) [@Spiderman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spiderman)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2015, 4:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-not-to-say-during-sex/734896/66 "2015-10-22T16:00:10Z")
> [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](#): > > “We’ve got to hurry up and finish before I turn into a pumpkin.” Lemme introduce you to my friend, Peter Peter. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2015, 4:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-not-to-say-during-sex/734896/67 "2015-10-22T16:09:27Z")
“Who are you?” ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2015, 6:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-not-to-say-during-sex/734896/68 "2015-10-22T18:46:53Z")
“Tell me, have you given any thought to the benefits of a term life insurance policy?” ---
**Author:** ![Ambivalid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a5b964/32.png) [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2015, 7:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-not-to-say-during-sex/734896/69 "2015-10-22T19:04:11Z")
“Can we stop?” ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2015, 7:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-not-to-say-during-sex/734896/70 "2015-10-22T19:06:26Z")
“Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya…” ---
**Author:** ![Aquadementia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aquadementia/32/555_2.png) [@Aquadementia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aquadementia)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2015, 7:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-not-to-say-during-sex/734896/71 "2015-10-22T19:07:58Z")
“Hold on a sec. I’ve got a coupon for that in my wallet.” ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2015, 7:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-not-to-say-during-sex/734896/72 "2015-10-22T19:10:30Z")
> [@Ambivalid](#): > > “Can we stop?” “No” ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Nylock](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/77aa72/32.png) [@Mr.Nylock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Nylock)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2015, 10:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-not-to-say-during-sex/734896/73 "2015-10-22T22:03:30Z")
Das vagon ees kaput! ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2015, 10:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-not-to-say-during-sex/734896/74 "2015-10-22T22:57:40Z")
You’re already on your knees, c’mon, pray with me for our souls. ---
**Author:** ![Ambivalid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a5b964/32.png) [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2015, 11:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-not-to-say-during-sex/734896/75 "2015-10-22T23:04:58Z")
“Do you smell poop?” ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2015, 11:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-not-to-say-during-sex/734896/76 "2015-10-22T23:11:57Z")
Are you sure that was K-Y and not kerosene? ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2015, 1:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-not-to-say-during-sex/734896/77 "2015-10-23T01:44:32Z")
“This reminds me of that time I was showering with Jerry Sandusky…” ---
**Author:** ![JRDelirious](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jrdelirious/32/9531_2.png) [@JRDelirious](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JRDelirious)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2015, 1:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-not-to-say-during-sex/734896/78 "2015-10-23T01:49:19Z")
> [@WhyNot](#): > > “Is that a leg?”\* > > One from real life: my husband may be the only man to call me by his ex-wife’s name during the act and live to tell the tale. I thought it was hilarious. He was _mortified_. Hey, there wasn’t much blood left in his brain at that moment. 😃 > > \*Please please please tell me I’m not the only old fogey here to remember where that came from! > [@janis\_and\_c0](#): > > Sorry for the double post, But I had to go [look that up](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=24960)… > > (you’re welcome) > 😃 Yup, some of us remember! ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2015, 4:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-not-to-say-during-sex/734896/79 "2015-10-23T16:46:31Z")
Is THAT the best you got? ---
**Author:** ![Sicks\_Ate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/258eb7/32.png) [@Sicks\_Ate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sicks_Ate)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2015, 4:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-not-to-say-during-sex/734896/80 "2015-10-23T16:47:14Z")
Ewwww, itchy. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-not-to-say-during-sex/734896.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-not-to-say-during-sex/734896.md?page=5)