# Things NOT to say during sex **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [October 17, 2015, 2:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-not-to-say-during-sex/734896 "2015-10-17T14:09:11Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 7
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2015, 5:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-not-to-say-during-sex/734896/121 "2015-11-03T05:28:56Z")
That reminds me, I need to call my proctologist tomorrow. ---
**Author:** ![astorian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ad7895/32.png) [@astorian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astorian)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2015, 11:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-not-to-say-during-sex/734896/122 "2015-11-03T23:24:39Z")
If my wife calls, I’m not here. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2015, 2:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-not-to-say-during-sex/734896/123 "2015-11-04T02:41:27Z")
Hmmm. What’s a five-letter word meaning “prostitute”? ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2015, 2:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-not-to-say-during-sex/734896/124 "2015-11-04T02:43:06Z")
Talk like Donald Trump. ---
**Author:** ![Sicks\_Ate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/258eb7/32.png) [@Sicks\_Ate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sicks_Ate)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2015, 3:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-not-to-say-during-sex/734896/125 "2015-11-04T03:02:11Z")
As soon as I take mine out, you put yours in…3, 2, 1… ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2015, 5:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-not-to-say-during-sex/734896/126 "2015-11-04T17:44:06Z")
You need to trim your nostril hair. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2015, 5:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-not-to-say-during-sex/734896/127 "2015-11-04T17:45:27Z")
Put your diaper back on. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2015, 4:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-not-to-say-during-sex/734896/128 "2015-11-05T16:09:55Z")
No, I mean it - you _really_ need to trim your nostril hair. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2015, 4:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-not-to-say-during-sex/734896/129 "2015-11-05T16:17:19Z")
That’s not a nostril. ---
**Author:** ![Sicks\_Ate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/258eb7/32.png) [@Sicks\_Ate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sicks_Ate)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2015, 4:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-not-to-say-during-sex/734896/130 "2015-11-05T16:24:22Z")
> [@Boyo\_Jim](#): > > That’s not a nostril. THIS is a nostril! ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2015, 4:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-not-to-say-during-sex/734896/131 "2015-11-05T16:32:32Z")
I admit it, I actually clean septic tanks for a living. I just didn’t think you’d sleep with me if you knew I was a software engineer. ---
**Author:** ![Aquadementia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aquadementia/32/555_2.png) [@Aquadementia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aquadementia)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2015, 7:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-not-to-say-during-sex/734896/132 "2015-11-05T19:30:18Z")
"Boy… Girl… Boy… Girl… And this is the original? Well, you did tell me you were trans but I just don’t think I can be with anyone this indecisive and never throws anything out." ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2015, 8:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-not-to-say-during-sex/734896/133 "2015-11-06T20:02:15Z")
Have you ever considered braiding your armpit hair? ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2015, 4:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-not-to-say-during-sex/734896/134 "2015-11-07T16:19:36Z")
Well, there _used to_ be two! ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2015, 5:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-not-to-say-during-sex/734896/135 "2015-11-07T17:56:38Z")
Do you mind if I start a Straight Dope thread about this? ---
**Author:** ![Sicks\_Ate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/258eb7/32.png) [@Sicks\_Ate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sicks_Ate)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2015, 1:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-not-to-say-during-sex/734896/136 "2015-11-08T01:20:54Z")
Shhhhh! My mom’s coming!!! Damn mom…that was a huge orgasm. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2015, 1:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-not-to-say-during-sex/734896/137 "2015-11-08T01:39:29Z")
Do you think there really are “black widow” types who kill their partners during orgasm? ---
**Author:** ![swampspruce](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampspruce/32/261_2.png) [@swampspruce](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampspruce)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2015, 11:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-not-to-say-during-sex/734896/138 "2015-11-16T23:08:52Z")
Darlin’, I’m gonna make you come so hard you’ll shit yourself! ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2015, 5:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-not-to-say-during-sex/734896/139 "2015-11-17T05:41:05Z")
Did you add toilet paper to the shopping list, honey? ---
**Author:** ![katpohl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/b782af/32.png) [@katpohl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/katpohl)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2015, 7:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-not-to-say-during-sex/734896/140 "2015-11-20T07:18:49Z")
Did you hear that ? It sounded like " Honey I’m Home "!! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-not-to-say-during-sex/734896.md?page=6) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-not-to-say-during-sex/734896.md?page=8)