# Things NOT to say during sex **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [October 17, 2015, 2:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-not-to-say-during-sex/734896 "2015-10-17T14:09:11Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 8
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2015, 1:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-not-to-say-during-sex/734896/141 "2015-11-20T13:42:45Z")
Um. I shit myself. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2016, 4:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-not-to-say-during-sex/734896/142 "2016-01-15T04:26:59Z")
I did, too. ---
**Author:** ![Nema98](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/d2c977/32.png) [@Nema98](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nema98)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2016, 8:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-not-to-say-during-sex/734896/143 "2016-01-15T20:30:23Z")
I have to tell you something, I was born a man. ---
**Author:** ![Nema98](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/d2c977/32.png) [@Nema98](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nema98)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2016, 9:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-not-to-say-during-sex/734896/144 "2016-01-15T21:04:56Z")
I’m gonna have to kill you, no seriously. ---
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2016, 9:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-not-to-say-during-sex/734896/145 "2016-01-15T21:30:00Z")
“Isn’t that your parents car pulling into the driveway…?” also… “I know you’re into vajazzling, but all I have is a snap fastener gun…” \*\*_Ka-Chunk!_ _Ka-Chunk!_ _Ka-Chunk!_ \*\* ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2016, 3:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-not-to-say-during-sex/734896/146 "2016-01-16T03:57:52Z")
Don’t touch me here, here or _here_, or my junk will fall off. ---
**Author:** ![Bambita](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/b3f665/32.png) [@Bambita](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bambita)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2016, 10:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-not-to-say-during-sex/734896/147 "2016-01-16T22:54:22Z")
Why does it look so disfigured? Hold on let me ask my mum to come look at it. She’s a doctor. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2016, 2:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-not-to-say-during-sex/734896/148 "2016-01-17T02:00:23Z")
Our spawn will be the Antichrist! ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2016, 4:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-not-to-say-during-sex/734896/149 "2016-01-17T04:49:09Z")
Do you usually bleed this much? ---
**Author:** ![Bambita](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/b3f665/32.png) [@Bambita](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bambita)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2016, 12:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-not-to-say-during-sex/734896/150 "2016-01-23T12:01:10Z")
Oh my god! Was that hot sauce?! I thought it was lube! ---
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2016, 1:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-not-to-say-during-sex/734896/151 "2016-01-23T13:44:20Z")
“The zucchinis and cucumbers didn’t look fresh, so that was a Habanero…!” ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2016, 1:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-not-to-say-during-sex/734896/152 "2016-01-23T13:45:38Z")
Christ, that was SUPERGLUE??!! ---
**Author:** ![DollarburgerQueen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bcef8e/32.png) [@DollarburgerQueen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DollarburgerQueen)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2016, 9:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-not-to-say-during-sex/734896/153 "2016-02-18T21:17:10Z")
Where is it? And… Are you at a full sail? ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2016, 9:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-not-to-say-during-sex/734896/154 "2016-02-18T21:21:29Z")
_What_ is it? ---
**Author:** ![DollarburgerQueen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bcef8e/32.png) [@DollarburgerQueen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DollarburgerQueen)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2016, 9:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-not-to-say-during-sex/734896/155 "2016-02-18T21:27:02Z")
Is that a cold sore? ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2016, 9:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-not-to-say-during-sex/734896/156 "2016-02-18T21:31:51Z")
> [@DollarburgerQueen](#): > > Is that a cold sore? Close, it’s MRSA. ---
**Author:** ![DollarburgerQueen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bcef8e/32.png) [@DollarburgerQueen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DollarburgerQueen)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2016, 9:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-not-to-say-during-sex/734896/157 "2016-02-18T21:36:33Z")
Oh my dear, something smells a little funky in here. (i know its not me) 😃 ---
**Author:** ![PoppaSan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/poppasan/32/189_2.png) [@PoppaSan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PoppaSan)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2016, 4:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-not-to-say-during-sex/734896/158 "2016-02-26T16:44:28Z")
Uh, what are we going to tell dad? ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2016, 4:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-not-to-say-during-sex/734896/159 "2016-02-26T16:49:27Z")
Hi dad! ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2016, 4:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-not-to-say-during-sex/734896/160 "2016-02-26T16:51:16Z")
Mom, I know it sounds creepy and maybe even illegal, but think about it! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-not-to-say-during-sex/734896.md?page=7) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-not-to-say-during-sex/734896.md?page=9)