# Things NOT to say during sex **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [October 17, 2015, 2:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-not-to-say-during-sex/734896 "2015-10-17T14:09:11Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 9
**Author:** ![PoppaSan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/poppasan/32/189_2.png) [@PoppaSan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PoppaSan)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2016, 5:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-not-to-say-during-sex/734896/161 "2016-02-27T17:11:35Z")
What do you mean we were separated at birth? ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [February 29, 2016, 4:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-not-to-say-during-sex/734896/162 "2016-02-29T04:38:22Z")
Do you mind if I check out Chris Rock’s Oscars opening? ---
**Author:** ![PoppaSan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/poppasan/32/189_2.png) [@PoppaSan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PoppaSan)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2016, 2:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-not-to-say-during-sex/734896/163 "2016-03-22T02:25:55Z")
When was the last time you opened this thing? ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2016, 1:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-not-to-say-during-sex/734896/164 "2016-04-06T13:36:47Z")
Oh, jeez… how often do you _bathe_, anyway? ---
**Author:** ![PoppaSan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/poppasan/32/189_2.png) [@PoppaSan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PoppaSan)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2016, 2:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-not-to-say-during-sex/734896/165 "2016-05-03T02:11:50Z")
Uh-oh, I left my wallet in my other pants. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2016, 4:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-not-to-say-during-sex/734896/166 "2016-05-03T04:00:48Z")
Do you mind if I wear your pants afterwards? ---
**Author:** ![Mona\_Lisa\_Simpson](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ce7236/32.png) [@Mona\_Lisa\_Simpson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mona_Lisa_Simpson)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2016, 7:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-not-to-say-during-sex/734896/167 "2016-05-03T19:24:02Z")
That reminds me, I need to get my microscope calibrated. ---
**Author:** ![JohnT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnt/32/15048_2.png) [@JohnT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnT)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2016, 9:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-not-to-say-during-sex/734896/168 "2016-05-03T21:54:24Z")
Wake up! ---
**Author:** ![12mgdaily](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/1/f08c70/32.png) [@12mgdaily](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/12mgdaily)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2016, 11:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-not-to-say-during-sex/734896/169 "2016-05-03T23:48:38Z")
This one was actually said to me while (against my protests) he attempted to have me perform an impossible feat: "I read in Playboy that women can be trained to give oral as good as Linda Lovelace " ---
**Author:** ![JohnT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnt/32/15048_2.png) [@JohnT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnT)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2016, 12:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-not-to-say-during-sex/734896/170 "2016-05-04T00:41:35Z")
If those are your hands on my ass, then who is cupping my balls? ---
**Author:** ![PoppaSan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/poppasan/32/189_2.png) [@PoppaSan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PoppaSan)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2016, 11:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-not-to-say-during-sex/734896/171 "2016-05-12T23:15:04Z")
I’m not sure that promotion I promised is a sure thing. ---
**Author:** ![Sicks\_Ate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/258eb7/32.png) [@Sicks\_Ate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sicks_Ate)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2016, 3:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-not-to-say-during-sex/734896/172 "2016-05-13T03:22:05Z")
Sooooo…smells like you had Arbys for lunch? ---
**Author:** ![Esturionette](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9d8465/32.png) [@Esturionette](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Esturionette)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2016, 11:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-not-to-say-during-sex/734896/173 "2016-05-20T11:00:52Z")
Just a minute and the ritual will be complete. ---
**Author:** ![astorian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ad7895/32.png) [@astorian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astorian)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2016, 12:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-not-to-say-during-sex/734896/174 "2016-05-20T12:21:31Z")
“Who do you think would win- Gandalf or Dumbledore?” ---
**Author:** ![oregongrown](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8dc957/32.png) [@oregongrown](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/oregongrown)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2016, 4:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-not-to-say-during-sex/734896/175 "2016-06-14T04:15:13Z")
Hey, pull my finger. ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2016, 4:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-not-to-say-during-sex/734896/176 "2016-06-14T04:24:13Z")
“_That’s_ not my finger.” ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2016, 6:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-not-to-say-during-sex/734896/177 "2016-08-08T18:56:27Z")
Is it supposed to wobble like that? ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2016, 2:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-not-to-say-during-sex/734896/178 "2016-08-10T02:13:56Z")
“Teletubbies is on!” ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2016, 4:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-not-to-say-during-sex/734896/179 "2016-08-13T04:09:53Z")
How come you never offer to dress like Tinky Winky anymore? ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2016, 4:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-not-to-say-during-sex/734896/180 "2016-08-13T04:15:25Z")
Are you sure you can get _out of_ that position? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-not-to-say-during-sex/734896.md?page=8) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-not-to-say-during-sex/734896.md?page=10)