# Things Not To Say to Your Pregnant Wife **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 7, 2000, 10:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-not-to-say-to-your-pregnant-wife/28482 "2000-08-07T22:55:32Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Asmodeus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8dc957/32.png) [@Asmodeus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Asmodeus)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2000, 10:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-not-to-say-to-your-pregnant-wife/28482/1 "2000-08-07T22:55:32Z")
1. “I finished the Oreos” Any more? ---
**Author:** ![wring](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/838e76/32.png) [@wring](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wring)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2000, 10:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-not-to-say-to-your-pregnant-wife/28482/2 "2000-08-07T22:59:15Z")
“hey wait, my buddy’s GOT to see this!” and from personal experience “Mind if I eat these sardines while you’re in labor?” ---
**Author:** ![iampunha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/74df32/32.png) [@iampunha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iampunha)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2000, 11:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-not-to-say-to-your-pregnant-wife/28482/3 "2000-08-07T23:01:20Z")
“Are you sure you want to go through with this?” “Are you sure you’re pregnant?” “I’m tired of you being pregnant.” ---
**Author:** ![SmoothOperator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3bc359/32.png) [@SmoothOperator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SmoothOperator)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2000, 11:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-not-to-say-to-your-pregnant-wife/28482/4 "2000-08-07T23:02:44Z")
I just want to know how the two of you survived this long? Can you say suicidal? ---
**Author:** ![Persephone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ecc23a/32.png) [@Persephone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Persephone)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2000, 11:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-not-to-say-to-your-pregnant-wife/28482/5 "2000-08-07T23:12:38Z")
From personal experience, having been a pregnant wife: “Hi honey! How was your day?” “Ow! I just got a paper cut!” “Hey, can I have the remote?” “Well, _that’s_ a weird craving!” “I understand that you’re not in the mood, but do you think there’s anything you could do to, well, you know…” ---
**Author:** ![ultress](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/7c8e57/32.png) [@ultress](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ultress)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2000, 11:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-not-to-say-to-your-pregnant-wife/28482/6 "2000-08-07T23:21:36Z")
From my personal experience: ‘No hon, you don’t look fat’ (any idiot knows a pregnant woman is fat, she’s carrying a baby) ‘Aren’t you cold?’ ‘Wish your boobs could stay that size’ ‘Are you sure you are just carrying one baby?’ ‘Can’t you keep the house cleaner?’ ‘What’s for dinner?’ ---
**Author:** ![wring](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/838e76/32.png) [@wring](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wring)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2000, 11:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-not-to-say-to-your-pregnant-wife/28482/7 "2000-08-07T23:23:31Z")
notice there’s been three women who came up with answers??? ---
**Author:** ![Persephone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ecc23a/32.png) [@Persephone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Persephone)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2000, 11:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-not-to-say-to-your-pregnant-wife/28482/8 "2000-08-07T23:34:25Z")
Well, wring, who better to provide an answer to this particular timeless question than one who’s actually been asked these questions? 😉 ---
**Author:** ![BlindFaithe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/a4c791/32.png) [@BlindFaithe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BlindFaithe)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2000, 11:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-not-to-say-to-your-pregnant-wife/28482/9 "2000-08-07T23:44:49Z")
1). Well, at least your butt doesn’t look so big any more 2). Cesarean? At least it wasn’t _real_ surgery, couldn’t you at least _loosen_ the lug nuts? 3). You women know how to do that, you know, thing to make your hips look smaller. Couldn’t you do that? 4). I’m not stopping any more for you to use the loo, you’re ruining my time average! 5). Why aren’t you wearing your wedding ring? You’re never suppose to take it off 6). I got you released early from the hospital so you can be home in time to watch the other kids while I go for Tuesday’s poker night with the lads 7). How come you’re always so _tired_?! 8). How come you don’t jog like you used to? 9). I would be a lot easier for you to get your tubes tied than for me to get a vacectomy 10). Larry’s wife is 8 months pregnant and she still fits into her size 7 jeans ---
**Author:** ![CanadianSue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/71e660/32.png) [@CanadianSue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CanadianSue)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2000, 11:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-not-to-say-to-your-pregnant-wife/28482/10 "2000-08-07T23:46:58Z")
From personal experience Wow hon, looks like the booby fairy finally answered my prayers! I was just trying to help by doing the ironing, I know its your job (a bit of insanity on my part… he never ironed again, damn hormones ;)) ANOTHER chocolate sundae!!! You know if I hit you on the back you would bounce down the street ---
**Author:** ![Coldfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a587f6/32.png) [@Coldfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coldfire)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2000, 11:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-not-to-say-to-your-pregnant-wife/28482/11 "2000-08-07T23:54:29Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by BlindFaithe \* > **4). I’m not stopping any more for you to use the loo, you’re ruining my time average!** Not having any experience with pregnant women yet, this would **definately** be my line 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Rysdad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/7cd45c/32.png) [@Rysdad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rysdad)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2000, 11:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-not-to-say-to-your-pregnant-wife/28482/12 "2000-08-07T23:56:21Z")
“Geez! Whattya do while I’m at work, eat nothing but beans?” :::muttering sleepily::: “Is that about it, or are you going to make another half dozen trips to the bathroom tonight?” ---
**Author:** ![eggo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/c4cdca/32.png) [@eggo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eggo)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2000, 12:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-not-to-say-to-your-pregnant-wife/28482/13 "2000-08-08T00:16:41Z")
“Honey, let’s rent a movie, ever seen ‘Alien’?” “Well, just walk faster.” “You’d better be on bottom.” ---
**Author:** ![Saint\_Zero](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c4cdca/32.png) [@Saint\_Zero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Saint_Zero)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2000, 12:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-not-to-say-to-your-pregnant-wife/28482/14 "2000-08-08T00:21:23Z")
_ROTFL_ I am surprised some of you made it this far. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Ann\_Onimous](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ea5d25/32.png) [@Ann\_Onimous](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ann_Onimous)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2000, 12:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-not-to-say-to-your-pregnant-wife/28482/15 "2000-08-08T00:29:30Z")
Having been a pregnant wife myself, I could only think of one that hasn’t been touched yet. “What do you mean, you’re out of \???” 😃 ---
**Author:** ![KimKatt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ac91a4/32.png) [@KimKatt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KimKatt)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2000, 1:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-not-to-say-to-your-pregnant-wife/28482/16 "2000-08-08T01:20:13Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by eggo \* > \*\*“Honey, let’s rent a movie, ever seen ‘Alien’?” > \*\* My EX-husband did that to me. Along with, What do you mean we can’t have sex for six weeks? I can’t wait six weeks! ---
**Author:** ![The\_Mermaid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@The\_Mermaid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Mermaid)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2000, 2:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-not-to-say-to-your-pregnant-wife/28482/17 "2000-08-08T02:03:40Z")
“Oh honey, I know you’re 3 weeks overdue and feelin icky but come on, we have never had an anniversary without making love besides, all you have to do is stand there, I’ll do all the work.” “I don’t care if you’re sure tonight’s going to be the night you go into labor, you’ve said that for the last 3 nights. What’s wrong with a man drinking a little beer and eating a little pizza” (2 hours later) “I don’t believe this, NOW you tell me you’re in labor! Just when I’ve got a good buzz going” (45 minutes later) “aww Honey, do you have to do this now? I’ve got heartburn” (30 minutes later) “ZZZZZ ZZZZZZ ZZZZZZZ” 30 minutes later) “what do you mean, there’s something sticking out? For Christ’s sake, do you always have to wait until the last minute for everything? If you would have told me this was serious, I would have gotten up right away.” ---
**Author:** ![Persephone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ecc23a/32.png) [@Persephone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Persephone)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2000, 2:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-not-to-say-to-your-pregnant-wife/28482/18 "2000-08-08T02:20:01Z")
“I don’t know what _you’re_ complaining about. _I’m_ the one that did all the work, you know.” (My husband actually said this to me. He was kidding, but I was pregnant…) ---
**Author:** ![Profane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/e47774/32.png) [@Profane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Profane)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2000, 2:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-not-to-say-to-your-pregnant-wife/28482/19 "2000-08-08T02:21:15Z")
I got this while I was in labor: “Why are you making such a fuss? You knew it was going to hurt.” ---
**Author:** ![Surgoshan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e95f7d/32.png) [@Surgoshan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Surgoshan)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2000, 2:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-not-to-say-to-your-pregnant-wife/28482/20 "2000-08-08T02:21:38Z")
Are you sure I’m the father? Whoa. You’re really fat. You’ll still give blowjobs, right? No. Yes. What? What’s for dinner? [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-not-to-say-to-your-pregnant-wife/28482.md?page=2)