# Things other people find relaxing/unwinding but you find stressful **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [February 13, 2021, 12:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-other-people-find-relaxing-unwinding-but-you-find-stressful/932806 "2021-02-13T00:54:31Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![blabbermeister](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e9a140/32.png) [@blabbermeister](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blabbermeister)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2021, 11:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-other-people-find-relaxing-unwinding-but-you-find-stressful/932806/61 "2021-02-13T23:38:59Z")
> [@ThelmaLou](#): > > I swear, you could probably learn how to do open-heart surgery from YouTube. _And we’re back, with more of People Who Look Like Things._ “Oh no! Someone taped over the end of this!” ---
**Author:** ![nightshadea](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/7ba0ec/32.png) [@nightshadea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nightshadea)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2021, 11:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-other-people-find-relaxing-unwinding-but-you-find-stressful/932806/62 "2021-02-13T23:50:00Z")
even though i love them playing almost any videogame other than the harvest moon and story of seasons and stardew valley which are usually super chill farming games with a shoestring plot that you accomplish while playing the game out normally… ---
**Author:** ![puzzlegal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/puzzlegal/32/3827_2.png) [@puzzlegal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/puzzlegal)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2021, 1:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-other-people-find-relaxing-unwinding-but-you-find-stressful/932806/63 "2021-02-14T01:15:51Z")
> [@Toxylon](#): > > Taking showers is among the most relaxing things in my life. How is a moment of solitude while getting clean and warm, not relaxing? Hot water pouring over my body feels like a thousand tiny hands were giving me a massage, simultaneously 😃. After good food and good sex, it’s the next best ordinary sensory thing there is. I enjoy the “stand in the hot water” part of the shower. But I hate the “get into the shower” part. The water is never quite the temperature I expect, and it’s always an unpleasant shock. That’s true even though I stick my hand in, first. Getting a handheld shower head helped me – I stand in the shower, and hold it away from me and put my hand in it until it feels about right. And then I start at my feet and slowly move it up my body, so a lot of my skin is wet before it hits anything sensitive, like my belly or my face. And getting out of the shower is unpleasant, too, especially if I’ve gotten my hair wet. (I wash my hair a lot less often than I wash my skin.) ---
**Author:** ![amarinth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3be4f8/32.png) [@amarinth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/amarinth)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2021, 2:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-other-people-find-relaxing-unwinding-but-you-find-stressful/932806/64 "2021-02-14T02:35:28Z")
ASMR - it’s either noises that I want to get away from or someone whispering at a volume that makes me want to scream “TALK LOUDER!” ---
**Author:** ![Lancia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lancia/32/17174_2.png) [@Lancia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lancia)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2021, 3:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-other-people-find-relaxing-unwinding-but-you-find-stressful/932806/65 "2021-02-14T03:29:04Z")
> [@Dung\_Beetle](#): > > Weed. It doesn’t have the same effect on me that it has on others, which is a shame because I could use some help with my anxieties. Same here, kinda. The smell makes me want to hurl, and living in Oregon it’s almost ubiquitous. Plus there’s almost a peer-pressure aspect to it: a vast majority of people I know smoke, and whenever I make the mistake of mentioning my anxiety or depression I’m bombarded with some version of a recommendation to start smoking grass. But the smell alone is such a turn-off that I can’t even try it. ---
**Author:** ![TreacherousCretin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/treacherouscretin/32/476_2.png) [@TreacherousCretin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TreacherousCretin)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2021, 5:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-other-people-find-relaxing-unwinding-but-you-find-stressful/932806/66 "2021-02-14T05:37:26Z")
I’ve hated eating in restaurants for most of my adult life. Fancy schmancy, MacDonalds, makes no difference. > [@pullin](#): > > Going out to eat. ---
**Author:** ![BrickBat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ac91a4/32.png) [@BrickBat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrickBat)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2021, 9:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-other-people-find-relaxing-unwinding-but-you-find-stressful/932806/67 "2021-02-14T09:59:27Z")
I’ll not use the term stressful, but I’ve never seen eye-to eye with the imagery of the soothing ride in a convertible car with the top down. I can _somewhat_ understand the romanticized _idea_ of it, but the reality almost always disappoints me. All the irritating as hell buffeting of the wind/slipstream, the rationalization of brushing aside otherwise uncomfortable weather conditions just to have the top down. I don’t get it. OK, maybe in a slow cruise in a parade like scenario; but then there’s all the noise and hoopla of a parade. ---
**Author:** ![pullin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c57346/32.png) [@pullin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pullin)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2021, 11:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-other-people-find-relaxing-unwinding-but-you-find-stressful/932806/68 "2021-02-14T11:14:29Z")
> [@BrickBat](#): > > I’ll not use the term stressful, but I’ve never seen eye-to eye with the imagery of the soothing ride in a convertible car with the top down. This is an excellent point, and one I’d completely forgotten. In my forties I finally reached the financial point where I could afford a convertible. Bought a used one, but sold it after six weeks and returned to a hardtop. My wife’s car has a sunroof\*, which neither of us has opened in the entire time we’ve owned it. Wind is a PITA, traffic is loud, and there’s a reason we humans put climate control in our cars. \*bought used, it was ordered by original owner. ---
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2021, 11:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-other-people-find-relaxing-unwinding-but-you-find-stressful/932806/69 "2021-02-14T11:48:07Z")
> [@blabbermeister](#): > > Taking a shower: Loud water gushing, those harsh seconds before the water gets warm (even though it was already warm coming out of the bathtub faucet) - then it’s too hot; by the time you get comfortable it’s time to get out and start shivering all over again. Definitely a stress situation; I’d never want to wake up by showering first thing in the morning. There’s this and also that it’s hard to lather yourself without accidentally rinsing or getting a face full of water, and getting water all over the bathroom if you’re not careful. > [@Hampshire](#): > > Jogging. No matter how fit or conditioned I got jogging/running was just awful. I could never get used to the constant pounding on the feet, knees, hips, back. Biking, rollerblading, swimming I could go for miles. Jogging I was shot after one mile. Jogging per se is one of the more relaxing ways of exercising to me, but is still usually not as relaxing as it could be. You still have all of the stresses of travelling: obstacles, loud noises, and navigating traffic. With other modes of exercise these are even worse, but they are still there with jogging. I guess hiking is more relaxing than jogging because the loud noise and auto traffic are absent. Except hiking anywhere in Florida, because they are replaced by the fear of running into invisible spiderwebs. > [@puzzlegal](#): > > Some of the things people have mentioned, like dancing and eating at new restaurants, are things I enjoy but I’d never call them “relaxing”. For me, a restaurant can be relaxing as long as there is a minimum of people in there are they don’t pipe in loud music. If you have what I call “Covidmax” capacity, with around 1/4 of the normal tables fully taken, then I’d say it’s on the edge between relaxing and stressful. It would have to be slightly more empty than that to be relaxing. ---
**Author:** ![themapleleaf](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/themapleleaf/32/14349_2.png) [@themapleleaf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/themapleleaf)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2021, 12:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-other-people-find-relaxing-unwinding-but-you-find-stressful/932806/70 "2021-02-14T12:33:05Z")
> [@blabbermeister](#): > > Two examples for me: > > 1. Taking a shower: Loud water gushing, those harsh seconds before the water gets warm (even though it was already warm coming out of the bathtub faucet) - then it’s too hot; by the time you get comfortable it’s time to get out and start shivering all over again. Definitely a stress situation; I’d never want to wake up by showering first thing in the morning. > > 2. Driving. No matter how scenic or deserted the road is, driving is either tiring or stressful; never relaxing. I don’t understand those car commericials where they make it out to be something fun, I don’t care how nice the car itself is. Showers: I like having them now, but I had to grow into them. As a kid and even a teenager, I preferred taking a bath of any kind. Water pouring directly on my head felt aggressive and keeping it out of my eyes was difficult. However, after trying soaking in the bathtub a number of times as an adult, I found it was not all it was cracked up to be. I now like taking a shower (as a rule before bed; like you I would never want to wake up in this way - too much work for someone who’s manifestly _not_ a morning person). Driving: a very stressful activity for me. I learned to drive in my mid-late 30s and, having had a rather stressful life prior to that, it didn’t come easy for me. I have slow reaction time and there are so many things that you have to take notice of when driving. I only regularly drove for about 2 - 2 1/2 years during my last stay in Canada, and during that time, I had several near-misses or minor accidents. I currently don’t have access to a car and in all honesty think that for me the responsible choice is to avoid driving. > [@Astrid1](#): > > …Having someone else’s hands touching my head and hair, the monotonous sound of dryers, useless chatting… I just can’t stand it! > Most of my friends find that going to the hairdresser is one of the most relaxing moments of their days. I disagree I cut my own hair. I never liked anything about the atmosphere of a barbershop/haidresser’s. I’ve always found it rather icky and I don’t like that it’s one of those places where you have to tip. I started cutting my own hair when I was 20, back in 2000. The last time I had my hair cut professionally was when I was 22; by that time I already had the same kind of hair I have now - a one-length bob. When I cut it, it should be at the same level as the tip of the chin part of my beard, thus about collar-length. > [@DavidNRockies](#): > > Others have made reference to cooking. I love to cook but it’s anything _but_ relaxing for me. I call it ‘barely managed chaos.’ It took a great effort for me to recently learn to cook just soup. Cooking seems very much like “work”. Shovelling snow seems a more relaxing activity to me than cooking (you’re out in the fresh air, the activity requires little mental extertion, so you can just think about whatever while pusing the snow away). > [@panache45](#): > > I love getting my hair cut, and I hope to return to a real barber soon. > > But I can’t stand having to make small talk in the barber shop. I’d rather just sit there in silence, and let my barber do her job Why don’t you just politely tell her that you’d prefer to relax in silence while she cuts your hair? If she has any notion of good customer service, she would understand. > [@amarinth](#): > > ASMR - it’s either noises that I want to get away from or someone whispering at a volume that makes me want to scream “TALK LOUDER!” I discovered ASMR about three years ago and it was a great tool for calming down for me. It helped get me through some difficult times. Not to mention ASMRists tend to be attractive young women…the thing with ASMR videos is, they’re quite a smorgasbord. Different people react to different things and the ASMRists cater to that. What would be relaxing and ASMR-triggering to one person would be irritating to another (as are all the things listed so far in thise thread). I always watched pretty much exclusively the personal attention ones (simulating a massage, a scalp check, a cranial nerve exam, a flight attendant’s service, etc.) I am completely uninterested in the ones where they just blow into or brush the microphone or make mouth noises or whatever. I do agree with you that it can be irritating when they just whisper and you can’t hear what they say. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2021, 1:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-other-people-find-relaxing-unwinding-but-you-find-stressful/932806/71 "2021-02-14T13:18:56Z")
The cool thing about cutting your own hair is that you cannot mess up. On my first attempt I was just winging it. No YouTube videos, nothing. When I realized I’d gotten in over my head I just called a do-over. I shaved my head and face smooth and started from scratch. For my next attempt I studied YouTube vids and took it seriously. ---
**Author:** ![Ulfreida](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ulfreida/32/8014_2.png) [@Ulfreida](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ulfreida)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2021, 2:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-other-people-find-relaxing-unwinding-but-you-find-stressful/932806/72 "2021-02-14T14:28:26Z")
> [@Treppenwitz](#): > > Background radio or, even worse, background TV. It just drags my eyes to it, even if I have not the slightest interest in what’s on, and mushes my ability to concentrate on anything else. I have to sit with my back to the TV in order to function at any sort of acceptable level. Cannot agree more. I can’t function in a room with a television on. ---
**Author:** ![Crafter\_Man](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/crafter_man/32/458_2.png) [@Crafter\_Man](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crafter_Man)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2021, 2:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-other-people-find-relaxing-unwinding-but-you-find-stressful/932806/73 "2021-02-14T14:31:34Z")
Being on a beach. ---
**Author:** ![Ulfreida](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ulfreida/32/8014_2.png) [@Ulfreida](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ulfreida)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2021, 2:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-other-people-find-relaxing-unwinding-but-you-find-stressful/932806/74 "2021-02-14T14:39:36Z")
I love beaches if they are cold and lonely. It’s a great place to hike along and let your mind drift. Hard to get lost, and the whatever they’re called ions in the air are soothing and uplifting. A hot sunny beach filled with oily people lying on towels, with the expectation that you are there to find your own towel spot to lie down and oil yourself? No. I can bake, steam, or boil myself for about five minutes before I am very done with it. ---
**Author:** ![ThelmaLou](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thelmalou/32/390_2.png) [@ThelmaLou](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ThelmaLou)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2021, 2:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-other-people-find-relaxing-unwinding-but-you-find-stressful/932806/75 "2021-02-14T14:40:36Z")
> [@Crafter\_Man](#): > > Being on a beach.- Yeah, the romantic/travel movies fail to mention that the sand gets EVERYWHERE. Even if you’re just sitting still, the omnipresent wind blows it into your eyes and mouth. And food/drink. Intimate activity on the beach?? No fucking way (as it were). ---
**Author:** ![madmonk28](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/madmonk28/32/20811_2.png) [@madmonk28](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/madmonk28)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2021, 2:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-other-people-find-relaxing-unwinding-but-you-find-stressful/932806/76 "2021-02-14T14:55:24Z")
My in-laws have to turn the tv on, but then no one watches. When we visited, in the America that was, they’d turn on the tv and start talking to us. I find it jarring, are we watching this show, or are we talking? If you turned off the tv, they get kind of nervous. I think some people just can’t stand a moment of silence. ---
**Author:** ![Crafter\_Man](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/crafter_man/32/458_2.png) [@Crafter\_Man](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crafter_Man)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2021, 3:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-other-people-find-relaxing-unwinding-but-you-find-stressful/932806/77 "2021-02-14T15:25:51Z")
> [@ThelmaLou](#): > > Yeah, the romantic/travel movies fail to mention that the sand gets EVERYWHERE. Even if you’re just sitting still, the omnipresent wind blows it into your eyes and mouth. And food/drink. Intimate activity on the beach?? No fucking way (as it were). I just don’t get the appeal of a beach. Besides sand getting everywhere, walking on it is a chore, and the Sun is giving me cancer. I also have a hard time laying around and doing absolutely nothing. ---
**Author:** ![DorkVader](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/73ab20/32.png) [@DorkVader](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DorkVader)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2021, 3:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-other-people-find-relaxing-unwinding-but-you-find-stressful/932806/78 "2021-02-14T15:49:20Z")
Amusement/water slide parks, I take Vaderling, nieces and nephew on the very rare occasion. I don’t enjoy it. Too many people, rides I don’t like going on, water slides that are poorly constructed so you feel beat to hell at the bottom, too many people. Bars/clubbing also, too many damn people who are loud and drunk, or getting there, music set to headache inducing loudness, hot, boring, too many damn people, music too loud. Takes me about two weeks to recover from a trip to a bar to hang out Eh, anything with large crowds that are right there “in my face” so to speak, and or loud music. Love the beach, showers, driving(mostly) ---
**Author:** ![Eyebrows\_0f\_Doom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eyebrows_0f_doom/32/3119_2.png) [@Eyebrows\_0f\_Doom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eyebrows_0f_Doom)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2021, 4:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-other-people-find-relaxing-unwinding-but-you-find-stressful/932806/79 "2021-02-14T16:09:36Z")
> [@kayaker](#): > > The cool thing about cutting your own hair is that you cannot mess up. 🤨 That’s nonsense, and _extremely_ male-centered. Of **course** you can mess up, and you can mess up very easily. You just said you did it wrong. You were just OK with the solution of shaving your head bald. ---
**Author:** ![lobotomyboy63](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobotomyboy63/32/2900_2.png) [@lobotomyboy63](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lobotomyboy63)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2021, 4:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-other-people-find-relaxing-unwinding-but-you-find-stressful/932806/80 "2021-02-14T16:20:12Z")
> [@themapleleaf](#): > > Why don’t you just politely tell her that you’d prefer to relax in silence while she cuts your hair? If she has any notion of good customer service, she would understand. You can request that from Uber drivers like that now, can’t you? Where tips are concerned, I think they’d be happy to accomodate. I don’t usually get good service from hair places. Like a lot of men, I just want a haircut; I’m not super fussy. I tip $5 for a $10/20 minute haircut, but those are small potatoes compared to the women. Mrs. L spends good money on hers and tips generously. She and her hairdresser gab away… > [@Crafter\_Man](#): > > I also have a hard time laying around and doing absolutely nothing. I don’t even tan…I just burn. > [@DorkVader](#): > > Amusement/water slide parks Add the cost of admission and parking. Then waiting in line. It’s like the insult upon the injury. > [@DorkVader](#): > > Bars/clubbing also Yep. In my younger days I thought that was where you were supposed to meet the opposite sex but trying to yell over the noise etc.? And again, the expense only adds another reason to avoid it. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-other-people-find-relaxing-unwinding-but-you-find-stressful/932806.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-other-people-find-relaxing-unwinding-but-you-find-stressful/932806.md?page=5)