# Things other people find relaxing/unwinding but you find stressful **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [February 13, 2021, 12:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-other-people-find-relaxing-unwinding-but-you-find-stressful/932806 "2021-02-13T00:54:31Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![RivkahChaya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rivkahchaya/32/8919_2.png) [@RivkahChaya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RivkahChaya)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2021, 4:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-other-people-find-relaxing-unwinding-but-you-find-stressful/932806/81 "2021-02-14T16:22:08Z")
Most of mine have been hit, especially gardening. My mother used to make us weed the gardens as punishment. It was the worst thing she could threaten us with. No TV for a week? pfft. Two hours of gardening? How high? My big one is gambling. I get that this gives some people a rush of endorphins and seratonin, and this has been measured in labs, etc., etc. Doesn’t happen to me. Even flipping a coin stresses me out. Playing dreidl for beans stresses me out. Playing penny-ante poker gives me indigestion, and the runs. Really. I was in Las Vegas in Oct. of 2018, and did not gamble even a quarter. There were machines in my hotel I walked right past. I didn’t even watch other people-- that even makes me nervous. I’ve never been on a cruise, but water in general depresses me. Oceans, lakes, seas-- hate them all. If I want to go swimming, it needs to be in a pool, so while I like traveling, I assume I would hate a cruise. I also don’t like the hotels the most as part of a trip. I like having a chance to do things I don’t normally get to do, but I don’t really know how much of that there is on a ship. I hate shuffleboard. There are some forms of exercise I like, but I don’t find any of them relaxing. I don’t enjoy jogging or running in any form. I had to do it on a regular basis when I was in the military, and that probably ruined it for me as a form of anything other than pure suck. I love to cook and bake, but the only thing is does for me as far as relaxation, is that after I’ve spent a substantial amount of time in the kitchen, and produced something, I’m tired, physically and mentally, and also feel like I’ve _earned_ time on the couch in front of the TV. Just sitting and watching TV would normally feel like wasting time, and make me feel a little guilty, but if I’ve just done something difficult and productive, then an hour of TV and just sitting can relax me. This is also when I get to watch new stuff on the DVR. If I’m watching TV while I’m doing chores, I put on reruns, mostly for background noise. I’m going to bake and fold laundry when I’m done posting, and I already have TBBT reruns on. In fact, I have a playlist of my favorites. Driving, I hate as well. I _always_ let DH drive when we go places together. Only on long trips, when he needs a nap, do I do any of the driving. I love, love, love theme parks, especially with a water component, but I would not call them relaxing. In fact, I need half the next day to recover. I hate bars, and alcohol in general. I don’t find restaurants relaxing in particular, but I do enjoy taking a book to a coffee shop, or a restaurant during off-hours, when they don’t try to rush you out, and sit in a relatively quit environment, where someone keep topping off my coffee, and brings me a nosh if I get hungry. People without children probably will not understand this. ---
**Author:** ![not\_what\_you\_d\_expect](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/not_what_you_d_expect/32/3246_2.png) [@not\_what\_you\_d\_expect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/not_what_you_d_expect)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2021, 4:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-other-people-find-relaxing-unwinding-but-you-find-stressful/932806/82 "2021-02-14T16:43:39Z")
I love the beach, but not just lying in the sun and baking. No, the correct way is to be seated at an outdoor place that serves alcohol and good food while you gaze upon the wonder and enjoy the sights and smells. I love the smell of hot bodies and suntan lotion. I don’t enjoy massages. Way too up close and personal for me. I have a hard enough time being that vulnerable with someone I love, much less a stranger. ---
**Author:** ![chela](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chela/32/21582_2.png) [@chela](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chela)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2021, 5:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-other-people-find-relaxing-unwinding-but-you-find-stressful/932806/83 "2021-02-14T17:25:25Z")
Who in their right mind finds deep sea fishing relaxing? Sure the 25 mile ride out to the fishing grounds might be enjoyable on a calm day but once you stop and it’s time to fish, seasickness kicks in immediately 🤮 Same on a sailboat, light winds, kicking up a spray it’s divine, otherwise becalmed and at the mercy of the swell and black flies it’s hell. Theme parks, carnivals I only enjoy it for people watching and that’s done sitting in the shade with a large lemonade so yeah relaxing. Hair salons so not relaxing, wish they were and they should be but I’m not comfortable in a setting where everyone is gussied up, primping and preening and seeking approval on their outward appearance. Pedicures? Awkward! Cannot imagine letting some stranger sit at my feet and pick at my toenails I’ll do my own thank you very much. ---
**Author:** ![bibliophage](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bibliophage/32/7615_2.png) [@bibliophage](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bibliophage)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2021, 6:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-other-people-find-relaxing-unwinding-but-you-find-stressful/932806/84 "2021-02-14T18:13:29Z")
Shopping is the big one. Going shopping to relieve stress is common enough that there’s a name for it: “retail therapy.” Until I was finally old enough to revolt, my aunt and sister used to drag me around to different stores and malls for six, eight, or ten hours at a time. I hated every minute of it. It’s so damn boring and often crowded. Even before the pandemic, I used online shopping and curbside pickup as much as possible. When I do go to a store, I grab what I came for and get the hell out as fast as I possibly can. I rarely spend more than 20 minutes in any one store and rarely visit more than one or two stores a week. ---
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2021, 6:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-other-people-find-relaxing-unwinding-but-you-find-stressful/932806/85 "2021-02-14T18:17:51Z")
> [@chela](#): > > Who in their right mind finds deep sea fishing relaxing? Sure the 25 mile ride out to the fishing grounds might be enjoyable on a calm day but once you stop and it’s time to fish, seasickness kicks in immediately It wasn’t relaxing the one time I did it, because not only am I literally the worst fisher I’ve ever known (including young children who are not putting any bait on their hooks), my mom made me take Dramamine beforehand so I spent at least half the time sleeping on the top deck. I’ve never actually been seasick so she didn’t have to be so conservative. ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2021, 6:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-other-people-find-relaxing-unwinding-but-you-find-stressful/932806/86 "2021-02-14T18:25:35Z")
> [@bibliophage](#): > > Shopping is the big one. Going shopping to relieve stress is common enough that there’s a name for it: “retail therapy.” I despise shopping with every fiber of my being. Overpriced, crowded malls, trying on clothes that never fit right, carrying around heavy bags… No thanks. I don’t even particularly like online shopping. ---
**Author:** ![BrickBat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ac91a4/32.png) [@BrickBat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrickBat)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2021, 7:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-other-people-find-relaxing-unwinding-but-you-find-stressful/932806/87 "2021-02-14T19:45:22Z")
> [@madmonk28](#): > > My in-laws have to turn the tv on, but then no one watches. When we visited, in the America that was, they’d turn on the tv and start talking to us. I find it jarring, are we watching this show, or are we talking? > > If you turned off the tv, they get kind of nervous. I think some people just can’t stand a moment of silence. Tell me about: It’s horrible. In most cases it’s just like they can’t function without some sort of external stimuli. In some cases, it’s been my experience where some hosts have their TV tuned to a certain cable news channel infamous for its inflammatory “delivery”, which said hosts use as impetus to constantly try to steer the conversation toward politics. ---
**Author:** ![madmonk28](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/madmonk28/32/20811_2.png) [@madmonk28](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/madmonk28)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2021, 8:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-other-people-find-relaxing-unwinding-but-you-find-stressful/932806/88 "2021-02-14T20:06:44Z")
With my in-laws, the TV is just turned on and left on whatever station they had on the day before, or they watch one of the morning news shows on the networks like the Today show and then they just leave it on that network all day. They’ll actually wander out of the room and leave it on, but if you turn it off they put back the second they come back. It’s like having an idiot in the middle of the room just babbling. ---
**Author:** ![erysichthon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/d07c76/32.png) [@erysichthon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/erysichthon)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2021, 8:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-other-people-find-relaxing-unwinding-but-you-find-stressful/932806/89 "2021-02-14T20:15:27Z")
> [@Eyebrows\_0f\_Doom](#): > > > [@Mallard](#): > > > > I think also called “glow” bowling. > > Is that where they turn on neon lights and disco music and the rest is dark? Do people really think of that as “relaxing”? I’ve always thought that was for drunk 20-something parties. It was called “cosmic bowling” at a place in my old neighborhood. I don’t think anyone actually considers that relaxing. This thread has taken a predictable turn into “list things you don’t like doing.” ---
**Author:** ![puzzlegal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/puzzlegal/32/3827_2.png) [@puzzlegal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/puzzlegal)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2021, 10:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-other-people-find-relaxing-unwinding-but-you-find-stressful/932806/90 "2021-02-14T22:37:29Z")
> [@DorkVader](#): > > Amusement/water slide parks, I take Vaderling, nieces and nephew on the very rare occasion. I don’t enjoy it. Too many people, rides I don’t like going on, water slides that are poorly constructed so you feel beat to hell at the bottom, too many people. > Bars/clubbing also, too many damn people who are loud and drunk, or getting there, music set to headache inducing loudness, hot, boring, too many damn people, music too loud. I enjoy amusement parks, and I think I could get into clubbing, but I would never in a million years describe either as relaxing. > [@RivkahChaya](#): > > My big one is gambling. I get that this gives some people a rush of endorphins and seratonin, and this has been measured in labs, etc., etc. Doesn’t happen to me. Even flipping a coin stresses me out. Playing dreidl for beans stresses me out. Playing penny-ante poker gives me indigestion, and the runs. Really. I was in Las Vegas in Oct. of 2018, and did not gamble even a quarter. There were machines in my hotel I walked right past. I didn’t even watch other people-- that even makes me nervous. I despise gambling. I find it stressful just to walk around Vegas, with the slots going everywhere. But again. I don’t think the people who like gambling find it relaxing. I think they find it exciting. ---
**Author:** ![Mallard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b9bd4f/32.png) [@Mallard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mallard)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2021, 10:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-other-people-find-relaxing-unwinding-but-you-find-stressful/932806/91 "2021-02-14T22:49:10Z")
I guess that depends on whether you consider “entertainment” or “recreation” to be a form of relaxation. ---
**Author:** ![RivkahChaya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rivkahchaya/32/8919_2.png) [@RivkahChaya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RivkahChaya)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2021, 10:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-other-people-find-relaxing-unwinding-but-you-find-stressful/932806/92 "2021-02-14T22:55:03Z")
> [@puzzlegal](#): > > I don’t think the people who like gambling find it relaxing. I think they find it exciting. That’s the thing: I think for some people, being excited → being happy → being relaxed. For other people, excitement has too big a component of stress to lead to happiness, and they need “recovery” from it; even for people who might find it somewhat enjoyable, it has its limits. In fact, that might be a significant difference between introverts and extroverts. Because, I have had people tell me that they find an evening in a casino a way of “relaxing,” but now that I think about it, they are the type of people who tend to describe things as “relaxing,” or “decompressing,” that are not so much mellowing, but things where they can do whatever they want with abandon. I’ll bet people who think cruises, theme parks, and parties are “relaxing” feel the same way. ---
**Author:** ![Ulfreida](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ulfreida/32/8014_2.png) [@Ulfreida](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ulfreida)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2021, 11:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-other-people-find-relaxing-unwinding-but-you-find-stressful/932806/93 "2021-02-14T23:37:11Z")
> [@RivkahChaya](#): > > I’ll bet people who think cruises, theme parks, and parties are “relaxing” feel the same way. Maybe the last two. But cruises are like living in a hotel with a view. The exciting thing of the day might be getting dressed up for dinner. The people I know who love cruises are people who tend to not have a lot of options and luxury in their everyday lives, and find being waited on, not having to plan anything, and to just be idle and pampered, to be extremely enjoyable. ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2021, 11:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-other-people-find-relaxing-unwinding-but-you-find-stressful/932806/94 "2021-02-14T23:47:52Z")
I took a Mediterranean cruise in ‘07 on my husband’s relatives’ dime (they brought everyone). It was quite nice. The days we were cruising I spent in my cabin doing introvert stuff, and then we had some nice dinners (and some family mandated events.) We hit Spain, France, Italy, Greece, and Croatia. Trip of a lifetime. The only real downside is that when we found a place we loved, we couldn’t stay long. I fell in love with Santorini and Dubrovnik and did not want to leave. For someone like me who had never left the country or even flown on a plane until that summer, it was like winning a game show. Unfortunately my husband got sick and I think it’s given him a permanent aversion to boats. ---
**Author:** ![DorkVader](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/73ab20/32.png) [@DorkVader](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DorkVader)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2021, 3:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-other-people-find-relaxing-unwinding-but-you-find-stressful/932806/95 "2021-02-15T03:18:27Z")
Uh yeah, for me “relaxing” and “fun” are fairly, but not totally, equal. Target shooting is not physically relaxing, but psychologically very much so. People go to amusement and water parks to have fun and forget their worries for a bit, I just get ramped up into a ball of introverted tension that magnifies everything negative. I didn’t mean to deflect the thread into things I don’t like. ---
**Author:** ![RivkahChaya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rivkahchaya/32/8919_2.png) [@RivkahChaya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RivkahChaya)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2021, 3:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-other-people-find-relaxing-unwinding-but-you-find-stressful/932806/96 "2021-02-15T03:33:48Z")
> [@Spice\_Weasel](#): > > I fell in love with Santorini and Dubrovnik and did not want to leave. I love Santorini too. I have not been to Dubrovnik, but I have been to a number of East European capitals, many Slavic, and loved them all, so I assume I would like Dubrovnik. I loved Prague, Bratislava, Warsaw, Tbilisi, Tallinn, Minsk, and Vilnius (which I spelled Vilna, but spellcheck is making me change to Vilnius). I was a kid when I was in E. Europe. Even then, while I found it fun and fascinating, “relaxing” is not a word that comes to mind. > [@DorkVader](#): > > for me “relaxing” and “fun” are fairly, but not totally, equal. Totally not me. After fun, I’m happy, but I need recovery, and “chill out” time. ---
**Author:** ![Lancia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lancia/32/17174_2.png) [@Lancia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lancia)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2021, 3:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-other-people-find-relaxing-unwinding-but-you-find-stressful/932806/97 "2021-02-15T03:40:14Z")
Watching TV. I just can’t get into it. Or rather, I no longer can get into it. There are several shows I’ve watched either by the season (like the first ten or 11 seasons of _The Simpsons_) or the entire series but the last series I watched in its entirety was _The Mentalist._ I watched a lot of TV when I was a teenager but now I just can’t stand it. My in-laws have the TV on all day. Every day. They get antsy when it isn’t on. Me, in the opposite. I don’t want it on, I have little use for it, and I would really prefer my living room to be television-less. But that’s a fight I won’t win. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2021, 4:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-other-people-find-relaxing-unwinding-but-you-find-stressful/932806/98 "2021-02-15T04:43:25Z")
I thought you were legally blind – surely you don’t still drive? ---
**Author:** ![puzzlegal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/puzzlegal/32/3827_2.png) [@puzzlegal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/puzzlegal)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2021, 4:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-other-people-find-relaxing-unwinding-but-you-find-stressful/932806/99 "2021-02-15T04:45:25Z")
> [@RivkahChaya](#): > > > [@DorkVader](#): > > > > for me “relaxing” and “fun” are fairly, but not totally, equal. > > Totally not me. After fun, I’m happy, but I need recovery, and “chill out” time. Yeah, me neither. Most of the past several years i have taken two summer vacations. The first one is fun, and exciting, and i go to new places and eat new foods and spend a of time with people i don’t know well. I love it. But i go home exhausted. A couple weeks later i take the relaxing vacation, where i go to the same island I’ve been to since i was ten. And I spend a lot of time alone in my cabin reading. And some time hanging out with small groups of people i know well. And meals show up at 9, 1, and 6, and the food is boring but perfectly okay. And i don’t have to make any decisions more complicated than “shall i take some salad or ask someone to pass the brussel sprouts?” The first vacation is way more fun. But it takes me weeks to recover from it. ---
**Author:** ![Novelty\_Bobble](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/a3d4f5/32.png) [@Novelty\_Bobble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Novelty_Bobble)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2021, 8:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-other-people-find-relaxing-unwinding-but-you-find-stressful/932806/100 "2021-02-15T08:06:19Z")
There’s a TV trope that sees a person come into their house, stressed and hassled, pours a glass of wine and puts on some jazz. Jazz is the last thing I want to listen to to relax. Like nails on a blackboard, listening to it is incredibly stressful and offputting to me. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-other-people-find-relaxing-unwinding-but-you-find-stressful/932806.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-other-people-find-relaxing-unwinding-but-you-find-stressful/932806.md?page=6)