I enjoy massages and I do consider them a luxury. I find them pretty relaxing. They often hurt in the short term but they help with a lot of chronic pain.
Agreed.
Ooh, cruises! Forgot them. Like that Sartre play, No Exit.
Also cooking. It’s a job, not a pleasure.
I actually like massages a lot. They ARE relaxing if you, you know, relax.
Oldies music. Do not understand the appeal of music you listened to as a teenager. I liked it then but I have moved on, way way on.
I wouldn’t mind fishing if I liked killing things and then eating them.
Falling asleep with the tv on, the brightness, the volume, the flicker, it’s all distracting and slightly nauseating to me I have to have it off. OTOH if I tune into an ASMR session on YouTube I’m zonked out in no time. I like Reikki with Anna and Whispersred.
Gardening. The Mrs. enjoys it. I find it to be stoop labor which hurts my back, gets me bitten by bugs, puts me in contact with plants that make my skin itch, and the whole thing makes me sweat, and not in a good way.
Oh yeah, big time. If my mother is visiting, or I’m visiting her and they involve an overnight stay, it drives me insane. I have to wear earplugs but even then the flickering seen through the cracks of a closed door still distracts me from sleeping. I can’t stand the constant chatter and flash even during waking hours, but she claims she can’t fall asleep without all that; and she’s a light sleeper besides.
P.S. She’s always complaining she doesn’t get enough sleep. Bright neon dots a hundred feet in diameter: yet to no ability to connect them.
I’ll say: Baths. Showers are relaxing; baths are not.
Much of my body is sticking out of the water, getting cold. In a normal size tub I cannot submerge my chest, feet and knees. The water begins getting cold as soon as I turn off the spigot, and if I leave a little hot water running I empty out my 30 gallon tank before I approach tranquility — and really, trying to fine tune the temperature of tub-full of water with a slow drip is stressful.
Lying in a short, slippery, fiberglass trough just isn’t very comfortable.
With a shower I can fine tune the temperature in five seconds, get an interesting sensory experience from the rushing water, and forget about the world for 15 or 20 minutes. I do my best thinking in the shower. Often I’ll ponder a personal or professional problem for hours, and a solution will arrive unbidden as I wash my hair in the shower.
I would add to this that, in a hot bath, you pretty soon start getting big beads of sweat on your face and forehead that are annoyingly itchy as they sloooooowly trickle down your face skin, down, down, down.
In a shower that isn’t an issue.
Ooo - I agree with a lot in this thread (showers, haircuts, being waited on in a restaurant, ferries (never mind cruises!)) - but this is the biggie. Background radio or, even worse, background TV. It just drags my eyes to it, even if I have not the slightest interest in what’s on, and mushes my ability to concentrate on anything else. I have to sit with my back to the TV in order to function at any sort of acceptable level.
j
“Rainbow” bowling. Horrendous experience.
Let’s add yoga. I usually enjoy it but I don’t find it relaxing in the slightest. That shit is hard work.
I think also called “glow” bowling.
I used to get occasional Swedish massages, usually on a Groupon kind of deal and I liked them but wasn’t really into the whole idea. I wouldn’t go to a male massage therapist because of abuse and trauma issues so that was another big barrier. Then I got a frozen shoulder. After a year plus of major pain that one started to resolve–just in time to get massive tendinitis in the OTHER shoulder. At this point I started going to my daughter’s friend, who is an LMT who specializes in actual fixing stuff. He’s a very large, rather campy gay man who has a lot more trauma background than I do and is very aware of how triggering physical touch can be. He’s chatty, so am I and so now after six months of weekly massages we’re friends, I’m completely comfortable with him and both my shoulders have improved immensely. Plus, he’s found other parts of my body that had long standing issues (not surprising, car accidents and long term chronic pain will do that to a body) and has fixed them up a treat as well. I sleep better, don’t walk around feeling creaky and broken and both shoulders are well on their way to being tiptop again. I can def see how usual massages can be a bit dicey but therapeutic massage from someone who knows their stuff is freaking magical. And I’m absolutely boneless after he gets done with me, even if I do usually have some fairly spectacular bruises. There’s a deltoid insertion that’s giving everyone a lot of trouble. 
Is that where they turn on neon lights and disco music and the rest is dark? Do people really think of that as “relaxing”? I’ve always thought that was for drunk 20-something parties.
add me to the list! The droning TV at the airport. The white noise my employer pumped in. I always sighed with relief at the end of the day when the white noise was turned off.
Long hair is not that hard to cut – if it’s not yours. It’s really hard to cut your own hair and have it come out straight. Ask a housemate or close friend.
The “normal” tub in the US is designed for bathing small children, and contractors use it because it’s cheap and I guess some people think they want a tub, but don’t plan to actually use it.
I finally spent a boatload of money to upgrade my master bath to have a tub deep enough that I can submerge everything but my head. It’s not quite as nice as the Japanese tubs (which are short – you bend your legs – but very deep, so you sit up with everything but your head under water) but I enjoy bathing again.
Some of the things people have mentioned, like dancing and eating at new restaurants, are things I enjoy but I’d never call them “relaxing”.
Weed. It doesn’t have the same effect on me that it has on others, which is a shame because I could use some help with my anxieties.
There are quite a few videos on YouTube about cutting your own hair.
I swear, you could probably learn how to do open-heart surgery from YouTube.
Taking showers is among the most relaxing things in my life. How is a moment of solitude while getting clean and warm, not relaxing? Hot water pouring over my body feels like a thousand tiny hands were giving me a massage, simultaneously 
. After good food and good sex, it’s the next best ordinary sensory thing there is.
Driving is not relaxing to me, however. I learned to drive late, I’m not very good at it, and I’m fully aware of how a slight mistake, including those of all the other drivers, may result in an accident where people get hurt. Driving is tolerable, at best, and usually worse.
Haircuts and mani/pedis. I have the small talk ability of a clam and sit there in wretched silence trying to be normal. Never ever works.