# Things parents say to their kids that may not be quite accurate…
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-parents-say-to-their-kids-that-may-not-be-quite-accurate/791961
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
**Created:** [July 23, 2017, 7:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-parents-say-to-their-kids-that-may-not-be-quite-accurate/791961 "2017-07-23T19:41:08Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 1
### Author:  [@Northern\_Piper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Northern_Piper)
#### Post date: [July 23, 2017, 7:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-parents-say-to-their-kids-that-may-not-be-quite-accurate/791961/1 "2017-07-23T19:41:08Z")
The Piper Cub made a bit of a mess in the TV room. I told him to tidy up and kept working on the dishes.
Heard a noise, turned around and there he was with his red light sabre.
“I am a Sith Lord,” he grimly announced.
“Even so, Smith Lords tidy up after themselves,” I said.
Defeated, he sighed and went off to tidy up.
As I did the washing-up, I thought “Actually, Smith Lords generally don’t tidy up after themselves. Oh well, seems to have worked.” 😃
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### Author:  [@Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malleus_Incus_Stapes)
#### Post date: [July 23, 2017, 8:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-parents-say-to-their-kids-that-may-not-be-quite-accurate/791961/2 "2017-07-23T20:03:50Z")
Sith lords don’t tidy up, but Smith lords do.
(Having a bad autocorrect day? :D)
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### Author:  [@Darren\_Garrison](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darren_Garrison)
#### Post date: [July 23, 2017, 8:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-parents-say-to-their-kids-that-may-not-be-quite-accurate/791961/3 "2017-07-23T20:25:00Z")
At least he didn’t claim to be a Traci Lord.
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### Author:  [@Aquadementia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aquadementia)
#### Post date: [July 23, 2017, 8:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-parents-say-to-their-kids-that-may-not-be-quite-accurate/791961/4 "2017-07-23T20:49:07Z")
Sith lords would have planed years in advance to convince someone else they willingly made the mess of their own free will and are righteously entitled to have done so.
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### Author:  [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)
#### Post date: [July 23, 2017, 11:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-parents-say-to-their-kids-that-may-not-be-quite-accurate/791961/5 "2017-07-23T23:10:40Z")
“I am a Sith Lord,” he grimly announced.
“Even so, Smith Lords tidy up after themselves,” I said.
The correct response would be “I am not the cleaning lady you’re looking for.” _makes hand motion_
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### Author:  [@Northern\_Piper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Northern_Piper)
#### Post date: [July 24, 2017, 12:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-parents-say-to-their-kids-that-may-not-be-quite-accurate/791961/6 "2017-07-24T00:50:47Z")
> [@running\_coach](#):
>
> “I am a Sith Lord,” he grimly announced.
>
> “Even so, Smith Lords tidy up after themselves,” I said.
>
> The correct response would be “I am not the cleaning lady you’re looking for.” _makes hand motion_
I think that would have been lost on the Cub. He enjoys Star Wars, but has not made a detailed study of the œuvre. 🙂
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### Author:  [@Northern\_Piper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Northern_Piper)
#### Post date: [July 24, 2017, 12:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-parents-say-to-their-kids-that-may-not-be-quite-accurate/791961/7 "2017-07-24T00:52:34Z")
> [@Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](#):
>
> Sith lords don’t tidy up, but Smith lords do.
>
> (Having a bad autocorrect day? :D)
I put it down to a disturbance in the Force. :eek:
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### Author:  [@Captain\_Amazing](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Captain_Amazing)
#### Post date: [July 24, 2017, 3:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-parents-say-to-their-kids-that-may-not-be-quite-accurate/791961/8 "2017-07-24T03:58:06Z")
Gabe, from the webcomic Penny Arcade, talks about how Sith Lords litter:
> **[A Funny Dad Story - Penny Arcade](https://www.penny-arcade.com/news/post/2010/02/17/a-funny-dad-story)**
>
> Videogaming-related online strip by Mike Krahulik and Jerry Holkins. Includes news and commentary.
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### Author:  [@TruCelt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TruCelt)
#### Post date: [July 24, 2017, 4:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-parents-say-to-their-kids-that-may-not-be-quite-accurate/791961/9 "2017-07-24T04:35:19Z")
I told the Celtling that crickets really like it in the sewer. There are lots of other crickets down there, and plenty of food from all the garbage disposals, so it’s really cricket heaven.
That’s why we always catch them in a tissue and flush them down the toilet.
Hey, none of them ever came back to complain!
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### Author:  [@Maastricht](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maastricht)
#### Post date: [July 24, 2017, 6:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-parents-say-to-their-kids-that-may-not-be-quite-accurate/791961/10 "2017-07-24T06:06:11Z")
Me: “Ninja’s never give up, they don’t quit. So get back to sorting Lego’s, young man.”
My then seven year old: " But ninja’s do take breaks, don’t they ?".
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### Author:  [@PatrickLondon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PatrickLondon)
#### Post date: [July 24, 2017, 7:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-parents-say-to-their-kids-that-may-not-be-quite-accurate/791961/11 "2017-07-24T07:55:59Z")
My father once taught me a simple rule to know whether to be afraid of a wasp or not:“No, that one’s all right, it’s got yellow stripes on a black background; it’s the ones with black stripes on a yellow background you have to look out for”.
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### Author:  [@Princhester](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Princhester)
#### Post date: [July 24, 2017, 8:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-parents-say-to-their-kids-that-may-not-be-quite-accurate/791961/12 "2017-07-24T08:30:49Z")
> [@Northern\_Piper](#):
>
> “I am a Sith Lord,” he grimly announced.
“Piperling, I am your father”.
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### Author:  [@nightshadea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nightshadea)
#### Post date: [July 24, 2017, 9:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-parents-say-to-their-kids-that-may-not-be-quite-accurate/791961/13 "2017-07-24T09:27:30Z")
Remember the old calvin and Hobbes strips where calvn would ask the dad something and the dad would totally BS it and calvin would either run in horror or try to imitate it? And the mom would sigh and say what did he tell you this time?
That was most of my family…
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### Author:  [@Darren\_Garrison](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darren_Garrison)
#### Post date: [July 24, 2017, 10:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-parents-say-to-their-kids-that-may-not-be-quite-accurate/791961/14 "2017-07-24T10:04:02Z")
> [@Maastricht](#):
>
> Me: “Ninja’s never give up, they don’t quit. So get back to sorting Lego’s, young man.”
>
> My then seven year old: " But ninja’s do take breaks, don’t they ?".
“They also kill people for money or for ideological reasons, Dad. Do you really want to follow this through to the logical conclusion, or do you want to drop the demand that I properly emulate a ninja and let me take a _freaking break_?”
That would have been more awesome.
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### Author:  [@Northern\_Piper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Northern_Piper)
#### Post date: [July 25, 2017, 5:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-parents-say-to-their-kids-that-may-not-be-quite-accurate/791961/15 "2017-07-25T05:55:56Z")
> [@nightshadea](#):
>
> Remember the old calvin and Hobbes strips where calvn would ask the dad something and the dad would totally BS it and calvin would either run in horror or try to imitate it? And the mom would sigh and say what did he tell you this time?
>
> That was most of my family…
As time goes on, more and more I find that Calvin’s Dad is my hero, worthy of emulation in as many ways as possible. 😛
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### Author:  [@xizor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/xizor)
#### Post date: [July 25, 2017, 3:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-parents-say-to-their-kids-that-may-not-be-quite-accurate/791961/16 "2017-07-25T15:51:16Z")
Back when gold teeth were more popular, I admit to telling my child the way to grow a gold tooth was to never stick your tongue in the hole where a baby tooth fell out. If you ever stick your tongue in the whole, a normal tooth will grow.
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### Author:  [@Inner\_Stickler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inner_Stickler)
#### Post date: [July 25, 2017, 4:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-parents-say-to-their-kids-that-may-not-be-quite-accurate/791961/17 "2017-07-25T16:59:21Z")
I was older than I probably should have been when I learned that no, you don’t actually all have to be buckled for the car to move.
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### Author:  [@Doctor\_Jackson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doctor_Jackson)
#### Post date: [July 25, 2017, 8:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-parents-say-to-their-kids-that-may-not-be-quite-accurate/791961/18 "2017-07-25T20:20:01Z")
Apparently, babies do not come from a cabbage patch…
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### Author:  [@C.Blackwood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/C.Blackwood)
#### Post date: [July 27, 2017, 12:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-parents-say-to-their-kids-that-may-not-be-quite-accurate/791961/19 "2017-07-27T00:56:55Z")
When I was a little kid, I spent most weekends and holidays touring Civil War and Revolutionary War Historic Sites. Any time I had a question about what happened, my dad would say, “Ask your mother; she was there.” No WAY my mom was that old.
Plus there was that thing about not going back into the pool until 30 minutes after eating. I’m pretty sure that was wrong too.
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### Author:  [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)
#### Post date: [July 27, 2017, 5:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-parents-say-to-their-kids-that-may-not-be-quite-accurate/791961/20 "2017-07-27T05:29:38Z")
> [@Darren\_Garrison](#):
>
> “They also kill people for money or for ideological reasons, Dad. Do you really want to follow this through to the logical conclusion, or do you want to drop the demand that I properly emulate a ninja and let me take a _freaking break_?”
>
> That would have been more awesome.
\*\*Maastricht \*\*is a Mom.
> [@Northern\_Piper](#):
>
> As time goes on, more and more I find that Calvin’s Dad is my hero, worthy of emulation in as many ways as possible. 😛
I don’t have kids but back when that was a future possibility I thought the same thing. Somehow the potential downsides to raising my very own Calvin never occurred to me. Maybe it’s just as well I never ran that particular experiment? 🙂
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