# Things said to you that left you so dumbfounded you couldn't respond **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [February 5, 2013, 7:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-said-to-you-that-left-you-so-dumbfounded-you-couldnt-respond/649369 "2013-02-05T07:26:42Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Magicicada](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c67d28/32.png) [@Magicicada](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Magicicada)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2013, 4:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-said-to-you-that-left-you-so-dumbfounded-you-couldnt-respond/649369/21 "2013-02-05T16:11:02Z")
I was the housekeeping supervisor at a motel (actually more of a go-between for the housekeeping staff and general manager as I had little actual authority). One housekeeper, a recent hire, was pregnant. We’d tried cutting her some slack, since (a) she was new to the job and (b) she was in her first pregnancy, but she continued to just…drag…along. One day I checked her clipboard and discovered she’d spent all morning cleaning a single room. (Ideally, she should have had 4-5 rooms done by that point.) I went to her and said, “We’re going to have to get you caught up here or you’ll never get done.” She looked at me blankly, placed her hand on her stomach, and said, “But I always try to slow down after lunch. That’s when the baby is sleeping.” As I wrote in my note to the general manager about the incident, I didn’t say anything in response because I just didn’t know what to say. ---
**Author:** ![hogarth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hogarth/32/1773_2.png) [@hogarth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hogarth)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2013, 4:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-said-to-you-that-left-you-so-dumbfounded-you-couldnt-respond/649369/22 "2013-02-05T16:14:23Z")
I saw a scruffy guy using a crowbar to pry the lock off of a bike in broad daylight on a public street. I yelled at him: “Hey, quit stealing that bike!” He rode off on it and yelled at me: “Fuck you, Magoo!!” What kind of answer can you give to a guy with a crowbar saying “Fuck you, Magoo”? ---
**Author:** ![Cheesesteak](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cheesesteak/32/3694_2.png) [@Cheesesteak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cheesesteak)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2013, 4:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-said-to-you-that-left-you-so-dumbfounded-you-couldnt-respond/649369/23 "2013-02-05T16:19:09Z")
Once, while walking into a grocery store, I was stopped by one of the nation’s leading oncologists\* who informed me that swinging your arms while walking was a sure way to get cancer. I may have responded with a “Yeah… thanks.” \*Homeless guy, oncologist… potato, potahto. ---
**Author:** ![Azeotrope](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/0ea827/32.png) [@Azeotrope](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Azeotrope)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2013, 4:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-said-to-you-that-left-you-so-dumbfounded-you-couldnt-respond/649369/24 "2013-02-05T16:21:42Z")
A nice little old lady from my church once asked me, “Did they ever find your father’s murderer?” He died from heart disease. ---
**Author:** ![Sicks\_Ate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/258eb7/32.png) [@Sicks\_Ate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sicks_Ate)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2013, 4:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-said-to-you-that-left-you-so-dumbfounded-you-couldnt-respond/649369/25 "2013-02-05T16:24:00Z")
> [@ugly ripe tomato](#): > > A nice little old lady from my church once asked me, “Did they ever find your father’s murderer?” > > He died from heart disease. That’s when you jerk your thumb towards the sanctuary and say “Yep, he’s in there.” ---
**Author:** ![chrisk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/6de8d8/32.png) [@chrisk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chrisk)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2013, 4:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-said-to-you-that-left-you-so-dumbfounded-you-couldnt-respond/649369/26 "2013-02-05T16:28:26Z")
> [@Iggy](#): > > Me: “9-1-1, where is your emergency?” > Caller: “I need police to come here to deal with [problem]” > Me: “What is the address where you need the police?” > Caller: “_I’ll tell them when they get here._” \ > > It’s 9-1-1, not the psychic hotline folks. Well - not to excuse the stupidity of the caller, but he might have misheard ‘address where’ and thought you were asking about the nature of the problem. Still, “I’ll tell them when they get here” is not a very good answer for that one - just less than mind-blowingly stupid. ---
**Author:** ![Blackberry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ecd19e/32.png) [@Blackberry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blackberry)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2013, 4:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-said-to-you-that-left-you-so-dumbfounded-you-couldnt-respond/649369/27 "2013-02-05T16:32:29Z")
This woman I knew had two kids and was complaining that her husband wouldn’t have sex with her when she was pregnant because he didn’t want the baby to grab his dick. She didn’t see any factual problem with what he said, she was just upset about not getting sex. ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2013, 4:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-said-to-you-that-left-you-so-dumbfounded-you-couldnt-respond/649369/28 "2013-02-05T16:41:03Z")
> [@Sicks\_Ate](#): > > When I was in high school (10th grade, maybe?), I was at a large gathering of students from different schools. My group was locked in a binary orbit with a group that contained a girl who was maybe 5 feet tall. > > Without preface or fanfare, she walked up and said, very sincerely “Can I give you a blow job standing up?” Unless you’re 10 feet tall, how sincere could she have been? ---
**Author:** ![BubbaDog](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bubbadog/32/333_2.png) [@BubbaDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BubbaDog)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2013, 4:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-said-to-you-that-left-you-so-dumbfounded-you-couldnt-respond/649369/29 "2013-02-05T16:44:41Z")
Situation: Wedding reception. Over half of the room is up on the dance floor dancing and has been doing so for the last 45 min. **Drunk Lady:** “Why don’t you put on some music that we can dance to”" **DJ Bubbadog:**" " ---
**Author:** ![Sicks\_Ate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/258eb7/32.png) [@Sicks\_Ate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sicks_Ate)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2013, 4:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-said-to-you-that-left-you-so-dumbfounded-you-couldnt-respond/649369/30 "2013-02-05T16:44:51Z")
> [@VinylTurnip](#): > > Unless you’re 10 feet tall, how sincere could she have been? You’ve never taken a sip from a water fountain, have you. ---
**Author:** ![Jragon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e19b73/32.png) [@Jragon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jragon)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2013, 4:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-said-to-you-that-left-you-so-dumbfounded-you-couldnt-respond/649369/31 "2013-02-05T16:46:16Z")
I was at Staples while they were getting a chair from the back for me (that shopping trip was a whole rant in itself). I was talking to the cashier and mentioned how I was probably going to go to Japan and she said: “Those Chinese girls really love white guys, you’re gonna have a lot of fun.” I… uh… What!? I just kind of muttered gibberish that sounded polite, because there was really nowhere to even start addressing that statement. ---
**Author:** ![destineal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/5f9b8f/32.png) [@destineal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/destineal)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2013, 5:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-said-to-you-that-left-you-so-dumbfounded-you-couldnt-respond/649369/32 "2013-02-05T17:02:44Z")
> [@VinylTurnip](#): > > Unless you’re 10 feet tall, how sincere could she have been? This can be demonstrated using a simple paper towel roll. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2013, 5:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-said-to-you-that-left-you-so-dumbfounded-you-couldnt-respond/649369/33 "2013-02-05T17:02:53Z")
A coworker, devout Catholic, has just learned that I’m an atheist. Her: “I can prove that you’re not an atheist.” Me: “Huh?” Her: “I can prove that you’re not an atheist.” Me: “Ok, prove that I’m not an atheist.” Her: “If you’re an atheist . . .” Me: “If I’m an atheist . . . what?” Her: “If you’re an atheist . . . then who do you pray to?” She absolutely would not believe that some people don’t pray. ---
**Author:** ![Spiff](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spiff/32/9852_2.png) [@Spiff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spiff)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2013, 5:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-said-to-you-that-left-you-so-dumbfounded-you-couldnt-respond/649369/34 "2013-02-05T17:06:52Z")
> [@Hampshire](#): > > weird I still remember this 30 years later. > > I got a paper route when I was 13 and started delivering closest to my home and worked my way out. Old man at the end of the route bitched up a storm cause he got his paper last. > So I do him a favor and run the route in reverse starting with him first and working my way back towards home. > He stops me one day to tell me he really appreciates what I’ve done, wanted to thank me, and oh.. here’s a little something extra for ya… > reaches into his pocket and gives me a quarter. > I hope he got the message by my dumbfounded no response. Was it a _shiny_ quarter? Because those are worth more, doncha know. ---
**Author:** ![Iggy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/iggy/32/3364_2.png) [@Iggy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Iggy)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2013, 5:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-said-to-you-that-left-you-so-dumbfounded-you-couldnt-respond/649369/35 "2013-02-05T17:08:06Z")
> [@Machine\_Elf](#): > > I thought 911 systems could trace a landline caller’s location? Or was this particular dummy on a cell phone? Maybe. In this case no. I really should do an _Ask the 9-1-1 Operator_ thread to explain it in depth. ---
**Author:** ![DMark](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@DMark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DMark)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2013, 5:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-said-to-you-that-left-you-so-dumbfounded-you-couldnt-respond/649369/36 "2013-02-05T17:29:30Z")
I was living in Berlin and came back to the States for a visit to the old hometown. Some questions people asked me: “Do you read German newspapers in German?” “Do they have trucks in Germany?” Then again - while living in Berlin, Germans asked me: “Can I rent a horse and ride through Chicago?” “I read nobody has health insurance in America. Does everyone die when they get sick?” “I am renting a car in December in NYC and driving to Los Angeles - I have a week. What should I see and do on the way to LA and back?” ---
**Author:** ![Furious\_Marmot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/dfb087/32.png) [@Furious\_Marmot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Furious_Marmot)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2013, 5:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-said-to-you-that-left-you-so-dumbfounded-you-couldnt-respond/649369/37 "2013-02-05T17:33:45Z")
“Juicy Juice is 15% lead.” Later that day, I had recovered enough to think she must have meant 15% by weight, because if it was by volume, those cans would be really heavy. ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2013, 5:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-said-to-you-that-left-you-so-dumbfounded-you-couldnt-respond/649369/38 "2013-02-05T17:43:18Z")
Sitting around shooting the shit back in my military days with my friend JW, who is black. Another guy came into the room and sat listening to us for a bit, then out of the blue asks JW: “So if you just don’t cut your hair, will it keep growing out?” We looked at each other in astonishment, then JW got up and left, muttering something like “stupid cracker” under his breath. ---
**Author:** ![Ambivalid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a5b964/32.png) [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2013, 5:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-said-to-you-that-left-you-so-dumbfounded-you-couldnt-respond/649369/39 "2013-02-05T17:46:48Z")
Upon seeing me cross my legs (manually, with my hands), I’ve had people (more than one!) say to me, “Oh, I see you can move your legs. So you aren’t paralyzed then?” 😕 ---
**Author:** ![saje](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/saje/32/3631_2.png) [@saje](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/saje)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2013, 5:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-said-to-you-that-left-you-so-dumbfounded-you-couldnt-respond/649369/40 "2013-02-05T17:56:05Z")
I used to have a Dalmatian who was born deaf. She was a liver (brown spots) and had blue eyes. I trained her with hand signals, and we did all the basic obedience stuff plus some agility for fun, and she’d do things like a flying down and go to the direction I pointed. She pretty much never took her eyes off me. I can’t tell you many times I heard someone say (after watching me very obviously give her hand signal commands) “wow, she does so well for being blind!” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-said-to-you-that-left-you-so-dumbfounded-you-couldnt-respond/649369.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-said-to-you-that-left-you-so-dumbfounded-you-couldnt-respond/649369.md?page=3)