# Things said to you that left you so dumbfounded you couldn't respond **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [February 5, 2013, 7:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-said-to-you-that-left-you-so-dumbfounded-you-couldnt-respond/649369 "2013-02-05T07:26:42Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![yanceylebeef](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yanceylebeef/32/12290_2.png) [@yanceylebeef](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yanceylebeef)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2013, 7:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-said-to-you-that-left-you-so-dumbfounded-you-couldnt-respond/649369/81 "2013-02-06T19:27:11Z")
Oh, Uncle Doug. I had just finished my Tech school in 1987, and was home on leave before heading out to Seoul, South Korea for my first assignment. My folks had a little family gathering, inviting some friends and family over. Uncle Doug (great uncle on my grandma’s side) who was in the Korean war, put an arm around my shoulder and pulled me a way from everyone else so he could give me some (The Graduate type) advise. “When you get over there and start going downrange for drinks, you be careful of them Ornamentals. They’ll take you for everything you got.” I just nodded, and went for another beer, mostly to get away before he started telling stories. ---
**Author:** ![Drunky\_Smurf](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drunky_smurf/32/449_2.png) [@Drunky\_Smurf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drunky_Smurf)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2013, 7:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-said-to-you-that-left-you-so-dumbfounded-you-couldnt-respond/649369/82 "2013-02-06T19:45:12Z")
> [@Trom](#): > > I was standing in a bar with a friend of mine when two girls approached us. One of them proceeded to quickly slap both of us in the balls with the back of her hand and say “That’s how I like to say ‘Hello.’” I hope you kneed that cunt in her cunt. ---
**Author:** ![Sicks\_Ate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/258eb7/32.png) [@Sicks\_Ate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sicks_Ate)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2013, 7:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-said-to-you-that-left-you-so-dumbfounded-you-couldnt-respond/649369/83 "2013-02-06T19:46:45Z")
> [@Drunky\_Smurf](#): > > I hope you kneed that cunt in her cunt. Quite [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LKCN3CSLZuI](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LKCN3CSLZuI) ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2013, 8:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-said-to-you-that-left-you-so-dumbfounded-you-couldnt-respond/649369/84 "2013-02-06T20:08:50Z")
> [@a35362](#): > > Anyway, I was feeling a little fragile and wanted some sympathy and support, so I told my supervisor all this, and I can’t remember her exact words, but she made a “joke” to the effect of, “You know, sometimes they sell their daughters into prostitution – I’ll bet that’s what happened.” > > :eek: 😕 :mad: ☹ > > No words. Oh, god. That would upset me a lot, too, AND I would consider it extremely racist (I’m of Indian descent) and prejudiced. What a bitch. ---
**Author:** ![njtt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ecd19e/32.png) [@njtt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/njtt)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2013, 8:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-said-to-you-that-left-you-so-dumbfounded-you-couldnt-respond/649369/85 "2013-02-06T20:10:35Z")
Checking into a hotel in Washington DC: “Where have you arrived from?” “England.” “Did you drive here?” 😕 ---
**Author:** ![Xema](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/x/9de053/32.png) [@Xema](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Xema)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2013, 8:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-said-to-you-that-left-you-so-dumbfounded-you-couldnt-respond/649369/86 "2013-02-06T20:32:41Z")
> [@Filbert](#): > > Me: ‘Um, sorry, I asked for _live_ daphnia’ > Guy: ‘Yep! This is live!’ > Me: ‘It’s frozen solid’ > Guy: ‘Yep’ > Me: ‘They’re not alive, they’re dead’ > Guy: ‘No, they’re live, they’re just frozen’ > > I couldn’t really think what to say to that. “Can I assume they’re pining for the fiords?” ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2013, 9:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-said-to-you-that-left-you-so-dumbfounded-you-couldnt-respond/649369/87 "2013-02-06T21:07:32Z")
Me: Actually, I’m 1/8th Native American. Co-worker: No you’re not. Me: How do you know I’m not. Co-worker: You don’t look it. This is the same co-worker that complained that only “family” was supposed to be allowed in the back office when I was showing my nieces the building. Me: How are they not my family. My sister legally adopted them. CW: Yes, but she’s a lesbo. That’s not a legal adoption. Me: You didn’t complain when my brother’s adopted son went in the back office. CW: Well, he is your nephew. ---
**Author:** ![Carol\_the\_Impaler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Carol\_the\_Impaler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Carol_the_Impaler)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2013, 11:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-said-to-you-that-left-you-so-dumbfounded-you-couldnt-respond/649369/88 "2013-02-06T23:02:28Z")
This happened more than once, which is dismaying. I am from Nebraska. When I lived in Austin and I would tell people I was from Nebraska I’d get, “What time is it there?” ---
**Author:** ![Imasquare](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Imasquare](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Imasquare)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2013, 11:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-said-to-you-that-left-you-so-dumbfounded-you-couldnt-respond/649369/89 "2013-02-06T23:50:06Z")
> [@Boyo\_Jim](#): > > I was at a Thanksgiving dinner some years back, and the husband started a bunch of ignorant racist comments about Mexicans, and he asked us our plans for when the “brown hordes” came across the border to take over. And he stared at me like, “Everybody _knows_ this this is going to happen soon.” And I stared blankly back, trying to figure out whether he possibly trying to tell some joke that I wasn’t getting. > > But he wasn’t. I would have got up from the table and left. Life is way too long to put up with that sort of behavior. ---
**Author:** ![oft\_wears\_hats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/7993a0/32.png) [@oft\_wears\_hats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/oft_wears_hats)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2013, 1:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-said-to-you-that-left-you-so-dumbfounded-you-couldnt-respond/649369/90 "2013-02-07T01:51:04Z")
At a previous job, there was a co-worker who was the most incredibly obnoxious person I have ever had to work with. She thought she was God’s gift to engineering and was often very condescending to other employees, which was made worse by the fact that her work was pretty damn sloppy. She would write passive-aggressive comments in her code, blaming some other engineer for the way she wrote a given bit. She went to JHU for grad school; I went to JHU for undergrad. When I entered as a freshman, I was given a free coffee mug from the alumni association. It survived my college years and became my standard work mug. Once, I was talking to her about something work-related and she noticed that my mug bore the JHU seal. She asked me if I had gone to JHU, and I said I had. She noticed that it said “Welcome to JHU from the Alumni Association” and asked me if I was in the Alumni Association (she was). I said “No, the AA gave the mugs to entering freshman as gifts, and that’s how I got it.” She said “Oh, so I paid for your mug” in a kind of tone that suggested that I owed her something. Sure, whatever, you paid for my mug. ---
**Author:** ![Battle\_Pope](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4bbf92/32.png) [@Battle\_Pope](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Battle_Pope)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2013, 2:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-said-to-you-that-left-you-so-dumbfounded-you-couldnt-respond/649369/91 "2013-02-07T02:14:06Z")
A few years ago I was in town to meet some friends for a drink. I was running early and was just leaning up against a wall watching the world go buy. A rather scruffy looking guys walks up to me & asks “Are you a cop?” “No” “Well you look like a cop just standing there. People hate cops. Someone might come along and shoot you.” And then he just walked away. 😕 ---
**Author:** ![joyfool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/df788c/32.png) [@joyfool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/joyfool)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2013, 2:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-said-to-you-that-left-you-so-dumbfounded-you-couldnt-respond/649369/92 "2013-02-07T02:14:06Z")
Ha **yanceylebeef**! That reminded me of the one time that my mother warned us about transvestites that lived under bridges and would panhandle for money. Transients, mom. Transients. ---
**Author:** ![Cazzle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cazzle/32/75_2.png) [@Cazzle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cazzle)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2013, 2:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-said-to-you-that-left-you-so-dumbfounded-you-couldnt-respond/649369/93 "2013-02-07T02:15:48Z")
“You’re sexy, just like your mother” ---
**Author:** ![usedtobe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/ec9cab/32.png) [@usedtobe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/usedtobe)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2013, 2:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-said-to-you-that-left-you-so-dumbfounded-you-couldnt-respond/649369/94 "2013-02-07T02:24:01Z")
> [@Lasciel](#): > > What good timing. > > Yesterday, a patron comes up to the desk. Young lady, maybe low 20s? Friendly, but concerned. “My account number won’t work.” > > “Pardon me?” > > “My card number - I tried to use it online, and it wouldn’t work.” (this is \*not \*a valid sequence of words for how our system works) > > “… ooo-kay. Show me what you mean.” > > We walk over to her computer, and she points at the current page showing - an application to a business chain. There’s a fairly standard Log In box asking for user name and password. “It keeps saying that it’s invalid.” > > Pause, while my brain tried to assemble logic from these words and that visual information. “Um. Wait - you tried to use your library card number to access this website?” > > “Umm hmm! The lady at the desk said all I needed was my card number and password.” > > Longer pause while I mentally staggered around. “Have you applied to this company before?” > > “Nope, yesterday I used it for some hospital application :eek:, but it looks like the computer forgot it. So you need to fix it so it works again.” > > Even longer pause while I contemplate whether banging my head into the monitor would help the situation. “I. Um. Ok.” Pause. “I’ll be back in a minute.” > > After a bit of time unscrambling my brains, I returned to sit down with her and try to explain the concept of websites, and how they don’t talk to each other, and how she needs to NOT use things like her library card number as her log-in names or passwords, and how she needs to keep track of the places that she’s applying so she can check back with them (not that I’m particularly hopeful of her needing to worry about them calling her back.. ). I \*don’t \*think it sunk in, but I did try. > > I just… I don’t… How? You’ve never heard of the Soc Security card number in the wallet? You really need to google that one - back when SS was new, people had an idea that they would get a card of some sort, somehow. A company making cheap wallets had someone’s card duplicated and inserted in a window (much like the pretty people picture which comes in picture frames). A few hundred people thought _that_ was their card, and gave that number to their employers. Once the system got digitized, that first numeric sort caused a great deal of greif - and entire page of the same account number - all with different names. ---
**Author:** ![Chef\_Troy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/85f322/32.png) [@Chef\_Troy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chef_Troy)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2013, 2:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-said-to-you-that-left-you-so-dumbfounded-you-couldnt-respond/649369/95 "2013-02-07T02:33:41Z")
This one happened to me about three or four weeks ago. I have a friend on Facebook who mostly shares the latest conservative tripe. Now, he and I are both graduates of the same military school and a LOT of our fellow “old boys” have turned out to be rock-ribbed conservatives, which I don’t have a problem with – but this guy’s lack of critical thinking skills make me crazy. To my fellow alums’ credit, a LOT of them – including some conservatives – are happy to jump in and tell him the thing he just shared is full of shit, and so is he. Some lovely, lovely arguments have resulted. Anyway, this time it was a patently ridiculous and NASTILY slanted piece about how Costco is now offering halal meat, and how this was horrifying for the following untrue reasons, blah blah blah. (for anyone who doesn’t know, halal is basically the Muslim equivalent of kosher.) Ready for the jaw-dropping part? After… someone … posted a link to a Snopes article that debunked what my friend was sharing, he replied, “Well, you know, _Snopes has a liberal bias._” :eek: I… guessssss? In that compared to the, how shall I put this, flagrant LIES you keep posting, snopes is full of facts – and we all know that **facts** have a liberal bias. Is THAT what you’re saying, here, Ignorant Friend? :rolleyes: It was this exchange (which actually went on to plumb hitherto untapped levels of crazy) that finally got me to change my friend settings so I no longer see anything from him but status updates. ---
**Author:** ![Leaffan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leaffan/32/299_2.png) [@Leaffan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaffan)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2013, 3:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-said-to-you-that-left-you-so-dumbfounded-you-couldnt-respond/649369/96 "2013-02-07T03:59:53Z")
> [@Chef\_Troy](#): > > It was this exchange (which actually went on to plumb hitherto untapped levels of crazy) that finally got me to change my friend settings so I no longer see anything from him but status updates. Hey, I don’t mean to hijack, but that’s all I ever see on Facebook: status updates. As you may have surmised I’m not a frequent user of Facebook, but isn’t status updates pretty much the whole thing? ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2013, 4:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-said-to-you-that-left-you-so-dumbfounded-you-couldnt-respond/649369/97 "2013-02-07T04:19:31Z")
Two college experiences: 1. My friends had picked up some random dude and were giving him a ride to the grocery store; I was along for the ride, and asked him where he was from. He named a town on the Olympic Peninsula, “up 101, northeast,” he said. We were in Olympia. “Northwest, right?” (Of course it didn’t matter, but even then I was a Doper at heart). “No, no,” he said. “Northeast.” “I’m pretty sure 101 runs Northwest.” “Yeah, but,” and he started gesturing with his hands, “the earth spins west to east, man.” He just got weirder from there. 2. The other time someone said something that dumbfounded me was when I was walking to class one morning, and a donkey brayed at me from behind. I spun around to look. No donkey. But as I looked for whoever made that perfect donkey noise, it came again, and finally I located the rascal: it was a crow, sitting in a sapling a few feet away, staring at me out of a beady eye. As I watched, it gave a third, pitch-perfect bray, and flew away. My best guess is it had learned the trick on a nearby farm, but good lord, was that ever weird. ---
**Author:** ![Gleena](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b3f665/32.png) [@Gleena](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gleena)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2013, 4:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-said-to-you-that-left-you-so-dumbfounded-you-couldnt-respond/649369/98 "2013-02-07T04:21:50Z")
I think I’ve posted this before, but when I got pregnant (many years ago) I was living in MI and working for a smallish company. I told my boss after the requisite 12 weeks and he asked me if I wanted a coat hanger. I…just sort of stood there, and then wandered off. I was young and sort of ill (I was hyperemetic anyway) and I had absolutely no idea at all how to respond to that. ---
**Author:** ![Chef\_Troy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/85f322/32.png) [@Chef\_Troy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chef_Troy)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2013, 5:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-said-to-you-that-left-you-so-dumbfounded-you-couldnt-respond/649369/99 "2013-02-07T05:05:48Z")
> [@Leaffan](#): > > Hey, I don’t mean to hijack, but that’s all I ever see on Facebook: status updates. > > As you may have surmised I’m not a frequent user of Facebook, but isn’t status updates pretty much the whole thing? I was differentiating between a true status update (e.g., someone actually types something themselves like “I just saw the cutest kitten at my sister’s house!”) and a share, where they share something someone else posted like a story from another website or a photo. My friend does make the occasional status update, usually about the military school we both went to – his whole life revolves around the memory of that school and being a graduate of it – but mostly he shares obnoxious photoshopped pictures of the president and the latest conservapedia entry. I’ve blocked those, but I let the updates through because he’s the most reliable source of news about our former school, and I like hearing about it when one of us drops dead. Oh yeah - almost forgot another category of Facebook post: The game notification. GOD I hate those. ---
**Author:** ![Accidental\_Martyr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ce7236/32.png) [@Accidental\_Martyr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Accidental_Martyr)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2013, 5:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-said-to-you-that-left-you-so-dumbfounded-you-couldnt-respond/649369/100 "2013-02-07T05:39:32Z")
> [@usedtobe](#): > > You’ve never heard of the Soc Security card number in the wallet? > > You really need to google that one - back when SS was new, people had an idea that they would get a card of some sort, somehow. > A company making cheap wallets had someone’s card duplicated and inserted in a window (much like the pretty people picture which comes in picture frames). > A few hundred people thought _that_ was their card, and gave that number to their employers. > Once the system got digitized, that first numeric sort caused a great deal of greif - and entire page of the same account number - all with different names. ## The Woolworth Social Security Card [The Woolworth Social Security Card | Snopes.com](http://www.snopes.com/business/taxes/woolworth.asp) I’ve worked in TV/video production as a cameraman for over 15 years. On two occasions when I was shooting video a person has asked me if I worked for the newspaper. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-said-to-you-that-left-you-so-dumbfounded-you-couldnt-respond/649369.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-said-to-you-that-left-you-so-dumbfounded-you-couldnt-respond/649369.md?page=6)