# Things script writers get wrong every time. **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [February 4, 2017, 6:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-script-writers-get-wrong-every-time/778999 "2017-02-04T18:48:29Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2017, 1:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-script-writers-get-wrong-every-time/778999/41 "2017-02-06T13:03:56Z")
> [@The\_Pork-Chop\_Express](#): > > You see this one a lot in medieval/fantasy tv shows and movies: people stabbing their swords into the ground, either as some kind of statement or because they have nowhere else to put it. > > Would never happen. It would take a lot of time and effort to keep the point of a sword sharp, so voluntarily reducing its effectiveness would be crazy. > > “Hey, I’m gonna fuck up my sword so it’s worse at killing folk, but I sure look cool!” Actually, it did happen. Once. In the 15th century, two swords, stabbed point down into the dirt while their owners joined the [Regent](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Magdalena_of_France) inside a tent that they wouldn’t be allowed to leave until they’d reached an agreement she could live with. But it was so rare that the [two swords and a crown](http://www.aoiz.es/) representing the three-way meeting became the blazon of the little hamlet, raised to the status of village and made head of an electoral circunscription in commemoration. ---
**Author:** ![DesertDog](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/desertdog/32/11503_2.png) [@DesertDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DesertDog)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2017, 1:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-script-writers-get-wrong-every-time/778999/42 "2017-02-06T13:11:48Z")
> [@alphaboi867](#): > > Women in period pieces always seem to follow grooming practices of then the film/TV series is filmed, rather than when it’s set. This. I love westerns and I’m always amused by the way the women of the Olde West have various hair styles, depending on when the movie was made. ---
**Author:** ![Rushgeekgirl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rushgeekgirl/32/3715_2.png) [@Rushgeekgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rushgeekgirl)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2017, 1:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-script-writers-get-wrong-every-time/778999/43 "2017-02-06T13:34:15Z")
> [@Peter\_Morris](#): > > The hacker types quickly on a computer keyboard. Every single key press makes a small beep sound. In the movie iBoy you get to see flashing: HACKING…HACKING…HACKING… HACKING COMPLETE! ---
**Author:** ![Yllaria](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yllaria/32/3452_2.png) [@Yllaria](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yllaria)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2017, 1:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-script-writers-get-wrong-every-time/778999/44 "2017-02-06T13:40:39Z")
> [@DesertDog](#): > > This. I love westerns and I’m always amused by the way the women of the Olde West have various hair styles, depending on when the movie was made. Sometimes you can date a movie by the eye makeup, too. ---
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2017, 2:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-script-writers-get-wrong-every-time/778999/45 "2017-02-06T14:06:55Z")
Come to think of it, wouldn’t resting swords in the ground make them _more_ deadly since they would pick up bacteria such that any nick would introduce fatal wounds? Wouldn’t help in combat of course. > [@Nava](#): > > Actually, it did happen. > > Once. > > In the 15th century For 20 minutes. Thank you, I’ll be here all millennium! ---
**Author:** ![The\_Pork-Chop\_Express](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e9bcb4/32.png) [@The\_Pork-Chop\_Express](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Pork-Chop_Express)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2017, 2:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-script-writers-get-wrong-every-time/778999/46 "2017-02-06T14:21:29Z")
> [@Nava](#): > > Actually, it did happen. > > Once. > > In the 15th century, two swords, stabbed point down into the dirt while their owners joined the [Regent](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Magdalena_of_France) inside a tent that they wouldn’t be allowed to leave until they’d reached an agreement she could live with. > > But it was so rare that the [two swords and a crown](http://www.aoiz.es/) representing the three-way meeting became the blazon of the little hamlet, raised to the status of village and made head of an electoral circunscription in commemoration. Interesting! But I’d bet those two weren’t proper swordsmen, more probably titled idlers toadying like billy bedamned. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Pork-Chop\_Express](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e9bcb4/32.png) [@The\_Pork-Chop\_Express](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Pork-Chop_Express)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2017, 2:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-script-writers-get-wrong-every-time/778999/47 "2017-02-06T14:23:54Z")
> [@Ludovic](#): > > Come to think of it, wouldn’t resting swords in the ground make them _more_ deadly since they would pick up bacteria such that any nick would introduce fatal wounds? Wouldn’t help in combat of course. If that was my game, I’d carry around a dead rat with whose rancid guts I would coat my killing steel. More fit for purpose! ---
**Author:** ![Kimballkid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/b5a626/32.png) [@Kimballkid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kimballkid)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2017, 4:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-script-writers-get-wrong-every-time/778999/48 "2017-02-06T16:51:34Z")
> [@Cat\_Whisperer](#): > > The movie “Fargo” got it the closest to right, but they still have a big flub when they had William Macy’s character scrape his car before he started it - I and no one I know would ever do it in that order. I do it that way pretty much all the time. I hate wasting gas. ---
**Author:** ![Gedd](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gedd/32/4938_2.png) [@Gedd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gedd)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2017, 5:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-script-writers-get-wrong-every-time/778999/49 "2017-02-06T17:04:50Z")
The freedom everyday people have to wander around. High school kids - “I have class, but go hang with my friends outside.” Police officers - “I’m on patrol, but I just thought of something relating to a crime so I’ll visit a suspect’s house.” I’m sure there are more, I can’t think of them now though. ---
**Author:** ![Projammer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/projammer/32/559_2.png) [@Projammer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Projammer)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2017, 5:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-script-writers-get-wrong-every-time/778999/50 "2017-02-06T17:17:55Z")
We could probably fill another thread with the things that are not even remotely right with computers and information technology in general. Law enforcement agents hacking other agencies and businesses. (Looking at NCIS) Unless your job description is ‘hacking’ and you have a work order that says ‘Hack Amazon’, you can kiss that security clearance goodbye. You hack a state or federal agency and you’re looking at a lovely stay at the Hotel Gitmo. Moving onto online history. The suspect purchased a knife matching the murder weapon in 2013 from [random website]. Where’s your warrant for [random website] and how did you justify it? You hacked their store database? See above. About the only way to get this info without a warrant is if they made a public post it on FaceSpace and their FS security settings allow everyone to see your public posts. Okay. I’ve got a warrant for their credit card records and found the knife purchase there. Nope again. You might have found the transaction for the purchase but CC companies don’t get itemized receipts. They have the purchase total and that’s it. You can’t tell from the transaction log whether they bought a knife or a bottle of taint oil. Finally for this post. All the internet companies seem to have their home office right there in the city where the detective can conveniently deliver the warrant or just twist someones arm if they didn’t have time to get a warrant. ---
**Author:** ![Channing\_Idaho\_Banks](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/channing_idaho_banks/32/250_2.png) [@Channing\_Idaho\_Banks](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Channing_Idaho_Banks)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2017, 5:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-script-writers-get-wrong-every-time/778999/51 "2017-02-06T17:21:07Z")
Cinderella moments where a person is brought back to life by a loved one, and are unharmed. Mi3, The Fifth Element. ---
**Author:** ![jz78817](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jz78817/32/1028_2.png) [@jz78817](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jz78817)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2017, 5:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-script-writers-get-wrong-every-time/778999/52 "2017-02-06T17:27:32Z")
> [@Gedd](#): > > High school kids - “I have class, but go hang with my friends outside.” I think kids’ characters are [poorly-written](http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/MostWritersAreAdults) by and large. It’s a big reason I can’t stand sitcoms. Children on TV are nearly always sarcastic little adults who have a snarky wisecrack at the ready all of the time. I see these things and I’m like “what kid acts like this, really?” Nobody I know of; not when I was one, and not now. ---
**Author:** ![Saint\_Cad](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/saint_cad/32/18907_2.png) [@Saint\_Cad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Saint_Cad)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2017, 6:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-script-writers-get-wrong-every-time/778999/53 "2017-02-06T18:46:41Z")
No matter if a scabbard is metal, leather or wood, every time it comes in or goes out - SHHHHHIIIINNNK. Think of Michonne’s katana in The Walking Dead. The scabbard is wood and if it scraped metal as much as it sounds like every time it was used it would be a nub by now. ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2017, 7:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-script-writers-get-wrong-every-time/778999/54 "2017-02-06T19:20:04Z")
That’s really not the writer’s problem now, is it? I’d blame that sort of thing on a lazy sound editor. Unless the writer actually put “SHHHHIIIINNNK” in the script, of course. Then by all means blame him! ---
**Author:** ![muldoonthief](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muldoonthief/32/3188_2.png) [@muldoonthief](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/muldoonthief)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2017, 7:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-script-writers-get-wrong-every-time/778999/55 "2017-02-06T19:31:36Z")
> [@Dale\_Sams](#): > > Maybe his heater is broken like in my car. Jerry was the sales manager at a car dealership. No reason he’d be driving a car that wasn’t in perfect condition. ---
**Author:** ![Projammer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/projammer/32/559_2.png) [@Projammer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Projammer)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2017, 7:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-script-writers-get-wrong-every-time/778999/56 "2017-02-06T19:40:40Z")
I really shouldn’t have narrowed it down to just scriptwriters. Really doing things wrong in a show or movie takes a team effort. S/he doesn’t decide to use that lame-ass character search password breaker. Probably. I still need to have words with the bozo that did make the decision. Admitted, the real deal has zero excitement to watch, but I’m sure there’s a better mockup out there somewhere. Consider the scope expanded to take in everyone who decides what and how things are done. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2017, 7:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-script-writers-get-wrong-every-time/778999/57 "2017-02-06T19:42:21Z")
> [@jz78817](#): > > I think what really irritates me the most is what TV Tropes calls [SoCalization.](http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/SoCalization) Meaning, pretending things are the same everywhere else in the country as they are in SoCal. This shows up in NCIS a lot. Around DC, we don’t refer to our main interstate as “the 95” or its spur as “the 395”. We do say “the beltway” but no one that I know around here has ever prefixed a route number with “the” - well, except when the number is used as an adjective, as in “the 95 bypass” or “the 495 north exit.” Crap like that takes me right out of a story. ---
**Author:** ![jz78817](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jz78817/32/1028_2.png) [@jz78817](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jz78817)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2017, 8:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-script-writers-get-wrong-every-time/778999/58 "2017-02-06T20:11:00Z")
> [@FairyChatMom](#): > > This shows up in NCIS a lot. Around DC, we don’t refer to our main interstate as “the 95” or its spur as “the 395”. We do say “the beltway” but no one that I know around here has ever prefixed a route number with “the” - well, except when the number is used as an adjective, as in “the 95 bypass” or “the 495 north exit.” Crap like that takes me right out of a story. same. I’ve heard “the 94” from media sources. in reality, if we speak of a freeway, we either use its official designation (I-94, I-96, I-75, etc.) leave off the “I” and call them 94, 96, 75, etc) or use their old names before numbering and the Interstate system (e.g. the Ford freeway, the Jeffries, the Chrysler freeway, etc.) ---
**Author:** ![GESancMan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gesancman/32/2923_2.png) [@GESancMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GESancMan)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2017, 10:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-script-writers-get-wrong-every-time/778999/59 "2017-02-06T22:34:31Z")
> [@Grrr](#): > > Apparently, every hospital in the world has a “Dr. Blair” and a “Dr. J Hamilton” that works there. > > This can be gleaned by listening to the lady in the background on the hospital intercom… It’s not just on screen. Those doctors even work at the hospital in Queensryche’s _Operation Mindcrime_. ---
**Author:** ![whitetho](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/whitetho/32/1059_2.png) [@whitetho](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/whitetho)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2017, 11:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-script-writers-get-wrong-every-time/778999/60 "2017-02-06T23:35:48Z")
Hugh Laurie complained that some writers didn’t even know their own industry. In particular, he noted that not once in his entire career has an exasperated director paused shooting after saying something along the lines of “Take five, everybody!” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-script-writers-get-wrong-every-time/778999.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-script-writers-get-wrong-every-time/778999.md?page=4)