# Things stupid songs have taught you **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [December 11, 2014, 4:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-stupid-songs-have-taught-you/706950 "2014-12-11T16:51:39Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Leaffan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leaffan/32/299_2.png) [@Leaffan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaffan)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2014, 3:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-stupid-songs-have-taught-you/706950/41 "2014-12-12T03:54:39Z")
I learned a thing or two from Charlie, don’tcha know. ---
**Author:** ![Wolf333](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wolf333/32/3460_2.png) [@Wolf333](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wolf333)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2014, 3:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-stupid-songs-have-taught-you/706950/42 "2014-12-12T03:57:07Z")
> [@Boyo\_Jim](#): > > I learned not to be a hero, not to be a fool with my life. Well, We Don’t Need Another Hero. ---
**Author:** ![Fear\_Itself](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fear_itself/32/19637_2.png) [@Fear\_Itself](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fear_Itself)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2014, 4:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-stupid-songs-have-taught-you/706950/43 "2014-12-12T04:03:52Z")
I learned you put the lime in the coconut and drink them both up. ---
**Author:** ![dzeiger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/46a35a/32.png) [@dzeiger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dzeiger)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2014, 4:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-stupid-songs-have-taught-you/706950/44 "2014-12-12T04:04:30Z")
Having a lonely heart is much better than having a broken heart. ---
**Author:** ![jimbuff314](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/c57346/32.png) [@jimbuff314](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jimbuff314)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2014, 4:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-stupid-songs-have-taught-you/706950/45 "2014-12-12T04:06:28Z")
> [@Fear\_Itself](#): > > I learned you put the lime in the coconut and drink them both up. I tried that. **Yuck!** Damn gorillas. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2014, 4:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-stupid-songs-have-taught-you/706950/46 "2014-12-12T04:17:48Z")
> [@Sefton](#): > > … > > I learned about [Werner von Braun](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QEJ9HrZq7Ro) from Tom Lehrer, but I wouldn’t call anything by Tom Lehrer stupid. Still, hard to believe that he was concerned where the rocket went up, but not where it came down. It certainly WAS his department, that Werner von Braun. ---
**Author:** ![Peanuthead](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/peanuthead/32/360_2.png) [@Peanuthead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Peanuthead)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2014, 4:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-stupid-songs-have-taught-you/706950/47 "2014-12-12T04:28:08Z")
Roger Miller taught me that I can’t roller skate in a buffalo herd. (Not that I was about to try it though.) ---
**Author:** ![jimbuff314](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/c57346/32.png) [@jimbuff314](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jimbuff314)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2014, 4:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-stupid-songs-have-taught-you/706950/48 "2014-12-12T04:34:10Z")
I never learned to roller skate. I always wanted to, especially at family gatherings. (Well, now that I’ve given away my last name, I just want to say: “Yes. I was waiting for this one.”) ---
**Author:** ![cochrane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cochrane/32/10441_2.png) [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2014, 4:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-stupid-songs-have-taught-you/706950/49 "2014-12-12T04:46:52Z")
I learned Oz never gave nothin’ to the Tin Man that he didn’t, didn’t already have. ---
**Author:** ![Joey\_P](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/919ad9/32.png) [@Joey\_P](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Joey_P)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2014, 4:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-stupid-songs-have-taught-you/706950/50 "2014-12-12T04:56:51Z")
> [@JKilez](#): > > There are 50 ways to leave a lover. > [@BurnMeUp](#): > > But Paul Simon will only tell you about half a dozen or so - the discovery of rest is an exercise for the listener. > [@astorian](#): > > Fake your own death, Seth > > Catch the next train, Shane > > Move to Detroit, Hoyt > > Just run away, Jay Jump off a cliff…Cliff ---
**Author:** ![tripthicket](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripthicket/32/297_2.png) [@tripthicket](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tripthicket)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2014, 5:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-stupid-songs-have-taught-you/706950/51 "2014-12-12T05:06:49Z")
He’s never gonna give me up, never gonna let me down…that poor man must be head over heels. And I’ve never even met him! ---
**Author:** ![tripthicket](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripthicket/32/297_2.png) [@tripthicket](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tripthicket)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2014, 5:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-stupid-songs-have-taught-you/706950/52 "2014-12-12T05:08:00Z")
Fake your own death, Seth. ---
**Author:** ![salinqmind](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3ec8ea/32.png) [@salinqmind](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/salinqmind)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2014, 5:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-stupid-songs-have-taught-you/706950/53 "2014-12-12T05:14:18Z")
I found that playing games with all the boys till way after dark, in Cherry Hill Park, has led me to a grand new life with A Man With Money! Who SAYS being a screwed up 'ho isn’t a great career move? ---
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2014, 6:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-stupid-songs-have-taught-you/706950/54 "2014-12-12T06:52:44Z")
> [@vertizontal](#): > > …in the desert, you can’t remember your name, 'cause there ain’t no one for to give you no pain. Thank you, I mean Fuck you for confirming my suspicion that reading these lyrics will cause as much pain to my eyes as hearing them causes pain to my ears! I’ve learned: You’ve got to start from the start Only time will tell if we stand the test of time The Night time is the Right time ---
**Author:** ![Peter\_Morris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/peter_morris/32/359_2.png) [@Peter\_Morris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Peter_Morris)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2014, 9:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-stupid-songs-have-taught-you/706950/55 "2014-12-12T09:29:44Z")
> [@JKilez](#): > > There are 50 ways to leave a lover. > [@BurnMeUp](#): > > But Paul Simon will only tell you about half a dozen or so - the discovery of rest is an exercise for the listener. [Dopers to the rescue](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=481147) ---
**Author:** ![Becky2844](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/91b2a8/32.png) [@Becky2844](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Becky2844)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2014, 10:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-stupid-songs-have-taught-you/706950/56 "2014-12-12T10:13:23Z")
I learned that if dim lights, thick smoke, and loud, loud music is the only kind of you’ll ever understand—you’ll never make a wife for a home lovin’ man. ---
**Author:** ![Becky2844](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/91b2a8/32.png) [@Becky2844](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Becky2844)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2014, 10:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-stupid-songs-have-taught-you/706950/57 "2014-12-12T10:17:26Z")
You can’t roller skate in a buffalo herd. ---
**Author:** ![Lukeinva](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lukeinva/32/17872_2.png) [@Lukeinva](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lukeinva)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2014, 12:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-stupid-songs-have-taught-you/706950/58 "2014-12-12T12:04:59Z")
I learned that you can’t get no satisfaction. ---
**Author:** ![cochrane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cochrane/32/10441_2.png) [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2014, 12:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-stupid-songs-have-taught-you/706950/59 "2014-12-12T12:07:06Z")
> [@tripthicket](#): > > Fake your own death, Seth. [Didn’t astorian already say that?](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=17969748&postcount=14) ---
**Author:** ![Edward\_The\_Head](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ce73a5/32.png) [@Edward\_The\_Head](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Edward_The_Head)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2014, 12:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-stupid-songs-have-taught-you/706950/60 "2014-12-12T12:29:51Z")
> [@Zsofia](#): > > And Mr. Croce was totally correct in that you should never start a fight (or play pool for money with) anybody named Slim, or for that matter named for any bodily characteristic, or come to think of it for something like a city. His sage advice was even better then that, it was “Don’t mess with people strange to you, even if you do have a two piece, custom made, pool cue.” However, Jim Croce has no stupid songs. :mad: [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-stupid-songs-have-taught-you/706950.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-stupid-songs-have-taught-you/706950.md?page=4)