# Things stupid songs have taught you **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [December 11, 2014, 4:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-stupid-songs-have-taught-you/706950 "2014-12-11T16:51:39Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![Amateur\_Barbarian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/59ef9b/32.png) [@Amateur\_Barbarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amateur_Barbarian)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2014, 9:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-stupid-songs-have-taught-you/706950/101 "2014-12-12T21:06:18Z")
> [@Soylent\_Juicy](#): > > At least “The Heart of Rock and Roll Is Still Beating” in _Detroit!_ Yeah, I understand it’s a crime scene. Hazmat teams and the medical examiner are en route. ---
**Author:** ![woodstockbirdybird](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/woodstockbirdybird/32/7905_2.png) [@woodstockbirdybird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/woodstockbirdybird)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2014, 9:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-stupid-songs-have-taught-you/706950/102 "2014-12-12T21:16:31Z")
Though they weren’t stupid, I actually did learn the words “acumen” and “eviscerate” from R.E.M. songs as a teen. ---
**Author:** ![Dallas\_Jones](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dallas_jones/32/3277_2.png) [@Dallas\_Jones](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dallas_Jones)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2014, 9:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-stupid-songs-have-taught-you/706950/103 "2014-12-12T21:17:32Z")
> [@Peanuthead](#): > > Roger Miller taught me that I can’t roller skate in a buffalo herd. (Not that I was about to try it though.) Roger taught me that England swings like a pendulum do Bobbies on bicycles, two by two Westminster Abbey the tower of Big Ben The rosy red cheeks of the little children after that I never wanted to visit England. ---
**Author:** ![Just\_Asking\_Questions](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba9def/32.png) [@Just\_Asking\_Questions](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Just_Asking_Questions)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2014, 9:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-stupid-songs-have-taught-you/706950/104 "2014-12-12T21:31:17Z")
> [@lost4life](#): > > I’m not following. There is no south side. You can certainly move in a southernly direction, but there’s a river and another country south of downtown. So where is south Detroit? > > Here’s some interesting [information](http://www.vulture.com/2012/01/journey-dont-stop-believin-south-detroit.html). Detroit has an area, it has boundaries. It is roughly rectangular, with the Detroit river as the southernmost boundary. It has general areas that can be called the “north side”, the “east side” etc. If you live off 7 Mile Road, you can say “I’m from the north side”, if your street forms the boundary with Grosse Point, you can say you live on the east side. So why wouldn’t you be able to say you live on the south side? The southern boundary is not indeterminate. Detroit does not go into hyperspace at the river. It’s not a Klein bottle city. There are houses both west and southwest of downtown. Just because “downtown” is at the river, it isn’t all there is in Detroit proper. So, if I lived in Corktown, at Brooklyn and Labrosse streets, a quarter mile north of the river and half a mile southwest of downtown, I could legitimately say I lived in southern Detroit. Or on the south side of Detroit. It wouldn’t be a stretch to say I live in south Detroit. Now, if people who live there don’t say that, that’s a fair point. They know better than me what they call their home area. By the naming conventions I grew up with (there is a “south side” of Milwaukee, as well as the notorious “south side” of Chicago), if asked I would say that I lived on the south side of Detroit, rather than “south Detroit”. But that doesn’t fit the meter of the song, and to this non-native son of Detroit, “south Detroit” doesn’t really seem wrong. And one can still wonder why a bunch of Californians decided to write a song about something they know nothing about, who can say. That never stopped Stephen King! ---
**Author:** ![Typo\_Negative](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/typo_negative/32/484_2.png) [@Typo\_Negative](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Typo_Negative)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2014, 12:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-stupid-songs-have-taught-you/706950/105 "2014-12-13T00:07:38Z")
> [@lost4life](#): > > I’m not following. There is no south side. You can certainly move in a southernly direction, but there’s a river and another country south of downtown. So where is south Detroit? > > Here’s some interesting [information](http://www.vulture.com/2012/01/journey-dont-stop-believin-south-detroit.html). Lets use different words. He was born and raised in the southern-most section of Detroit. ---
**Author:** ![Sir\_Prize](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d2c977/32.png) [@Sir\_Prize](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sir_Prize)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2014, 2:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-stupid-songs-have-taught-you/706950/106 "2014-12-13T02:09:41Z")
> [@Morbo](#): > > Bangkok is the crème de la crème of the Chess world. Bangkok is getting the crème de la crème of the Chess world since, as we learn, play at a high level is at no ordinary venue. It could be Iceland or the Philippines Or Hastings or, or this place. ---
**Author:** ![NDP](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ndp/32/55_2.png) [@NDP](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NDP)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2014, 4:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-stupid-songs-have-taught-you/706950/107 "2014-12-13T04:02:04Z")
> [@Becky2844](#): > > You can’t roller skate in a buffalo herd. [Quite true](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2SIADtYPAHA). ---
**Author:** ![Tread](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/53a042/32.png) [@Tread](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tread)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2014, 9:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-stupid-songs-have-taught-you/706950/108 "2014-12-13T09:47:31Z")
I learned how a bill becomes a law, I also learned that Shaft would risk his NECK for his brother man. ---
**Author:** ![Tread](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/53a042/32.png) [@Tread](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tread)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2014, 9:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-stupid-songs-have-taught-you/706950/109 "2014-12-13T09:48:35Z")
> [@Kimballkid](#): > > I thought Chicago died one night. I remember hearing momma crying about it. Was that the night the lights went out? ---
**Author:** ![Leaffan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leaffan/32/299_2.png) [@Leaffan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaffan)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2014, 11:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-stupid-songs-have-taught-you/706950/110 "2014-12-13T11:03:29Z")
> [@Tread](#): > > Was that the night the lights went out? The night they hung an innocent man? ---
**Author:** ![Frank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Frank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frank)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2014, 11:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-stupid-songs-have-taught-you/706950/111 "2014-12-13T11:15:07Z")
I learned that Kid Creole is not Annie’s daddy. Or else she wouldn’t be so ugly. ---
**Author:** ![Just\_Asking\_Questions](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba9def/32.png) [@Just\_Asking\_Questions](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Just_Asking_Questions)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2014, 2:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-stupid-songs-have-taught-you/706950/112 "2014-12-13T14:50:40Z")
> [@Tread](#): > > I also learned that Shaft would risk his NECK for his brother man. Right on! ---
**Author:** ![astorian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ad7895/32.png) [@astorian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astorian)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2014, 4:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-stupid-songs-have-taught-you/706950/113 "2014-12-13T16:24:36Z")
Well, I can honestly say I knew nothing of the sinking of the freighter \*\*\*Edmund Fitzgerald \*\*\*until Gordon Lightfoot’s song started getting radio airplay about a year or two later. ---
**Author:** ![JRDelirious](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jrdelirious/32/9531_2.png) [@JRDelirious](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JRDelirious)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2014, 4:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-stupid-songs-have-taught-you/706950/114 "2014-12-13T16:38:06Z")
I learned that I should not leave the cake out in the rain. (and, that writing lyrics while on a cocktail of psychedelics will make you use a freshly ironed pair of striped pants as a metaphor for love, thus making you _immortally_ stupid) ---
**Author:** ![Tapiotar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/3be4f8/32.png) [@Tapiotar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tapiotar)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2014, 4:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-stupid-songs-have-taught-you/706950/115 "2014-12-13T16:39:00Z")
> [@Double\_Foolscap](#): > > A doe is a deer. A female deer, in fact. Mares eat oats, and does eat oats, but little lambs eat ivy. Apparently, some folks are willin’ if you give them weed, whites, and wine, and show them a sign. Though perhaps a gps will do for the sign these days. ---
**Author:** ![Tapiotar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/3be4f8/32.png) [@Tapiotar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tapiotar)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2014, 4:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-stupid-songs-have-taught-you/706950/116 "2014-12-13T16:40:23Z")
> [@JRDelirious](#): > > I learned that I should not leave the cake out in the rain. > > (and, that writing lyrics while on a cocktail of psychedelics will make you use a freshly ironed pair of striped pants as a metaphor for love, thus making you _immortally_ stupid) Probably better to wait for break of day, when there’s no more flashing lights against the sky. ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2014, 8:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-stupid-songs-have-taught-you/706950/117 "2014-12-13T20:34:37Z")
> [@woodstockbirdybird](#): > > Though they weren’t stupid, I actually did learn the words “acumen” and “eviscerate” from R.E.M. songs as a teen. Their album named **Eponymous** makes my brain into a pretzel. Also, if you want to be happy for the rest of your life, get an ugly girl to marry you. ---
**Author:** ![Amateur\_Barbarian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/59ef9b/32.png) [@Amateur\_Barbarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amateur_Barbarian)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2014, 9:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-stupid-songs-have-taught-you/706950/118 "2014-12-13T21:05:25Z")
The people of China Grove keep on facin’ to the east, religiously following some of the dumbest lyrics ever set to some of the most kick-ass rock ever recorded. ---
**Author:** ![BrotherCadfael](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@BrotherCadfael](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrotherCadfael)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2014, 9:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-stupid-songs-have-taught-you/706950/119 "2014-12-13T21:26:54Z")
**House:** Well, like the philosopher Jagger once said, “You can’t always get what you want.” [later] **Cuddy:** Oh, I looked into that philosopher you quoted, Jagger, and you’re right, “You can’t always get what you want,” but as it turns out “if you try sometimes you get what you need.” ---
**Author:** ![Mona\_Lisa\_Simpson](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ce7236/32.png) [@Mona\_Lisa\_Simpson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mona_Lisa_Simpson)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2014, 9:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-stupid-songs-have-taught-you/706950/120 "2014-12-13T21:43:41Z")
> [@astorian](#): > > Well, I can honestly say I knew nothing of the sinking of the freighter \*\*\*Edmund Fitzgerald \*\*\*until Gordon Lightfoot’s song started getting radio airplay about a year or two later. I was never allowed to listen to the song when I was a kid. My grandfather was second make on the laker freight boats, was far away from the area of the storm, but he was not in port during that storm, and (IIRC) on Lake Superior.I was actually staying at my Grandmother’s that night, and slept in her bed (she barely slept until she got a “Ship to shore” from Grandpa the next day.) The song hit too close to hime, and my dad doesn’t like songs about death in general, or that one in particular. Gordon Lightfoot also taught me that “there was a time in this old land that the railway did not run.” And I can claim I learned that because I knew the words to it before I was old enough to understand there weren’t always such things as railroads. There used to be tape of me singing to an aunt\*… my parents thought I was going to sing “you are my sunshine” but I sang part of _ **Canadian Railroad Trilog** y_, part of "_ **American Pie** _"and part of “_ **Mrs. Robinson** _”. Yes, a tone deaf two year old lisping her way through Mrs Robinson… mostly I liked the “do do do” parts and the woah woah woah parts. I thought it was about church! \*Does anyone else remember sending cassette taped letters? My dad did that with several of his aunts in the early 1970’s. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-stupid-songs-have-taught-you/706950.md?page=5) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-stupid-songs-have-taught-you/706950.md?page=7)