# Things stupid songs have taught you **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [December 11, 2014, 4:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-stupid-songs-have-taught-you/706950 "2014-12-11T16:51:39Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 8
**Author:** ![HeyHomie](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/heyhomie/32/207_2.png) [@HeyHomie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HeyHomie)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2014, 6:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-stupid-songs-have-taught-you/706950/141 "2014-12-22T18:46:25Z")
They put coffee in their coffee in Brazil. ---
**Author:** ![SirRay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/cc9497/32.png) [@SirRay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SirRay)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2014, 7:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-stupid-songs-have-taught-you/706950/142 "2014-12-22T19:02:22Z")
> [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](#): > > The Sun is a mass of incandescent gas. The Sun is the same in a relative way, but you’re older. Shorter of breath, and one day closer to death. ---
**Author:** ![chappachula](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/d2c977/32.png) [@chappachula](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chappachula)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2014, 7:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-stupid-songs-have-taught-you/706950/143 "2014-12-22T19:02:34Z")
> [@astorian](#): > > Well, I can honestly say I knew nothing of the sinking of the freighter \*\*\*Edmund Fitzgerald \*\*\*until Gordon Lightfoot’s song . yeah, I had never heard of the Edmund either…And you know what?—I don’t frikkin’ _want_ to hear about it— over and over and over , for 6 and half minutes, of a droning, never-ending, monotonous ,repeating theme with no breaks–just the same old melody in every verse… It’s a good song, but it’s too damn long, and _way_ too repetitive. ---
**Author:** ![Leaffan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leaffan/32/299_2.png) [@Leaffan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaffan)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2014, 7:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-stupid-songs-have-taught-you/706950/144 "2014-12-22T19:20:11Z")
One is not allowed to dine on pudding, unless one first eats meat. ---
**Author:** ![Sitnam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Sitnam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sitnam)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2014, 7:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-stupid-songs-have-taught-you/706950/145 "2014-12-22T19:49:40Z")
John Henry’s job sucked ass. ---
**Author:** ![Yllaria](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yllaria/32/3452_2.png) [@Yllaria](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yllaria)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2014, 8:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-stupid-songs-have-taught-you/706950/146 "2014-12-22T20:36:51Z")
> [@John\_Mace](#): > > I learned that Paul Newman’s half Jewish, Goldie Hawn’s half too. Adolph Hitler. Not. A. Jew. I learned that "The woman piaba and the man piaba and the Ton Ton call baka lemon grass, . . . " Or something near it. Also that there’s no use crying over every mistake; you just keep on trying 'til you run out of cake. ---
**Author:** ![Yllaria](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yllaria/32/3452_2.png) [@Yllaria](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yllaria)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2014, 8:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-stupid-songs-have-taught-you/706950/147 "2014-12-22T20:38:26Z")
> [@Sitnam](#): > > John Henry’s job sucked ass. Yeah. You load sixteen tons, what do you get? Another day older and deeper in debt. ---
**Author:** ![Arkcon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/96bed5/32.png) [@Arkcon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arkcon)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2014, 8:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-stupid-songs-have-taught-you/706950/148 "2014-12-22T20:55:09Z")
I really don’t know where Mick Jagger got his information, but apparently, despite not having been born at the time, I’m partly responsible for killing the JFK and Bobby. I’m truly sorry about that. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Miskatonic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mr.miskatonic/32/310_2.png) [@Mr.Miskatonic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Miskatonic)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2014, 9:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-stupid-songs-have-taught-you/706950/149 "2014-12-22T21:22:34Z")
> [@chappachula](#): > > yeah, I had never heard of the Edmund either…And you know what?—I don’t frikkin’ _want_ to hear about it— over and over and over , for 6 and half minutes, of a droning, never-ending, monotonous ,repeating theme with no breaks–just the same old melody in every verse… > > It’s a good song, but it’s too damn long, and _way_ too repetitive. And is thus perfect for clearing out the people who stay too long at parties. ---
**Author:** ![TBG](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c89c15/32.png) [@TBG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TBG)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2014, 10:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-stupid-songs-have-taught-you/706950/150 "2014-12-22T22:47:52Z")
> [@Just\_Asking\_Questions](#): > > Gah! This is as bad as “Ich bin ein Berliner.” People think they are so damn clever, they caught a glaring geographical mistake in a wimpy Journey song. Oooh, aren’t they smart! > > The lyric is “ **s** outh Detroit”, not “ **S** outh Detroit”. You know - on the south side. There is a south side. There are houses there, where I am sure many people were born and raised. Look at a map, people! > > It’s not that uncommon a descriptor. There is a south Phoenix, but not a South Phoenix. If you want to argue no one born and raised in any geographical direction of Detroit ever refers to the quadrants of the city, I would concede the point. It’s an uncommon descriptor for Detroit. Detroit has an east side (which is not the same thing as East Detroit\*, btw) and a west side. No one in the area ever says “south Detroit”. \*East Detroit is different city entirely, eventually renamed Eastpointe in the 90’s, but the schools there still use the East Detroit name ---
**Author:** ![Johanna](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johanna/32/8318_2.png) [@Johanna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johanna)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2014, 11:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-stupid-songs-have-taught-you/706950/151 "2014-12-22T23:40:30Z")
I learned about the _humuhumunukunukuapuaʻa._ ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2014, 4:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-stupid-songs-have-taught-you/706950/152 "2014-12-23T04:11:59Z")
I know some people want to teach the world to sing in perfect harmony. But I don’t. And especially, I don’t want to listen to the world singing. ---
**Author:** ![Hilarity\_N.Suze](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hilarity_n.suze/32/6223_2.png) [@Hilarity\_N.Suze](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hilarity_N.Suze)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2014, 8:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-stupid-songs-have-taught-you/706950/153 "2014-12-23T08:09:35Z")
Istanbul is Constantinople. ---
**Author:** ![Grotonian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/c2a13f/32.png) [@Grotonian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grotonian)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2014, 6:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-stupid-songs-have-taught-you/706950/154 "2014-12-23T18:59:56Z")
Good God, can no one from Motown offer a succinct explanation? I’ll try: Downtown Detroit is at the Detroit River, which runs east-west in this area. Woodward Avenue bisects the city from downtown into an East and West side. Detroit is ALWAYS conceptualized by Michiganders as being oriented this way. It is not like the southern quadrants of most cities; you MUST say southEAST or southWEST when discussing southerly areas of the city away from Downtown. Any description of south or southern Detroit raises the necessary question–“Yeah, but, east side or west side?” So it isn’t simply that, “Detroiters don’t say that.” It’s the case that there is no point in referencing “south” without specifying east or west. ---
**Author:** ![Ignatz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/3be4f8/32.png) [@Ignatz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ignatz)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2014, 11:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-stupid-songs-have-taught-you/706950/155 "2014-12-23T23:48:15Z")
Gilly Gilly Ossenfeffer Katzenellen Bogen’s by the sea. ---
**Author:** ![Rick\_Kitchen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rick_kitchen/32/522_2.png) [@Rick\_Kitchen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rick_Kitchen)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2014, 2:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-stupid-songs-have-taught-you/706950/156 "2014-12-24T02:45:00Z")
Apparently my name is also John Jacob Jingelheimer Schmidt. ---
**Author:** ![Grotonian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/c2a13f/32.png) [@Grotonian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grotonian)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2014, 3:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-stupid-songs-have-taught-you/706950/157 "2014-12-24T03:12:48Z")
You can always call Dad for lawyers, guns, and money. ---
**Author:** ![usedtobe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/ec9cab/32.png) [@usedtobe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/usedtobe)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2014, 3:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-stupid-songs-have-taught-you/706950/158 "2014-12-24T03:44:05Z")
It never rains in California Dogs can drown in oceans ---
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2014, 5:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-stupid-songs-have-taught-you/706950/159 "2014-12-24T17:52:45Z")
I already know that in the year 3535 everything you think, do and say will be in the pill you take that day. And a rock feels no pain, and an island never cries. But if you want to know if he loves you so, it’s in his kiss. ---
**Author:** ![Marine\_One](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/marine_one/32/3461_2.png) [@Marine\_One](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marine_One)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2014, 6:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-stupid-songs-have-taught-you/706950/160 "2014-12-24T18:42:46Z")
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