# Things that annoy you as an aspergery personality **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [August 3, 2012, 8:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-annoy-you-as-an-aspergery-personality/630265 "2012-08-03T08:19:05Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 7\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![grude](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e47774/32.png) [@grude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/grude)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2012, 7:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-annoy-you-as-an-aspergery-personality/630265/61 "2012-08-10T19:24:16Z")
> [@Senegoid](#): > > I believe that the phrase “neurotypical”, or anything similar, as commonly used by aspies (or by any other “non-neuro-typical”) is actually a term on contempt, the implication being that neurotypicals are jerks. It isn’t a word I use, I think it sounds ridiculous. It reminds me of breeders as a term for hetero people. ---
**Author:** ![monstro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ba9def/32.png) [@monstro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/monstro)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2012, 10:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-annoy-you-as-an-aspergery-personality/630265/62 "2012-08-10T22:58:47Z")
The term “Aspie” annoys the hell out of me. As do all permutations of “Asperger’s”. And all generalizations about people with AS and people without AS. I fluctuate between being understanding of the thing and hating it so much. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2012, 6:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-annoy-you-as-an-aspergery-personality/630265/63 "2012-08-11T06:29:30Z")
> [@BigT](#): > > He’s also insulting you because of it. Hence my response–I have promised to try to inform people on Aspie behavior after another Aspie was attacked repeatedly on this board. Anyone who was “attacked repeatedly” on this board obviously did something that caused it, and blaming it on “being an Aspie” is insanely patronizing. If a person cannot control his or her actions, then maybe they shouldn’t be posting on a message board. (And if it’s how I THINK you’re talking about, that person has SAID that he doesn’t WANT people treating him differently due to the fact that he has aspergers. Repeatedly.) If it’s one person saying that EVERYONE reacts to them that way, well, don’t you think there might be a common denominator there, **ftg**? Everyone has supervisors who pull shit like that – not because they’re “NT”, but because that’s how corporate bullshit works. You said yourself it turned out to be politics. Who hasn’t had a boss told them to do something that’s obviously ass-backwards, but hey, he’s the boss, and won’t listen to reason. It has nothing to do with Aspie vs. NT – it has to do with just plain ol’ Stupid. 'And you can’t fix Stupid. ---
**Author:** ![HeyHomie](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/heyhomie/32/207_2.png) [@HeyHomie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HeyHomie)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2012, 4:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-annoy-you-as-an-aspergery-personality/630265/64 "2012-08-11T16:17:18Z")
I’d like to ask a question: I’ve long thought that I might have AS, but I see no need for a diagnosis because, what’s the point? But anyway, the two biggest things I have issues with are… 1. Being unable to tell when someone is fucking with me, 2. Having difficulty picking up on peoples’ emotions/reading faces. Are those things signs of AS? ---
**Author:** ![Fuzzy\_Dunlop](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/848f3c/32.png) [@Fuzzy\_Dunlop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fuzzy_Dunlop)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2012, 4:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-annoy-you-as-an-aspergery-personality/630265/65 "2012-08-11T16:28:17Z")
> [@HeyHomie](#): > > I’d like to ask a question: I’ve long thought that I might have AS, but I see no need for a diagnosis because, \*\*what’s the point? \*\*But anyway, the two biggest things I have issues with are… > > 1. Being unable to tell when someone is fucking with me, > 2. Having difficulty picking up on peoples’ emotions/reading faces. > > Are those things signs of AS? Well it’s possible you _don’t_ have a development disorder, just underdeveloped social skills that you could improve. I don`t know all that much about Asperger’s but if I couldn’t understand people’s emotions or tell if they were fucking with me, the “point” to me would be to find out if I can get better at those things or not. ---
**Author:** ![BirdbirdOfDover](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/a183cd/32.png) [@BirdbirdOfDover](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BirdbirdOfDover)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2012, 4:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-annoy-you-as-an-aspergery-personality/630265/66 "2012-08-11T16:42:25Z")
> [@ftg](#): > > **msmith537** , nice response. Yeah, it gets to what is the big gulf between Aspies and NTs. I don’t get people trying to read emotion into _basic_ statements. Why do people ignore the words and try to second guess emotions anyway? Baffling. If the topic had emotions implied, e.g., “Where do you think this relationship is going?”, then trying to read emotions is great. But for simple informational transactions, just stick to the simple stuff. > \ I would like to have a go at explaining this, if you wouldn’t mind. I hope I don’t come across as condescending, as that is not my aim. (Unfortunately, I may have a talent for it.) With regards to people trying to read emotions into simple exchanges, let’s try a metaphor to explain the situation. Imagine everyone wears a headband with a row of different coloured lights on it. A red light indicates anger, a yellow light indicates happiness, and so on. These lights start flashing when the person feels that particular emotion. The “neurotypical” (I’m not fond of the term, but I’ll use it here) people can see these headbands, and people with AS can not. Now, when someone says a basic statement, for example, “Give me the hammer”, it can be taken in a number of ways when interpreted in combination with which light is flashing. Without any flashing lights, it’s a simple request. However, if that red light is flashing, you’re going to look at it, because it’s distracting. You know red means anger, and that when that particular light flashes, bad things often happen. To a “neurotypical” person, it acts as an obvious warning sign, and so they will want to know what the person wants the hammer for, as the person requesting it may want to use it as a weapon. Without seeing that light or paying attention to it, you may miss potential dangers. If it was a happy light flashing and you didn’t see it or pay attention to it, you could miss potential rewards. (Although, I will concede that I don’t know what “Give me the hammer”+happiness leads to. Maybe juggling and general clowning around.) Please note that these lights don’t work properly 100% of the time, and can flash without the proper accompanying emotion, or may fail to flash when an emotion is present. It’s not a foolproof system, but it works well enough to be relied upon for most interactions, particularly considering the potential benefits. Basically, “neurotypical” people try to read emotion into simple statements because the emotion is obvious and distracting to them, like a flashing light, and paying attention to the emotion can help them to avoid dangerous or unpleasant situations, or to gain rewards or happy experiences. Sorry for the wall of text. Hopefully this is helpful and I’ve interpreted this situation correctly. ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Borgia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/larry_borgia/32/156_2.png) [@Larry\_Borgia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Borgia)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2012, 4:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-annoy-you-as-an-aspergery-personality/630265/67 "2012-08-12T16:21:47Z")
> [@BigT](#): > > Yes, because not realizing that you are coming off as hostile has nothing to do with a mental disorder that makes people not be able to understand the complexities of nonverbal communication… :rolleyes: > > Seriously, it’s not complicated to understand an Aspie, and the fact that so many people continue to make assumptions that only make sense with NT people is in fact a flaw in being neurotypical. At least, I choose to believe that than the idea that you are intentionally picking on **ftg**. > > The idea that **ftg** is intending to be hostile is ridiculous, as evidenced by the actual text. The idea that a “hint” would somehow tell them something when they obviously can’t figure out that they are perceived as hostile is ridiculous. And getting mad at someone who accidentally does something you don’t like is ridiculous. > > BTW, **ftg** , since I’m not sure how well you understand NTs yet, I shall go ahead and explain what happened. What he is getting at is that your style of conversation is coming off as hostile because you’re talking about problems with NTs as if they are the ones with a disorder, which is perceived as an insult (don’t ask me to explain why–I just observe) And then he is extrapolating to assume that you always talk like this, even though expressing hostility in words and in speech are completely different. Because he is thinking of you as an NT, and, in NTs, those two behaviors are correlated. > > He’s also insulting you because of it. Hence my response–I have promised to try to inform people on Aspie behavior after another Aspie was attacked repeatedly on this board. Speaking of obnoxious behavior, I think quoting somebody’s post and then referring to them in the third person qualifies. Fortunately **BigT’s** post is such obvious sanctimonious blather, it’s more hilarious than annoying. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-annoy-you-as-an-aspergery-personality/630265.md?page=3)