When, during a funeral scene, every single person has a black umbrella (and it’s always raining, of course).
Seriously, how many people just happen to have black umbrellas lying around? One out of every four people I could buy. But EVERYBODY?
I believe that when rain is in the forecast, funeral homes will have a supply of umbrellas at the ready.
Sex without movement. Also real life “bedroom situations” never seem to pan over to the lamp on the nightstand.
The one I hate is dropping coffee cups and glasses in astonishment or shock. The first slo-mo shattering-at-their-feet one I remember was from *The Unusual Suspects *and it’s been done TO DEATH ever since.
Whenever the show is about a cop hunting a killer, the killer always ends up going after the cop or his family. Does this ever happen in real life? Does a real-life killer even have the foggiest idea of the name of the cop who is after him?
Sure, it has to be this way, but most everyone in the movies and television is so clean. When there’s sweat or dirt - it’s clean sweat and it’s oh-so-carefully-placed smudges of ashes. You just know that none of these people know what stinky feet or bad breath are like, either to have personally, or to endure from others.
And, of course, real life doesn’t have background music.
Unless I really am missing something.
You mean … you don’t hear it too?
Because a woman would have to take her pants & underwear off to stand over the bowl, unless she was extremely flexible. And no harm in women standing? That’s how the seat gets covered in piss, because of the hoverers who keep their ass above the seat.
One of the few stand out details in *A Time To Kill *was that the entire cast seemed appropriately bathed in that deep south sweat.
The standard El Cheapo umbrella that they sell on the street when it’s raining to people who forgot to carry an umbrella is black.
Now that I think about it, all the umbrellas I’ve owned have been black. I’ve never been to a funeral though.
You gotta stand next to Leiko’s Mom.
I lived in a Victorian with backstairs, but I think it’s rare, even for Victorians. I’ve been in several big old houses – one with six (six!) bedrooms upstairs (plus a sunporch) – and there was just one set of stairs.
Pillowfights where a pillow busts open and feathers fly everywhere. I’ve been in a lot of pillowfights and never broke a pillow open.
People interrupting others’ conversations. Happens all the time IRL but rarely in TV and movies, unless it’s a plot point (Harry is such a jerk, never lets anyone get a word in edgewise).
People always having food on hand for unexpected visitors. Want a sandwich? Sure, there’ll be meat (usually cold roast chicken), sliced tomatoes, and lettuce. Doesn’t matter if you’re an old lady living in the middle of nowhere who only has company at holidays – she’ll be able to feed you something fresh, and she’ll have whatever variety of soda you want.
Clean cars, never any junk on the seat that needs to be cleared off, and nothing in the trunk except the spare and a jack.
Hit men. On TV and in movies, there are scads of slick, dangerous, professional hit men running around that are easily accessible by rich corporate villains who have the need to off someone.
The impression I get from reading a lot of news stories and Anne Rule is that a real life hit man is more likely to be your gardener’s addict cousin who needs some money to buy heroine and he’s probably going to fuck it up royally and implicate you at the drop of a hat.
You mean like Wonder Woman? 
Don’t be silly. There’s also a corpse and a few kilos of smack in there.
Unless you really grew up in the backwoods, your high school was more likely built by the WPA.
In a western…
When a cowboy walks into a tavern, sits at the bar, and asks for a drink, the bartender will bring him a glass and a bottle of whisky. The bartender will pour whiskey into the glass, and then leave the bottle with the customer. Never in my life have I seen a bartender leave the bottle with the customer. Not sure how that would work… is the customer supposed to keep track of how many glasses he drinks?
I seem to remember that we covered this about 5 or so years ago when discussing a western movie …
At the time you had the option of buying a bottle instead of just the drink.
I like to look at it like running a tab. The bartender leaves the bottle and you pay according to how much you drank.
[I also seem to remember it had funky ingredients like gunpowder and kerosene in the whiskey as part of the discussion. My board search fu sucks this morning]
You don’t see it much anymore, but it used to be on television whenever milk was on the dining table, it was in a glass pitcher. I’ve never seen it done and why would you dirty a dish for that?
The massive parties that always get thrown by the jock or for the prom.
Sure, I know my town was small, but, not that small.