# Things that are inappropriate to communicate by text or email **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [January 7, 2011, 8:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-are-inappropriate-to-communicate-by-text-or-email/566785 "2011-01-07T20:21:11Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 16\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Peremensoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ce7236/32.png) [@Peremensoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Peremensoe)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2011, 7:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-are-inappropriate-to-communicate-by-text-or-email/566785/61 "2011-01-11T19:39:43Z")
> [@Hedda\_Rosa](#): > > You know as I posted that I noticed it sounded ambiguous but I couldn’t think of how to reword it. “My mom, to me announced her engagement by text”? “To me, my mom announced her engagement by text”? I guess “My mom texted me to announce her engagement” would have been best. > > /hijack The wording you wanted was “My mom announced to me by text message her engagement [to X].” The problem with your last example there is that it could be a directive to you to go ahead and announce your mother’s engagement. ---
**Author:** ![PoorYorick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ecccb3/32.png) [@PoorYorick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PoorYorick)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2011, 7:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-are-inappropriate-to-communicate-by-text-or-email/566785/62 "2011-01-11T19:54:28Z")
> [@mnemosyne](#): > > My mom once sent me an email full of random information which included the single line “By the way, your grandmother is fine - leaving the hospital tomorrow”. I called in a bit of a panic, because even though I knew _now_ that she was fine, I didn’t know why she was in the hospital in the first place (turned out to be a minor infection IIRC)! My family is _notorious_ for not notifying anyone else in the family when there’s a medical problem. For instance, my aunt called me to let me know my grandmother had left the hospital without anyone telling me she went in because “we didn’t want to worry you.” ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2011, 8:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-are-inappropriate-to-communicate-by-text-or-email/566785/63 "2011-01-11T20:03:40Z")
“I’m going to rob the 1st National bank tomorrow morning at 9 AM.” “I’m going to kill that prick and his entire family.” “I shot a man in Reno just to watch him die.” Really, any incriminating statements, you don’t want to put in writing. ---
**Author:** ![norinew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/eb9ed0/32.png) [@norinew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/norinew)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2011, 8:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-are-inappropriate-to-communicate-by-text-or-email/566785/64 "2011-01-11T20:56:34Z")
> [@PoorYorick](#): > > My family is _notorious_ for not notifying anyone else in the family when there’s a medical problem. For instance, my aunt called me to let me know my grandmother had left the hospital without anyone telling me she went in because “we didn’t want to worry you.” Heh. About a year and a half ago, I was up and getting ready for my day, about 7AM. The phone rang. That’s awfully early for a phone call, but of course I answered it. It was one of my hubby’s best friends. Here’s how the conversation went: HBF: Hey, is hubby OK? Me: Sure, I guess. Why wouldn’t he be? HBF: Well, is he still in the hospital? Me: Hospital? What would he be doing in the hospital? I think you’re confused. HBF: No, he called me around 3 this morning from the hospital. He may have had a heart attack. Me: :eek: I say a hasty goodbye to the friend, and call my hubby’s cell phone. No answer. Yikes. So I called his Mom. He works out of town in the same town his parents live in. Sure enough, he’d had his mother drive him to the hospital around midnight, thinking he may be having a heart attack! Finally got through to him on his cell phone. He didn’t have a heart attack, but rather a herniated disc. (You have to understand, at 50 years old, that is _the first time_ my husband ever went to the hospital for something non-injury related, making it double-scary to me). He couldn’t call me from the hospital because he left his cell phone at home, and the hospital doesn’t allow long-distance calls. He’d asked his mother to call me, but she decided to ‘wait until morning so she didn’t wake me up’! Holy cow, what if it _had_ been a heart attack, and he’d died or something? I left strict instructions that if any such thing ever happened again, I was to be called _immediately_. :smack: ---
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2011, 2:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-are-inappropriate-to-communicate-by-text-or-email/566785/65 "2011-01-13T14:12:31Z")
> [@norinew](#): > > I left strict instructions that if any such thing ever happened again, I was to be called _immediately_. > :smack: _High-five_ Thats when I got a cellphone. I try not to use it ever for chit chat & virtually no one outside of immediate family has the #. I think of it as the Hot line: if it rings, there’s trouble; come running. I’ve also learned that in effect, policies be damned. That phone goes off & someone’s hurt, I’m leaving. I’ll tell people its personal, I’ll tell them its an emergency, but its not a debate or a discussion. Its FYI only. I’m Leaving. Now. ---
**Author:** ![RedBloom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/dbc845/32.png) [@RedBloom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RedBloom)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2011, 6:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-are-inappropriate-to-communicate-by-text-or-email/566785/66 "2011-01-13T18:02:06Z")
> [@Wilbo523](#): > > Were you more mad at your husband or his other? Good question. I was equally disgusted and infurated by both. I even contacted _her_ via email to get the sordid story. ---
**Author:** ![Engywook](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/bc8723/32.png) [@Engywook](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Engywook)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2011, 4:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-are-inappropriate-to-communicate-by-text-or-email/566785/67 "2011-01-14T04:49:25Z")
> [@Shade](#): > > I think I’m comparatively rare, but I’d honestly prefer that people went ahead and put the bad news in the text/email (and said “I’m here, please call” as well). To me, the vista of possible bad news once someone says “you need to call me” is worse than getting the message. And I’m happy to have a few private seconds to parse it. Seconded. Don’t call me and tell me we need to have a talk about my transmission, my prostate, or my application for citizenship in Shangri La. Just deliver the message. ---
**Author:** ![bengangmo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/50afbb/32.png) [@bengangmo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bengangmo)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2011, 9:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-are-inappropriate-to-communicate-by-text-or-email/566785/68 "2011-01-14T09:55:28Z")
> [@Filbert](#): > > When I was in Malaysia a few years back, there was a campaign going to try to persuade men not to divorce their wives [by text](http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/asia-pacific/3100143.stm). Yep I remember the campaign - but to be fair, what constitutes divorce is a little different under shariah law. ---
**Author:** ![bengangmo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/50afbb/32.png) [@bengangmo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bengangmo)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2011, 9:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-are-inappropriate-to-communicate-by-text-or-email/566785/69 "2011-01-14T09:58:25Z")
> [@PoorYorick](#): > > My family is _notorious_ for not notifying anyone else in the family when there’s a medical problem. For instance, my aunt called me to let me know my grandmother had left the hospital without anyone telling me she went in because “we didn’t want to worry you.” Yeah, I only found out that my dad had been beaten to a bloody pulp, spent 3 days in hospital and his attacker was someone he knew about three months later. Thanks Dad ---
**Author:** ![MichaelEmouse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/michaelemouse/32/101_2.png) [@MichaelEmouse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MichaelEmouse)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2011, 6:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-are-inappropriate-to-communicate-by-text-or-email/566785/70 "2011-01-14T18:14:13Z")
> [@bengangmo](#): > > Yep I remember the campaign - but to be fair, what constitutes divorce is a little different under shariah law. i dvrc u i dvrc u i dvrc u ---
**Author:** ![norinew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/eb9ed0/32.png) [@norinew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/norinew)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2011, 7:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-are-inappropriate-to-communicate-by-text-or-email/566785/71 "2011-01-14T19:50:07Z")
> [@MichaelEmouse](#): > > i dvrc u i dvrc u i dvrc u thats ok i didnt like u anyway 😛 ---
**Author:** ![FuzzyOgre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/a587f6/32.png) [@FuzzyOgre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FuzzyOgre)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2011, 8:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-are-inappropriate-to-communicate-by-text-or-email/566785/72 "2011-01-14T20:57:28Z")
> [@MichaelEmouse](#): > > i dvrc u i dvrc u i dvrc u Great. You made u cry, you mean guy. ---
**Author:** ![Finally](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/67e7ee/32.png) [@Finally](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Finally)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2011, 9:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-are-inappropriate-to-communicate-by-text-or-email/566785/73 "2011-01-14T21:42:52Z")
/Slight hijack/ My Mom’s husband left me a voice mail (before cell phones) that she had died. And I listened to it with my then-3-year old on my lap. /end hijack/ ---
**Author:** ![Dunkelheit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dunkelheit/32/248_2.png) [@Dunkelheit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dunkelheit)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2011, 6:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-are-inappropriate-to-communicate-by-text-or-email/566785/74 "2011-01-15T18:54:33Z")
> [@Tom\_Scud](#): > > My wife proposed over Google Chat. > > We printed the chat log in our wedding program. I proposed to my husband over Google Chat, sort of. Then, later, through the voice box of a hollow interactive Dalek while standing inside it. I so wish I had a video of that moment. ---
**Author:** ![drachillix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/48db29/32.png) [@drachillix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drachillix)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2011, 7:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-are-inappropriate-to-communicate-by-text-or-email/566785/75 "2011-01-15T19:09:32Z")
> [@FuzzyOgre](#): > > Thats pretty nervy. How far did you toss him over the curb… before five? Yeah that would be one of those moments where the little shithead with more balls than brains needs to be introduced to what happens when you intentionally piss off adults with the ability and means to royally fuck up your world. Like since daughter lives there, she could invite dad and all his friends over for movie night, and to watch him pack, informing him that a single word on his part will result in a beating, with witnesses, who all saw him fall down the stairs on his own each time.. ---
**Author:** ![Green\_Rosetta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Green\_Rosetta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Rosetta)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2011, 4:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-are-inappropriate-to-communicate-by-text-or-email/566785/76 "2011-01-17T04:07:16Z")
Death and being fired. Also things which people shouldn’t find out on Facebook. Both are pretty relevant in my life right now. The day before New Year’s Eve a friend of mine passed away. He had been a heavy drinker and had a lot of health problems, so while it wasn’t a huge shock, it was definitely not the news I expected. My best friend and his boyfriend both called me when they found out, around 3:30 AM, but I was sleeping and didn’t answer. In the morning I woke up to three texts- one from my best friend saying, “Call me as soon as you can”, one from a friend saying, “Honey. OMG. What happened?” and one from another friend saying, “What happened to [friend who passed]?” I guess it was all over Facebook and spreading like wildfire. I called Best Friend and he told me, and we decided we’d call our other friends so they wouldn’t have to hear through Facebook. It just seems terribly impersonal. On a related note, friend who died had a very successful karaoke gig that he had been fired from a few weeks earlier due to his drinking. A few days after he died, a friend of his went through his old texts and found that he had been fired from that gig via text. The guy that fired him has said that he tried several times to call my friend but he never answered, so he resorted to text. Still, that’s low. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-are-inappropriate-to-communicate-by-text-or-email/566785.md?page=3)