# Things That Are Not Food Being Treated As Food **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [September 20, 2025, 11:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-are-not-food-being-treated-as-food/1023222 "2025-09-20T11:37:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Bumbazine](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bumbazine/32/362_2.png) [@Bumbazine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bumbazine)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2025, 6:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-are-not-food-being-treated-as-food/1023222/21 "2025-09-20T18:41:55Z")
I have eaten everything mentioned herein so far and considered them all food. Some, not very good food, but all food. Oysters, on the other hand, or any hand, are definitely **not** food. I’ve tried to like them a number of times, in various ways, thinking that maybe I was mistaken. I wasn’t and still aren’t. ---
**Author:** ![Saint\_Cad](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/saint_cad/32/18907_2.png) [@Saint\_Cad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Saint_Cad)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2025, 6:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-are-not-food-being-treated-as-food/1023222/22 "2025-09-20T18:51:20Z")
Salt is not food. It is a rock. It’s exactly like eating pebbles from your yard. ---
**Author:** ![DMC](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dmc/32/18049_2.png) [@DMC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DMC)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2025, 7:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-are-not-food-being-treated-as-food/1023222/23 "2025-09-20T19:11:00Z")
If I am forced to give up 95% or even 99% of the food types that I enjoy, salt will still be on the menu. ---
**Author:** ![Son\_of\_a\_Rich](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/son_of_a_rich/32/5439_2.png) [@Son\_of\_a\_Rich](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Son_of_a_Rich)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2025, 7:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-are-not-food-being-treated-as-food/1023222/24 "2025-09-20T19:54:40Z")
> [@needscoffee](#): > > Necco Wafers\*\* Chalk + gypsum drywall. ---
**Author:** ![What\_Exit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/what_exit/32/10652_2.png) [@What\_Exit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/What_Exit)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2025, 8:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-are-not-food-being-treated-as-food/1023222/25 "2025-09-20T20:04:26Z")
> [@Little\_Nemo](#): > > The average adult sheep in 1500 weighed just twenty-eight pounds. I think you mean kg, not pounds. ---
**Author:** ![Velocity](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/velocity/32/18006_2.png) [@Velocity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Velocity)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2025, 8:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-are-not-food-being-treated-as-food/1023222/26 "2025-09-20T20:12:30Z")
I’m not sure what the OP means or if it was meant to be tongue-in-cheek, but I’m pretty sure that any non-toxic, non-harmful meat or vegetable, by definition, is food. It may not be ideal, but it’s edible. ---
**Author:** ![WildaBeast](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wildabeast/32/6_2.png) [@WildaBeast](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WildaBeast)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2025, 8:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-are-not-food-being-treated-as-food/1023222/27 "2025-09-20T20:35:11Z")
Back when I was in college David Letterman occasionally had a segment on his show called “What was it before it was deep fried?” An audience member would be given a random non-food object that had been battered and deep fried, like a wallet, for example. They would have to guess what was inside the deep fried batter. So yeah, I was thinking of something along those lines when I saw the title of this thread. ---
**Author:** ![Jaycat.again](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jaycat.again/32/11525_2.png) [@Jaycat.again](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jaycat.again)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2025, 8:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-are-not-food-being-treated-as-food/1023222/28 "2025-09-20T20:38:07Z")
My vote is for rubbery items containing parasites. A/k/a/, raw fish. ---
**Author:** ![needscoffee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/needscoffee/32/1076_2.png) [@needscoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/needscoffee)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2025, 8:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-are-not-food-being-treated-as-food/1023222/29 "2025-09-20T20:40:47Z")
> [@Velocity](#): > > I’m not sure what the OP means or if it was meant to be tongue-in-cheek, but I’m pretty sure that any non-toxic, non-harmful meat or vegetable, by definition, is food. It may not be ideal, but it’s edible Gee, ya think? ---
**Author:** ![susan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/susan/32/17537_2.png) [@susan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/susan)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2025, 8:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-are-not-food-being-treated-as-food/1023222/30 "2025-09-20T20:44:16Z")
Peeps are experimental subjects. [![](https://img.youtube.com/vi/W_B4y16mtZw/maxresdefault.jpg "5 Science Experiments You Can Do With Peeps") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W_B4y16mtZw) ---
**Author:** ![Two\_Many\_Cats2](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/779978/32.png) [@Two\_Many\_Cats2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Two_Many_Cats2)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2025, 8:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-are-not-food-being-treated-as-food/1023222/31 "2025-09-20T20:51:26Z")
Kale. Used to be salad bar counter decoration. ---
**Author:** ![susan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/susan/32/17537_2.png) [@susan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/susan)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2025, 8:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-are-not-food-being-treated-as-food/1023222/32 "2025-09-20T20:55:26Z")
I’ve heard that, though I’ve only ever seen escarole used that way. [![](https://i5.walmartimages.com/seo/Italian-Escarole-Seed-Non-GMO-Heirloom-500-Seeds-Grow-Your-Own-Healthy-Flavorful-Greens-prized-Crisp-Texture-Flavor-Adding-Complexity-Salads-soups-Si_cce90d78-510f-4bea-afd4-e81525e294c2.f61d8ddf6007e07eca0c868b53bbf6be.jpeg?odnHeight=573&odnWidth=573&odnBg=FFFFFF) ](https://i5.walmartimages.com/seo/Italian-Escarole-Seed-Non-GMO-Heirloom-500-Seeds-Grow-Your-Own-Healthy-Flavorful-Greens-prized-Crisp-Texture-Flavor-Adding-Complexity-Salads-soups-Si_cce90d78-510f-4bea-afd4-e81525e294c2.f61d8ddf6007e07eca0c868b53bbf6be.jpeg?odnHeight=573&odnWidth=573&odnBg=FFFFFF) ---
**Author:** ![DesertDog](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/desertdog/32/11503_2.png) [@DesertDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DesertDog)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2025, 9:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-are-not-food-being-treated-as-food/1023222/33 "2025-09-20T21:17:36Z")
> [@Jaycat.again](#): > > My vote is for rubbery items containing parasites. A/k/a/, raw fish. If your sashimi is rubbery and parasite-ridden you picked the wrong place to eat it. For me, bananas. I cannot stand the smell of a just-peeled banana and the thought biting into one makes me gag a little. Also, unprocessed avacado. The texture and (lack of) flavor is also off-putting. Liking slices of avocado on toast is a mystery. Guacamole fixes both of those flaws. ---
**Author:** ![Jaycat.again](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jaycat.again/32/11525_2.png) [@Jaycat.again](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jaycat.again)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2025, 9:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-are-not-food-being-treated-as-food/1023222/34 "2025-09-20T21:23:18Z")
> [@DesertDog](#): > > Also, unprocessed avacado. The texture and (lack of) flavor is also off-putting. If your avocados lack texture and flavor, you picked the wrong place to buy them. 😀 ---
**Author:** ![EinsteinsHund](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/einsteinshund/32/8400_2.png) [@EinsteinsHund](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EinsteinsHund)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2025, 9:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-are-not-food-being-treated-as-food/1023222/35 "2025-09-20T21:23:21Z")
> [@WildaBeast](#): > > Back when I was in college David Letterman occasionally had a segment on his show called “What was it before it was deep fried?” An audience member would be given a random non-food object that had been battered and deep fried, like a wallet, for example. They would have to guess what was inside the deep fried batter. > > So yeah, I was thinking of something along those lines when I saw the title of this thread. I was thinking of something similar, the tramp eating his own shoes in Charlie Chaplin’s “The Gold Rush”. ETA: I love broccoli and Brussels sprouts (all vegetables of the kale/collard/cabbage family actually, I don’t know what’s the official name, in German it’s “Kohl”), but eggplant is useless for eating. ---
**Author:** ![ParallelLines](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/parallellines/32/3575_2.png) [@ParallelLines](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ParallelLines)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2025, 9:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-are-not-food-being-treated-as-food/1023222/36 "2025-09-20T21:26:51Z")
> [@solost](#): > > Beets smell like a dank, moldy, mildewy basement. Not to mention, their unnaturally red color has to indicate that they’re poisonous. Yet, some people actually eat them, or so I’ve heard. It was amazing to me how much more attractive _golden_ beets were. Still not my first choice, but the visual attraction is often underestimated in getting food on the plate. ---
**Author:** ![sunacres](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/4491bb/32.png) [@sunacres](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sunacres)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2025, 9:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-are-not-food-being-treated-as-food/1023222/37 "2025-09-20T21:34:29Z")
Curiously, every item mentioned in this thread is a favorite food of mine, starting with lamb then right on down the line. Odd. ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2025, 11:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-are-not-food-being-treated-as-food/1023222/38 "2025-09-20T23:17:57Z")
Yeah, I like most of them, too. ---
**Author:** ![madmonk28](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/madmonk28/32/20811_2.png) [@madmonk28](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/madmonk28)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2025, 11:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-are-not-food-being-treated-as-food/1023222/39 "2025-09-20T23:24:43Z")
> [@glee](#): > > but they will never pass my lips! Then how do you know you don’t like them? ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2025, 11:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-are-not-food-being-treated-as-food/1023222/40 "2025-09-20T23:54:08Z")
> [@What\_Exit](#): > > > [@Little\_Nemo](#): > > > > The average adult sheep in 1500 weighed just twenty-eight pounds. > > I think you mean kg, not pounds. > This is why you will see so many sheep in England: more than eight million of them, twice as many as there are people. Having said that, these are not quite the animals with which you are familiar: they are very small. Average weights are gradually rising (through improvements in husbandry), from about 28lbs. per sheep in 1500 to 46lbs in 1600, with the largest weighing 60lbs; but still these are tiny by comparison with modern ewes, which weigh 100 - 200lbs (a modern ram can weigh more than 350lbs). > > _The Time Traveler’s Guide to Elizabethan England_ by Ian Mortimer, pp. 20-21 (Vintage, 2013) Mortimer gives the following citations in the book’s notes: > Rowse, _Structure_, p. 97; Dawson, _Plenti & Grase_, p. 85. Thomas Platter notes that the heaviest sheep he sees on his journey weigh 40-60lbs. See Platter, _Travels_, p. 185. The full titles of these works, from the bibliography: > A.L. Rowse, _The England of Elizabeth: The structure of society_ (1951) > Mark Dawson, _Plenti & Grase: Food and drink in a sixteenth-century household_ (Totnes, 2009) > Clare Williams (ed.) _Thomas Platter’s Travels in England 1599_ (1937) [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-are-not-food-being-treated-as-food/1023222.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-are-not-food-being-treated-as-food/1023222.md?page=3)