# Things That Are Technically True But You Shouldn't Say Out Loud **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 28, 2022, 3:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-are-technically-true-but-you-shouldnt-say-out-loud/961839 "2022-03-28T15:28:16Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 7
**Author:** ![digs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/digs/32/14889_2.png) [@digs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/digs)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2022, 2:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-are-technically-true-but-you-shouldnt-say-out-loud/961839/121 "2022-04-01T02:43:48Z")
I was standing alone at a wild party, and I imagined walking up to the loud, popular, drunk group and saying “How many of you would assume dolphins can hold their breaths longer than sloths?” But I imagined silence, followed by me attempting to fill it with “Ummm, see, sloths can hold their breath for up to forty minutes. By slowing their heart rates. Dolphins need to come up for air after eight to twelve minutes. Interesting, huh?” So I didn’t say it. Until now, I guess… ---
**Author:** ![DrDeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b487fb/32.png) [@DrDeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrDeth)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2022, 2:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-are-technically-true-but-you-shouldnt-say-out-loud/961839/122 "2022-04-01T02:53:55Z")
(Johnny Carson Voice) “I did not know that!” ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2022, 3:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-are-technically-true-but-you-shouldnt-say-out-loud/961839/123 "2022-04-01T03:06:12Z")
> [@DrDeth](#): > > When watching a TV show about a nice hooker or courtesan. My wife was admiring the costumes on a period drama and … Ah. See, if my wife asked me that, I would probably give the absurdist answer I could think of like, “why, yes, you’d be the finest whore in Cook County, but you probably couldn’t keep up with those DuPage girls.” That’d be my way of answering a stupid question with a stupid answer. ---
**Author:** ![Cheesesteak](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cheesesteak/32/3694_2.png) [@Cheesesteak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cheesesteak)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2022, 11:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-are-technically-true-but-you-shouldnt-say-out-loud/961839/124 "2022-04-01T11:38:39Z")
> [@DrDeth](#): > > there is no good answer to the (largely hypothetical) question “Do you think I would have made a good prostitute?” “I think you’d be good at whatever you choose to do for a career.” is a better answer than “Sure, but you’ll have to up your game a bit.” ---
**Author:** ![AK84](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/85e7bf/32.png) [@AK84](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AK84)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2022, 12:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-are-technically-true-but-you-shouldnt-say-out-loud/961839/125 "2022-04-01T12:01:53Z")
The context seems to be that he was disobdient in purposely not knocking up his ertshwile SIL. not his impromptu Bukkake ---
**Author:** ![AK84](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/85e7bf/32.png) [@AK84](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AK84)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2022, 12:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-are-technically-true-but-you-shouldnt-say-out-loud/961839/126 "2022-04-01T12:02:42Z")
So his hot sister in law is just dandy? Asking for a uhhh friend. > [@mbh](#): > > Inserting your appendage into someone else’s orifice was active, and dominant, and manly. It was all good, and no one cared who or what you did it to In other words, prison rules. ---
**Author:** ![k9bfriender](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/k9bfriender/32/3283_2.png) [@k9bfriender](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/k9bfriender)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2022, 12:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-are-technically-true-but-you-shouldnt-say-out-loud/961839/127 "2022-04-01T12:47:58Z")
> [@Moriarty](#): > > Human muscle, if properly cooked, is perfectly edible. I had a relative that was a volunteer firefighter, and I still remember him telling me that the worst part of smelling burning human flesh is that it smelled _good_. ---
**Author:** ![CookingWithGas](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cookingwithgas/32/485_2.png) [@CookingWithGas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CookingWithGas)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2022, 2:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-are-technically-true-but-you-shouldnt-say-out-loud/961839/128 "2022-04-01T14:16:08Z")
Cats and dogs walk on tiptoe. ---
**Author:** ![AK84](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/85e7bf/32.png) [@AK84](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AK84)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2022, 2:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-are-technically-true-but-you-shouldnt-say-out-loud/961839/129 "2022-04-01T14:20:24Z")
Been told that by some combat veterans as well. ---
**Author:** ![eschereal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eschereal/32/18939_2.png) [@eschereal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eschereal)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2022, 2:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-are-technically-true-but-you-shouldnt-say-out-loud/961839/130 "2022-04-01T14:53:14Z")
Reminds me of the one time on a forum that had a fair contingent of Brits when one of the Americans referenced the Donner Party and most of the Brits inferred it to be a typo because of the proximity of “o” and “i” on the typical keyboard and its obscurity relative to British culture. We were amused. ---
**Author:** ![Yllaria](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yllaria/32/3452_2.png) [@Yllaria](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yllaria)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2022, 7:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-are-technically-true-but-you-shouldnt-say-out-loud/961839/131 "2022-04-01T19:20:35Z")
> [@digs](#): > > So I didn’t say it. > > Until now, I guess… Well, know your audience. I enjoyed hearing it. ---
**Author:** ![Exapno\_Mapcase](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/exapno_mapcase/32/1051_2.png) [@Exapno\_Mapcase](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Exapno_Mapcase)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2022, 7:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-are-technically-true-but-you-shouldnt-say-out-loud/961839/132 "2022-04-01T19:50:06Z")
> [@k9bfriender](#): > > I had a relative that was a volunteer firefighter, and I still remember him telling me that the worst part of smelling burning human flesh is that it smelled _good_ . I had an [Uvulopalatoplasty](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Uvulopalatoplasty), “a surgical procedure performed with the aim of reducing or eliminating snoring . It is an out-patient procedure, in which a laser is used to remove parts or all of the uvula at the rear of the mouth.” The uvula is numbed and then the laser literally burns the flesh away. Dense smoke emerges - that smells exactly like barbecue. _Exactly_. Minimal pain or discomfort, even later, but one of the weirder medical experiences of my life. Apparently the doctor’s assistant didn’t show up, so he had me hold the suction device that was needed to suck up the smoke so his could see where he was burning. He somehow didn’t take into account that I couldn’t see into the back of my throat, no could I feel the area, so I had no idea where exactly to point the thing. He kept yelling at me for not getting it right. OK, I got that he didn’t want to burn me accidentally, but dude, like this really was my first rodeo. Worse, since that time, studies show that the procedure is not very effective against snoring, and may even make it worse. Oh, right, technically true but shouldn’t say out loud: you shouldn’t tell a doctor with an active laser inside your mouth that he’s acting like a nitwit. I didn’t. I just never came back. ---
**Author:** ![DesertDog](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/desertdog/32/11503_2.png) [@DesertDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DesertDog)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2022, 5:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-are-technically-true-but-you-shouldnt-say-out-loud/961839/133 "2022-04-02T05:23:02Z")
> [@eschereal](#): > > most of the Brits inferred it to be a typo Well, they weren’t _entirely_ wrong. ---
**Author:** ![Ann\_Hedonia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ann_hedonia/32/319_2.png) [@Ann\_Hedonia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ann_Hedonia)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2022, 3:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-are-technically-true-but-you-shouldnt-say-out-loud/961839/134 "2022-04-03T15:06:25Z")
> [@Moriarty](#): > > > [@Cervaise](#): > > > > This thread has taken a strange turn considering the title and how it started. > > Yeah, exactly how old are some of your grandmothers?! That was my first thought when I read this thread……just how _old_ do you think we are? It’s 2022, do you think our grannies where hustling across the prairie in covered wagons? Then I did the math. My maternal grandmother was born in 1880. That made me feel very old. ---
**Author:** ![puzzlegal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/puzzlegal/32/3827_2.png) [@puzzlegal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/puzzlegal)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2022, 3:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-are-technically-true-but-you-shouldnt-say-out-loud/961839/135 "2022-04-03T15:24:07Z")
Hmm, my grandparents were all born in the 1900s. Some early in the 1900s, but… ---
**Author:** ![Ann\_Hedonia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ann_hedonia/32/319_2.png) [@Ann\_Hedonia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ann_Hedonia)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2022, 3:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-are-technically-true-but-you-shouldnt-say-out-loud/961839/136 "2022-04-03T15:57:55Z")
My mother was the youngest child in a large family, and her mother was 48 when she was born. She was a surprise, I think, there was an 8 year gap between her and her next youngest sibling. When I was a child, I thought aunts and uncles were always old people. My mom was born in 1928. ---
**Author:** ![Moriarty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/moriarty/32/49_2.png) [@Moriarty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Moriarty)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2022, 10:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-are-technically-true-but-you-shouldnt-say-out-loud/961839/137 "2022-04-03T22:21:53Z")
Carrying on: Actors just pretend to go to work You’ve never actually seen your face\* You are always touching something \*And because you’ve only seen a reflection, you’re picturing your hair’s part - “don’t hit me Will; I ain’t talking ‘bout people with Jada’s look!” - on the wrong side of your head. ---
**Author:** ![eschereal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eschereal/32/18939_2.png) [@eschereal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eschereal)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2022, 10:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-are-technically-true-but-you-shouldnt-say-out-loud/961839/138 "2022-04-03T22:31:07Z")
Most trees are almost entirely composed of non-living matter. ---
**Author:** ![digs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/digs/32/14889_2.png) [@digs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/digs)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2022, 10:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-are-technically-true-but-you-shouldnt-say-out-loud/961839/139 "2022-04-03T22:39:02Z")
> [@Moriarty](#): > > You’ve never actually seen your face… … duuude … I can’t stop picturing all these truths intoned by the stoners I hung out with in college. Who all kind of sounded like Theodore “Ted” Logan after about 2 am (as the substances they were abusing got them to do _some serious pontification, muh man_… ) ---
**Author:** ![DesertDog](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/desertdog/32/11503_2.png) [@DesertDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DesertDog)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2022, 3:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-are-technically-true-but-you-shouldnt-say-out-loud/961839/140 "2022-04-04T03:14:17Z")
> [@Ann\_Hedonia](#): > > It’s 2022, do you think our grannies where hustling across the prairie in covered wagons? One the family stories from my maternal grandmother was on their migration from Indiana to Kansas, sitting on the tailgate of a covered wagon watching the landscape rolling by ever so slowly. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-are-technically-true-but-you-shouldnt-say-out-loud/961839.md?page=6) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-are-technically-true-but-you-shouldnt-say-out-loud/961839.md?page=8)