# Things that bug you about Star Trek **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [May 10, 2003, 4:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-bug-you-about-star-trek/174270 "2003-05-10T04:30:52Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![vivalostwages](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/d07c76/32.png) [@vivalostwages](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vivalostwages)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2003, 4:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-bug-you-about-star-trek/174270/101 "2003-05-13T04:40:44Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Cervaise \* > \*\*…being “series television.” > > SNIP > > Shows that depend heavily on continuity, like _Buffy_ and _NYPD Blue_, drive syndicators and programmers crazy. In order to introduce the show to someone who’s never seen it before, you are required to have thirty to sixty seconds recapping recent important plot points in order to contextualize what follows. This recap (1) reduces the amount of time that can be devoted to the episode (say, from 42 minutes to 41 minutes), and (2) cannot be cut down because they’re already made as tight as possible by the original producers due to point 1. (Syndicators are notorious for trimming out a few seconds here and a few seconds there so they can cram in another commercial). > SNIP > \*\* Speaking of this…I’d read a gripe somewhere that _Enterprise_ is only being allotted about 39 minutes for the story, with the rest being commercials. I checked it out with a tape and it’s true. About a minute, if that, for the teaser. Then ads. 8 minutes of show. More ads. Another 8 minutes of show. Ads. 11 minutes of show, ads, then the last 11 minutes, then a few more ads and a teaser for next week’s ep. Add 1 plus 8 plus 8 plus 11 plus 11. That’s 39 minutes. Is this “normal” for other shows that are an hour-long? Somehow, I doubt it. ---
**Author:** ![shep\_proudfoot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/90db22/32.png) [@shep\_proudfoot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/shep_proudfoot)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2003, 5:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-bug-you-about-star-trek/174270/102 "2003-05-13T05:14:36Z")
By the Next Generation ended, Gene was out of the picture, so the producers of DS9 could begin to move away from his vision. Thus, we get money, and rouge elements in the Federation government, and religion. That’s what made DS9 the best Trek by far of them all. They had war, greed, sex, death, all the good stuff the other series lacked. I found TNG to either be very good, or very bad. Patrick Stewart was excellent in his role. Jonathan Frakes went to the Star Trek bad school of acting, along with Willaim Shatner and Scott Bakula (what is a Bakula anyway?) SP ---
**Author:** ![vivalostwages](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/d07c76/32.png) [@vivalostwages](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vivalostwages)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2003, 5:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-bug-you-about-star-trek/174270/103 "2003-05-13T05:19:21Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by shep proudfoot \* > \*\*SNIP (what is a Bakula anyway?) > > SP \*\* A flower, so says the IMDB. Don’t know what language, though. ---
**Author:** ![Manduck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/manduck/32/256_2.png) [@Manduck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Manduck)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2003, 5:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-bug-you-about-star-trek/174270/104 "2003-05-13T05:34:58Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by vivalostwages \* > \*\*Is “woodaben” a word trademarked by you, NCB, or did you pick it up during your Board wanderings? > Is there also a couldaben and a shouldaben and a mightaben and an oughtaben? \*\* I think there hastabe. ---
**Author:** ![blowero](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/41988e/32.png) [@blowero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blowero)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2003, 7:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-bug-you-about-star-trek/174270/105 "2003-05-13T07:38:06Z")
O.K., why are they always battling another ship, and for whatever reason, the phasers and/or warp drive are not functioning? Then it’s the race against time to repair the phasers before the shields fail. I can see how it might have made for a nice plot-suspense device, if they hadn’t done it 62 million times. So it’s always: "Shields are weakening…Shields at 20 percent…Shields at 10 percent…Shields are gone…Uh, no - you wouldn’t even have time to _say_ “shields are gone”, because you would at that instant be tasting hot alien phaser death. Sorry, but those aliens ain’t gonna patiently wait 30-60 seconds between each phaser blast to give you time to reroute your damaged systems and fire back at them. ---
**Author:** ![Sock\_Munkey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/aeb1de/32.png) [@Sock\_Munkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sock_Munkey)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2003, 10:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-bug-you-about-star-trek/174270/106 "2003-05-13T10:20:08Z")
The lack of thought about what the implications of the doctor on Voyager being a hologram were. For instance, they could give him any size, shape, strength, or number of limbs needed to perform a task. When he was using the mobile emitter why oh why did he wear it on the OUTSIDE of his sleeve to get bumped on every doorway instead of inside his head or chest? Heck, as long as there were openings large enough for the emitter to pass through he should have been able to walk through any obstacle. How about phasing his hands through someones body with holographic instruments to perform surgery without having to open up the patient? Trek in general does a lousy job of thinking out the full implications of the technology they use. ---
**Author:** ![SPOOFE](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c5a1d2/32.png) [@SPOOFE](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SPOOFE)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2003, 10:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-bug-you-about-star-trek/174270/107 "2003-05-13T10:48:27Z")
I think what bugs me is the lack of anything that isn’t “133t High Tech”. Sure, they got phasers and photon torpedoes… but whatever happened to more conventional weaponry when phasers are knocked offline? What happened to backup gear? How come there’s only ONE type of gun that’s supposed to be used in all situations? Fer Christ’s sake, mount a couple railguns on turrets in the saucer section… or howzabout a few vulcan - er, gatling guns to serve as anti-missile defense in addition to the shields? Where’s the redundancy? How come there’s only one type of sidearm, and no other away team gear? It’s always just phaser and a tricorder. Howzabout a couple of old fashioned gunpowder-an’-bullet guns to take care of those pesky Borg, when it’s not convenient to lure them into the holodeck? Or SOME type of projectile weapon, one that doesn’t broadcast the shooter’s position to anybody in a two kilometer radius? Or maybe some personal body armor? How come there needs to be a glowy-blue LCD panel attached to everything? How come everything needs to rely on subspace to function? Whatever happened to good ol’ CB radio when your fancy-shmancy communicators are knocked out due to somebody farting too close? Or maybe just a laser pen so you can transmit to your ship via morse code? ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Excellent](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f19dbf/32.png) [@Mr.Excellent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Excellent)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2003, 12:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-bug-you-about-star-trek/174270/108 "2003-05-13T12:29:18Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by elf6c \* > \*\* I don’t recall him ever being introduced as the Science Officer. \*\* Remember the episode from the first season with the body-snatcher aliens? Little buglike things, had a gill that stuck out the side of the victim’s neck? Infiltrating the highest levels of starfleet - a crisis, by the way, that was never actually touched on again in the series. :rolleyes: Anyway, when the admiral comes on board the Enterprise who’s been taken over by the alien-bug thingie, he tries to get Riker to come close to a container holding another bug-thingie so Riker can be taken over. He says something like “Take a look - it is a superior form of life.” Riker says he’ll get his science officer, to which the admiral replies “It won’t like your science officer - it does like you!” The bug thingie can’t take over an android. So there you go - a reference to Data as the science officer. Yes, I’m a dork. ---
**Author:** ![elf6c](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/c57346/32.png) [@elf6c](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elf6c)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2003, 12:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-bug-you-about-star-trek/174270/109 "2003-05-13T12:55:14Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Mr. Excellent \* > \*\*Remember the episode from the first season with the body-snatcher aliens? Little buglike things, had a gill that stuck out the side of the victim’s neck? Infiltrating the highest levels of starfleet - a crisis, by the way, that was never actually touched on again in the series. :rolleyes: > > Anyway, when the admiral comes on board the Enterprise who’s been taken over by the alien-bug thingie, he tries to get Riker to come close to a container holding another bug-thingie so Riker can be taken over. He says something like “Take a look - it is a superior form of life.” Riker says he’ll get his science officer, to which the admiral replies “It won’t like your science officer - it does like you!” The bug thingie can’t take over an android. So there you go - a reference to Data as the science officer. > > Yes, I’m a dork. \*\* Ahh, but it never said because “he was an android” just that he wouldn’t like him. The bugs only wanted certain people in certain positions of power or control. Remember the “you were not meant for him” line. I think they wanted Beverly Crusher instead (because she was the doctor- and could be used to dispense more bugs). In any event, just because they didn’t want the Science Officer does not mean it was Data. It just means the Science Officer isn’t important enough. Also, someone said he normally sits at “Ops” in the front by the helm. Wouldn’t that make him the “Operations Officer”? Not that it matters- he never sat in one place for more then 5 minutes befor Picard had him running around the ship advancing the plot. Maybe he was the Science Officer, but your evidence does not prove that point. ---
**Author:** ![NoCoolUserName](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/5fc32e/32.png) [@NoCoolUserName](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NoCoolUserName)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2003, 1:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-bug-you-about-star-trek/174270/110 "2003-05-13T13:25:52Z")
Well, no one has mentioned my personal gripe: lousy writers! There are a bunch of writers out there who understand plot, technology, future history, etc. Science Fiction writers! The only well-written ep of TOS was when Harlan took pen in hand and turned it out. It’s still TV (meaning CotEoF), yeah, but sooooooo much better than any of the others. The major problem with (almost) ALL the episodes of ALL the versions is that they were written by Hollywood Hacks ™. ---
**Author:** ![TwungTister](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bbce88/32.png) [@TwungTister](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TwungTister)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2003, 2:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-bug-you-about-star-trek/174270/111 "2003-05-13T14:08:39Z")
Its mechanical nature. Shatner’s boy-girl scenes. where no man has gone before? All the inhabitants are Earthlings. The entire original is Cowboys and Indians. Counselor Troi does not work in the sick bay. Doctor Crusher does. The movies. The movies. The movies. The entire film is inside jokes. Original and Next Generation cast members meet each other. The whales. Seven of Nine. I hate the Simpsons ---
**Author:** ![Skammer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skammer/32/143_2.png) [@Skammer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skammer)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2003, 2:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-bug-you-about-star-trek/174270/112 "2003-05-13T14:27:06Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Marine\_One \* > **I want to see what a starship toilet looks like.** Then pull out your copy of _Star Trek V: The Final Frontier_. Check out the scene where Sybok tosses Kirk, Spock and McCoy in the brig. Kirk chastises Spock for not killing Sybok when he had the chance. Spock announces that he couldn’t because Sybok is his brother. When Kirk realizes what Spock means, he smacks a button on the wall. Out pops the toilet! (lid down) Kirk sits on it to gather his thoughts. I don’t know if it’s worth sitting though that movie again to see it, but it’s there. There’s even a little sign above the flush button that says “Do not use while in spacedock.” ---
**Author:** ![RikWriter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/49beb7/32.png) [@RikWriter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RikWriter)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2003, 2:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-bug-you-about-star-trek/174270/113 "2003-05-13T14:35:59Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Mr. Excellent \* > \*\*Remember the episode from the first season with the body-snatcher aliens? Little buglike things, had a gill that stuck out the side of the victim’s neck? Infiltrating the highest levels of starfleet - a crisis, by the way, that was never actually touched on again in the series. :rolleyes: > \*\* That episode kicked ass. I was SERIOUSLY disappointed they let that plotline die. ---
**Author:** ![garius](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e19b73/32.png) [@garius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/garius)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2003, 2:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-bug-you-about-star-trek/174270/114 "2003-05-13T14:57:03Z")
I love a good bit of Trek but a couple of things bug me. The first being: “Earl Grey, Hot” Oh come on! Who on earth drinks Earl Grey **cold**. I could understand why, in some contexts, you’d want to specify temperature/cookedness: “Steak – medium-rare - and Chips.” But it’s a cup of Earl Grey – of course he wants it hot! And the second is: Synth-Ale. (Or whatever they call that non-alcoholic crap). Two words: **SOD OFF**. If that’s the future then I want no part of it. > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Diceman \* > **it really annoyed me as to how Next Generation turned the ship’s engineers into all-knowing geniuses. Geordi was easily as intelligent as Data. How does a guy who doesn’t look much older than I am (late 20’s) have in-depth experience in mechanics, electronics, particle physics, high-energy physics, chemistry, and every other field pf expertise that the crew might need. The guy is the Dr. Quest of the future.** He doesn’t. You are making a fundamental mistake in thinking that a Star Trek “Engineer” is roughly equivalent to what we’d currently understand as an “Engineer”. This is not the case. My evidence for this? 1. Everything that has been mentioned thus far about the Enterprise’s lack of redundancy, dodgy warp core and lack of a common sense approach to design and construction. 2. The fact that half the Enterprise isn’t in small pieces on the floor of Engineering - there is no way a true Engineer could resist “tinkering” with things on those long dull trips between hostile planets. My theory is that two groups of professions become starship engineers … _Geordie is showing Newbie Garius around_ **Geordi** : …anyway, that’s pretty much everything to see here in Engineering. I’ll take you up to Personnel in a minute and we’ll get you sorted out with your comm badge. **Garius** : Cool. **Geordie** : After that I’ll give you a quick tour of the other key parts of the ship. You’re going to love the holodeck. You know there’s a joke around here: “Why are Engineers always single?” **Garius** : _smiles_ I don’t know. Why? **Geordie** : “Because they are always ‘fixing’ the holodeck!” **Garius** : _laughs_ that true? **Geordie** : Hell Yeah! Oh…I’ll also take you up to the bridge later to meet Captain Picard – he’s French like you. **Garius** : Um…I’m British. **Geordie** : Oh sorry! My mistake! Since you sound just like the Captain I assumed…never mind. Silly Me! You Europeans with your cuh-razy accents! _Picard enters._ **Geordie** :Ah Captain, we were just talking about you sir! May I introduce Lieutenant Garius – my new second in command. **Picard** : Delighted to meet you young man – you must join me later for a cup of Earl Grey, hot. Geordie – we seem to be suffering from a major power drain. Any ideas? **Geordie** : Sounds like phase-shifting quantum Aliens sir! Probably using a tachyon beam to syphon off power from our systems through subspace! I remember Erikson from Sigma VI wrote something about this in his last scientific paper. Called it the “leech effect”. We’ve got about 2 hours before it ruptures the Warp Core! Garius come on! I’ll re-route primary power through the secondary systems whilst you reverse the polarity of the plasma conduits. Its our only hope! Captain you better get to the bridge – we might need to Separate the Saucer Section! \*Picard runs off in a panic. Geordie and Garius burst into laughter.\* **Garius** : Bloody brilliant! And you say that works every time?! **Geordie** : Yep! This job is sweet! I’m telling you man – the day I gave up being a Mechanic and blagged this job was the best day of my life! Come on – fan belt has snapped on the core again. Take us about ten minutes to fix - Two minutes to replace. Eight to persuade one of the female Ensigns to give us her nylons. No money for spares – we blew the budget on Romulan Ale again. We’ll be buggered if we are going to drink that Synth-Ale crap! **Garius** : Mate, if cash is tight we can always charge an extortionate monthly consultancy fee for “support and services”. Its what I used to do when I was a Web Designer. **Geordie** : Great Idea! Come on lets get this sorted quick – I’m dying to try the new “Bishops Finger” Ale we got in last week. It got rave reviews in the last CAMRA newsletter. **Garius** : You’re a member of the Campaign for Romulan Ale? Me too! _Geordie and Garius slowly walk off into the distance._ **Geordie** : Garius, this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship… ---
**Author:** ![robby](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robby/32/11048_2.png) [@robby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robby)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2003, 4:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-bug-you-about-star-trek/174270/115 "2003-05-13T16:27:01Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by X~Slayer(ALE) \* > \*\ ***Things that DONT bug me about Star Trek** > > \*No seatbelts. Do seats in Navy carriers and destroyers have seatbelts? How can you design safety apparatus on a starship for an eventuality that only happens rarely (plotwise) if at all. Most of the time, inertia dampeners and gravity plates take care of the tossing around. \*\* A closer analogue to a starship is a modern nuclear submarine, which does indeed have seatbelts, particularly for the ship control personnel (such as the helmsman, etc.). ---
**Author:** ![aubries](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/53a042/32.png) [@aubries](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aubries)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2003, 4:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-bug-you-about-star-trek/174270/116 "2003-05-13T16:58:31Z")
1. Fans who speak Klingon. 2. People who use that as evidence that all fans are insane. ---
**Author:** ![blowero](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/41988e/32.png) [@blowero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blowero)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2003, 9:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-bug-you-about-star-trek/174270/117 "2003-05-13T21:23:44Z")
[QUOTE] \*Originally posted by garius \* \*\*I love a good bit of Trek but a couple of things bug me. The first being: “Earl Grey, Hot” Oh come on! Who on earth drinks Earl Grey **cold**. My take on that was that they probably had a continuum of temperature options, like cold, room temp, lukewarm, medium hot, very hot, or whatever. Besides, iced Earl Grey is good! ---
**Author:** ![vivalostwages](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/d07c76/32.png) [@vivalostwages](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vivalostwages)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2003, 9:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-bug-you-about-star-trek/174270/118 "2003-05-13T21:56:44Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Manduck \* > \*\*I think there hastabe. \*\* Or gotstabe. ---
**Author:** ![SPOOFE](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c5a1d2/32.png) [@SPOOFE](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SPOOFE)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2003, 10:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-bug-you-about-star-trek/174270/119 "2003-05-13T22:10:32Z")
> [@](#): > > gotstabe When I first saw that, I thought it said “goatse”. ---
**Author:** ![vivalostwages](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/d07c76/32.png) [@vivalostwages](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vivalostwages)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2003, 10:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-bug-you-about-star-trek/174270/120 "2003-05-13T22:40:50Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by SPOOFE \* > \*\*When I first saw that, I thought it said “goatse”. \*\* And I thought your word was “tsetse.” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-bug-you-about-star-trek/174270.md?page=5) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-bug-you-about-star-trek/174270.md?page=7)