# Things that cannot be improved upon **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [August 14, 2002, 3:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-cannot-be-improved-upon/123793 "2002-08-14T03:48:05Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Fiddle\_Peghead](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fiddle_peghead/32/3506_2.png) [@Fiddle\_Peghead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fiddle_Peghead)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2002, 3:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-cannot-be-improved-upon/123793/1 "2002-08-14T03:48:05Z")
I was doing a crossword puzzle today, and a certain character from a certain magazine was one of the clues. When I realized the answer, it hit me that this character perfectly suited the image the magazine wanted to project. This led me to think of other perfect examples of creative expression. Here are a few that entered my mind. What are yours? 1. The sly, mocking, knowing grin of Alfred E. Neuman. Could MAD Magazine have been a success without him? Can you even think of MAD without seeing his smirking mug? 2. The song, “Lookin’ Out My Back Door”. John Fogerty wrote many great songs, but there’s something about this one. I can’t explain it, but the melody seems like it always existed, and Fogerty and CCR merely put it into recorded form for the first time. 3. Wassily Kandinsky’s [Composition No.8, 1923](http://www.sloth.com/kandinsky/comp_8.html). My eighth grade art teacher had us students make an abstract ink drawing, and tried to explain to us how the various forms should balance each other out to create a harmonious, beautiful whole. I had no idea what she was talking about. She should have shown us this painting. 4. Ray Charles singing “The Sun’s Gonna Shine Again”. Listen to some of it [here](http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/B00000338F/qid=1029287324/sr=1-1/ref=sr_1_1/104-2849077-6951162). Bring a credit card, because I’m quite sure you’ll want it. 5. Truman Capote’s short story, “A Christmas Memory”. Sentimental to its core, but don’t let that dissuade you (as if sentimentality was a bad thing). ---
**Author:** ![Smeghead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f1d935/32.png) [@Smeghead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smeghead)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2002, 4:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-cannot-be-improved-upon/123793/2 "2002-08-14T04:42:05Z")
\ You know, I bet the earliest fly swatters were nothing more than some sort of striking surface attached to a handle. \ ---
**Author:** ![Grasshopper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/f19dbf/32.png) [@Grasshopper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grasshopper)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2002, 8:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-cannot-be-improved-upon/123793/3 "2002-08-14T08:29:20Z")
Simon and Garfunkel’s Bridge Over Troubled Water (did Gafunkel do the singing?) Of all the ‘I’m here for you’ sort of songs, this one’s my favorite, I love the lyrics and the music. “If you need a friend, I’m sailing right behind.” Charlotte’s Web - one of my favorite books ever, and it deals with friendship, death, loyalty, loneliness, and talking animals, which I always loved when I was a kiddie. -Dippin ‘wearing gloves and holding a wad of tissues cause I just saw a spider in my room and it hid before I could get to it, and now I’m waiting for it to duck out again so I can get it, blargh’ Dots ---
**Author:** ![Go\_alien](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/9d8465/32.png) [@Go\_alien](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Go_alien)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2002, 10:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-cannot-be-improved-upon/123793/4 "2002-08-14T10:45:57Z")
Rose’s Lime Marmalade - the perfect companion to toast. ---
**Author:** ![Go\_alien](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/9d8465/32.png) [@Go\_alien](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Go_alien)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2002, 10:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-cannot-be-improved-upon/123793/5 "2002-08-14T10:59:33Z")
Rose’s Lime Marmalade - the perfect companion to toast. ---
**Author:** ![Go\_alien](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/9d8465/32.png) [@Go\_alien](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Go_alien)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2002, 11:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-cannot-be-improved-upon/123793/6 "2002-08-14T11:07:41Z")
Rose’s Lime Marmalade - the perfect companion to toast. ---
**Author:** ![Go\_alien](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/9d8465/32.png) [@Go\_alien](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Go_alien)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2002, 11:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-cannot-be-improved-upon/123793/7 "2002-08-14T11:09:41Z")
A triple post, my first.😃 ---
**Author:** ![Cholo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/58f4c7/32.png) [@Cholo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cholo)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2002, 11:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-cannot-be-improved-upon/123793/8 "2002-08-14T11:19:31Z")
The Rolling Stones’ “Jumpin’ Jack Flash”: Flawless arrangement Gibson Les Pauls: Gorgeous sound and look Great White Sharks: Perfect predators ---
**Author:** ![Laughing\_Lagomorph](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/6bbea6/32.png) [@Laughing\_Lagomorph](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Laughing_Lagomorph)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2002, 11:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-cannot-be-improved-upon/123793/9 "2002-08-14T11:57:32Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by dippin dots \* > **…Charlotte’s Web - one of my favorite books ever… > … I just saw a spider in my room and it hid before I could get to it, and now I’m waiting for it to duck out again so I can get it…** :eek: You’re going to squish Charlotte? :eek: **Cholo** , I remember an interview with Keith Richards when he said Jumping Jack Flash was one of his least favorite Stones songs, certainly one of his least favorite hits. Something about the guitar riff being too simple and repetitive. ---
**Author:** ![elf6c](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/c57346/32.png) [@elf6c](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elf6c)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2002, 1:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-cannot-be-improved-upon/123793/10 "2002-08-14T13:06:57Z")
Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back. Lucas you hack- don’t you dare screw this movie up like you did to poor Star Wars (Greedo shoots first my ass). ---
**Author:** ![Honey](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/honey/32/5074_2.png) [@Honey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Honey)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2002, 1:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-cannot-be-improved-upon/123793/11 "2002-08-14T13:52:18Z")
**Leonids, Nov, 2001** **Shawshank Redemption** - The casting of Tim Robbins and Morgan Freeman. **The X-Files** - The casting of Gillian Anderson and David Duchovny **Seinfeld** **Kendall Jackson Chardonnay** **Linger** - Song by the Cranberries **To Sir, With Love** - The movie and the song **Silver Queen** - corn-on-the-cob ---
**Author:** ![El\_Elvis\_Rojo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/898d66/32.png) [@El\_Elvis\_Rojo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/El_Elvis_Rojo)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2002, 2:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-cannot-be-improved-upon/123793/12 "2002-08-14T14:02:55Z")
Toilet bowls. We just installed these fancy new “self flushing” ones at work, and they’re absolutely terrible! It’s frightening to be sitting on the can and have it automatically try and pull you in like some porceline water demon. GAH!!! Leave well enough alone, people. ---
**Author:** ![DougAB](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e47c2d/32.png) [@DougAB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DougAB)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2002, 2:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-cannot-be-improved-upon/123793/13 "2002-08-14T14:05:09Z")
I gotta say, I don’t want anyone touching my copy of \*\* Dark Side of the Moon \*\*. It’s perfect just how it is, thank you. ---
**Author:** ![Mockingbird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c68b51/32.png) [@Mockingbird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mockingbird)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2002, 4:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-cannot-be-improved-upon/123793/14 "2002-08-14T16:00:48Z")
The movie **Shirley Valentine**. It is perfection just as it stands. ---
**Author:** ![tiny\_ham](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@tiny\_ham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tiny_ham)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2002, 4:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-cannot-be-improved-upon/123793/15 "2002-08-14T16:32:58Z")
Vin Diesel ---
**Author:** ![tiny\_ham](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@tiny\_ham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tiny_ham)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2002, 4:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-cannot-be-improved-upon/123793/16 "2002-08-14T16:38:55Z")
Vin Diesel ---
**Author:** ![widdershins](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f0a364/32.png) [@widdershins](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/widdershins)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2002, 12:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-cannot-be-improved-upon/123793/17 "2002-08-15T00:04:28Z")
“Ace Of Spades” by Motorhead. When I try to think of the perfect heavy metal song, one song that can easily introduce the genre to the first time listener, I always think of this one. Not anything by Sabbath, AC/DC, or anyone else comes close. Loud, fast, ugly, and in your face. _The Right Stuff_. Even someone as jaded as myself feels a sense of pride watching this one. It tells you a patriotic epic tale, warts and all, and I still can’t help but smile when I finish watching it. _Melencolia I_ by Albrecht Durer. Not one thing could be added to or taken away from the composition of this engraving. The possibilities and frustrations of creativity intermingling perfectly. The Kalashnikov assault rifle (AK-47, AKM, AK-74, and variants). Deadly, simple, cheap, rugged, reliable, instantly recognizable, menacing. Probably the best icon of mass-production and the Industrial Age. The Atomic Mushroom Cloud. The first time you see a still picture of one you _feel_ how horrible it is. Nothing that looks like that can ever be considered harmless. It always looks out of place and commands your attention. ---
**Author:** ![AHunter3](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ahunter3/32/368_2.png) [@AHunter3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AHunter3)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2002, 12:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-cannot-be-improved-upon/123793/18 "2002-08-15T00:52:22Z")
Where the heck did my post go? This isn’t another one of those “the hampsters ate my post” complaints: I posted a long wordy post, someone posted in reply to it, and I posted in reply to THAT, and they are all three gone now? WTF? ---
**Author:** ![widdershins](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f0a364/32.png) [@widdershins](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/widdershins)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2002, 1:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-cannot-be-improved-upon/123793/19 "2002-08-15T01:10:09Z")
Stealth hamster post eating. The black helicopters and cattle mutilations of the SDMB. But seriously, **AHunter3** , for some reason your post and the replies are in another thread called “ **some** things that cannot be improved upon” with the same OP and poster. ---
**Author:** ![Fiddle\_Peghead](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fiddle_peghead/32/3506_2.png) [@Fiddle\_Peghead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fiddle_Peghead)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2002, 1:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-cannot-be-improved-upon/123793/20 "2002-08-15T01:23:35Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Cholo \* > \*\* > > Gibson Les Pauls: Gorgeous sound and look > > \*\* Well, **Cholo** , you and I are of the same mind (sort of). I was considering in my thread mentioning a perfectly formed electric guitar, but couldn’t decide upon a Les Paul, specifically the '57 Gold Top, or perhaps a Gretsch Duo Jet, or maybe any of a myriad of gorgeous Rickenbackers, so I just gave up and punted. Sort of makes me want to start a thread on great guitar designs. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-cannot-be-improved-upon/123793.md?page=2)