# Things that can't be unheard **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [February 5, 2013, 4:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-cant-be-unheard/649359 "2013-02-05T04:05:26Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 10\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Snarky\_Kong](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a183cd/32.png) [@Snarky\_Kong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snarky_Kong)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2013, 3:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-cant-be-unheard/649359/41 "2013-02-10T03:42:37Z")
> [@carnivorousplant](#): > > How the hell would somebody’s _ **Mother** _ know what… > > No, no, no. :eek: Well, storks don’t really bring babies you know. ---
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2013, 3:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-cant-be-unheard/649359/42 "2013-02-10T03:50:52Z")
I once overheard some dude talking to another guy at work. He was talking about _his daughter_. He says, “Yeah, shes really cute and petite. Just right for pickin’ up and bangin’ on your stick!” :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Pixiesnix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/898d66/32.png) [@Pixiesnix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pixiesnix)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2013, 3:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-cant-be-unheard/649359/43 "2013-02-10T03:59:49Z")
Thanks, **gigi** and **faithfool** , I am truly fortunate to be his daughter. **gigi** , I’m sorry for the loss of your mom, I know how much it hurts. **faithfool** , I’m sorry your mother said that terrible thing to you, you deserve much better. **Dogzilla** , a belated (or early) “You will always be young and beautiful.” 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2013, 4:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-cant-be-unheard/649359/44 "2013-02-10T04:05:16Z")
> [@Enkel](#): > > I have one thing that comes to mind. It was uttered by my father and was so traumatic that I cannot bring myself to type it out. Yeah, got some of that too. Going to go to my grave never forgiving him or my sister for a couple of things they’ve said - and never having told them. ---
**Author:** ![dexter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/dc4da7/32.png) [@dexter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dexter)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2013, 4:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-cant-be-unheard/649359/45 "2013-02-10T04:08:05Z")
> [@Gatopescado](#): > > I once overheard some dude talking to another guy at work. He was talking about _his daughter_. He says, “Yeah, shes really cute and petite. Just right for pickin’ up and bangin’ on your stick!” > > :eek: OMG! OMG! Where’s the brain bleach! Now damn-it!:eek::eek: ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2013, 5:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-cant-be-unheard/649359/46 "2013-02-10T05:09:02Z")
> [@carnivorousplant](#): > > Mama Plant was hallucinating. She saw people who weren’t there and was afraid of them. That was rough, “I swear to G-d, Mama, there’s nobody there.” My father had a similar experience with his mom – she would alternate between saying how beautiful it was and how awful and how no one could help her.☹ ---
**Author:** ![gerund](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/ed655f/32.png) [@gerund](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gerund)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2013, 5:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-cant-be-unheard/649359/47 "2013-02-10T05:54:39Z")
> [@Gatopescado](#): > > I once overheard some dude talking to another guy at work. He was talking about _his daughter_. He says, “Yeah, shes really cute and petite. Just right for pickin’ up and bangin’ on your stick!” > > :eek: On this note, there was a retired cardiologist who used to lecture us weekly in medical school on my Internal Medicine rotation. One day he turns to me and pulls out a picture of his 15-year-old granddaughter from his wallet. He shows it to me and says, “You see that? She’s my granddaughter. She’s 15. Her body…just as good as her face.” ---
**Author:** ![Uber\_the\_Goober](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/58956e/32.png) [@Uber\_the\_Goober](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Uber_the_Goober)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2013, 3:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-cant-be-unheard/649359/48 "2013-02-10T15:58:34Z")
> [@Pixiesnix](#): > > Can I add a heartwarming one? > > I was trying to get Dad up for his radiation treatment (he died from brain cancer about a week and a half ago) and I said something to the effect of, “I don’t care if you don’t like me at the moment, you have to get up.” > > He looked me in the eye and said, “Honey, I will never not like you.” > > It’s something I will always carry with me, in a good way. That’s a fantastic thing to be left with - sucky that he died, but great to have heard that before he kicked. ---
**Author:** ![ArrMatey](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/arrmatey/32/3522_2.png) [@ArrMatey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ArrMatey)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2013, 11:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-cant-be-unheard/649359/49 "2013-02-11T23:17:30Z")
The words were bad, the context was worse. When I was 13, my grandfather died. On the way back from the funeral, I got into the car next to my dad. My dad turned to me and said, “My father was never my friend. I don’t intend on being yours.” At that moment, he defined our relationship for the rest of our lives. Now, years later in a family therapy session, he clarified what he meant- He meant that his father had never shown kindness to him, and that he was terrified that he’d be unable to show any to me, so he wasn’t going to try to. It’s still bad, but I -understand- it. 13-year-old grieving me? No. Dad became the enemy. And in some small way, he’s been so ever since. ---
**Author:** ![Rachellelogram](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rachellelogram/32/8689_2.png) [@Rachellelogram](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rachellelogram)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2013, 12:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-cant-be-unheard/649359/50 "2013-02-12T00:26:01Z")
> [@ArrMatey](#): > > The words were bad, the context was worse. > When I was 13, my grandfather died. On the way back from the funeral, I got into the car next to my dad. My dad turned to me and said, “My father was never my friend. I don’t intend on being yours.” > > At that moment, he defined our relationship for the rest of our lives. Now, years later in a family therapy session, he clarified what he meant- He meant that his father had never shown kindness to him, and that he was terrified that he’d be unable to show any to me, so he wasn’t going to try to. It’s still bad, but I -understand- it. 13-year-old grieving me? No. Dad became the enemy. And in some small way, he’s been so ever since. This reminds me of a conversation I had with my mom when I was 14. We fought a lot when I was that age. I remember I was crying, feeling vastly misunderstood, and asked her a question (I don’t even remember what I asked her or what we were fighting about). Her answer was, “I’m \*\*not \*\*your friend, I’m your **mother**.” In that moment, she certainly ensured I’d never make that mistake again. I don’t intend to throw the line back in her face (“I’m not your friend, I’m your daughter”). That wouldn’t accomplish anything. But I’ve never forgotten it, and it’s shaped our relationship as adults. Whether she even remembers saying it, that phrase is indicative of her uncompromising, highly-controlling parenting. And she’s never once in her life apologized to me or my sister. Not for any of the bullshit she put us through with her horrible taste in men. Trying not to be bitter is an ongoing journey. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-cant-be-unheard/649359.md?page=2)