Things that have been done to death in movies

Cafe Society
61

1- Characters run away from imminent explosion toward the camera, dive to ground right in front of camera just before the flames pass harmlessly over their bodies- all in slow motion

2- Psycho bad guy has incredible intelligence and skill, can break out of prison and find his way to the cop that put him away 20 years ago, all the while picking locks and hot wiring cars.

3- Psycho bad guy can be hit by several bullets and be on the ground motionless. But like John Cameron Swayze’s Timex, he takes a licking and keeps on ticking.

4- Hero gets shot at by a dozen trained assassins, but their shots magically miss or cause flesh wounds.

5- Teenage girl bares her breasts and gets dismembered by psycho killer, virtuous girl has narrow escape.

6- Car chase takes out streetside vegetable stand, also causes pedestrian to fling grocery sack (which MUST contain a loaf of French bread) high in the air.

7- Thoughtful terrorists put LED timers on their bombs which cannot be defused before reading 0:01.

8- Brainy kid hacks his way into secret computer system, guessing the password (which takes up the whole screen) on the first try. The computer must beep and boop at every character displayed.

9- Of course the hooker has a heart of gold.

10- When alone at home with serial killer, lights remain out at all times.

62

Man gets in car, is about to drive off. Someone who has been hiding by lying low in the back now sits upright and announces his presence, maybe also cocking a gun in the process.

It is strictly impossible for anyone to do this. You can not get in your own car and not know there’s someone lying down just behind the driver’s seat. I’m know movies aren’t necessarily about realism, but they aren’t necessarily about stupid cliches either. There are lots of ways for characters to surprise each other - why invoke this ‘sitting up in the back of the car’ crap every time?

Here’s another. Good guy is trying to sneak around someplace unnoticed. He hears some guards coming his way. He skips a few steps back, presses up flat against some wall panel or alcove, and the guards walk by or walk past totally oblivious to his presence. It’s just another instance of lazy thinking, lazy writing and lazy direction. There never have been, and never will be, guards or sentries who are so robotic, regimented and unawares that they could be outwitted so easily - with no peripheral vision, no hearing, and no sense of actually checking for the good guy’s presence (even if they’re ‘on alert’ and everyone is supposedly hunting for the intruder). It makes for pretty dull viewing, too. There is no sense of action without suspense. How can there be suspense about how the good guy might get past the guards if all it takes is a few seconds lying flat against a wall and keeping still? They never covered this in ‘guard’ school? Military training never covers this eventuality?

63

Cars blowing up after an accident. (Ever read about this actually happening in the newspaper?) In particular, the whole “She’s gonna blow!” thing with the running and the diving just in time. Bleh.

Camera pulls back to reveal what you just saw was in the mirror! (Yeah. You fooled us, Mr. Director. So what?)

Two people get locked in an embrace with gun between them. Gun goes off. (We don’t give a ratfuck over who gets shot, Mr. Director, even if we liked the movie up to that point. This was old before color film.)

A cat walks through the living room, and Mr. Sound Editor puts a big, fat meow sound, even though we can clearly see the cat’s mouth is closed. (We didn’t think the cat walked through the set by accident, okay?)

Establishing shot in desert, and Mr. Sound Editor uses that same goddamned hawk cry AGAIN. (I know most people don’t even notice it, but it’s really starting to bug me.)

Goodguy and badguy have a fight. One of them (I’m looking at you, goodguy,) picks the other up off the ground in order to hit him again. (Aren’t you tired? It must be hard to lift him up like that!)

64

Person runs toward the front of the car, jumps up, slides across the hood and falls off the other side and lands on his/her backside.

So overdone anymore.

65

That whole monomyth thing is so passe. I mean, really; it’s like all the stories ever told are really just this one story, told slightly differently over and over and over again.

66

The one that really bugs me is the scene where the hero/single mother/single father going through a rough time has a heart to heart with their 5 year old kid who:
a) Carries on an adult-level conversation;
b) Expound some words of wisdom normally issued from the mouth of someone with actual life experience.

Has anyone in Hollywood ever talked with a five year old?

*What’s wrong, mom?

I’m worried about us. I’m really worried about you. Now that daddy’s gone I …

Melissa threw up in class today.

… thought you’d want to talk about it. I know you must …

She stepped in it and then Eddie started laughing at her, and Elena said some got on her but it didn’t, and Mrs. Prussy said we shouldn’t do that, so we had to sit in the hall while they cleaned it up, and Melissa was crying, and her mom had to come and get her, and we couldn’t watch the movie 'cause it was too late and …

I know you must miss him and I wondered if you wanted to …

Can we get a puppy?

[sub]Aw crap[/sub] G’night hon’

G’night mom.*

67

I’ve had GD conversations almost exactly like that.
Cliché: the anti-hero in a heist/crime movie could pull off the big sting/robbery/deal but his insane/overly talkative/bitchy girlfriend blows the deal out of pure stupidity or spite.

68

People kissing - god, it’s in so many movies. And funny dialogue. Enough already! Why do people keep using this stuff?

69

“Son, I don’t know what you and your sissy scientist/writer/actor friends are doin’, and I don’t give a damn. I raised you to be a coal miner, boy, and you’re goin’ to go down there and do yer family proud. I’m a miner, yer granddaddy was a miner, your great-greatgrandad was a miner, and you’re goin’ be a miner. So SHUT your YAP, y’ HEAR?!”

(Mother takes son aside as father is overcome with coughing.)

“I’m sorry… yer Pa loves you… it’s jest his way, that’s all.”

…

That one was old when Monty Python spoofed it, and it was painful in October Sky.

When you’ve found out that your husband is cheating on you, the most appropriate thing to say, apparently, is “So THAT’S what this is all about!”

Sheriffs are all either evil or doomed to die.

Serial killers are excellent archivists. They keep newspaper clippings, photographs, marked maps…

All movie lasers move slower than light. All movie spaceships are capable of going faster than light. Therefore, laser-overrunning accidents must be very common.

All good guy aliens have to be humanoid. Bad guy aliens have to be humanoid, robotic, or insectoid, with the occasional slug thrown in for good measure. So, if intelligent insects ever land on this planet, they’re in for a nasty surprise as a movie-educated public brings out the Raid.

70

My two cents:

A. The computer hacking scene, where the hero and/or sidekick takes 2 minutes to hack into a super secret heavily encripted computer, and then finds the needed information and reads it off the computer screen as it flashes by at a dizzying pace.

B. The guy and girl who start out by hating each others guts, who then get into a scene where they’re screaming at each other, which scene ends with them throwing themselves into each others’ arms and kissing passionately. Yeah, right.

71

I’m with ya on this. Although I would lean more towards the Gratuitous Explosions as a more pernicious influence. Of course my favorite G.E. was in The Rock where a cable car, of all things, exploded. Go figure.

In a short defense of car chases, The Bourne Identity had a good one. Innocent drivers tended to get out of the way or slow down and the thud of cars colliding was that unmistakeable sound we’ve all heard. And, thank God, NO EXPLOSIONS.

72

Bullet Time!!!

:mad:…ID
____…ID:eek:
/…ID

73

How about the GoodGuy v BadGuy final gunfight, and the two roll together on the ground, each puts the gun to the others temple, pulls the trigger:

click

Both guns, that have fired several million bullets over the last 10 minutes, are empty at exactly the same time.

This then leads to the GoodGuy and BadGuy rolling away from each other, crouching behind something (like a plywood table!) for cover, and insulting his nemesis while desperately trying to reload.

GoodGuy will then be down to just one usable bullet, but there will be a whole pile of unusable ones in his pocket, perhaps for good measure. BadGuy will have a freshly ironed clip of shiny new bullets, not realizing that the bullets in GoodGuy’s gun are magnetic, and will hit, with just one shot (which is all he has left) the chain holding something heavy up above the head of BadGuy.

74

The hero is racking his brain trying to solve some complex riddle or mystery, and then the wife or child or sidekick or whatever makes some statement about something unrelated to the enigma our hero is pondering, and the hero says"what did you just say?"
then the wife says"I said we need a new lawnmower." and he goes “No before that” the wife then repeats the statement before that, and the hero solves the puzzle because of something his wife said. I swear ive seen that scenario played out in like 4 movies,

75

Heres a site about sound effects done to death.

sound cliches

76

Wow after looking at that site I found its part of a larger site called
Movie cliches

77

The “rainman” syndrome. Basically a character who suffers from a mental disability and is otherwise unable to function in society will be able to solve a complex math problem…usually at a critical point in the movie.

78

I hate that freakin’ hawk cry too. What’s wrong wit’ usin’ the cry of a crested titmouse, if I ain’t bein’ too inquisitive?

79

This has actually happened to me, but it’s a little thing called sexual tension that I guess I wouldn’t expect Captain Dweebo of the Nerd Brigade to mentally be able to deal with. asthmatic breathing “Ehh, ehh, people don’t do that”.

80

Large chunks of spinning ice on a collision course with the Earth.