# Things that might make me a pervert **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [October 7, 2008, 6:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-might-make-me-a-pervert/466877 "2008-10-07T18:08:46Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 9\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2008, 4:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-might-make-me-a-pervert/466877/21 "2008-10-08T04:55:37Z")
In many places, my fondness for live lesbian sex shows could be taken as perverted, but it’s quite normal here. I don’t EVEN want to get into what passes for perverted in Thailand. :eek: ---
**Author:** ![3trew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/3/13edae/32.png) [@3trew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/3trew)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2008, 7:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-might-make-me-a-pervert/466877/22 "2008-10-08T07:07:27Z")
> [@](#): > > More than once, I have expressed my desire for an opposite sex clone\*. I thought this would be standard - yes, she would probably look a bit too much like a sister, but she would be willing. She would share my thoughts, my memories, my _desires_… > [@](#): > > .. I reckon everyone else either wont admit it’d be cool or they lack the imagination to concieve it…\*\* > [@](#): > > \*force grown clone, so same biological age as me, has all my memories, etc. I don’t wanna wait 18 years, damnit! “Oh give me a clone Of my own flesh and bone With it’s Y chromosome turned to X…” The problem is, I do have the imagination to conceive it. Sure the sex would be mind blowing, but what about the rest of it? That cute way she laughs, which eventually starts to drive you crazy after a few years, but it doesn’t take a few years because she’s you and it’s you. All of the character faults and bad habits and little quirky tics, anything you tell yourself you need to change in your deepest moments of self evalutation, made manifest in another person? Not even anything new, just the same stuff you’ve been dealing with all the time? Melodramas and cunning headlines would be written of the aftermath. ---
**Author:** ![dba\_Fred](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/c37758/32.png) [@dba\_Fred](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dba_Fred)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2008, 10:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-might-make-me-a-pervert/466877/23 "2008-10-08T10:56:39Z")
**Things that might make me a pervert** : A woman willing to lead me astray and corrupt my morals 😃 ---
**Author:** ![FriarTed](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/friarted/32/1052_2.png) [@FriarTed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FriarTed)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2008, 11:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-might-make-me-a-pervert/466877/24 "2008-10-08T11:59:52Z")
> [@Siam\_Sam](#): > > In many places, my fondness for live lesbian sex shows could be taken as perverted, but it’s quite normal here. > > I don’t EVEN want to get into what passes for perverted in Thailand. :eek: Kinky Kelly and the Sexy Stud? ---
**Author:** ![AllWalker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/db5fbb/32.png) [@AllWalker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AllWalker)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2008, 12:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-might-make-me-a-pervert/466877/25 "2008-10-08T12:10:02Z")
> [@3trew](#): > > The problem is, I do have the imagination to conceive it. Sure the sex would be mind blowing, but what about the rest of it? That cute way she laughs, which eventually starts to drive you crazy after a few years, but it doesn’t take a few years because she’s you and it’s you. All of the character faults and bad habits and little quirky tics, anything you tell yourself you need to change in your deepest moments of self evalutation, made manifest in another person? Not even anything new, just the same stuff you’ve been dealing with all the time? > > Melodramas and cunning headlines would be written of the aftermath. BUT, but but but, I would be willing to point out she-me’s flaws, what was working well, what was fine but growing stale. You know, things you can only do in a VERY secure relationship, but without the hassle of establishing a very secure relationship. And yes, it’s not ideal facing your own personality glitches, but this is purely a physical relationship. A fuck-buddy, of sorts. When you don’t need she-me, you can put her in cryostasis or your wardrobe or something. So addressing your point, there is no “rest of it”, just mind blowing sex. AllWalkerina, I hope I meet you soon. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![nd\_n8](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/439d5e/32.png) [@nd\_n8](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nd_n8)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2008, 1:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-might-make-me-a-pervert/466877/26 "2008-10-08T13:30:53Z")
> [@Mr Bus Guy](#): > > Right-o. > > An 8 year old more perverted than me? Maybe because I’m at the point now where I look at things I’ve done - it seems like there’s less that interests me that I haven’t already tried. > > - All of (both) of the threesomes I’ve been have been with sisters. Though technically the second pair more or less switched off. The first two were from China and hardly spoke a word of english. And gave me the clap. And the second pair was for an entire weekend, so points for that too. > > - Had an ex-teacher of mine the week after graduation. > > - Golf course at night sex. Check. > > - Once took the ‘girl with the reputation’ to the drive in for the weekly gathering/party/orgy _(I always wondered what the guy that had to pick up trash in the morning thought when he saw all those condoms where we all parked there on the far right, just behind the concessions)_ where she performed the admirable, and still probably village record 23 hummers. I was # 3 and #13. Imagine that, I paid her way in, I bought the Boone’s Farm, and I was #3. Life is not fair. > > - Cemetery at night sex. That never felt creepy to us, it was about 100 year old cemetery and just outside the right field fence in our neighborhood ball field. > > - I actually did the cliche jump off the bedroom balcony holding my shirt and shoes while the husband was driving in the driveway. God I loved Susan. > > - Sex with the hot chick from the accounting office on her desk on Saturday when we both had to come in, did not pre-plan the meeting, in fact had hardly ever spoken more than hello before. > > - Spreading out the plastic sheet and do body painting sex. This was also the girl that pulled out the plastic and we did the food sex. Yes, I took the banana. > > - Me blindfolded and not told which of the six women present was going to come in the room and make me her bitch. That was more fun than I figured it would be. I didn’t see any of them on the way in, or on the way out. I was told to come into the apartment, walk straight to the bedroom while all waited in the other room. The room I was in had a basket for my clothes and a blindfold. When I said ok, someone came in, did some nasty things to me, made me do some nasty things to her, etc.. Then she left, I was told when I could go, and walked out the front door. I did it for a college friend on a bet. I was secretly hoping it was her, because Cameron was smoking hot, but mystery lady had bigger breasts. > > I kept the blindfold too. > ETA: Not me, I’d make one ugly woman. Hmm… better make a quick personal inventory: - Nope, never had a threesome with sisters, they’ve been unrelated. Also never had the clap. - Nope, no teachers either. - Yep, wet grass is nastier than I imagined it would be. - 23? Wow. But yeah, nothing like this either. - Yep, to cemetary and golf course also add playground equipment, campground shelter house picnic table and underground parking garage. - Nope, never jumped off of a balcony, but did do the cliche “stuck under the bed while girlfriend and her husband do it and wait until he falls asleep to sneak out.” - Nope, never had sex at work. - Yep, body painting sex, food sex, baby oil wrestling sex etc. And I didn’t take the banana but did once take an ice cube. - Never had mystery girl sex but did have a few good orgys here and there. My personal favorite was the Princess game where a girl gets to be the princess and everybody in the room pleases her in every way imaginable. That always turned out swell. As to the OP, I don’t know about “Solitare” but I do know “Rosie” by Jackson Browne, great song. \*Rosie you’re all right, You wear my ring. When you hold me tight, Rosie you’re my thing. When I turn out the light, I’ve got to hand it to me. Looks like it’s me and you again tonight, Rosie.\* ---
**Author:** ![Man\_With\_a\_Cat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/cab0a1/32.png) [@Man\_With\_a\_Cat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Man_With_a_Cat)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2008, 1:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-might-make-me-a-pervert/466877/27 "2008-10-08T13:53:36Z")
> [@Mojo\_Pin](#): > > :eek: > (btw I listened to Solitaire on Youtube…is Neil Sedaka a woman?) Neil Sedaka wrote the song, the Carpenters covered it as well as a bunch of other women. Um, but yeah he can sound like a woman. My personal favorite cover of the song in Sheryl Crow’s. ---
**Author:** ![Silver\_Tyger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/fbc32d/32.png) [@Silver\_Tyger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silver_Tyger)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2008, 4:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-might-make-me-a-pervert/466877/28 "2008-10-08T16:30:17Z")
I refuse to say all the perverted things I think about, just so I don’t ruin everyone’s opinion of me. Slash fiction is the least of it. I did grab my Guild Master’s ass last Pirate Faire. He’s old enough to be my dad and I think I was probably the last person in the guild (yes, including the men) to do so. Well, the Fletchers I don’t think have, but they’re not as perverted as the rest of us. Surprised the hell out of him. ---
**Author:** ![Sublight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/439d5e/32.png) [@Sublight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sublight)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2008, 1:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-might-make-me-a-pervert/466877/29 "2008-10-09T01:53:22Z")
It’s probably perverted of me to think up sexualized interpretations of the songs in my son’s Sesame Street videos, but when Queen Latifah is singing about helping another character “find their O” with lines like “just sit back, relax, and it’ll come on home / like a little lost doggie when he misses his bone,” can you really blame me? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-might-make-me-a-pervert/466877.md?page=1)