# Things that Prince Charles hasn't done...NO serious discussion, please! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [November 11, 2003, 2:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-prince-charles-hasnt-done-no-serious-discussion-please/212610 "2003-11-11T14:17:17Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![cygnus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e0b2c6/32.png) [@cygnus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cygnus)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2003, 2:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-prince-charles-hasnt-done-no-serious-discussion-please/212610/1 "2003-11-11T14:17:17Z")
That other thread started off with great potential, but it quickly disintegrated into a logical discussion of actual facts, rumors, and theories both legal and political. With all due respect, there’s a time and place for such mature behavior…but this isn’t it. This post from that thread was in the spirit I WANTED to see the discussion go for: > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by NoClueBoy \* > \*\*Been on the Moon > > Written a canonical Bible book > > Conceived a child in an artificial womb carried in a paper sack > > Invented the internet > > Guest host for David Letterman > > Won the CMA Artist of the Year award twice > > Been in **ChuckForbin** ’s (or Cliffy’s) kitchen. \*\* I add the following: Moshed at an Iggy Pop show. Smoked with Willie Nelson. Cleaned limp and browning vegetables out of the royal fridge. Travelled faster than the speed of light. Worried about the aerator on his septic tank. Waited in line to buy a fifty pound bag of dog food. Levitated while touching elbows with Michael Palin. Run out of gas at the side of the road, hitchhiked to a filling station, and been compelled to leave a ten dollar deposit for the gas can. Anyone else? ---
**Author:** ![flodnak](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/838e76/32.png) [@flodnak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flodnak)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2003, 2:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-prince-charles-hasnt-done-no-serious-discussion-please/212610/2 "2003-11-11T14:30:05Z")
Sent me an e-mail. Appeared on “Changing Rooms”. Applied for unemployment benefits. Skinny-dipped in the Thames. Ski-jumped. Owned a ferret. Undergone chemotherapy. ---
**Author:** ![World\_Eater](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f04885/32.png) [@World\_Eater](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/World_Eater)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2003, 2:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-prince-charles-hasnt-done-no-serious-discussion-please/212610/3 "2003-11-11T14:32:48Z")
Smoked crack from the Royal pipe. Streaked across Buckingham palace. Been to a Knicks game. Protested with Greenpeace Used a spork. Done the Arsenio “Woof woof woof” Lit one of his farts on fire. Drank a 40 of Olde English. Wrestled a bear. And of course something _nobody_ has ever done… Tap danced in a clown suite while speaking on two cell phones (one in each hand) while they were pelted with mozzarella balls and shoe horns. ---
**Author:** ![Ponder\_Stibbons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ponder_stibbons/32/343_2.png) [@Ponder\_Stibbons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ponder_Stibbons)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2003, 2:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-prince-charles-hasnt-done-no-serious-discussion-please/212610/4 "2003-11-11T14:40:20Z")
I dont’ know, **World Eater** , some of those he could conceivably have done. “Smoked crack from the Royal pipe” comes to mind. Of course, some are obvious, like “Lit one of his farts on fire.” Well, of course not. That’s what butlers are for. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Hamadryad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/6de8d8/32.png) [@Hamadryad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hamadryad)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2003, 2:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-prince-charles-hasnt-done-no-serious-discussion-please/212610/5 "2003-11-11T14:44:00Z")
OFFICIAL PRESS RELEASE 11 November, 2003 Buckingham Palace Representatives of the Royal Family met with press today to deny the rumors that Prince Charles has been involved in any fishy activity. “The Prince has not been involved in ANYTHING fishy,” they are quoted as saying. “The rumors of his bath in a giant cauldron of smelt are completely without merit. He has likewise not begun a new life as a modern artist working in the medium of freeze-dried, shellacked tuna, nor has he put forward a proposal to replace the Union Jack with a crown and a porpoise _rampant_ on a field of daylilies.” The spokesmen went on to deny rumors of the Crown Prince’s involvement in the “mudfish incident” with the rock band Led Zeppelin in the early 1970s. “Prince Charles has been involved in nothing more fish-related than kippers for breakfast,” they concluded. Officials at the Thames River Authority were unavailable for comment. ---
**Author:** ![World\_Eater](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f04885/32.png) [@World\_Eater](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/World_Eater)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2003, 2:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-prince-charles-hasnt-done-no-serious-discussion-please/212610/6 "2003-11-11T14:46:21Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Ponder Stibbons \* > \*\*I dont’ know, **World Eater** , some of those he could conceivably have done. “Smoked crack from the Royal pipe” comes to mind. Of course, some are obvious, like “Lit one of his farts on fire.” Well, of course not. That’s what butlers are for. 😉 \*\* 😛 And that was a clown _suit_. ---
**Author:** ![AskNott](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asknott/32/5790_2.png) [@AskNott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AskNott)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2003, 10:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-prince-charles-hasnt-done-no-serious-discussion-please/212610/7 "2003-11-11T22:22:36Z")
Never appeared on “Hollywood Squares.” ---
**Author:** ![TheLoadedDog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/35a633/32.png) [@TheLoadedDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TheLoadedDog)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2003, 10:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-prince-charles-hasnt-done-no-serious-discussion-please/212610/8 "2003-11-11T22:38:22Z")
Never announced his SDMB user name. ---
**Author:** ![BellaDellaItalia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/fbc32d/32.png) [@BellaDellaItalia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BellaDellaItalia)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2003, 10:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-prince-charles-hasnt-done-no-serious-discussion-please/212610/9 "2003-11-11T22:41:58Z")
Two words: pink mohawk. Square danced with an armadillo. Hurled melons at senior citizens. Been to a Chittenango High Football game. ---
**Author:** ![Scuba\_Ben](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/278dde/32.png) [@Scuba\_Ben](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scuba_Ben)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2003, 10:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-prince-charles-hasnt-done-no-serious-discussion-please/212610/10 "2003-11-11T22:45:13Z")
**TheLoadedDog** partially beat me to it. But only partially: Never opened an “Ask the Crown Prince!” thread. ---
**Author:** ![SJSB](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/848f3c/32.png) [@SJSB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SJSB)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2003, 10:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-prince-charles-hasnt-done-no-serious-discussion-please/212610/11 "2003-11-11T22:50:17Z")
Fucked his valet… oops, hang on… ---
**Author:** ![ultrafilter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/3d9bf3/32.png) [@ultrafilter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ultrafilter)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2003, 11:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-prince-charles-hasnt-done-no-serious-discussion-please/212610/12 "2003-11-11T23:04:09Z")
He’s never risen from the grave to slap a second chair flautist. ---
**Author:** ![Ponder\_Stibbons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ponder_stibbons/32/343_2.png) [@Ponder\_Stibbons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ponder_Stibbons)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2003, 12:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-prince-charles-hasnt-done-no-serious-discussion-please/212610/13 "2003-11-12T00:07:27Z")
Much to his consternation, he’s never been King of England. \ Hey, if those allegations were to be proven true and then his mum dies, would he become Queen of England? \ ---
**Author:** ![c\_carol](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e79b87/32.png) [@c\_carol](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/c_carol)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2003, 1:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-prince-charles-hasnt-done-no-serious-discussion-please/212610/14 "2003-11-12T01:18:28Z")
[Silly Songs] He’s never plucked a rooster and he’s not too good at ping-pong, and he’s never thrown his mashed potatoes up against the wall, and he’s never kissed a chipmunk and he’s never gotten head lice, and he’s never been to Boston in the fall [/Silly Songs] ( [http://www.elyrics.net/go/v/Veggie\_Tales/The\_Pirates\_Who\_Don’t\_Do\_Anything/](http://www.elyrics.net/go/v/Veggie_Tales/The_Pirates_Who_Don't_Do_Anything/) ) ---
**Author:** ![Petrichor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/e19adc/32.png) [@Petrichor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Petrichor)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2003, 1:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-prince-charles-hasnt-done-no-serious-discussion-please/212610/15 "2003-11-12T01:51:50Z")
Cleaned my house. Danced with the Devil in the pale moon light. Won an Oscar for Best Supporting Actress. Created a 1/50th scale model of Buckingham Palace out of instant mashed potatoes. ---
**Author:** ![Gadfly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/aeb1de/32.png) [@Gadfly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gadfly)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2003, 2:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-prince-charles-hasnt-done-no-serious-discussion-please/212610/16 "2003-11-12T02:13:42Z")
He never wrote the album OK Computer. He never had goat waffles in Azerbaijan. He never sung the Sex Pistols’ “God Save The Queen.” ---
**Author:** ![Governor\_Quinn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/d26b3c/32.png) [@Governor\_Quinn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Governor_Quinn)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2003, 2:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-prince-charles-hasnt-done-no-serious-discussion-please/212610/17 "2003-11-12T02:53:19Z")
He’s never: Been indicted for yelling obscene comments at nuns. Built a submarine using toothpicks. Solved the Middle-East peace problem. Performed the “Minuit in G” Produced a film version of “The Beautiful and the Damned” Played polo on the back of Abe Hirschfeld (the developer, not the cartoonist) Lost at royal tennis Worked as a lumberjack Had his ashes fired into space Tried to steal the “Mona Lisa” ---
**Author:** ![BIH\_Boy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/49beb7/32.png) [@BIH\_Boy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BIH_Boy)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2003, 3:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-prince-charles-hasnt-done-no-serious-discussion-please/212610/18 "2003-11-12T03:14:04Z")
He never: Ate his way through 50 boiled eggs in one sitting Lost his left testicle in a chip pan fire accident Caught a rabbit and he ain’t no friend of mine Blacked up with burnt cork and played banjo on Comic Relief ---
**Author:** ![Diceman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Diceman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diceman)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2003, 3:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-prince-charles-hasnt-done-no-serious-discussion-please/212610/19 "2003-11-12T03:31:18Z")
He’s never returned my copy of _Triumph of the Straight Dope_, dammit! :mad: Oh, wait. That’s because he never borrowed it. ---
**Author:** ![EddyTeddyFreddy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eddyteddyfreddy/32/18796_2.png) [@EddyTeddyFreddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EddyTeddyFreddy)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2003, 5:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-prince-charles-hasnt-done-no-serious-discussion-please/212610/20 "2003-11-12T05:17:19Z")
He’s never: Loaded 16 tons, and what did he get? Another day older and deeper in debt Mourned the collapse of the Old Man of the Mountain Tapped a sugar maple Worn mismatched socks with holes in the toes Held the light for a vet who’s gelding a colt (yes, I did – had a great view of the operation) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-prince-charles-hasnt-done-no-serious-discussion-please/212610.md?page=2)