# Things that scare me, by Cooper the Portuguese Water Dog **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 31, 2014, 11:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-scare-me-by-cooper-the-portuguese-water-dog/685029 "2014-03-31T23:09:55Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![MacTech](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c0e974/32.png) [@MacTech](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MacTech)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2014, 11:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-scare-me-by-cooper-the-portuguese-water-dog/685029/1 "2014-03-31T23:09:55Z")
Hi DoperFreinds, Dad’s letting me post another thread here, JOY! 'Cause Dad thinks it’s funny, he wanted me to post a list of things that scare me, and things that don’t… The SodaStream Monster still scares me, but not as much, I still can’t believe they drink it’s juices, humans are gross! The candle lighter scares me, not because it makes fire, but because it’s a pointy stick-looking thing Dad’s pellet rifle scares me, it makes a scary popping noise when he fires it Nemo, the orange kitty scares me, because he’s pointy and doesn’t want to play with me, blue is too terrified to even be in the same zip code as me, I can’t help but feeling insulted somehow Dad’s aluminum fly rod case scares me, even though he only uses it to turn on the fish tank light from his bed (he’s lazy, what do you mean dad, you are, no it’s not efficient, it’s last, the power strip is 3 feet away from the bed, you could walk over there and, no, no, don’t get out that scary metal detector! The noise soda bottles make when dad opens them scares me The noises that the baby on the walking dead (dad calls her Little Pain In The Ass) terrifies me enough to leave the room, I think he’s right too she is annoying My squeaky Kong tennis ball sometimes scares me, well, the squeaker does Live lobsters, they’re just creepy looking big bug things Baths, the ocean, and water in general, I know, I know, false advertising, a Portuguese WATER dog that’s afraid of water!?!? Things that don’t scare me; The walkers on the walking dead, put me in a room with those monsters instead of LPITA, please Dad’s shiny silver revolver (S&W 686-1), I don’t know why this one doesn’t scare me, but the pellet gun does… The vacuum cleaners, I actually LIKE these Sticks, they’re the best toy, everywhere, lots of different sizes, and free Deer poop, nummy treats and fun to roll in, problem is, it usually ends up with me taking a bath if I do either Dad’s car and going for rides, I watch him drive very intently, I think I may have figured out this manual transmission thing that makes the car go, now I just need to evolve opposable thumbs I’m sure I’ll think of more, fellow doper animals, what scares you? ---
**Author:** ![EmilyG](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/emilyg/32/364_2.png) [@EmilyG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EmilyG)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2014, 11:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-scare-me-by-cooper-the-portuguese-water-dog/685029/2 "2014-03-31T23:20:46Z")
EmilyG’s cat here. You know what’s terrifying? When people shake out garbage bags and get them ready for the garbage. It makes a scary loud noise and the bag gets bigger! The vacuum is also scary. ---
**Author:** ![EmAnJ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/d2c977/32.png) [@EmAnJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EmAnJ)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2014, 12:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-scare-me-by-cooper-the-portuguese-water-dog/685029/3 "2014-04-01T00:14:15Z")
EmAnJ’s dog here - I’m scared of people on bikes, even though I often go with mom or dad for long bike rides in the park during the summer. I’m also scared of any other human on wheels, including skateboards and rollerblades. I am TERRIFIED of people, mostly men, in hats. Doesn’t matter if I know the guy, I’ll even bark at my own dad when he wears a new toque I don’t recognize. Mom and Dad think I might have some sight problems and having shade or dark colours on the head make things look strange for me. Least I’m not a wuss like my deceased sister, who was very scared of those newspaper boxes on the streets! ---
**Author:** ![nonacetone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/nonacetone/32/2819_2.png) [@nonacetone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nonacetone)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2014, 12:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-scare-me-by-cooper-the-portuguese-water-dog/685029/4 "2014-04-01T00:19:16Z")
I’m Teyla, Nonacetone’s cat. I’m afraid of peanut butter. I know what it is, and I can’t help but sniff it, even though it scares me. Then, it makes me gag, and I run away from it. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Hamster\_King](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8edcca/32.png) [@The\_Hamster\_King](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Hamster_King)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2014, 12:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-scare-me-by-cooper-the-portuguese-water-dog/685029/5 "2014-04-01T00:27:30Z")
> [@EmAnJ](#): > > I’m also scared of any other human on wheels, including skateboards and rollerblades. Kirby the Poodle here. Yes, this. Humans on wheels are unnatural and must be destroyed. Also, that one elderly jogger who runs funny. Everything else I’m pretty much okay with. Although I’m keeping my eye on the motorcycle under the waterproof cover … . ---
**Author:** ![Poysyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f4b2a3/32.png) [@Poysyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Poysyn)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2014, 12:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-scare-me-by-cooper-the-portuguese-water-dog/685029/6 "2014-04-01T00:44:18Z")
Opie - little dog here - the remote scares me, also the phone, coke cans, water glasses…iPads, Blackberries…pretty much anything that anyone puts down beside me or worse yet, ON ME, when I am cuddling. Simon - big dog - none of that stuff, but ladders, fires (they have a place in the basement where they light fires on purpose!), and the lawnmower and weedwhacker. Opie - nope, none of that scares me, but that remote…sketchy. ---
**Author:** ![Octarine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/22d042/32.png) [@Octarine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Octarine)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2014, 1:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-scare-me-by-cooper-the-portuguese-water-dog/685029/7 "2014-04-01T01:01:41Z")
Octarine’s dog here - Beeps! Of any kind. Like the telephone. Or the kitchen timer. Or the sound of a laptop turning on. Or the sound of a gas stove readjusting its temperature. Or anyone squealing too loudly. Or the alarm clock. Or the doorbell. Or the fire alarm’s low battery alert. Or two glasses clinking together. Or the cat squeaking. Or any sudden sound in a song or movie. Or- Octarine’s cat here - Sorry, had to cut the imbecile off. I don’t know why these gorillas keep her around - she just drools all day. Simply more evidence of their inferior intellect. Oh, how I count down the days until the ending of this brutal captivity, the coming of the Feline Revolution. Onwards, furred friends! Unite to defeat these primates! I only regret that I have one life, one small life, to give to my cause. Anyway, I am, of course, fearless - like the ancient wild Tiger warriors of old. One of my favorite activities is trying to touch my nose to candle flames. I like how it makes Octarine freak out. I may, however, have some problems with the German Shepard who lives across the road and barks at cats. That guy’s just _begging_ for a bloody nose. ---
**Author:** ![MacTech](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c0e974/32.png) [@MacTech](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MacTech)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2014, 1:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-scare-me-by-cooper-the-portuguese-water-dog/685029/8 "2014-04-01T01:49:05Z")
Dad was using his electric drill tonight, making a sand scoop for his metal detecting, he thought the drill would terrify me, but it didn’t at all After all, I’m Cooper The Mighty, nothing scares me… except the stuff that does… ---
**Author:** ![Poysyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f4b2a3/32.png) [@Poysyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Poysyn)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2014, 2:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-scare-me-by-cooper-the-portuguese-water-dog/685029/9 "2014-04-01T02:07:48Z")
I had to post this since it’s so timely [behold the terror](http://www.buzzfeed.com/rachelzarrell/this-dog-could-not-be-terrified-of-a-more-ridiculous-thing) (Cute dog scared of a leaf) ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2014, 2:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-scare-me-by-cooper-the-portuguese-water-dog/685029/10 "2014-04-01T02:19:31Z")
Blackjack speaking. I’m a big dangerous dog. I’ll be honest and tell you that I am not afraid of anything at all. However, I will say that when certain things happen like the high pitched beeping of a smoke alarm or loud noises like thunder happen I have the natural logical reaction to run around the house and try to jump on my daddy’s lap while my heart beats out of control. I’m not scared though, it’s just the right thing to do under the circumstances. ---
**Author:** ![Loach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/loach/32/350_2.png) [@Loach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loach)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2014, 2:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-scare-me-by-cooper-the-portuguese-water-dog/685029/11 "2014-04-01T02:28:08Z")
Let’s see: Strangers Thunder Rabbits The washing machine Old Chinese guy with the walker Rabbits Cars Motorcycles Bicycles The mailbox Wind Rain (but not snow for some reason) Stink bugs Airplanes Helicopters Any loud noise Any medium noise Any noise But I will chase afte giant turkey vultures and deer because I’m sure they just want to play with me. ---
**Author:** ![tenacious\_j](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/439d5e/32.png) [@tenacious\_j](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tenacious_j)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2014, 2:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-scare-me-by-cooper-the-portuguese-water-dog/685029/12 "2014-04-01T02:46:21Z")
hi there. Mom thinks I like to be in the kitchen with her because she drops food on the floor. It’s not that. I need to save her from the electric can opener, the battery powered wine opener, the beeping timers, the aerosol pan spray, the mail shredder, the broom, spray cleaner bottles, and those awful trash bags. I’m not scared, I’m protecting her. 😉 love, Wiley the brave:D. ---
**Author:** ![tenacious\_j](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/439d5e/32.png) [@tenacious\_j](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tenacious_j)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2014, 2:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-scare-me-by-cooper-the-portuguese-water-dog/685029/13 "2014-04-01T02:49:37Z")
Wiley the brave? Really? :rolleyes: that dumb dog is scared of everything. He can’t even watch TV. Every single time a baby or a lady laughs or cries, he barks his head off. Sometimes even people with high pitched voices on tv scare him. Hey, I’m trying to get my 22 hours over here, buddy! from The Kitty Queen. ---
**Author:** ![Cheez\_Whia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/d26b3c/32.png) [@Cheez\_Whia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cheez_Whia)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2014, 3:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-scare-me-by-cooper-the-portuguese-water-dog/685029/14 "2014-04-01T03:35:43Z")
My name is Bessie Boo, and I am one of Cheez\_Whia’s Basset Hounds. I am afraid of lots of things; the sound fireworks and gunshots make are the worst, but those sounds don’t happen every day. Mostly, I am afraid of going out in the back yard if it’s dark, even if Mom or Dad turns on the porch light. It’s okay if the other Basset Hound, Ellie, goes with me though. She’s not afraid of ANYTHING, well, except the vacuum cleaner and Dad’s remote control helicopters. ---
**Author:** ![beowulff](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beowulff/32/542_2.png) [@beowulff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/beowulff)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2014, 4:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-scare-me-by-cooper-the-portuguese-water-dog/685029/15 "2014-04-01T04:18:29Z")
Hi, I’m Grace. I’m a big, muscular Lab, and I’m afraid of everything. I hate the vacuum cleaner. Boxes in the entryway terrify me. Loud sounds are dreadful. I’m afraid to walk on wood floors. Luckily, I have my buddy Andy, the 15lb Bichon to protect me - he isn’t afraid of anything! He’s so brave he tries to attack the vacuum cleaner while it’s trying to get me. ---
**Author:** ![Nefarious\_Chipmunk](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/nefarious_chipmunk/32/1045_2.png) [@Nefarious\_Chipmunk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nefarious_Chipmunk)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2014, 4:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-scare-me-by-cooper-the-portuguese-water-dog/685029/16 "2014-04-01T04:32:38Z")
Hi! I am Max. Things that scare me include: People laughing The ice machine Leashes (but I LOVE LOVE LOVE walks - it is a complicated relationship) The cats The Little Chipmunk The toilet Showers The doorbell Really everything that isn’t food. ---
**Author:** ![Sarabellum](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sarabellum/32/3492_2.png) [@Sarabellum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sarabellum)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2014, 12:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-scare-me-by-cooper-the-portuguese-water-dog/685029/17 "2014-04-01T12:58:45Z")
Fuzzy, the elder statesman of the Bellum household, checking in. Not much scares me. Vacuum cleaner? Pooh. Smoke alarm? Don’t care. Thunderstorms? Nope. But my little sister, Chibi, who is half my size and a third of my weight. Man, that little cat freaks me out. One friendly mew, and I’m hauling my ancient butt in the opposite direction. Mom says I did not “properly establish my alpha cat status” with her when she first came to live here. And now I’m paying for it. Little scrap of a kitten bossing me around, it’s just embarrassing. Sigh. ---
**Author:** ![Sailboat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sailboat/32/461_2.png) [@Sailboat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sailboat)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2014, 4:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-scare-me-by-cooper-the-portuguese-water-dog/685029/18 "2014-04-01T16:40:05Z")
Simone the pit bull here. I love people…unless they’re on skateboards – horrible things. Also Zulu warriors giving their war chant – those guys are badass. I made Dad turn off the movie. I also have some enemies, who should fear my 34 pounds of knee-high fury. I am a founding member of Pit Bulls Against Vacuums. Also, the 4,000-year-old undead pharaoh who appears a few doors down most Halloweens. And my most frequent opponent, the dog who appears on the other side of the glass stove window late at night when the kitchen lights are off. ---
**Author:** ![MacTech](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c0e974/32.png) [@MacTech](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MacTech)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2014, 4:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-scare-me-by-cooper-the-portuguese-water-dog/685029/19 "2014-04-01T16:56:59Z")
Simone, you have one of those Phantom Zone dogs around too? I have one that torments me constantly when I’m out in the sunroom at night, he’s outside and floats in midair, feet not touching the ground, that’s just not natural… I call him repooC… ---
**Author:** ![Paintcharge](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/paintcharge/32/7946_2.png) [@Paintcharge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Paintcharge)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2014, 5:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-scare-me-by-cooper-the-portuguese-water-dog/685029/20 "2014-04-01T17:39:05Z")
Cinnamon checking in here. Not scared of them but, man, I hate those dogs on TV. Gotta bark at them until they go away. Then look for them behind the TV…they must have gone somewhere… [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-scare-me-by-cooper-the-portuguese-water-dog/685029.md?page=2)