# Things that were never said before the invention of video" games (possible SPOILERS) **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [December 26, 2003, 12:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-were-never-said-before-the-invention-of-video-games-possible-spoilers/221070 "2003-12-26T00:08:09Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Hamish](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a5b964/32.png) [@Hamish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hamish)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2003, 12:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-were-never-said-before-the-invention-of-video-games-possible-spoilers/221070/1 "2003-12-26T00:08:09Z")
Over the years of my life I have wasted on these things, it’s come to my attention that there are certain things that could never have been said by any sane, sober person before the invention of the video game. I don’t mean sentences with words unique to the game (“I have to get to the Tower of Gflozd in the City of Fnortly”), or referring to technical aspects (“save game,” “joystick,” “console”). I’m talking about phrases whose individual parts would make sense to the unitiated, but would make the speaker sound delirious. Examples: **Diablo II** [ul][li]“Stop resurrecting people!”[/li][li]“That cheapskate angel is charging a fortune to bring my mercenary back to life!”[/li][li]“Pretty soon, I’ll be able to summon a valkyrie.”[/li][li]“Well, I brought back the sun.”[/li][li]“I just have to retrieve my corpse, and then I think I’m done for the day.”[/ul][/li] **Various Final Fantasies** [ul][li]“Her dog sometimes brings her back to life. Also, she can shoot him like a cannonball from that thing on her arm.”[/li][li]“Well, it picks the bad guy up, throws him into a whole galaxy going simultaneously supernova, and then when he falls back down, he’s usually badly hurt.”[/li][li]“It shouldn’t be a problem if you keep summoning Hades _and_ the Knights of the Round Table.”[/li][li]“Well, right now she’s inside her best friend’s brain, trying to help him with his problems.”[/li][li]“I just have to bring this rat’s tail back to the dragon, and then I can grow up!”[/ul][/li] **Planescape: Torment** [ul][li]“I wonder if I’m wise enough to unmake my mortality?”[/ul][/li] **Any Game** [ul]“I died again.”[/ul] ---
**Author:** ![Wearia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/13edae/32.png) [@Wearia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wearia)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2003, 12:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-were-never-said-before-the-invention-of-video-games-possible-spoilers/221070/2 "2003-12-26T00:13:22Z")
Various FPS’s “Hey look! There goes my arm! Sweet!” “What do I press to be invincible?” “Geez I fell down the crater again!” “Watch me break this guys neck…Ooo snap!” ---
**Author:** ![Murcielago](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/da6949/32.png) [@Murcielago](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Murcielago)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2003, 12:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-were-never-said-before-the-invention-of-video-games-possible-spoilers/221070/3 "2003-12-26T00:45:37Z")
Playing **Duke Nukem 3D** : “Don’t shoot!..Wait 'til I shrink this guy then go stomp on him!” I read somewhere that they are making a sequel to that game, not sure what happened. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2003, 12:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-were-never-said-before-the-invention-of-video-games-possible-spoilers/221070/4 "2003-12-26T00:55:47Z")
Game over, man! Game over! ---
**Author:** ![emekthian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ecae2f/32.png) [@emekthian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/emekthian)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2003, 2:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-were-never-said-before-the-invention-of-video-games-possible-spoilers/221070/5 "2003-12-26T02:04:10Z")
Anything along the lines of “I got another life” or “x number of lives”. Mario: “Get the red/blue/yellow coins” Kirby: “suck in the enemies” ---
**Author:** ![Lumpy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lumpy/32/446_2.png) [@Lumpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lumpy)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2003, 2:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-were-never-said-before-the-invention-of-video-games-possible-spoilers/221070/6 "2003-12-26T02:10:09Z")
“This guy shot me in the head, but fortunately there was a first-aid kit nearbye”. “I discovered you can slip through the wall into null space at this one spot.” ---
**Author:** ![A\_wizard\_song\_for\_thee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/46a35a/32.png) [@A\_wizard\_song\_for\_thee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/A_wizard_song_for_thee)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2003, 2:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-were-never-said-before-the-invention-of-video-games-possible-spoilers/221070/7 "2003-12-26T02:46:08Z")
Well, the most obvious, to me, is “god mode.” ---
**Author:** ![teemingONE](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b4bc9f/32.png) [@teemingONE](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/teemingONE)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2003, 3:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-were-never-said-before-the-invention-of-video-games-possible-spoilers/221070/8 "2003-12-26T03:24:35Z")
I banged the hooker and got more health! ---
**Author:** ![Cazzle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cazzle/32/75_2.png) [@Cazzle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cazzle)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2003, 3:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-were-never-said-before-the-invention-of-video-games-possible-spoilers/221070/9 "2003-12-26T03:32:25Z")
I’m ashamed of you all. In three and a half hours, no one has said “All you base are belong to us”? You’re slipping. ---
**Author:** ![bluddy\_bloodnut](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/858c86/32.png) [@bluddy\_bloodnut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bluddy_bloodnut)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2003, 3:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-were-never-said-before-the-invention-of-video-games-possible-spoilers/221070/10 "2003-12-26T03:50:08Z")
kekekekekkekekekeke zerg rush kekekekekekeke ---
**Author:** ![eli\_the\_fanatic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ccd318/32.png) [@eli\_the\_fanatic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eli_the_fanatic)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2003, 4:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-were-never-said-before-the-invention-of-video-games-possible-spoilers/221070/11 "2003-12-26T04:02:09Z")
Jump repeatedly on the turtle on the steps at the end of level 3 and you can get a bunch of lives. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2003, 4:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-were-never-said-before-the-invention-of-video-games-possible-spoilers/221070/12 "2003-12-26T04:21:07Z")
“I’ll be right there, as soon as I get to a save point!” Usually in reply to mom asking you to put down that damn video game-dinner’s ready! ---
**Author:** ![teemingONE](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b4bc9f/32.png) [@teemingONE](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/teemingONE)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2003, 4:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-were-never-said-before-the-invention-of-video-games-possible-spoilers/221070/13 "2003-12-26T04:48:52Z")
You brought back so many memories **Guinastasia**. ---
**Author:** ![BytopianDream](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/9de0a6/32.png) [@BytopianDream](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BytopianDream)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2003, 5:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-were-never-said-before-the-invention-of-video-games-possible-spoilers/221070/14 "2003-12-26T05:05:40Z")
“So I summoned two demons, two giant rocks, dropped a fireball on it, hit it with a blade barrier AND had the guy with the Giant Miniature Space Hamster smash it with a Hammer of Odin… still had to reload.” “Well, I crushed the Japanese easy. The Russians put up a little fight, so I freaking nuked them. The Zulus decided to backstab me, so I blew them up with my hover tanks. The whole time, I had my army of lawyers keep the damn French busy.” “No, put 5 perfect emeralds in the bow, then two perfect skulls. Dude, you can kill anything with THAT ten times fast. And you suck their life and mana right out!” “No really, throw the dagger at the dragon. It works. Then you get the mirror and the kingdom.” “No seriously, I killed the dragon with my bare hands!” “Yeah, the dog split into three heads. The middle one is the one to worry about. Make sure you have that machine gun. Man, just spray the whole clip.” “Dude, I jumped like 500 feet in the air, did a 740 Back Spin Experimental Air to a Iffy Stiffy Backflip and then landed on the rail and grinded that thing for like a mile.” ---
**Author:** ![DarkJudicator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/da6949/32.png) [@DarkJudicator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DarkJudicator)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2003, 5:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-were-never-said-before-the-invention-of-video-games-possible-spoilers/221070/15 "2003-12-26T05:26:43Z")
OMFG AIMBOT~! I know this cool cheat that makes Lara naked! WHY ARE VIDEO CARDS SO #@&%^%#\*#^#%@& EXPENSIVE?! ---
**Author:** ![Cisco](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ccd318/32.png) [@Cisco](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cisco)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2003, 5:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-were-never-said-before-the-invention-of-video-games-possible-spoilers/221070/16 "2003-12-26T05:51:17Z")
Actual conversation someone reported to have had on a cell phone in line at Wal-Mart regarding Everquest: “Want to go kill dwarves tonight?” … “Sounds good to me, let me finish up here and I’ll be right there.” He surely got a strange look or two for that one. ---
**Author:** ![DreadCthulhu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/db5fbb/32.png) [@DreadCthulhu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DreadCthulhu)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2003, 8:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-were-never-said-before-the-invention-of-video-games-possible-spoilers/221070/17 "2003-12-26T08:20:27Z")
“Great, Gandhi is launching nukes at me again. Damn bloodthirsty tyrant.” ---
**Author:** ![Avalonian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ee7513/32.png) [@Avalonian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Avalonian)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2003, 3:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-were-never-said-before-the-invention-of-video-games-possible-spoilers/221070/18 "2003-12-26T15:42:58Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by teemingONE \* > \*\*You brought back so many memories **Guinastasia**. \*\* Yeah, like yesterday. (My daughters received a Gamecube for Christmas, and guess who helped them play “The Two Towers”? Yep, that’s me. _grin_) ---
**Author:** ![Avalonian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ee7513/32.png) [@Avalonian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Avalonian)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2003, 3:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-were-never-said-before-the-invention-of-video-games-possible-spoilers/221070/19 "2003-12-26T15:42:58Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by teemingONE \* > \*\*You brought back so many memories **Guinastasia**. \*\* Yeah, like yesterday. (My daughters received a Gamecube for Christmas, and guess who helped them play “The Two Towers”? Yep, that’s me. _grin_) ---
**Author:** ![Spoke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a88e57/32.png) [@Spoke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoke)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2003, 4:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-were-never-said-before-the-invention-of-video-games-possible-spoilers/221070/20 "2003-12-26T16:31:24Z")
It’s OK; I have three lives left. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-were-never-said-before-the-invention-of-video-games-possible-spoilers/221070.md?page=2)