# Things that you can't fathom people not understanding **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [June 7, 2013, 5:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-you-cant-fathom-people-not-understanding/660360 "2013-06-07T05:50:28Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Thudlow\_Boink](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thudlow_boink/32/320_2.png) [@Thudlow\_Boink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thudlow_Boink)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2013, 4:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-you-cant-fathom-people-not-understanding/660360/41 "2013-06-07T16:19:16Z")
> [@Jragon](#): > > To me in programming there are a number of things that are just so basic that I can’t get into the head of somebody who doesn’t “get” them. I know what you mean. Thinking like a programmer has always come naturally enough to me, that I don’t know how to (or even whether it’s possible to) turn someone who doesn’t think that way into someone who does. Apparently this has been a problem ever since the earliest days of computers: computer science pioneer Charles Babbage wrote in 1864: > [@](#): > > On two occasions I have been asked, — “Pray, Mr. Babbage, if you put into the machine wrong figures, will the right answers come out?” In one case a member of the Upper, and in the other a member of the Lower, House put this question. I am not able rightly to apprehend the kind of confusion of ideas that could provoke such a question. ---
**Author:** ![Thudlow\_Boink](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thudlow_boink/32/320_2.png) [@Thudlow\_Boink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thudlow_Boink)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2013, 4:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-you-cant-fathom-people-not-understanding/660360/42 "2013-06-07T16:23:00Z")
> [@Engineer\_Dude](#): > > But if you don’t, you should put the data side up, not down. That way, if you end up dragging it a little when you pick it up, you’ll only scratch the label and not the data. I question this advice. [The label side _is_ the data side](http://electronics.howstuffworks.com/cd1.htm), and I’ve been told that a scratch (as opposed to a mark or smudge) on the label side can be more destructive (or nonrepairable) than one on the shiny side. ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2013, 4:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-you-cant-fathom-people-not-understanding/660360/43 "2013-06-07T16:34:18Z")
> [@perfectparanoia](#): > > Some music is designed to be clapped on the two and four (swing, for example) and some on one and three (rock, typically). > > I have never heard anyone clap one and four. WTH? :smack: 😃 I meant one and three. Rock and roll is 2 and 4 (“it’s got a backbeat, you can’t blues it”), unless something has gone terribly wrong since the 80s. ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2013, 4:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-you-cant-fathom-people-not-understanding/660360/44 "2013-06-07T16:42:35Z")
> [@TriPolar](#): > > I don’t get how people think they are so smart because they understand one thing, and totally ignore their ignorance and inability to grasp so many other concepts. > > Sorry folks, get over yourselves. You’ve managed to strike out in one swing. I don’t think anybody thinks they’re better than anyone else. When you understand something well, but someone else can’t comprehend it, it’s frustrating to try to explain it to them. You can try to explain quantum physics to me in terms a 1st grader should be able to understand, and I’m still only going to have a vague idea of what the fuck you’re talking about. It’s because I’m a spatial person and physics is abstract to me. An even simpler example: six months ago you could have explained how to make a dovetail 'til you were blue in the face, and I still wouldn’t have been able to make one. But show me once and I’ve got it. Most people have something that they’re good at, or have knowledge that just seems it should be common or at least teachable to most others. It’s a surprise when it turns out that it’s not so. ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2013, 4:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-you-cant-fathom-people-not-understanding/660360/45 "2013-06-07T16:45:14Z")
> [@Chefguy](#): > > You’ve managed to strike out in one swing. I don’t think anybody thinks they’re better than anyone else. When you understand something well, but someone else can’t comprehend it, it’s frustrating to try to explain it to them. You can try to explain quantum physics to me in terms a 1st grader should be able to understand, and I’m still only going to have a vague idea of what the fuck you’re talking about. It’s because I’m a spatial person and physics is abstract to me. An even simpler example: six months ago you could have explained how to make a dovetail 'til you were blue in the face, and I still wouldn’t have been able to make one. But show me once and I’ve got it. Most people have something that they’re good at, or have knowledge that just seems it should be common or at least teachable to most others. It’s a surprise when it turns out that it’s not so. You just struck yourself out. You’re perfectly capable of understanding why someone can’t understand something. It’s frustrating to try to teach someone who just doesn’t ‘get it’, but it’s easy to understand why they don’t. ---
**Author:** ![Blackberry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ecd19e/32.png) [@Blackberry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blackberry)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2013, 5:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-you-cant-fathom-people-not-understanding/660360/46 "2013-06-07T17:17:26Z")
> [@Aspidistra](#): > > I don’t understand people who don’t get rhythm, meter and emphasis in writing and speaking. That commercial does sound annoying. I know a girl online who doesn’t even get what emphasis in speaking is. Her kid has a weird name and I asked her which syllable the emphasis is on. She had no idea what I was talking about and couldn’t answer. I tried to explain it multiple ways, and gave the example of a vinyl record or the verb record. She’s from California so it’s not like she has some weird accent where she says both words the same way, but she still didn’t understand. I still don’t know how to pronounce her kid’s stupid name. ---
**Author:** ![HeyHomie](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/heyhomie/32/207_2.png) [@HeyHomie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HeyHomie)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2013, 5:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-you-cant-fathom-people-not-understanding/660360/47 "2013-06-07T17:32:52Z")
My mother (and apparently, _millions_ of other people throughout the world) just cannot grasp the idea that if you do not like something, that doesn’t mean you need to keep it from everyone else in the world too. Mom doesn’t like guns (“What if [my nephew] finds it and shoots himself?”); nobody should be allowed to own a gun. Mom doesn’t like marijuana (“All it does it make you fell good! You don’t need it!”); nobody should be allowed to grow, purchase, or use marijuana. My college buddy Jeff doesn’t like hormonal birth control (“Children are a gift from God! Besides, it could lead to a spontaneous abortion!”); nobody should be allowed to purchase hormonal birth control. Etc. etc. etc. ---
**Author:** ![Incubus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/c68b51/32.png) [@Incubus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Incubus)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2013, 5:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-you-cant-fathom-people-not-understanding/660360/48 "2013-06-07T17:33:50Z")
I think a part of it is just laziness. There are subjects we might have very little interest in, and so we don’t pursue it. Or the nature of the subject is hard to understand based on the way we learn. But if understanding it takes an enormous amount of time and effort, for a result that isn’t applicable to your daily life, it might not have much of a point. Thus, the people who say, “I just don’t get math”. Maybe they would understand it with enough time and effort, but in their own lives, its not that necessary for them. If it played heavily in a hobby they had or a job/career they wanted, you bet they’d be more enthusiastic about learning it. It is hard to know why someone wouldn’t know something we consider a no-brainer, but my best guess is that it isn’t really important to them. Is knowing the difference between its and it’s really that critical in day to day life? They’re both pronounced the same, and most readers would know what is meant even if it was written wrong. So there’s really no incentive for some people to go out of their way to make sure they know the difference (and use it). Personally I find the more someone knows, the more they think that their knowlege is somehow important, since obviously it is important to them. I like to know how things work, but that doesn’t mean I’ll neccessarily be better at using it than someone who just uses something and never thinks past its basic function. ---
**Author:** ![Misnomer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/misnomer/32/14897_2.png) [@Misnomer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Misnomer)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2013, 5:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-you-cant-fathom-people-not-understanding/660360/49 "2013-06-07T17:35:37Z")
I don’t understand people who don’t listen to music. At all. And are perfectly happy that way. I can’t be friends with people who have no music in their life; it’s such a fundamental difference. > [@zweisamkeit](#): > > Basically, most people who couldn’t carry a tune in a bucket can tell they suck Have you ever watched an _American Idol_ audition epsiode? :dubious: But seriously, I’d change your “most” to “some”: I’m a musician and have encountered many, many people who cannot tell that their singing is horribly off key. They honestly think they sound fine (or much better than they actually do). ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2013, 6:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-you-cant-fathom-people-not-understanding/660360/50 "2013-06-07T18:29:02Z")
> [@Engineer\_Dude](#): > > Proper procedures for handling optical discs (CD, DVDs, Blu-rays). > > When you take them out of a player, you should put your index finger through the center hub and your thumb around the outside. There’s no need to grab the disc with your hand, especially not on the data side. > > And after you take it out, you should put it in some kind of protective case. Even if it’s a thin paper case. But if you don’t, you should put the data side up, not down. That way, if you end up dragging it a little when you pick it up, you’ll only scratch the label and not the data. We borrow DVDs from the library on occasion, and I swear that previous users were cleaning them with brillo pads. There are some people in the world who operate on, “It’s not mine, so I better be careful with it,” and the rest who operate on, “It’s not mine, so who gives a fuck?” As you can probably tell, I feel the latter group should all be taken out back and shot. 🙂 ETA: Removed quoted post because I missed one crucial word. ---
**Author:** ![Jragon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e19b73/32.png) [@Jragon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jragon)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2013, 6:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-you-cant-fathom-people-not-understanding/660360/51 "2013-06-07T18:42:19Z")
> [@TriPolar](#): > > I don’t get how people think they are so smart because they understand one thing, and totally ignore their ignorance and inability to grasp so many other concepts. > > Sorry folks, get over yourselves. > [@QuickSilver](#): > > +1 I hope you’re not referring to me, as the OP, because I made it very clear that I didn’t think people who couldn’t understand basic programming were dumb, and even contributed to try to explain to other people why I didn’t understand the thing they understand. This thread did turn way nastier than intended very quickly, though. ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2013, 6:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-you-cant-fathom-people-not-understanding/660360/52 "2013-06-07T18:52:05Z")
> [@Jragon](#): > > I hope you’re not referring to me, as the OP, because I made it very clear that I didn’t think people who couldn’t understand basic programming were dumb, and even contributed to try to explain to other people why I didn’t understand the thing they understand. This thread did turn way nastier than intended very quickly, though. I wasn’t actually referring to you, or anyone in this thread. I do understand your frustration, it’s why I rarely try to teach anyone to program anymore. But I also understand the frustration of music teachers who tried to teach me. ---
**Author:** ![fumster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e9c0ed/32.png) [@fumster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fumster)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2013, 6:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-you-cant-fathom-people-not-understanding/660360/53 "2013-06-07T18:54:13Z")
Thermostats: it’s not that hard. The heat comes on when the inside temperature is below the set point and goes off when it is above. Turning it up to 80 doesn’t make it warm up faster, turning it to 60 doesn’t make it cool down sooner. Just set the damn thing to the temperature you want and stop fiddling with it all day. ---
**Author:** ![fumster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e9c0ed/32.png) [@fumster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fumster)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2013, 7:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-you-cant-fathom-people-not-understanding/660360/54 "2013-06-07T19:03:10Z")
> [@TriPolar](#): > > I wasn’t actually referring to you, or anyone in this thread. I do understand your frustration, it’s why I rarely try to teach anyone to program anymore. But I also understand the frustration of music teachers who tried to teach me. I don’t get time signatures: 12121212 vs 12341234, it’s just beat,beat,beat,beat,beat,beat,beat,beat. ---
**Author:** ![Inner\_Stickler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inner_stickler/32/318_2.png) [@Inner\_Stickler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inner_Stickler)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2013, 7:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-you-cant-fathom-people-not-understanding/660360/55 "2013-06-07T19:10:32Z")
Temporally they’re equivalent but emphatically, they’re slightly different. ---
**Author:** ![merrick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/58956e/32.png) [@merrick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/merrick)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2013, 7:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-you-cant-fathom-people-not-understanding/660360/56 "2013-06-07T19:50:28Z")
> [@Thudlow\_Boink](#): > > I question this advice. [The label side _is_ the data side](http://electronics.howstuffworks.com/cd1.htm), and I’ve been told that a scratch (as opposed to a mark or smudge) on the label side can be more destructive (or nonrepairable) than one on the shiny side. That is correct, but only for CDs. The higher-density formats use shorter wavelengths and higher-aperture lenses, which in turn means that the data layer has to be closer to the read head. DVDs are made made in two halves with the data layer in the middle (that’s why you can get double-sided DVDs, but not double-sided CDs). They are pretty much scratch-resistant unless you actually take a pen-knife to them. Blu-Rays do have the data on the shiny side, under a thin (0.1mm) cover-layer. For these you do have to worry about scuffing the data side. ---
**Author:** ![Harmonious\_Discord](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/74df32/32.png) [@Harmonious\_Discord](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harmonious_Discord)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2013, 9:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-you-cant-fathom-people-not-understanding/660360/57 "2013-06-07T21:20:56Z")
Morals do not require a certain religion to have them. ---
**Author:** ![Lasciel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e79b87/32.png) [@Lasciel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lasciel)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2013, 9:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-you-cant-fathom-people-not-understanding/660360/58 "2013-06-07T21:54:43Z")
> [@Inner\_Stickler](#): > > Temporally they’re equivalent but emphatically, they’re slightly different. Funnily enough, I spent a frustrating few minutes last night trying to convey this exact concept to my (not musically gifted) husband, and failing miserably. It ended with him believing me, but still not able to tell the difference despite repeated and varied examples. I’m no great shakes at music either, but I just don’t understand how someone can’t hear a beat. I’m also on board with all of the posters confused by the “passivity/apathetic/not curious” phenomenon. I have a hard time imagining what their inner mental life is like, not being interested in various and random subjects all the time. Again - I’m not saying I’m a mental giant myself, but I do get curious about stuff, or try to solve problems / figure out stuff myself for the satisfaction of knowing I can. Other people tho - just shrug and leave it. It’s very weird. ---
**Author:** ![Trinopus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/2bfe46/32.png) [@Trinopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trinopus)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2013, 12:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-you-cant-fathom-people-not-understanding/660360/59 "2013-06-08T00:03:54Z")
I once spent half an hour trying to explain the difference between “Save” and “Save As.” The guy never did get it. One of the most frustrating experiences of my life. And he was not a dummy, by any means. For my part, I’ve never been able to figure out what an “Addressograph Multigraph” is. I’ve looked it up dozens of times, and it just doesn’t work. My father had one, and I asked him, to the point of absurdity, “But what is it.” It was clear to him…but never to me. ---
**Author:** ![jackdavinci](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackdavinci/32/3259_2.png) [@jackdavinci](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jackdavinci)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2013, 12:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-you-cant-fathom-people-not-understanding/660360/60 "2013-06-08T00:09:54Z")
> [@Greg\_Charles](#): > > The possessive form of “it” is “its” and “it’s” is a contraction of it is. Even on a message dedicated to fighting ignorance, we get that wrong about 80% of the time. That boggles me. For the people that don’t know better, it’s an easy mistake to make since in English the apostrophe is used for almost every other case of possession. For the people that do know better it can just be a technical issue. They may be on a keyboard with an inconvenient apostrophe, or they may type it correctly but it autocorrects. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-you-cant-fathom-people-not-understanding/660360.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-you-cant-fathom-people-not-understanding/660360.md?page=4)