# Things that you learned from cartoon science... **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [April 15, 2003, 9:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-you-learned-from-cartoon-science/168954 "2003-04-15T21:55:19Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Sithrider](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/54ee81/32.png) [@Sithrider](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sithrider)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2003, 5:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-you-learned-from-cartoon-science/168954/21 "2003-04-16T05:11:20Z")
-That Minmei was a tease. -That when a Pilot from the world of GI Joe gets shot out of the air (cobra pilots included) they ALWAYS safely parachute to the ground. -That if there’s a little black cat in front of you with a bag don’t start a fight with him cuz he’s probably got something to counter your super power in said bag. -That the earth can be destroyed by a firecraker. -That ACME sells leg steroids that really work. -That energy can be placed in a cubed recepticle. 317 ---
**Author:** ![Sithrider](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/54ee81/32.png) [@Sithrider](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sithrider)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2003, 5:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-you-learned-from-cartoon-science/168954/22 "2003-04-16T05:11:20Z")
-That Minmei was a tease. -That when a Pilot from the world of GI Joe gets shot out of the air (cobra pilots included) they ALWAYS safely parachute to the ground. -That if there’s a little black cat in front of you with a bag don’t start a fight with him cuz he’s probably got something to counter your super power in said bag. -That the earth can be destroyed by a firecraker. -That ACME sells leg steroids that really work. -That energy can be placed in a cubed recepticle. 317 ---
**Author:** ![neutron\_star](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/51bf81/32.png) [@neutron\_star](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/neutron_star)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2003, 5:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-you-learned-from-cartoon-science/168954/23 "2003-04-16T05:12:12Z")
All radioactive materials are neon green and their warm glow is capable of lighting an entire room. ---
**Author:** ![msmith537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@msmith537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/msmith537)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2003, 5:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-you-learned-from-cartoon-science/168954/24 "2003-04-16T05:26:08Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by TPWombat \* > The ACME[sup]TM[/sup] corporation is the Microsoft of the cartoon world. \*\* More like WalMart. The most effective fighting vehicle is a 50+ foot giant robot piloted by 4 or 5 gay guys and maybe a girl. A magnet is capable of atracting any object regardless of size or distance from a bolt to a sattelite in orbit. Mice live in small holes in the wall with perfectly cut archways. Every home should have the following: -white paint -a huge amount of fireworks -a lathe ---
**Author:** ![NoCoolUserName](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/5fc32e/32.png) [@NoCoolUserName](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NoCoolUserName)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2003, 5:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-you-learned-from-cartoon-science/168954/25 "2003-04-16T05:40:53Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Mephisto \* > \*\*snip… > A space modulator is evidently the most powerful device in the universe. \*\* A **Q39** space modulator. ---
**Author:** ![Bearflag70](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Bearflag70](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bearflag70)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2003, 5:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-you-learned-from-cartoon-science/168954/26 "2003-04-16T05:44:41Z")
When sleeping, it is possible to snore so strongly that blankets, window shades, and other nearby objects move back and forth with each breath. Birds in cuckoo clocks sometimes carry big mallets. Shooting a duck in the face with a shotgun only causes its beak to swivel around in different directions. Even if you look both ways before crossing a railroad track in the middle of the desert, you can still get hit by a train as soon as you step foot on the track. You can avoid injury if you step out of a falling phone booth just before hitting the ground. Applying invisible ink to anything will make it invisible. ---
**Author:** ![Yumblie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/76d3ee/32.png) [@Yumblie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yumblie)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2003, 5:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-you-learned-from-cartoon-science/168954/27 "2003-04-16T05:50:49Z")
- When having suffered severe head trauma, victim will often see birds or stars hovering around their head. Sometimes they’ll even see the object they last came in contact with. Another common symptom is a large bump suddenly forming around the hit area. - When being extremely surprised or under sharp, sudden pain, victim will temporary gain super strength and effortlessly leap into the air, most likely while screaming - When infatuated, the pupils of an individual may suddenly turn red and into the shape of a heart. Also, hearts will float around around the individual. - When consuming dynamite, upon the detonation the victim’s stomach will suddenly inflate to great proportions for a second, deflate, and then smoke will come out of the ears and mouth. Most often, this will give the victim a spicy aftertaste in their mouth. ---
**Author:** ![Sock\_Munkey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/aeb1de/32.png) [@Sock\_Munkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sock_Munkey)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2003, 5:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-you-learned-from-cartoon-science/168954/28 "2003-04-16T05:52:41Z")
Only those animals important to the plot have human intelligence, all other animals are just animals and are treated as such, even by the intelligent animals. ---
**Author:** ![Ranchoth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranchoth/32/1066_2.png) [@Ranchoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranchoth)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2003, 6:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-you-learned-from-cartoon-science/168954/29 "2003-04-16T06:04:39Z")
If you hear of any force dismissed as “a bunch of mumbo jumbo,” it means that said force is actually powerful enough to alter the very fabric of existence. Contrary to popular belief, it is possible to kill someone for good in an American cartoon…but only in “pilot” episodes, and series finales. Granted, it’s hard to tell when you’re in one of those episodes yourself, but there are a few warning signs. Such as significant character development, making the decision to create a secret identity (Aside from sidekicks. You can tell that you’re a sidekick if you already know a superhero yourself, or are best friends with someone that gets in hot water over unexplainable absences every single week) , or having your secret identity or the knowledge of your arch foe’s very existence exposed to the general public without ready access to a time machine or a mind control device. All Judges everywhere are brain dead, and more often than not will issue rulings that have been illegal since Hammurabi. This is also true in real life, of course, but cartoon Judges are much more brazen. ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2003, 6:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-you-learned-from-cartoon-science/168954/30 "2003-04-16T06:14:31Z")
Anime has taught me that sexual attraction results in post-nasal drip. Also, when we were children, none of us had noses. ---
**Author:** ![sciguy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e68b1a/32.png) [@sciguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sciguy)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2003, 6:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-you-learned-from-cartoon-science/168954/31 "2003-04-16T06:15:45Z")
If you get into a shouting match with someone, you can win by taking their position (i.e. “Wabbit season”) which will confuse them into taking yours, allowing you to concede “victory” to them. The entrance to a rabbit hole is always on horizontal ground, perfectly circular, and often connected to an elevator. Useful items can be procured by rummaging in a purse/bag/pocket or (in extreme cases) by reaching behind your back. Explosives come in only three forms: sticks of dynamite (occasionally several bundled together), a tubular rocket with a nosecone, or a black sphere. The only way of setting them off is using a fuse. In pitch black darkness, your eyes will give off a soft light so they can be seen. It’s possible to knock something off a window ledge, run down a flight of stairs, and get to the bottom in time to catch it (or be clobbered by it, depending on plot needs). ---
**Author:** ![Kamino\_Neko](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kamino_neko/32/34_2.png) [@Kamino\_Neko](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kamino_Neko)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2003, 6:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-you-learned-from-cartoon-science/168954/32 "2003-04-16T06:18:10Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by NoCoolUserName \* > \*\*A **Q39** space modulator. \*\* On that note… No matter where an alien is from, it speaks English (Or Japanese), and uses the latin alphabet. ---
**Author:** ![Jeff\_Lichtman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jeff_lichtman/32/1531_2.png) [@Jeff\_Lichtman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jeff_Lichtman)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2003, 6:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-you-learned-from-cartoon-science/168954/33 "2003-04-16T06:59:53Z")
Every tree has a big mallet hidden behind it. A painted-on tunnel is like a real tunnel, but only for the first one to go through it. It turns back into a painting for the next person who tries to go through. If you want to see the back of your head in a mirror, just turn the mirror around. If you punch a pile of bricks hard enough, they fall together into the shape of a building. Spinach reverses entropy. It doesn’t matter how long a limousine is, because it can always bend while going around corners. ---
**Author:** ![fiztig](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/f19dbf/32.png) [@fiztig](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fiztig)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2003, 7:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-you-learned-from-cartoon-science/168954/34 "2003-04-16T07:24:17Z")
Roadrunners are either indesctructible or the luckiest bunch of chromosomes on the planet. NASA should coat the space shuttle in roadrunners. ---
**Author:** ![Frank\_2](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/8c91f0/32.png) [@Frank\_2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frank_2)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2003, 2:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-you-learned-from-cartoon-science/168954/35 "2003-04-16T14:11:17Z")
Any hallway with multiple doors is actually a hypercube where all occupants and rooms can move in 4 dimensions. ---
**Author:** ![Bearflag70](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Bearflag70](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bearflag70)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2003, 2:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-you-learned-from-cartoon-science/168954/36 "2003-04-16T14:33:33Z")
If you lay 10 feet of track anywhere in the universe, a train will be along within 5 minutes. ---
**Author:** ![Bearflag70](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Bearflag70](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bearflag70)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2003, 2:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-you-learned-from-cartoon-science/168954/37 "2003-04-16T14:41:16Z")
If you lay 10 feet of track anywhere in the universe, a train will be along, at full speed, within 5 minutes. ---
**Author:** ![Balance](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ccd318/32.png) [@Balance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Balance)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2003, 3:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-you-learned-from-cartoon-science/168954/38 "2003-04-16T15:47:41Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Mephisto \* > A space modulator is evidently the most powerful device in the universe. Would this be simple gravitics? 😃 I have always assumed that a space modulator would allow one to induce/control oscillations in the curvature of space time, which might allow one to manipulate both time and gravity. Presumably, an explosive space modulator sets up destructively oscillating distortions within the volume of a planet and causes it to fly apart in a massive explosion. Obviously, this is tied to the time dilation effect that often occurs in crisis situations in C-space. A panicked toon emits eludium, a short-lived high-energy element that drastically increases the local curvature, causing time to slow from the perspective of those outside the effect. Thus, we see the panicky toon moving desperately in slow motion in a (usually vain) attempt to prevent disaster. It is believed that some anime characters can secrete eludium from their sebaceous glands. ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2003, 4:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-you-learned-from-cartoon-science/168954/39 "2003-04-16T16:15:10Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Balance \* > I have always assumed that a space modulator would allow one to induce/control oscillations in the curvature of space time,… You don’t use a space modulator for that, just a pair of glasses. Hell, with a really good pair of glasses, you can go out to the middle of a field and dig up a rooster that’s hiding in a corn bin. ---
**Author:** ![G.B.H.Hornswoggler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/c67d28/32.png) [@G.B.H.Hornswoggler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/G.B.H.Hornswoggler)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2003, 4:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-you-learned-from-cartoon-science/168954/40 "2003-04-16T16:17:59Z")
Since no one yet has mentioned it, let me be the first to point everyone to the wonderful game that is [Toon](http://www.sjgames.com/toon/). If you’ve ever wished the above rules applied to you, you’ll enjoy it. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-you-learned-from-cartoon-science/168954.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-you-learned-from-cartoon-science/168954.md?page=3)