# Things that you learned from cartoon science... **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [April 15, 2003, 9:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-you-learned-from-cartoon-science/168954 "2003-04-15T21:55:19Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Torgo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@Torgo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Torgo)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2003, 3:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-you-learned-from-cartoon-science/168954/61 "2003-04-17T03:12:24Z")
If you are duped or fooled, upon learning of your misfortune you will be temporarily transformed into a donkey or large lollipop. If you encounter a great surprise or shock your eyeballs will actually unattach themselves from their sockets, enlarge dramatically and hang in mid-air for a few seconds before righting themselves. Likewise, your tongue may extend several feet out of your mouth and your jaw will stretch and hit the ground, making a loud, metallilc “clang” sound. ---
**Author:** ![Incubus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/c68b51/32.png) [@Incubus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Incubus)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2003, 4:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-you-learned-from-cartoon-science/168954/62 "2003-04-17T04:34:05Z")
Chamelions can mimic any color. Except plaid. When faced with plaid Chamelions will go insane. Roadrunners can be pursuied and captured by taking an ACME catalog, picking a random page, ordering that item, then repeating this process about 4 more times. This gets you bizarre combinations of items which result in very creative contraptions (my favorite was ACME skis, ACME fan, and ACME ice machine. The ice machine carpeted the ground with ice cubes, which the skis slid over, and the fan propelled the whole lot. I swear that Coyote was the MacGuyver of cartoons! 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Incubus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/c68b51/32.png) [@Incubus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Incubus)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2003, 4:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-you-learned-from-cartoon-science/168954/63 "2003-04-17T04:38:55Z")
ACME brand catapults are very unstable machines and firing one can have the following results- 1. Boulder gets thrown 90 degrees off course 2. Boulder gets thrown 180 degrees off course 3. Boulder rolls off catapult 4. Boulder gets thrown straight up in the air 5. Entire catapult flips over, leaving boulder completely motionless 6. Nothing happens, unless the operator climbs on the catapult to inspect the malfunction, in this case the catapult will immediately fire. ---
**Author:** ![Yumblie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/76d3ee/32.png) [@Yumblie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yumblie)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2003, 6:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-you-learned-from-cartoon-science/168954/64 "2003-04-17T06:29:15Z")
- Upon finding a piano, **no one** can resist the urge to play _Those Endearing Young Charms_. That is the only song anyone will ever play. And of course they will always get the same two notes wrong, in which case someone, usually a villain, will run in and try and correct you, with explosive results. - In extreme situations, someone can be capable of holding an abnormally large amount of heavy objects at once. However, once a feather is dropped onto the pile, they are immedietely incapable of holding it anymore. - The orbital plane of the solar system is completely flat. Also, Earth is always positioned directly between Venus and Mars. This makes viewing Venus from Mars impossible, unless of course the Earth were, say, blown up. ---
**Author:** ![furryman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/furryman/32/99_2.png) [@furryman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/furryman)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2003, 8:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-you-learned-from-cartoon-science/168954/65 "2003-04-17T20:31:54Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by kunilou \* > \*\*High-class villains speak like Orson Welles. Low-class villians have Bronx accents and wear black and white striped shirts with newsboy caps. \*\* All Mad Scientists sound like Peter Lorre. All gangsters sound like Edgar G. Robinson. People make funny noises whenever they move. Apparently you have to be running at top speed before you can actually go anywhere. ---
**Author:** ![Mephisto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/48db29/32.png) [@Mephisto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mephisto)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2003, 9:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-you-learned-from-cartoon-science/168954/66 "2003-04-17T21:52:35Z")
Wow, I sure learned a lot about space modulators here. 🙂 I thought of more. Mephitis _mephitis_ (the striped skunk), though sometimes smart enough to speak two languages and pass the intelligence test of _La Legion Etrangere_ (or the French Foreign Legion), are nonetheless sometimes unable to distinguish other members of their own species from those of Felis _domestica_ (the house cat), especially if F. _domestica_ is a black female who has recently brushed her back against something freshly painted white. No doubt F. _domestica_ could explain to M. _mephitis_ the error of his ways, but unfortunately, most female members of F. _domestica_ lack the gift of speech. Of course, unlike his sister, the male of the species F. _domestica_ can speak, especially if he is bipedal and either black or yellow, but more times than not his words will be marred by some sort of speaking impediment. Sometimes members of M. _mephitis_ and F. _domestica_ can be found chasing each other through the streets of Paris or deserts of North Africa–even in the latter case, neither animal will normally succumb to heat stroke–F. _domestica_’s super-animal endurance is fueled by fear and disgust, while the extraordinary physical abilities of the male M. _mephitis_ can be attributed to good French food, a rigorous military physical fitness training regime and, of course, _amour_. Speaking of _mephitic amour_, only three things in the Universe have been shown to be more powerful–said _amour_ passionately reciprocated by the black female F. _domestica_, the space modulator (Q39 model, of course), and the well-sharpened yellow pencil with a large pink eraser. –Mephisto, who knows he knows jack about biology or French and who grows curious why his name is so similar to those of both the striped skunk’s genus and species . . . ---
**Author:** ![photopat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/e95f7d/32.png) [@photopat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/photopat)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2003, 10:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-you-learned-from-cartoon-science/168954/67 "2003-04-17T22:08:33Z")
If you fall in love your heart will beat so hard it visibly bounces out of your chest. Talcum powder is explosive. Money is always carried around in big canvas bags with $ signs printed on them. If you ever find a singing frog in a metal box hidden in a vault or time capsule, drop it and run. ---
**Author:** ![FairyDust](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ccd318/32.png) [@FairyDust](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyDust)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2003, 10:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-you-learned-from-cartoon-science/168954/68 "2003-04-17T22:19:11Z")
If you’re ever in a life-threatening situation, just pop open a can of spinach and eat it. Instant super strength. Hooray! ---
**Author:** ![Dragonblink](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b9bd4f/32.png) [@Dragonblink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dragonblink)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2003, 3:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-you-learned-from-cartoon-science/168954/69 "2003-04-18T03:41:47Z")
It’s not England unless “Rule, Britannia” is playing. Ditto France and “La Marseillaise” (which I am ashamed to discover that I don’t know how to spell). ---
**Author:** ![photopat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/e95f7d/32.png) [@photopat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/photopat)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2003, 3:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-you-learned-from-cartoon-science/168954/70 "2003-04-18T15:55:27Z")
If you get hit in the face with a frying pan the back of the pan will protrude out forming a perfect mold of your face. Ditto metal doors. ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2003, 4:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-you-learned-from-cartoon-science/168954/71 "2003-04-18T16:35:15Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by photopat \* > \*\*If you get hit in the face with a frying pan the back of the pan will protrude out forming a perfect mold of your face. Ditto metal doors. \*\* Actually, that’s a variable effect. Sometimes your face will mold itself to the interior of the skillet. It might depend on whether the skillet is cast iron or copper-bottomed RevereWare[sup]TM[[/sup]. ---
**Author:** ![dwc1970](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a183cd/32.png) [@dwc1970](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dwc1970)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2003, 6:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-you-learned-from-cartoon-science/168954/72 "2003-04-18T18:10:33Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by FairyDust \* > \*\*If you’re ever in a life-threatening situation, just pop open a can of spinach and eat it. Instant super strength. Hooray! \*\* But only do this after you’ve already had the crap kicked out of you several times before you’re finally convinced that you’ll never beat the bad guy otherwise. ---
**Author:** ![Lumpy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lumpy/32/446_2.png) [@Lumpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lumpy)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2003, 7:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-you-learned-from-cartoon-science/168954/73 "2003-04-19T19:39:01Z")
A person intent on homicide can be momentarily deterred by a psychological technique known as the Bamboozle Effect. This consists of talking quickly about a subject intended to distract the assailant’s attention; such as asserting that one knows the location of nearby buried treasure, that it’s the assailant’s birthday and a surprise party has been prepared, or that a pretty woman wants to make his acquaintance. This technique always works despite any implausibility in the story. The effect is amplified by wearing any sort of costume or disguise. The assailant may have some vague suspicion that something doesn’t add up but will be unable to pin down exactly what. Any object that can remain suspended in the air can support a person’s weight. This includes clouds, the top of a parachute canopy, or a small canary. All dwarves and midgets have the patience, maturity and good judgement of an average four-year old. ---
**Author:** ![Innanna](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/ecd19e/32.png) [@Innanna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Innanna)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2003, 7:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-you-learned-from-cartoon-science/168954/74 "2003-04-19T19:52:47Z")
Male rabbits (or “wabbits”) wearing dresses are irresistibly attractive to adult human males. There is apparently some sort of pheromone at work. ---
**Author:** ![rjung](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/45deac/32.png) [@rjung](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rjung)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2003, 9:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-you-learned-from-cartoon-science/168954/75 "2003-04-19T21:45:25Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Innanna \* > Male rabbits (or “wabbits”) wearing dresses are irresistibly attractive to adult human males. There is apparently some sort of pheromone at work. To be fair, it might be because the adult human male simply hasn’t “gotten any” in a long time… ---
**Author:** ![Innanna](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/ecd19e/32.png) [@Innanna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Innanna)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2003, 2:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-you-learned-from-cartoon-science/168954/76 "2003-04-20T14:13:55Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by rjung \* > \*\*To be fair, it might be because the adult human male simply hasn’t “gotten any” in a long time… \*\* You may have something here. After all, I don’t know how many women think Elmer Fudd is hot. Or even luke-warm. ---
**Author:** ![NoCoolUserName](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/5fc32e/32.png) [@NoCoolUserName](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NoCoolUserName)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2003, 4:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-you-learned-from-cartoon-science/168954/77 "2003-04-21T16:46:01Z")
All objects have complete physical integrity, except when they don’t. I’ll explain: A train car (airplane, empire state building, planet) can be picked up and moved, if you have enough strength, by just grabbing it and waving it around. It will never crumble or break. Likewise, the place you’re standing will never give under you no matter what amount of mass you’re moving. For planets, this generally requires that you be able to fly, but I wouldn’t be surprised to find an episode where someone stops two planets from colliding by pushing on one while standing on the other. Of course, anything that would cause problems for the bad guy by crumbling at an inopportune moment will certainly do so. ---
**Author:** ![Syntropy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/65b543/32.png) [@Syntropy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Syntropy)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2003, 3:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-you-learned-from-cartoon-science/168954/78 "2003-05-10T03:03:04Z")
That “mud spelled backward is dum.” ---
**Author:** ![moriah](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b2d939/32.png) [@moriah](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/moriah)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2003, 3:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-you-learned-from-cartoon-science/168954/79 "2003-05-11T03:35:16Z")
**In Literature, Mass Media, and Modern Communications** From cartoons, I learned that it wasn’t Shakespeare who popularized asides (characters talking to the audience), but that from pre-historic times jurassic-era animals-turned-house-appliances were knocking down the fourth wall as they bemoaned the existential angst of their objectification, as in, pterydactyl/phonograph’s lament, “hey, it’s a livin’.” It’s sad because it’s true. ## Peace. Oh, yeah, I learned any pre-historic animal can be analagous to a 20th century appliance. ---
**Author:** ![Grousser](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/9d8465/32.png) [@Grousser](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grousser)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2003, 8:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-you-learned-from-cartoon-science/168954/80 "2003-05-26T08:24:38Z")
I can’t believe you have forgotten this one: All humans (and all animals, by the way) have only four fingers in each hand. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-you-learned-from-cartoon-science/168954.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-that-you-learned-from-cartoon-science/168954.md?page=5)