# Things the opposite sex just doesn't get. **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [July 27, 2010, 3:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-the-opposite-sex-just-doesnt-get/548193 "2010-07-27T15:58:09Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![tim-n-va](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tim-n-va/32/3001_2.png) [@tim-n-va](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tim-n-va)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2010, 6:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-the-opposite-sex-just-doesnt-get/548193/101 "2010-07-28T18:36:51Z")
It might be slightly off topic but these could help: If a woman says “You are not being supportive” it means “You used logic in an emotional arguement”. If a man says “I made a command decision” (and he’s not in a military command role), it means “I knew it was wrong but I did it anyway”. I don’t have strong feelings about which way the toilet paper should go but the best argument I’ve heard supported “under” if there are cats or small children in the house. I can understand women wanting the seat down but no man I know would sit down and fall thru more than once before he develops the habit of looking. ---
**Author:** ![melodyharmonius](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/melodyharmonius/32/21310_2.png) [@melodyharmonius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/melodyharmonius)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2010, 6:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-the-opposite-sex-just-doesnt-get/548193/102 "2010-07-28T18:37:23Z")
Hi, I used to be an indecisive restaurant chick. But I’ve learned - i swear! Either I ask for him to pick 2 places he’s good with going to, and then choose one, OR if I say I don’t care and he picks a place, then I get excited to go there - I swear. Alternately, I also try to mention some places I’ve already eaten at that week to cut down any additional back-and-forth. Him: Where do you want to eat? Me: I’m open, but I did have chinese for lunch yesterday and Mexican last night, just so you know. Can I get a gold star now? ---
**Author:** ![Thudlow\_Boink](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thudlow_boink/32/320_2.png) [@Thudlow\_Boink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thudlow_Boink)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2010, 7:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-the-opposite-sex-just-doesnt-get/548193/103 "2010-07-28T19:04:13Z")
> [@Valgard](#): > > You say “Oh, a wise guy, eh?” in a room full of 90 year old male accountants and one of them will ditch his walker to demonstrate the Curly Shuffle. I vote for this for Sentence Of The Week. > [@corkboard](#): > > > [@Agent\_Foxtrot](#): > > > > Please, please explain this. I own two pairs of sneakers, two pairs of dress shoes, and flip-flops. Why does anyone need more than that? > > You’ve obviously never experienced the benefits of the f-me pump Is that something like a penis pump? > [@tdn](#): > > Men, understand that if a woman is upset and says she doesn’t want to talk about it, it means that she’s upset and she wants to talk about it. > > Women, understand that if a man is upset and says he doesn’t want to talk about it, it means that he’s upset and **he doesn’t want to talk about it**. In my experience, this is true. > [@gonzomax](#): > > The real answer is a man could go out and get laid and it would mean nothing except he had some fun. It would not mean he didn’t love his wife or family. Loving his wife or family doesn’t keep a man from **wanting** to go out and get laid, but it may well keep him from actually doing so, because he doesn’t want to hurt them or risk losing them. ---
**Author:** ![Max\_the\_Immortal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/6de8d8/32.png) [@Max\_the\_Immortal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Max_the_Immortal)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2010, 7:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-the-opposite-sex-just-doesnt-get/548193/104 "2010-07-28T19:29:11Z")
Male here. No, we are not all exactly like the man you live with. It’s very irritating to hear a woman complain about “men” as if the one man she’s mad at is the prototypical man, and that his rare foibles are universal to our gender. ---
**Author:** ![simster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/simster/32/1047_2.png) [@simster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/simster)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2010, 7:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-the-opposite-sex-just-doesnt-get/548193/105 "2010-07-28T19:49:27Z")
> [@melodyharmonius](#): > > > [@GHO57](#): > > > > > [@melodyharmonius](#): > > > > > > Also, a clean space does not a dumping ground make. > > > > …I’m confuzzled… It’s… underutilized space. Are you telling me I should pile things on top of each other… how could I possibly hope to add that in my archiving system? > > > > \ > > > > …Apparently one of the things women don’t understand is the importance of order, and proper archiving procedure. > > This made me chuckle. But I’m talking more about the clean space I just made on the counter or the table. That you immediately put your toolkit on. Wait, I’m _finally_ doing that thing you asked me to do that you _finally_ cleaned off a space for me to put the stuff I need to do it with, and you’re bitching about it? No wonder nothing ever gets done around here. ---
**Author:** ![Dogzilla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e480ec/32.png) [@Dogzilla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dogzilla)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2010, 8:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-the-opposite-sex-just-doesnt-get/548193/106 "2010-07-28T20:01:56Z")
> [@Agent\_Foxtrot](#): > > \ > > Women, why do you do this? I don’t. I have no problem whatsoever asserting my desires/needs/wants. When I am asked that question, I throw out a suggestion. If I have my stomach set on something, then I will say, “Yeah, that sounds good, but I’ve been thinking about Mexican food all day? Are you totally committed to Greek or can we do that next time?” It’s not that difficult, but a lot of women are socialized to think that asserting themselves or asking for what they want will be perceived as selfish or demanding. I don’t _care_ if you think I’m a selfish demanding bitch; at least I won’t have to eat Greek food when I wanted Mexican. 🆒 ---
**Author:** ![shiftless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9c0ed/32.png) [@shiftless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/shiftless)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2010, 8:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-the-opposite-sex-just-doesnt-get/548193/107 "2010-07-28T20:05:59Z")
> [@Todderbob](#): > > Male here: I’m not thinking anything, _goddamnit._ Wellll, sort of. Technically we are thinking about something but we can hardly tell our wives that it’s basically a mental screen saver of that woman we saw on the street this morning bending over to pick something up. It’s not really thinking though. ---
**Author:** ![simster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/simster/32/1047_2.png) [@simster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/simster)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2010, 8:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-the-opposite-sex-just-doesnt-get/548193/108 "2010-07-28T20:39:54Z")
> [@shiftless](#): > > > [@Todderbob](#): > > > > Male here: I’m not thinking anything, _goddamnit._ > > Wellll, sort of. Technically we are thinking about something but we can hardly tell our wives that it’s basically a mental screen saver of that woman we saw on the street this morning bending over to pick something up. It’s not really thinking though. It’s that or we’re imaginig ourselves as ninja spy pirates… ---
**Author:** ![overlyverbose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/9dc877/32.png) [@overlyverbose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/overlyverbose)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2010, 8:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-the-opposite-sex-just-doesnt-get/548193/109 "2010-07-28T20:46:17Z")
> [@The\_Bith\_Shuffle](#): > > Male. > > If you insist that I’m angry or bothered until I actually get visibly angry or bothered, that doesn’t mean you were right before. I wasn’t bothered or angry until you insisted that I was, and the only reason I am now is that you persisted in your misperceptions. You were never anything but 100% wrong about my state of mind. Ugh. My husband does this to me often. Drives me nuts. Generally it happens when I’m really tired, when I’m less likely to want to talk or have less patience for day-to-day tasks but must do them anyway. I’m not mad at him at all, until he keeps asking me why I’m mad at him, or worse, putting forth theories of why I’m mad at him. Him: Overly, just let me clean the damn bottles. There’s not reason to get mad at me over it. Me: No need. I’m almost done. Why don’t you do it tomorrow? Him: Just tell me next time, for God’s sake. I hate it when you get mad at me over things I can’t control! Me: I’m not mad at you. I’m just washing the bottles now so I don’t have to do it later. Him: Well you don’t have to get mad at me about it. Really, it’s just downhill from there. It does make me wonder, though, if I’m doing something I’m unaware of to make him think I’m mad. I asked him if I did The Sigh and he said no. I’m not sure what else I could be doing. The Mad Fart? ---
**Author:** ![gravitycrash](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/977dab/32.png) [@gravitycrash](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gravitycrash)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2010, 9:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-the-opposite-sex-just-doesnt-get/548193/110 "2010-07-28T21:06:46Z")
That really cracks me up Overly. Do you flip out when you do get really angry? My ex used to have an awful temper and I would desperately try to head off a percieved potential eruption by trying to be extra caring and nice. Of course this really did make her pissed off at me even though she wasn’t to begin with. Oops. ---
**Author:** ![melodyharmonius](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/melodyharmonius/32/21310_2.png) [@melodyharmonius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/melodyharmonius)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2010, 9:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-the-opposite-sex-just-doesnt-get/548193/111 "2010-07-28T21:25:15Z")
> [@simster](#): > > > [@melodyharmonius](#): > > > > > [@GHO57](#): > > > > > > > [@melodyharmonius](#): > > > > > > > > Also, a clean space does not a dumping ground make. > > > > > > …I’m confuzzled… It’s… underutilized space. Are you telling me I should pile things on top of each other… how could I possibly hope to add that in my archiving system? > > > > > > \ > > > > > > …Apparently one of the things women don’t understand is the importance of order, and proper archiving procedure. > > > > This made me chuckle. But I’m talking more about the clean space I just made on the counter or the table. That you immediately put your toolkit on. > > Wait, I’m _finally_ doing that thing you asked me to do that you _finally_ cleaned off a space for me to put the stuff I need to do it with, and you’re bitching about it? > > No wonder nothing ever gets done around here. Nope nope, don’t try to pull that one on me, buckaroo. It’s not you temporarily placing something while you work a job that gets me. It’s the drop it here, go get a drink from the fridge and turn on the tv and fall asleep placement that drives me nuts. ---
**Author:** ![overlyverbose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/9dc877/32.png) [@overlyverbose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/overlyverbose)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2010, 9:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-the-opposite-sex-just-doesnt-get/548193/112 "2010-07-28T21:36:51Z")
> [@gravitycrash](#): > > That really cracks me up Overly. Do you flip out when you do get really angry? > My ex used to have an awful temper and I would desperately try to head off a percieved potential eruption by trying to be extra caring and nice. > > Of course this really did make her pissed off at me even though she wasn’t to begin with. Oops. I’ve been really angry maybe four times in my life, once at my husband. I guess I did flip out then, but there was no screaming. I threw some laundry. I don’t get mad very often at all, though when I get frustrated I sometimes cry, which is massively irritating. My husband gets freaked out by the tears, even though I’m fully capable of carrying on a normal conversation. ---
**Author:** ![simster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/simster/32/1047_2.png) [@simster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/simster)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2010, 12:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-the-opposite-sex-just-doesnt-get/548193/113 "2010-07-29T00:50:35Z")
> [@melodyharmonius](#): > > > [@simster](#): > > > > > [@melodyharmonius](#): > > > > > > > [@GHO57](#): > > > > > > > > > [@melodyharmonius](#): > > > > > > > > > > Also, a clean space does not a dumping ground make. > > > > > > > > …I’m confuzzled… It’s… underutilized space. Are you telling me I should pile things on top of each other… how could I possibly hope to add that in my archiving system? > > > > > > > > \ > > > > > > > > …Apparently one of the things women don’t understand is the importance of order, and proper archiving procedure. > > > > > > This made me chuckle. But I’m talking more about the clean space I just made on the counter or the table. That you immediately put your toolkit on. > > > > Wait, I’m _finally_ doing that thing you asked me to do that you _finally_ cleaned off a space for me to put the stuff I need to do it with, and you’re bitching about it? > > > > No wonder nothing ever gets done around here. > > Nope nope, don’t try to pull that one on me, buckaroo. It’s not you temporarily placing something while you work a job that gets me. It’s the drop it here, go get a drink from the fridge and turn on the tv and fall asleep placement that drives me nuts. who you calling buckaroo, sweetikins? Step one of any task is getting things in order, just because I want to take 5 minutes to relax before I get started to clear my head so I get it right, doesn’t mean I’m not going to get started on it right away… but now that you’re all bitchy about it, fuckit, I’m takin a nap. ---
**Author:** ![GHO57](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/df788c/32.png) [@GHO57](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GHO57)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2010, 12:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-the-opposite-sex-just-doesnt-get/548193/114 "2010-07-29T00:58:14Z")
> [@simster](#): > > > [@melodyharmonius](#): > > > > > [@simster](#): > > > > > > > [@melodyharmonius](#): > > > > > > > > > [@GHO57](#): > > > > > > > > > > > [@melodyharmonius](#): > > > > > > > > > > > > Also, a clean space does not a dumping ground make. > > > > > > > > > > …I’m confuzzled… It’s… underutilized space. Are you telling me I should pile things on top of each other… how could I possibly hope to add that in my archiving system? > > > > > > > > > > \ > > > > > > > > > > …Apparently one of the things women don’t understand is the importance of order, and proper archiving procedure. > > > > > > > > This made me chuckle. But I’m talking more about the clean space I just made on the counter or the table. That you immediately put your toolkit on. > > > > > > Wait, I’m _finally_ doing that thing you asked me to do that you _finally_ cleaned off a space for me to put the stuff I need to do it with, and you’re bitching about it? > > > > > > No wonder nothing ever gets done around here. > > > > Nope nope, don’t try to pull that one on me, buckaroo. It’s not you temporarily placing something while you work a job that gets me. It’s the drop it here, go get a drink from the fridge and turn on the tv and fall asleep placement that drives me nuts. > > who you calling buckaroo, sweetikins? Step one of any task is getting things in order, just because I want to take 5 minutes to relax before I get started to clear my head so I get it right, doesn’t mean I’m not going to get started on it right away… but now that you’re all bitchy about it, fuckit, I’m takin a nap. Women, no understanding of planning… and apparently the limits of human endurance especially regarding the importance of proper hydration and sufficient rest. Sciency stuff like that just goes straight over their pretty little heads. 😃 Which reminds me I need to go hide… I mean FIND, not hide, something really important, that I need for things… might take a couple of hours. ---
**Author:** ![Acantha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9fc348/32.png) [@Acantha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acantha)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2010, 1:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-the-opposite-sex-just-doesnt-get/548193/115 "2010-07-29T01:15:18Z")
> [@melodyharmonius](#): > > Hi, I used to be an indecisive restaurant chick. But I’ve learned - i swear! > > \*\*Either I ask for him to pick 2 places he’s good with going to, and then choose one, OR if I say I don’t care and he picks a place, then I get excited to go there - I swear. > \*\* > Alternately, I also try to mention some places I’ve already eaten at that week to cut down any additional back-and-forth. > > Him: Where do you want to eat? > Me: I’m open, but I did have chinese for lunch yesterday and Mexican last night, just so you know. > > Can I get a gold star now? That’s my strategy as well. Give me 2 or 3 choices and I’ll pick, don’t just ask me where I want to go because I have no idea what price range you have in mind or if you were planning fast food, sit down, or what exactly. Otherwise, I’m choosing the same place all the time. ---
**Author:** ![Askance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/askance/32/8281_2.png) [@Askance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Askance)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2010, 1:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-the-opposite-sex-just-doesnt-get/548193/116 "2010-07-29T01:57:32Z")
Having to say “I love you” every day would be a sign of insecurity, not of undying devotion. The fact that I’m still here, day after day, trudging through life with you rather than living free by myself should be all the proof of my dedication to you and our life together that you need - actions speak louder than words, right? I buy you flowers almost every week; I didn’t do that in any previous relationship. Don’t make me perform like a pantomime horse. > [@Jack\_Batty](#): > > Women just don’t understand that we need our blow-jobs \*before \*the jacuzzi, damnit. I’m not with you here. What’s wrong with the jacuzzi getting a blowjob first? ---
**Author:** ![rowrrbazzle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rowrrbazzle/32/414_2.png) [@rowrrbazzle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rowrrbazzle)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2010, 2:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-the-opposite-sex-just-doesnt-get/548193/117 "2010-07-29T02:37:08Z")
> [@Spiff](#): > > Wait. Wasn’t there a male U.S. politician a few months ago (6+ or so) who had his ass handed to him on a plate when he referred to a female politician as a lady? Brigadier General Michael Walsh addressed _Senator_ Barbara Boxer as “ma’am”, and she told him she preferred “senator” because she “worked so hard to get that title”. [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f0CprVYsG0k](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f0CprVYsG0k) ---
**Author:** ![simster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/simster/32/1047_2.png) [@simster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/simster)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2010, 4:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-the-opposite-sex-just-doesnt-get/548193/118 "2010-07-29T04:08:45Z")
Honey, bring me a pair of small needlenose pliers… … she returns with a large pair of channel locks … no, honey, those are channel locks, I’m trying to pull a hook out of my hand, not amputate the finger… how bout just a regular pair of pliers? … she returns with a pair of side cutters… Don;t even get me started if I ask for a 3/16 6pt box wrench - or try to describe the difference between a framing hammer, a tack hammer and a ball peen hammer. Any more, when I ask for something, she’s taken to bringing me everything that might be similar or close - saves both of us lots of time. _this is why_ I put my kit of stuff in the spot you just cleaned - I know I have what I need, I know where it is, and I’ll know when I get it all picked back up - assuming I can get my lazy ass off the couch after my nap. ---
**Author:** ![Septima](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/dc4da7/32.png) [@Septima](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Septima)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2010, 11:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-the-opposite-sex-just-doesnt-get/548193/119 "2010-07-29T11:50:23Z")
I always win the tool argument with guys: not only can I name tons of really expensive tools that look way cooler than what they have and that I actually own, I use the things on a daily basis. If it comes in a tool catalog, it’s for wannabes. ---
**Author:** ![corkboard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e9bcb4/32.png) [@corkboard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/corkboard)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2010, 12:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-the-opposite-sex-just-doesnt-get/548193/120 "2010-07-29T12:21:13Z")
> [@Septima](#): > > \ If it comes in a tool catalog, it’s for wannabes. :dubious: Ok. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-the-opposite-sex-just-doesnt-get/548193.md?page=5) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-the-opposite-sex-just-doesnt-get/548193.md?page=7)