Things they didn't teach us older people.

Indeed. Keyboarding is a class my students still take.

For many years I typed “hunt-n-peck” with two fingers from each hand. Then one day it occurred to me that i knew where all the keys were, they never moved, and there’s no reason to look at them. So I put my fingers in the “home” position, closed my eyes, and started typing. It took a while to get my speed up, but there was no problem after that. Do people really have to take classes for this?

I wasn’t taught how to grow a smart phone out of the skin of my hand so that I am never, ever without it poised in a usable position.

You had a head start. If you don’t know the keyboard layout, you have to learn it someplace!