# Things We Can't Do Now that the Terror Threat is Back to Orange **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 20, 2003, 7:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-we-cant-do-now-that-the-terror-threat-is-back-to-orange/176364 "2003-05-20T19:34:10Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![tiny\_ham](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@tiny\_ham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tiny_ham)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2003, 7:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-we-cant-do-now-that-the-terror-threat-is-back-to-orange/176364/1 "2003-05-20T19:34:10Z")
[THIS JUST IN](http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&cid=514&u=/ap/20030520/ap_on_go_ca_st_pe/fbi_al_qaida_21), Terror Threat back at orange. We’re going to have to curb our activities including: 1. Embracing other, differing cultures and religions. 2. Substituting plain yogurt for sour cream 3. Register user names with threatening undertones, such as ABDULLAHKILLS 4. Taking ONE long lasting Aleve instead of four doses of the leading pain reliever. ---
**Author:** ![World\_Eater](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f04885/32.png) [@World\_Eater](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/World_Eater)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2003, 7:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-we-cant-do-now-that-the-terror-threat-is-back-to-orange/176364/2 "2003-05-20T19:39:48Z")
1. No light beer. ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2003, 7:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-we-cant-do-now-that-the-terror-threat-is-back-to-orange/176364/3 "2003-05-20T19:40:37Z")
Probably shouldn’t wear white boots as that might re-escalate the terror. (Not that a sane man would have considered this) ---
**Author:** ![Doomtrain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/0ea827/32.png) [@Doomtrain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doomtrain)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2003, 7:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-we-cant-do-now-that-the-terror-threat-is-back-to-orange/176364/4 "2003-05-20T19:42:00Z")
Orange totally clashes with my outfit. Damn these terrorists for hating our freedom! ---
**Author:** ![Lsura](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7993a0/32.png) [@Lsura](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lsura)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2003, 7:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-we-cant-do-now-that-the-terror-threat-is-back-to-orange/176364/5 "2003-05-20T19:54:45Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by GMRyujin \* > \*\*Orange totally clashes with my outfit. Damn these terrorists for hating our freedom! \*\* But, you see, it’s all a plan by the University of Tennessee…subliminal _ **GO VOLS!** _ messages. Meanwhile, it’s no longer Great taste and less filling…just one or the other. ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2003, 7:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-we-cant-do-now-that-the-terror-threat-is-back-to-orange/176364/6 "2003-05-20T19:56:56Z")
Feh. New York has been on Orange Alert since the Astor Place riots of 1849. ---
**Author:** ![Barbarian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e19adc/32.png) [@Barbarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Barbarian)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2003, 8:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-we-cant-do-now-that-the-terror-threat-is-back-to-orange/176364/7 "2003-05-20T20:02:17Z")
1. Abandon any sense of reality and proportion. All U.S. Citizens should submit completely to authority. Of course, I’m a Canuck, so I’ll just ignore that orange alert and eat some kiwis. ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2003, 8:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-we-cant-do-now-that-the-terror-threat-is-back-to-orange/176364/8 "2003-05-20T20:05:08Z")
Orange Alert is _sooooo_ last crisis. Can’t they come up with something more original? Or maybe being original isn’t allowed?? ---
**Author:** ![Lsura](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7993a0/32.png) [@Lsura](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lsura)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2003, 8:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-we-cant-do-now-that-the-terror-threat-is-back-to-orange/176364/9 "2003-05-20T20:09:00Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by FairyChatMom \* > \*\*Orange Alert is _sooooo_ last crisis. Can’t they come up with something more original? Or maybe being original isn’t allowed?? \*\* This from someone with _Orange_ Park, FL as their location? 😉 ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2003, 8:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-we-cant-do-now-that-the-terror-threat-is-back-to-orange/176364/10 "2003-05-20T20:10:28Z")
I’m predicting a run on cheap self-tanner. ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2003, 8:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-we-cant-do-now-that-the-terror-threat-is-back-to-orange/176364/11 "2003-05-20T20:10:49Z")
> [@](#): > > Feh. New York has been on Orange Alert since the Astor Place riots of 1849. Actually, Manhattan has been on Orange Alert even longer: the settlers realized the natives might not like $12 worth of beads only a few minutes after the trade, and it’s been like that ever since. I’ve heard that NYC is in such a budget crunch that we’re sponsoring our terror scare: we’re now on Orange Slice Alert. ---
**Author:** ![\_etalhea](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/_/779978/32.png) [@\_etalhea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/_etalhea)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2003, 8:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-we-cant-do-now-that-the-terror-threat-is-back-to-orange/176364/12 "2003-05-20T20:13:10Z")
I’ve warned my girlfriend to stop wrapping that towel around her head when she gets out of the shower. I don’t want the ATF breaking my door down just 'cause she walked in front of a window or something. ---
**Author:** ![Eats\_Crayons](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/278dde/32.png) [@Eats\_Crayons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eats_Crayons)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2003, 8:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-we-cant-do-now-that-the-terror-threat-is-back-to-orange/176364/13 "2003-05-20T20:13:50Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by FairyChatMom \* > \*\*Orange Alert is _sooooo_ last crisis. Can’t they come up with something more original? Or maybe being original isn’t allowed?? \*\* Mm. How about Chartreuse Alert! Snazzy yet dignified with a contemporary-yet-slightly-retro flare… Or we can go fuscia to be a little more gauche. ---
**Author:** ![Doomtrain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/0ea827/32.png) [@Doomtrain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doomtrain)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2003, 8:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-we-cant-do-now-that-the-terror-threat-is-back-to-orange/176364/14 "2003-05-20T20:17:38Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Lsura \* > \*\*But, you see, it’s all a plan by the University of Tennessee…subliminal _ **GO VOLS!** _ messages. > Meanwhile, it’s no longer Great taste and less filling…just one or the other. \*\* My god! And to think, we’re all going to be up in Knoxville! We may…may…wind up drinking and shouting “WOOOO!” at football games! The horror. The horror. ---
**Author:** ![Marathon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7cd45c/32.png) [@Marathon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marathon)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2003, 8:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-we-cant-do-now-that-the-terror-threat-is-back-to-orange/176364/15 "2003-05-20T20:19:02Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Barbarian \* > \*\*Of course, I’m a Canuck, so I’ll just ignore that orange alert and eat some kiwis. \*\* Won’t _somebody_ think of the New Zealanders?! ---
**Author:** ![Philster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/13edae/32.png) [@Philster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Philster)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2003, 8:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-we-cant-do-now-that-the-terror-threat-is-back-to-orange/176364/16 "2003-05-20T20:38:59Z")
note to self: reduce chanting of ‘Allah Akbar’ down to three times a day ---
**Author:** ![Doomtrain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/0ea827/32.png) [@Doomtrain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doomtrain)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2003, 8:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-we-cant-do-now-that-the-terror-threat-is-back-to-orange/176364/17 "2003-05-20T20:42:16Z")
I think New Zealanders are dumb foreigners. Howzabout that? ---
**Author:** ![Giraffe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/giraffe/32/129_2.png) [@Giraffe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giraffe)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2003, 8:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-we-cant-do-now-that-the-terror-threat-is-back-to-orange/176364/18 "2003-05-20T20:55:27Z")
1. Can now only hang toilet paper in proper “overhang” fashion, rather than all willy-nilly as before. ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Lendervedder](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/happy_lendervedder/32/8488_2.png) [@Happy\_Lendervedder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Lendervedder)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2003, 9:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-we-cant-do-now-that-the-terror-threat-is-back-to-orange/176364/19 "2003-05-20T21:12:44Z")
1. Waste the duct tape on that leaky pipe. 2. Juggle hand gernades in a Jewish Community Center. ---
**Author:** ![LolaCocaCola](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7cd45c/32.png) [@LolaCocaCola](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LolaCocaCola)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2003, 9:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-we-cant-do-now-that-the-terror-threat-is-back-to-orange/176364/20 "2003-05-20T21:24:41Z")
I guess those Security Guards outside of Grand Central Station holding those pole thingys with the mirrors on the end of 'em are gonna have to start checking under cars again instead of under ladies skirts. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-we-cant-do-now-that-the-terror-threat-is-back-to-orange/176364.md?page=2)