# Things we learned from the Twilight Zone **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [November 10, 2009, 12:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-we-learned-from-the-twilight-zone/516969 "2009-11-10T00:16:57Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![astorian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ad7895/32.png) [@astorian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astorian)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2009, 3:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-we-learned-from-the-twilight-zone/516969/41 "2009-11-10T15:42:37Z")
If you’re a notorious Nazi war criminal, you probably shouldn’t go back to your old concentration camp to reminisce. ---
**Author:** ![Don\_Draper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b2d939/32.png) [@Don\_Draper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Don_Draper)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2009, 3:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-we-learned-from-the-twilight-zone/516969/42 "2009-11-10T15:47:34Z")
Girl, that haggard old woman on the horse at the top of the cliff shrieking at you is really your future self, warning you not to elope with that shiftless, alcoholic bum…and also warning you to stay out of the sun and moisturize frequently. Forget everything you know about your life; it’s a lie. You are really a department store mannequin, who was granted life for one month, and c’mon! Your month is over and it’s time for you to return. Death looks like [Robert Redford](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AsT_55MselM&feature=related), and he’s a sweetheart who’s nice to old ladies. There must be [a single norm! A single virtue! A single purpose!](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bMev5QQxs00&feature=related) It’s a good thing that you the kid made that hideously deformed Jack-in-the-box. You are OBSOLETE! OBSOLETE! OBSOLETE! OBSOLETE! ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2009, 3:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-we-learned-from-the-twilight-zone/516969/43 "2009-11-10T15:48:33Z")
Always be nice to people. If you did wrong earlier in life, 'fess up, and beg for forgiveness. If it seems too good to be true, it probably is. Conformity is bad, but doing your own thing can get you killed. Always double-check to see how big you are compared to things around you. Beauty is only skin-deep, if that. Don’t assume that you’re still alive. ---
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2009, 3:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-we-learned-from-the-twilight-zone/516969/44 "2009-11-10T15:52:56Z")
> [@HeadNinja](#): > > Aliens, as a general rule, are bad news. They may want to eat, torture, or trick you. The same thing for dolls. And ventriloquist dummies. ---
**Author:** ![RealityChuck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/realitychuck/32/195_2.png) [@RealityChuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RealityChuck)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2009, 4:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-we-learned-from-the-twilight-zone/516969/45 "2009-11-10T16:28:22Z")
Watch out for ironic reversals. ---
**Author:** ![Karen\_X2](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/90db22/32.png) [@Karen\_X2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Karen_X2)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2009, 5:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-we-learned-from-the-twilight-zone/516969/46 "2009-11-10T17:22:13Z")
> [@The\_Falling\_Reverend](#): > > **You** are the monsters on Maple St. ! Just who do you listen to on that radio, Steve? Don’t EVER hang with Billy Mumy ---
**Author:** ![G0sp3l](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/c68b51/32.png) [@G0sp3l](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/G0sp3l)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2009, 5:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-we-learned-from-the-twilight-zone/516969/47 "2009-11-10T17:44:05Z")
If you’re going to stick a knife in your enemies grave, don’t wear a duster (even if you’re as bad-ass as Lee Marvin, no good will come of it) ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Q](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/898d66/32.png) [@Johnny\_Q](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Q)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2009, 5:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-we-learned-from-the-twilight-zone/516969/48 "2009-11-10T17:50:58Z")
If anyone tells you there’s “room for one more” on anything, catch the next one. Any inconvenience you suffer will be tempered by your being alive to suffer it. ---
**Author:** ![Intergalactic\_Gladiator](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/intergalactic_gladiator/32/112_2.png) [@Intergalactic\_Gladiator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Intergalactic_Gladiator)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2009, 5:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-we-learned-from-the-twilight-zone/516969/49 "2009-11-10T17:51:08Z")
> [@blondebear](#): > > aka: Don’t sit next to William Shatner on an airplane. I imagine it would be tough to do this. He takes up two seats and his ego takes up a third. Hey Ohhhhhhhh! ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2009, 5:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-we-learned-from-the-twilight-zone/516969/50 "2009-11-10T17:58:22Z")
When you get on an airliner, just be happy to land in your own century. ---
**Author:** ![SirRay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/cc9497/32.png) [@SirRay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SirRay)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2009, 6:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-we-learned-from-the-twilight-zone/516969/51 "2009-11-10T18:15:07Z")
Always attempt to sell old cars with mystical properties to the Soviet Premier. ---
**Author:** ![UncleRojelio](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/unclerojelio/32/3160_2.png) [@UncleRojelio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleRojelio)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2009, 6:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-we-learned-from-the-twilight-zone/516969/52 "2009-11-10T18:26:16Z")
If you can’t see, whether it’s because you are blind or just because the power went out, don’t go stumbling around in the dark. (Side note: How come whenever I’m flipping through the on screen guide and see that _Twilight Zone_ is on, it’s always this same episode? ) ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2009, 6:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-we-learned-from-the-twilight-zone/516969/53 "2009-11-10T18:32:31Z")
> [@UncleRojelio](#): > > (Side note: How come whenever I’m flipping through the on screen guide and see that _Twilight Zone_ is on, it’s always this same episode? ) Submitted for your consideration: a man has a television set, a remote, and all the channels he could ask for. But he’s about to find that he may be the entertainment this particular sweeps week. Reception isn’t always clear… in the Twilight Zone. ---
**Author:** ![HeadNinja](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b4bc9f/32.png) [@HeadNinja](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HeadNinja)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2009, 7:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-we-learned-from-the-twilight-zone/516969/54 "2009-11-10T19:49:31Z")
> [@Biggirl](#): > > Never work with dolls. Or play with them. Or go down the stair with one anywhere in your house. Wind up dolls too. In fact, just get rid of all the toys. If your daughter asks for a Talking Tina for Christmas is it time to find a new daughter. ---
**Author:** ![Icerigger](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/icerigger/32/432_2.png) [@Icerigger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Icerigger)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2009, 7:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-we-learned-from-the-twilight-zone/516969/55 "2009-11-10T19:55:15Z")
That the starship C57-D from Forbidden Planet was a very popular design for many human and non-human civilizations.😉 ---
**Author:** ![Don\_Draper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b2d939/32.png) [@Don\_Draper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Don_Draper)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2009, 7:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-we-learned-from-the-twilight-zone/516969/56 "2009-11-10T19:58:07Z")
Nobody ever claimed this was Heaven, sir. My dear man…THIS IS THE OTHER PLACE! A HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!! ---
**Author:** ![alphaboi867](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alphaboi867/32/3898_2.png) [@alphaboi867](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alphaboi867)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2009, 8:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-we-learned-from-the-twilight-zone/516969/57 "2009-11-10T20:00:25Z")
> [@astorian](#): > > If you’re a notorious Nazi war criminal, you probably shouldn’t go back to your old concentration camp to reminisce. If you ever wish to be a major world-leader be very, _very_ specific about it. ---
**Author:** ![ralph124c](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/8797f3/32.png) [@ralph124c](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ralph124c)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2009, 8:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-we-learned-from-the-twilight-zone/516969/58 "2009-11-10T20:17:33Z")
Never pick up hitchikers! Also, be very nice to bratty kids with psychokinetic powers! Never, never agree to leave the earth (on an experimental spaceship). Finally:when you die, make sure your dog dies with you (he will guide you into the “real” heaven). ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2009, 8:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-we-learned-from-the-twilight-zone/516969/59 "2009-11-10T20:49:07Z")
> [@Koxinga](#): > > \*\*[size=3]…The same thing happened to _meeeee_! That’s a _Third Rock from the Sun_ reference, isn’t it? Damn. Can’t find it on YouTube. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Moto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9de0a6/32.png) [@Mr.Moto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Moto)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2009, 8:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-we-learned-from-the-twilight-zone/516969/60 "2009-11-10T20:50:43Z")
Those gold bars aren’t going to get you squat. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-we-learned-from-the-twilight-zone/516969.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-we-learned-from-the-twilight-zone/516969.md?page=4)