# Things we learned from the Twilight Zone **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [November 10, 2009, 12:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-we-learned-from-the-twilight-zone/516969 "2009-11-10T00:16:57Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![ajdebosco](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecd19e/32.png) [@ajdebosco](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ajdebosco)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2009, 6:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-we-learned-from-the-twilight-zone/516969/81 "2009-11-12T18:24:06Z")
If there is a wounded policeman lying outside your door and it starts to snow, don’t let him in, particularly if he resembles the Sundance Kid. ---
**Author:** ![ajdebosco](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecd19e/32.png) [@ajdebosco](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ajdebosco)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2009, 6:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-we-learned-from-the-twilight-zone/516969/82 "2009-11-12T18:45:15Z")
> [@HeadNinja](#): > > … > > Greed is always punished. Every single time. Gold will be worthless, your face will be destroyed, … Ah yes, _ **The Masks** _ Even in season five with few really memorable episodes, that one really creeped me out to no end. (still does) If someone asks you to don a mask, or any other peculiar item at some will-reading or inheritance hearing, walk briskly towards the nearest exit.🆒 ---
**Author:** ![Barracuda3](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7feea3/32.png) [@Barracuda3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Barracuda3)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2009, 7:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-we-learned-from-the-twilight-zone/516969/83 "2009-11-12T19:49:44Z")
Don’t store wax figures of mass murderers in your basement. ---
**Author:** ![Sitnam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Sitnam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sitnam)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2009, 8:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-we-learned-from-the-twilight-zone/516969/84 "2009-11-12T20:01:57Z")
If someone offers you a million dollars to push a red button, there’s going to be a catch. If you’re escaping from the law or out on National Guard patrol in the West you’re going to time travel a hundred years into the past. It’s going to happen. If you’re nearly blind without your reading glasses grab a few extra pair before heading into the fallout shelter. ---
**Author:** ![ministryman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f6c823/32.png) [@ministryman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ministryman)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2009, 10:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-we-learned-from-the-twilight-zone/516969/85 "2009-11-17T22:25:14Z")
If the townspeople WANT you to leave, take their advice and go. If the town/living space is too good to be true, you are either dead, in Hell, or in The Twilight Zone. ---
**Author:** ![Nobody](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/94ad74/32.png) [@Nobody](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nobody)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2009, 10:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-we-learned-from-the-twilight-zone/516969/86 "2009-11-17T22:29:56Z")
[Don’t insult anybody who owns a Chinese Restaurant](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Misfortune_Cookie) ---
**Author:** ![Argent\_Towers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e8c25b/32.png) [@Argent\_Towers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Argent_Towers)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2009, 11:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-we-learned-from-the-twilight-zone/516969/87 "2009-11-17T23:26:07Z")
DEMAND a certified check before you get your vocal cords removed in order to win a bet with your boss. Do NOT take him at his word when he insists that he has the money to pay you if you win. ---
**Author:** ![Koxinga](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/4af34b/32.png) [@Koxinga](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Koxinga)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2009, 1:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-we-learned-from-the-twilight-zone/516969/88 "2009-11-18T01:08:21Z")
Things could take a darker turn if we included lessons from Alfred Hitchcock Presents. Such as, if the club you frequent is famous for a certain incredibly delicious but infrequently prepared dish, and it also has a large wall honoring “departed” club members, then don’t tell the club owner ahead of time when you’re intending to leave yourself. Just go, and don’t come back. Or, if you’ve killed a cop and are in the hospital recovering from that shoot-out, and manage to smooth talk your nurse into helping you escape the guards in your room, it will turn out that the nurse is the widow of the cop you killed, and she has plans of her own for you. D’oh! ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2009, 2:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-we-learned-from-the-twilight-zone/516969/89 "2009-11-18T14:43:43Z")
If your spaceship crash-lands, you might as well just kill yourself right away. Things are only going to get worse. ---
**Author:** ![astorian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ad7895/32.png) [@astorian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astorian)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2009, 4:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-we-learned-from-the-twilight-zone/516969/90 "2009-11-18T16:41:52Z")
> [@ajdebosco](#): > > If there is a wounded policeman lying outside your door and it starts to snow, don’t let him in, particularly if he resembles the Sundance Kid. You really think Death can’t get through a locked door? This is not the Grim Reaper of “Final Destination.” Death is actually a pretty decent guy, in “The Twliight Zone.” Death CHOSE to appear in a pleasant form (Robert Redford) out of kindness. Even after the old lady figured out who he was, he didn’t laugh maniacally and carry her off to Hell. He treats her nicely and respectfully, until she goes wit hhim of her own volition. ---
**Author:** ![ajdebosco](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecd19e/32.png) [@ajdebosco](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ajdebosco)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2009, 5:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-we-learned-from-the-twilight-zone/516969/91 "2009-11-18T17:09:45Z")
> [@astorian](#): > > You really think Death can’t get through a locked door? > > This is not the Grim Reaper of “Final Destination.” Death is actually a pretty decent guy, in “The Twliight Zone.” Death CHOSE to appear in a pleasant form (Robert Redford) out of kindness. Even after the old lady figured out who he was, he didn’t laugh maniacally and carry her off to Hell. He treats her nicely and respectfully, until she goes wit hhim of her own volition. Death can, of course, come through a locked door, but in this outstanding episode, he chose not operate like this. The two characters make it a point to expound on the fact that he had to resort to trickery because she had so successfully avoided his touch long, long after her time was due. She had seen him before, on the bus, at the store, etc. and had eluded him several times until that fateful night. Yes, he did comfort and help her accept her mortality, which is kind of how I hope to go, but like the poor old woman, I am not nearly ready to, ahem, check int the wooden Waldorf ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2009, 5:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-we-learned-from-the-twilight-zone/516969/92 "2009-11-18T17:40:32Z")
> [@Nobody](#): > > [Don’t insult anybody who owns a Chinese Restaurant](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Misfortune_Cookie) Dear god, this is the worst Twilight Zone episode ever. It’s worse than a Scary Door parody! ---
**Author:** ![Eutychus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a3d4f5/32.png) [@Eutychus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eutychus)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2009, 6:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-we-learned-from-the-twilight-zone/516969/93 "2009-11-18T18:20:07Z")
> [@Satchmo](#): > > Always keep a spare pair of reading glasses in your safe deposit box. Maybe two. The better lesson is don’t marry a bitch who doesn’t like to read! ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2009, 6:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-we-learned-from-the-twilight-zone/516969/94 "2009-11-18T18:24:45Z")
> [@Eutychus](#): > > The better lesson is don’t marry a bitch who doesn’t like to read! That too. Man, that woman was EVIL. Defacing a man’s book because he wants to read? ---
**Author:** ![Odaran09](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Odaran09](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Odaran09)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2009, 6:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-we-learned-from-the-twilight-zone/516969/95 "2009-11-18T18:55:15Z")
Don’t make deals for immortality then kill your wife by throwing her out a window. Life in prison can be a real b\*\*\*\*. ---
**Author:** ![Nobody](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/94ad74/32.png) [@Nobody](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nobody)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2009, 6:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-we-learned-from-the-twilight-zone/516969/96 "2009-11-18T18:57:01Z")
> [@Freudian\_Slit](#): > > Dear god, this is the worst Twilight Zone episode ever. It’s worse than a Scary Door parody! In my opinion [This](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Five_Characters_in_Search_of_an_Exit) is the worse episode ever. ---
**Author:** ![aceplace57](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aceplace57/32/3500_2.png) [@aceplace57](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aceplace57)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2009, 7:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-we-learned-from-the-twilight-zone/516969/97 "2009-11-18T19:09:27Z")
Stay out of the pool! At least I think it was a Twilight Zone ep or maybe a Hitchcock Presents ep. Kid sees friendly people at bottom of pool. He goes down and has a great time. Each time he stays a little longer with his new friends. At the end the parents find him floating. ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2009, 7:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-we-learned-from-the-twilight-zone/516969/98 "2009-11-18T19:13:34Z")
> [@aceplace57](#): > > Stay out of the pool! > > At least I think it was a Twilight Zone ep or maybe a Hitchcock Presents ep. > Kid sees friendly people at bottom of pool. He goes down and has a great time. Each time he stays a little longer with his new friends. At the end the parents find him floating. That sounds like the Bewitching Pool except it’s different. It’s two kids and their parents are angrily divorcing so they keep going under the water of their pool to this magical world. At the end, their parents ask them who they want to live with–mother or father–and they’re being super obnoxious about it. So the kids take off and leap into the pool and run away forever. There’s no bodies floating on the water, though. Personally I thought the world below the surface was pretty creepy, too. Anyone remember that weird old lady Aunt Tea? ---
**Author:** ![nivlac](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/3bc359/32.png) [@nivlac](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nivlac)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2009, 7:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-we-learned-from-the-twilight-zone/516969/99 "2009-11-18T19:18:00Z")
[ul] [li]When you make a deal with the Devil, there’s always a catch (_Escape Clause_, _Printer’s Devil_). [/li][li]You cannot cheat Death, maybe delay it a bit, but there’s no escape. (_One for the Angels, Nothing in the Dark_). [/li][li]If you’re ever in a nightmarish or weird situation after some accident, then you’re probably already dead even if you don’t realize it yet (_The Hitchhiker, The Hunt_).[/li][li]Ventriloquist dummies and dolls are evil (_The Dummy, Caesar and Me, Living Doll_).[/li][li]If you ever see someone who looks a lot like you, back away slowly, then run! It’s your doppelganger (_Mirror Image_).[/li][/ul] ---
**Author:** ![aceplace57](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aceplace57/32/3500_2.png) [@aceplace57](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aceplace57)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2009, 7:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-we-learned-from-the-twilight-zone/516969/100 "2009-11-18T19:19:00Z")
Ah, Bewitching Pool, that’s it! Thanks! I thought the parents found the kids dead. \ My memories shifted since I saw it 20 years ago. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-we-learned-from-the-twilight-zone/516969.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-we-learned-from-the-twilight-zone/516969.md?page=6)