# Things women do to make themselves attractive to men that don't make them attractive to men **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [September 27, 2012, 10:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-women-do-to-make-themselves-attractive-to-men-that-dont-make-them-attractive-to-men/635987 "2012-09-27T10:52:46Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Princhester](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/3e96dc/32.png) [@Princhester](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Princhester)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2012, 3:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-women-do-to-make-themselves-attractive-to-men-that-dont-make-them-attractive-to-men/635987/81 "2012-09-30T03:17:29Z")
> [@matt\_mcl](#): > > I know a number of women – certainly not all who do these things – who do them because they enjoy the way it makes them look and/or feel. I don’t accept it when people say they dress up\* for themselves in contradiction to people saying they dress up to be attractive to others. Even if people don’t dress up to be attractive to any particular person or group of people, I think they are dressing up “for themselves” only in the sense that they like how it makes them feel themselves when they appear more attractive to others. If this weren’t so - if people were truly dressing up just for themselves - they would be equally likely to dress up when at home and unseen as when they are going out, which is patently not the case. As to the OP, insofar as it states or implies any absolute truth about the attractiveness of various things to men, it is complete bullshit. As even a quick review of this thread shows, essentially every thing mentioned as something women “do to make themselves attractive to men” _does_ make them attractive to at least some men. The most anyone can reasonably do is make a statement along the lines of, for example, “Ladies, when you do , I don’t find that attractive [and neither does y% of other men]”. Avoiding the extrapolation of one’s own taste into some sort of utterly crap “absolute” is a trap the OP entirely fails to avoid. Take high heels for example. The OP says these are at the “top of the list” for things that women do to make themselves attractive to men that don’t make them attractive to men. Got bad news for you. High heels have been shown in study after study to [make women more attractive to men](http://eosmith.com/pdfs/Articles/JournalArticle30.pdf). Further, while the OP urges women to “stop putting crap around your eyes” and mocks women for thinking men like false eyelashes (“It’s bizarre”), actually men do [rate eye make-up](http://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1046/j.1467-2494.2003.00188.x/abstract)as having a significant impact on attractiveness. You’re entitled to your own taste, OP, but you are an outlier, not a standard. \*and by “dress up” I mean here dress up more than the minimum required to be socially acceptable and not get arrested ---
**Author:** ![Ferret\_Herder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e47774/32.png) [@Ferret\_Herder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferret_Herder)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2012, 3:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-women-do-to-make-themselves-attractive-to-men-that-dont-make-them-attractive-to-men/635987/82 "2012-09-30T03:24:04Z")
> [@Princhester](#): > > I don’t accept it when people say they dress up\* for themselves in contradiction to people saying they dress up to be attractive to others. Even if people don’t dress up to be attractive to any particular person or group of people, I think they are dressing up “for themselves” only in the sense that they like how it makes them feel themselves when they appear more attractive to others. If this weren’t so - if people were truly dressing up just for themselves - they would be equally likely to dress up when at home and unseen as when they are going out, which is patently not the case. I agree. I think to a good extent, the “dress up for me” in this context means “I’m not dressing up to get a date, I’m dressing up to feel good in some fashion.” I stated earlier that I’m tall but love wearing heels to be even taller. Well, that’s generally measured against other people. ---
**Author:** ![carnut](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnut/32/3531_2.png) [@carnut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnut)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2012, 3:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-women-do-to-make-themselves-attractive-to-men-that-dont-make-them-attractive-to-men/635987/83 "2012-09-30T03:47:03Z")
> [@polar\_bear](#): > > Having had quite a few talks - mayby begging them not to is a better description - with girls about possible breast enhancements, they often claim it is for themselves (allthough I still don’t really get why). Perhaps because our breasts help define our “femaleness” the way my ex wouldn’t have a vasectomy even though he didn’t want kids because it was part of how he defined his manliness. ---
**Author:** ![MichaelEmouse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/michaelemouse/32/101_2.png) [@MichaelEmouse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MichaelEmouse)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2012, 3:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-women-do-to-make-themselves-attractive-to-men-that-dont-make-them-attractive-to-men/635987/84 "2012-09-30T03:51:47Z")
> [@Dogzilla](#): > > This. > > I wear heels because I love shoes. It’s damn near a fetish. Properly designed and well balanced heels can be quite comfortable. I have a few pairs of Steve Maddens that are 3-4" heels and suitable for dancing in all night long. If I have to carry my shoes home, they are poorly designed and/or possibly really cheap. > > I’m not a big makeup girl. I wear a little, enough to make my eyes pop. Many, many men I have dated have watched the entire makeup application process and when I was finished, said, “I can’t tell any difference. You look exactly the same.” To which I replied, “Well, it’s a good thing I didn’t do this for you.” You do it only for yourself, right? If so, in the spirit of Princhester’s comment, are you just as likely to put on makeup and heels when no one will see you? Remember, you wear heels because you love shoes. > [@Dogzilla](#): > > I feel pretty with heels, a little eyeliner and mascara, and a pretty mani/pedi that matches my shoes or my outfit. I found a nail polish color that matches my car exactly – that one’s fun to wear. Currently, my toes are painted to resemble ladybugs (red base with black dots). It’s adorable. I could give a damn what the guy I’m banging thinks of any of the above; however, he does happen to have a foot/shoe fetish and loves slutty clothes and slut red nail polish. (The ladybugs are a compromise – I get something cute and playful and he gets to see red nails.) I will double down on the slutwear for him, upon request, You say “I could give a damn what the guy I’m banging thinks of any of the above”. Do you mean that you _couldn’t_ give a damn? If so, how do you reconcile saying that you don’t give a damn what a guy you’re dating thinks of your heels, eyeliner, mascara, mani, pedi, shoes and outfit and at the same time say “I will double down on the slutwear for him, upon request”. You don’t give a damn what he think about what you wear but you will double down on what you wear for him if he requests it. You don’t give a damn what he thinks about your pedi but your current pedi is a compromise of what you want and what he wants. It seems that a damn is indeed given. ---
**Author:** ![Ostrya](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/35a633/32.png) [@Ostrya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ostrya)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2012, 4:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-women-do-to-make-themselves-attractive-to-men-that-dont-make-them-attractive-to-men/635987/85 "2012-09-30T04:03:22Z")
> [@carnut](#): > > Perhaps because our breasts help define our “femaleness” the way my ex wouldn’t have a vasectomy even though he didn’t want kids because it was part of how he defined his manliness. Wanting to have surgery for breast enlargements is comparable to _not_ wanting to have surgery to become sterile? 😕 And I feel sorry for any woman who is so disillusioned that she would consider FAKE BOOBS as in any way defining “femaleness”. ---
**Author:** ![Princhester](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/3e96dc/32.png) [@Princhester](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Princhester)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2012, 4:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-women-do-to-make-themselves-attractive-to-men-that-dont-make-them-attractive-to-men/635987/86 "2012-09-30T04:52:36Z")
> [@the lone cashew](#): > > Wanting to have surgery for breast enlargements is comparable to _not_ wanting to have surgery to become sterile? 😕 You are failing to see **Carnut’s** point. The point is not about whether or not you have surgery, it is about the end result. The end result of breast enhancement is having something that might make someone feel feminine, and the end result of not having a vasectomy is having something that might make someone feel masculine. Whether people should feel that way is a moot point, of course. ---
**Author:** ![Stainles\_Stan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce7236/32.png) [@Stainles\_Stan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stainles_Stan)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2012, 5:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-women-do-to-make-themselves-attractive-to-men-that-dont-make-them-attractive-to-men/635987/87 "2012-09-30T05:57:11Z")
any form of body piercings ---
**Author:** ![Sitnam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Sitnam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sitnam)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2012, 2:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-women-do-to-make-themselves-attractive-to-men-that-dont-make-them-attractive-to-men/635987/88 "2012-09-30T14:52:01Z")
Lip injections. 40 something women trying to recapture their youthful appearance by attempting to look like Angelina Jolie with a syringe filled with collagen. ugh. Blowfish lips look bad enough, but on an older woman they just accentuate the crows feet and tortoise neck. I just feel bad for these women. ---
**Author:** ![Ostrya](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/35a633/32.png) [@Ostrya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ostrya)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2012, 3:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-women-do-to-make-themselves-attractive-to-men-that-dont-make-them-attractive-to-men/635987/89 "2012-09-30T15:28:41Z")
> [@Princhester](#): > > You are failing to see **Carnut’s** point. The point is not about whether or not you have surgery, it is about the end result. The end result of breast enhancement is having something that might make someone feel feminine, and the end result of not having a vasectomy is having something that might make someone feel masculine. Whether people should feel that way is a moot point, of course. I can definitely understand breast replacement surgery. But I don’t think making breasts larger is a very good comparison to sterilization. That just strikes me as a poor parallel. Perhaps it’s my own bias showing. I feel a bit saddened that any woman might feel inadequate enough with the breasts she has to go as far as having surgery to make them larger. I think the whole concept is fucked up. ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2012, 3:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-women-do-to-make-themselves-attractive-to-men-that-dont-make-them-attractive-to-men/635987/90 "2012-09-30T15:56:57Z")
> [@the lone cashew](#): > > I feel a bit saddened that any woman might feel inadequate enough with the breasts she has to go as far as having surgery to make them larger. I think the whole concept is fucked up. If there was a legitimate Penis lengthening implant available, how many men do you think would have them? How many would have the same silly assed overdone clown penis equivalent of clown breasts that some women have? ---
**Author:** ![Troppus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a587f6/32.png) [@Troppus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Troppus)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2012, 3:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-women-do-to-make-themselves-attractive-to-men-that-dont-make-them-attractive-to-men/635987/91 "2012-09-30T15:58:30Z")
> [@Chimera](#): > > If there was a legitimate Penis lengthening implant available, how many men do you think would have them? How many would have the same silly assed overdone clown penis equivalent of clown breasts that some women have? Excellent point. ---
**Author:** ![Ostrya](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/35a633/32.png) [@Ostrya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ostrya)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2012, 4:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-women-do-to-make-themselves-attractive-to-men-that-dont-make-them-attractive-to-men/635987/92 "2012-09-30T16:26:50Z")
> [@Chimera](#): > > If there was a legitimate Penis lengthening implant available, how many men do you think would have them? How many would have the same silly assed overdone clown penis equivalent of clown breasts that some women have? I think penis lengthening implants are a fucked up concept too. ---
**Author:** ![Lynn\_Bodoni](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e47c2d/32.png) [@Lynn\_Bodoni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lynn_Bodoni)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2012, 4:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-women-do-to-make-themselves-attractive-to-men-that-dont-make-them-attractive-to-men/635987/93 "2012-09-30T16:30:13Z")
Do I have to drag out my bageldog penis link again? Do I? ---
**Author:** ![Sleeps\_With\_Butterflies](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bb73d2/32.png) [@Sleeps\_With\_Butterflies](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sleeps_With_Butterflies)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2012, 4:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-women-do-to-make-themselves-attractive-to-men-that-dont-make-them-attractive-to-men/635987/94 "2012-09-30T16:41:00Z")
> [@Chimera](#): > > If there was a legitimate Penis lengthening implant available, how many men do you think would have them? How many would have the same silly assed overdone clown penis equivalent of clown breasts that some women have? I think hair plugs are a better comparison as they are also cosmetic and surgical in nature. As far as the rest of it, meh. I think the thread would go better if the OP would have just taken the “n” off the last word of the title because it’s pretty silly, honestly. Silly because what is attractive to one man is going to be unattractive to another obviously. Women should do whatever they think makes them look the best. If they’re mostly doing it for themselves, great. If they’re doing it to attract a guy, great. The kind of guy they’re looking for will be attracted to what they’re doing. You don’t think what she’s doing is attractive? That’s great too because I doubt she’s trying to be attractive to you. See, everybody gets to be happy! ---
**Author:** ![ralph124c](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/8797f3/32.png) [@ralph124c](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ralph124c)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2012, 5:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-women-do-to-make-themselves-attractive-to-men-that-dont-make-them-attractive-to-men/635987/95 "2012-09-30T17:12:24Z")
Poorly fitting designer clothes. Its much better to spend your money on tailored clothes that fit correctly. A $1000 Prada dress that fits badly looks like something off the $20 rack-buy good quality clothes and have them fitted. And don’t attempt to wear the fashions that look good on anorexic supermodels-most of them look like walking skeletons. ---
**Author:** ![Ostrya](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/35a633/32.png) [@Ostrya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ostrya)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2012, 5:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-women-do-to-make-themselves-attractive-to-men-that-dont-make-them-attractive-to-men/635987/96 "2012-09-30T17:34:18Z")
> [@Lynn\_Bodoni](#): > > Do I have to drag out my bageldog penis link again? Do I? Those were not bagels being tossed onto the erect penis. They were donuts. ---
**Author:** ![dnooman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/839c29/32.png) [@dnooman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dnooman)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2012, 7:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-women-do-to-make-themselves-attractive-to-men-that-dont-make-them-attractive-to-men/635987/97 "2012-10-01T07:16:49Z")
> [@the lone cashew](#): > > Those were not bagels being tossed onto the erect penis. They were donuts. Did you just ruin breakfast for everyone everywhere? ---
**Author:** ![Cartooniverse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cartooniverse/32/3084_2.png) [@Cartooniverse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cartooniverse)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2012, 12:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-women-do-to-make-themselves-attractive-to-men-that-dont-make-them-attractive-to-men/635987/98 "2012-10-01T12:54:32Z")
> [@Lynn\_Bodoni](#): > > Do I have to drag out my bageldog penis link again? Do I? Yes. ---
**Author:** ![BottledBlondJeanie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/0ea827/32.png) [@BottledBlondJeanie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BottledBlondJeanie)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2012, 1:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-women-do-to-make-themselves-attractive-to-men-that-dont-make-them-attractive-to-men/635987/99 "2012-10-01T13:59:36Z")
Yes, duck lips are ridiculous. But that’s just one end of the spectrum. Many women have had lip injections and you’d never guess it, and the difference is very attractive. I always had thin lips, now I get injections once a year and no one can tell unless I tell them. As with any type of plastic surgery or fillers, if you can tell it’s been done, you’re doing it wrong. ---
**Author:** ![salinqmind](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3ec8ea/32.png) [@salinqmind](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/salinqmind)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2012, 3:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-women-do-to-make-themselves-attractive-to-men-that-dont-make-them-attractive-to-men/635987/100 "2012-10-01T15:11:00Z")
Big fat pumped up lips, like inner tubes. Painted with pale pink, or worse, smeared with gooey lip gloss, the kind stray hairs stick to. Ick! And they drink out of a glass or cup, smearing IT! I worked in an office with a short, stout girl who wore absurd 4" or higher heels (often with gaudy hardware, in bright colors, not just a neutral plain pump!) every day with her frumpy office clothes. (Sensible white button down shirt with a khaki gabardine skirt, or dull polyester office-wear separates.) She looked just plain stupid tottering around in those stupid shoes. And to make matters worse, she had little teeny feet that she crammed into the kind of shoe that made her look like she had HOOVES at the bottom of her cankles. Maybe she felt sexy and glamorous, or taller, but those shoes were downright unfortunate. Too much black eyeliner (and dark eyeshadow, too) is not a good look on women with little teeny gimlet eyes. It makes their eyes smaller and hard looking, like burn holes in a blanket. Really, one reads about ‘makeup tricks’ to make the eyes big n’ pretty, but sometimes you just have to be satisfied with what you’ve got and not try to tart yourself up too much. It can backfire. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-women-do-to-make-themselves-attractive-to-men-that-dont-make-them-attractive-to-men/635987.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-women-do-to-make-themselves-attractive-to-men-that-dont-make-them-attractive-to-men/635987.md?page=6)