# Things you are dying to say, but just can't **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [March 13, 2012, 9:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-are-dying-to-say-but-just-cant/615630 "2012-03-13T09:25:13Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 5\ **Page:** 7
**Author:** ![Ellen\_Cherry](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ellen_cherry/32/3600_2.png) [@Ellen\_Cherry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ellen_Cherry)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2012, 2:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-are-dying-to-say-but-just-cant/615630/121 "2012-03-26T14:04:34Z")
To the woman I cut out of my life eight years ago: Owning dogs is not the same as being a mother. Yes, I realize you go home to let them out at lunch and pat their little heads. But then you LOCK THEM UP IN A CAGE FOR FOUR HOURS until you come home after work. This is not the same as being a mother to a human being. Fuck you and your issues; I am so glad I never have to talk to you again for the rest of my life. ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2012, 2:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-are-dying-to-say-but-just-cant/615630/122 "2012-03-26T14:53:48Z")
> [@The\_Man\_With\_The\_Golden\_Gun](#): > > The reason I babble so much about how I hate my life and want to kill myself isn’t because I’m an attention whore or that it’s some kind of stupid cry for help. > > It’s because I just don’t want the end to come as a surprise to anyone. There are a lot of things in this thread that people really ought to go ahead and say. This one most of all. I hope you do say this as soon as possible to someone you know IRL. ---
**Author:** ![carnut](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnut/32/3531_2.png) [@carnut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnut)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2012, 11:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-are-dying-to-say-but-just-cant/615630/123 "2012-03-26T23:28:50Z")
> [@The\_Man\_With\_The\_Golden\_Gun](#): > > The reason I babble so much about how I hate my life and want to kill myself isn’t because I’m an attention whore or that it’s some kind of stupid cry for help. > > It’s because I just don’t want the end to come as a surprise to anyone. Been there. I finally caved and cried “Uncle” for help. And guess what? It’s helping. It’s not instant, but it is helping. Please Man, get yourself some help. You deserve it. ---
**Author:** ![LoonyMoon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/34f0e0/32.png) [@LoonyMoon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LoonyMoon)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2012, 12:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-are-dying-to-say-but-just-cant/615630/124 "2012-03-27T00:02:07Z")
To gladiator sandal wearers, high booty wearers, and UGG wearers I would love to say: “When you wear those things with a dress or skirt, you look like you’re standing in a pair of BUCKETS.” “If you say “like” more than 5 times in one sentence, you need to learn more words.” “Stop saying that everything is ‘AWESOME!’” (Again, look up some new words) Guys: “Unless you are a cute freckled-faced boy of 10, please stop wearing your baseball caps on backwards. You look absolutely ridiculous.” (And PS: if you’re not getting any lately, THAT’S WHY!) “If you are stupid enough to text WHILE DRIVING, you should lose your license for life. You are too dumb to drive.” And PUH-LEEZ–pull up your pants! I have seen way too ass-cracks!! ---
**Author:** ![Ellen\_Cherry](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ellen_cherry/32/3600_2.png) [@Ellen\_Cherry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ellen_Cherry)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2012, 2:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-are-dying-to-say-but-just-cant/615630/125 "2012-03-27T14:52:15Z")
_tucks gladiator sandals beneath skirt_ [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/things-you-are-dying-to-say-but-just-cant/615630.md?page=6)